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Anti-Jokes! - Page 2

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Gingerninja
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United Kingdom1339 Posts
June 30 2011 12:53 GMT
#21
Another Bill Bailey one.. truly the master of Anti-jokes.

Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.
戦いの中に答えはある
Papillon
Profile Joined February 2010
Germany131 Posts
June 30 2011 12:57 GMT
#22
What's the difference between a bird?

It has two wings, especially the left one.
Swad1000
Profile Joined January 2011
United States366 Posts
June 30 2011 12:58 GMT
#23
A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
DNB
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Finland995 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 13:00:37
June 30 2011 13:00 GMT
#24
What happened to a sailor after he fell in the Red Sea?

+ Show Spoiler +
He got wet
Rixilius
Profile Joined August 2010
Philippines52 Posts
June 30 2011 13:02 GMT
#25
What do you call a bomerang that doesn't work.

+ Show Spoiler +
a stick
Hey you down there!
MetalLobster
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada532 Posts
June 30 2011 13:05 GMT
#26
"Knock knock"
+ Show Spoiler +
FUCK YOU I DONT OPEN DOORS FOR STRANGERS
Klive5ive
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United Kingdom6056 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 13:09:33
June 30 2011 13:05 GMT
#27
I heard a great one of these at a Festival in the UK:

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
One walks on the moon, the other does like playing with children.
Don't hate the player - Hate the game
RPR_Tempest
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Australia7798 Posts
June 30 2011 13:09 GMT
#28
Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was hit by the first koala.

Q: Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?

A: It thought that it looked fun and joined in.
Soundwave, Zerg player from Canberra, Australia. @SoundwaveSC
jhNz
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Germany2762 Posts
June 30 2011 13:11 GMT
#29
[image loading]

What is white and disturbing while you have dinner?
+ Show Spoiler +
An avalanche.
http://twitter.com/jhNz
Gryffes
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United Kingdom763 Posts
June 30 2011 13:13 GMT
#30
Norm Mcdonald is the king of anti humour.

www.youtube.com/gryffes - Random Gaming Videos.
Sqalevon
Profile Joined August 2010
Netherlands523 Posts
June 30 2011 13:16 GMT
#31
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
9-11
9-11 who ?
+ Show Spoiler +
I thought you'd never forget.
bibbaly
Profile Joined October 2010
98 Posts
June 30 2011 13:24 GMT
#32
Michael J Fox orders a martini at a bar, the barkeep asks, "Shaken or stirred?"
Michael replies, "It doesn't matter it's going to end up on the floor."
Brotkrumen
Profile Joined May 2010
Germany193 Posts
June 30 2011 13:25 GMT
#33
Q: Why did the man kill himself?

A: Because his alcoholism led to a divorce from his wife, estranged his children and drove him into a deep depression he couldn't get out of.
BlindSC2
Profile Joined January 2011
United Kingdom435 Posts
June 30 2011 13:26 GMT
#34
Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

Oh Bill Bailey, I bow to you

The tree blind mice one earlier in the thread was from the same show - Bill Bailey, Part Troll. Look it up if you like this kind of humour, he also does a lot of musical stuff as well. His recent stuff hasn't been that great unfortunately, but Part Troll was an amazingly funny show
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools; because they have to say something - Plato
dangerjoe
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Denmark1866 Posts
June 30 2011 13:28 GMT
#35
A man walks into a bar, and sees a horse sitting at the bar, drinking Martini.
Surprised and confused, he sits down and wait for the horse to leave.

Finally the horse leaves, and the man asks the bartender: "How wierd was that, huh? A horse drinking Martini???!"

+ Show Spoiler +
The bartender says: "Yeah, I know right.. Usually he orders beer."


Ask Beavis, I get nothing Butt-head
Tobberoth
Profile Joined August 2010
Sweden6375 Posts
June 30 2011 13:28 GMT
#36
I prefer latvian jokes which are of a similar category.

Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference?
Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!

Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.

What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.
sanya
Profile Joined February 2011
482 Posts
June 30 2011 13:28 GMT
#37
a protoss all ins idra , and wins
If wishes were fishes , we'd all cast nets.
Blyf
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Denmark408 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 13:31:47
June 30 2011 13:31 GMT
#38
On June 30 2011 21:50 Mackin wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 30 2011 21:33 Blyf wrote:
An Irishman walks past a bar

Lies, we never walk past one, unless its to a different one.


That's.... the joke
"ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin --- wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, fuckface. - Some idiot --- D3 Evelynn main with a side of Ashe/Tristana
Jayjay54
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Germany2296 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 13:32:20
June 30 2011 13:32 GMT
#39
what is white and bothers u while u r eatin?

+ Show Spoiler +
an avalanche
Things are laid back in Unidenland. And may the road ahead be lid with dreams and tomorrows. Which are lid with dreams. Also.
Keitzer
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2509 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 13:34:24
June 30 2011 13:33 GMT
#40
inb4 anti-joke chicken.

also

Q: What do you get when you combine a Jewish man, a Black guy, and an Asian male?
A: + Show Spoiler +
A diverse group of guys.
I'm like badass squared | KeitZer.489
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