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Anti-Jokes! - Page 5

Forum Index > Closed
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Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
July 01 2011 03:22 GMT
#81
A man walks into a bar

+ Show Spoiler +
His drinking problem ruined his family
Diks
Profile Joined January 2010
Belgium1880 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-01 03:29:36
July 01 2011 03:26 GMT
#82
(Belgian anti-joke)

A journalist interviews a farmer :
- You have a very nice field, and a good number of cows, do you get a good production out of it ?
- Yes, yes ! mostly from the white cows.
- Not from the black ?
- Oh yes, from the black too !
- They seem very calm
- They are very calm, mostly the white.
- The black cows aren't ?
- Yes, the black are very calm too !
- Do they make a good milk ?
- Yes, mainly the white.
- The black don't ?
- Oh, yes, they do too.
- Sir I don't understand, why do you always refere to this white cows then ?
- Well, listen to me. It's because the white cows are mine.
- The black aren't ?
+ Show Spoiler +
- Yes, they are also mine
Shellshock
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States97276 Posts
July 01 2011 03:26 GMT
#83
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it?

Getting raped
Moderatorhttp://i.imgur.com/U4xwqmD.png
TL+ Member
GGitsJack
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
New Zealand426 Posts
July 01 2011 03:52 GMT
#84
My favourite one:

why is there no aspirin in the rainforest?
because it would be financially inviable to sell pharmaceuticals in the vastly unpopulated rain forest.
"A reason becomes an excuse if you don't do anything about it."
yellingnewt
Profile Joined June 2011
United States22 Posts
July 01 2011 03:53 GMT
#85
Two blondes walk into a building.


You think one of them would have seen it!
High Masters Protoss: :)
snotboogie
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia3550 Posts
July 01 2011 04:02 GMT
#86
What's red and spins around?

+ Show Spoiler +
A baby in a microwave
GGTeMpLaR
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States7226 Posts
July 01 2011 04:05 GMT
#87
On July 01 2011 12:26 Diks wrote:
(Belgian anti-joke)

A journalist interviews a farmer :
- You have a very nice field, and a good number of cows, do you get a good production out of it ?
- Yes, yes ! mostly from the white cows.
- Not from the black ?
- Oh yes, from the black too !
- They seem very calm
- They are very calm, mostly the white.
- The black cows aren't ?
- Yes, the black are very calm too !
- Do they make a good milk ?
- Yes, mainly the white.
- The black don't ?
- Oh, yes, they do too.
- Sir I don't understand, why do you always refere to this white cows then ?
- Well, listen to me. It's because the white cows are mine.
- The black aren't ?
+ Show Spoiler +
- Yes, they are also mine


Ahaha that's I good one, I shoulda seen that one coming.
See.Blue
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States2673 Posts
July 01 2011 04:21 GMT
#88
Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm?

+ Show Spoiler +
Getting raped by a giant scorpian
hypno_toad
Profile Joined December 2010
United States156 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-01 04:28:44
July 01 2011 04:28 GMT
#89
On July 01 2011 11:57 MadPretty wrote:
Q: How do you kill a red elephant?
A: + Show Spoiler +
With a red elephant gun.



How do you kill a purple elephant?
+ Show Spoiler +
with a purple elephant gun


How do you kill a pink elephant?
+ Show Spoiler +
Hold its tusk until it becomes purple, then shoot it with a purple elephant gun
┻━┻ ︵ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ︵ ┻━┻
Eknoid4
Profile Joined October 2010
United States902 Posts
July 01 2011 04:30 GMT
#90
A lot of the jokes being posted aren't what the OP describes at all. They're just puns.
If you're mad that someone else is brazenly trumpeting their beliefs with ignorance, perhaps you should be mad that you are doing it too.
Enervate
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1769 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-01 04:42:46
July 01 2011 04:39 GMT
#91
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

+ Show Spoiler +
"Where's my tractor?"


Edit: Dangit someone already posted this one. Ok trying to think of another one.
blacksheepwall
Profile Joined June 2011
China1530 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-01 04:50:12
July 01 2011 04:46 GMT
#92
What do you call a black man who flies a plane?

+ Show Spoiler +
A pilot, you racist!


Another one that's ridiculous but that I find hilarious:

You: I know a great Knock Knock joke but you have to start it.
Them: Okay. Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Them: ...
You: ...
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ // </3 Taeja
Dante08
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Singapore4126 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-01 04:49:42
July 01 2011 04:46 GMT
#93
Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because seven ate nine

What did 0 say to 8?

Don't you feel uncomfortable with that belt?
ilj.psa
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Peru3081 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-01 04:59:51
July 01 2011 04:54 GMT
#94
Him:Knock Know
Me: Whos there?
Him:newspaper
Me: newspaper who?
Him:
vek
Profile Joined March 2010
Australia936 Posts
July 01 2011 05:01 GMT
#95
On July 01 2011 09:04 rivurivurivurivu wrote:
Knock knock
+ Show Spoiler +
come in


I can't wait until the next time someone tries a knock knock joke on me.
Shebuha
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Canada1335 Posts
July 01 2011 05:02 GMT
#96
On June 30 2011 21:33 Wr4ith_Bl4d3 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 30 2011 21:30 nttea wrote:
On June 30 2011 21:26 ZeraToss wrote:
Q : what smells like rabbit and is invisible

A: + Show Spoiler +
a rabbits fart

im pretty sure a rabbits fart smells like fart? :/


nah I'm certain a rabbit's fart smells like rabbit's fart /tautology


Are you in the tautology CLUB?!?! You should join.
NrG.Bamboo
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States2756 Posts
July 01 2011 05:03 GMT
#97
How can you tell if there was an elephant in your refrigerator?

+ Show Spoiler +
There are footprints in the butter
I need to protect all your life you can enjoy the vibrant life of your battery
shawster
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada2485 Posts
July 01 2011 05:07 GMT
#98
what's big hard and full of seamen?

+ Show Spoiler +
a submarine


hope that wasn't already posted haha
CortoMontez
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia608 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-01 05:17:29
July 01 2011 05:17 GMT
#99
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
"Creator was doing a really good job trying to win without storm but it was like eating spaghetti with a screwdriver." -Severian
uiCk
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Canada1925 Posts
July 01 2011 05:18 GMT
#100
this guy wins at anti-humor

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids
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