the Rabbit walks in the forest, and as he walks a pink bicycle falls on his head. He looks up, but sees nothing. He doesnt know what else to do, so he keeps walking. Just a bit later, another pink bicycle falls on his head. He looks up again, but sees nothing. He keeps walking, but a third pink bicycle hits him. He looks up and sees the Owl up ink the sky. He asks from him, hey Owl, are you throwing pink bicycles at me? The Owl says: yeah...

Wargable

United States107 Posts

July 02 2011 16:06 GMT

#143

Yeah there are way too many people in here who don't understand what an anti-joke is.

TALegion

United States1187 Posts

July 02 2011 16:07 GMT

#144

Why did the child drop his Ice Cream?
+ Show Spoiler +

He got hit by a bus.

Tewks44

United States2032 Posts

July 02 2011 16:47 GMT

#145

A horse walks into a bar. A few people get up and leave because they can see the potential danger in the situation.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "because my wife is dying of terminal cancer"

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

Volkspanzer

United States83 Posts

July 02 2011 16:52 GMT

#146

Why was the man buried in the side of the hill?

+ Show Spoiler +

He is dead.

yellingnewt

United States22 Posts

July 02 2011 17:01 GMT

#147

Knock Knock
Who's There
Nobody
Nobody who?

taldarimAltar

973 Posts

July 02 2011 18:05 GMT

#148

A panda, a rabbit, a fox, a bat and a turtle were walking through the forest one day when suddenly the turtle says he need to take a dump and walks into the bushes for privacy, then the fox also decides he needs to take a shit. Bat, being a pervert, says he need to go to and follows foxy fox into the undergrowth. The rabbit also come to the conclusion he need to poop and goes in shortly after. So the panda sits on a boulder and ponders to himself "I wonder what those guys are going to use to wipe" After struggling with the dilemma, unable to hold his crap anymore, the panda goes into the bushes to shit.

A few minutes later panda emerges from the bushes and sees turtle coming out of the bushes. He asks turtle what he used to wipe his ass, turtle tell him he used some leaves. Then fox come forth from the bushes and panda asks him the same question, twigs the fox replies. Bat flies out of the bushes and gets asked the same thing. Bat says he used some pebbles, and they all wondered how bat did that. While they wait for rabbit, turtle asks "So what did you use panda?" Panda hesitates for a moment, and looks down sheepishly. Panda opens his mouth, but before he can answer, rabbit come out of the bushes covered in shit.

RighteousDan

Canada99 Posts

July 02 2011 19:14 GMT

#149

On July 03 2011 01:06 Wargable wrote:
Yeah there are way too many people in here who don't understand what an anti-joke is.

Yeah it's turned into a somewhat "intelligent" joke thread. Or jokes with relatively easy to predict punchlines that aren't normally heard of.

Dalguno

United States2446 Posts

July 02 2011 19:19 GMT

#150

What do you get when you cross a lion and a gazelle?

+ Show Spoiler +

A dead gazelle.

Kwidowmaker

Canada978 Posts

July 02 2011 19:21 GMT

#151

A mathematician is on sabbatical and decides he'll try his hand at plumbing. He signs up to a plumbing course at the local college and does a few weeks, gets his hands a bit dirty and smells a bit of shit. Part of the course involves theory and a bit of math. Math, of course, is any mathematician's forte. He's sitting in class and the instructor asks, what's the area of a circle? The mathematician shoots his hand up and the instructor tells him to write the answer on the black board. Surrounded by blue collar workers he walks up to the front, but he finds he can't recall the formula. "No problem!" he thinks to himself, and starts to derive the formula. He writes down a double integral, evaluates, and he comes up with an answer that he knows can't be right. He tries again, this time with a trig substitution and still can't get it right. Defeated, he turns to the instructor and says "I can't remember the formula".

In unison the class shouts out: "CHANGE THE BOUNDS ON YOUR INTEGRAL"

Yourhighness

United Kingdom25 Posts

July 02 2011 19:48 GMT

#152

Whats big, red, and eats rocks?
+ Show Spoiler +

a big red rock eater.

Whats white and if it fell from the sky it would kill you?
+ Show Spoiler +

a fridge

Whats white and blue and if it fell from the sky it would kill you?
+ Show Spoiler +

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing?
+ Show Spoiler +

She was hit by a fridge.

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop?
+ Show Spoiler +

Dr Dre

What is pink and fluffy?
+ Show Spoiler +

pink fluff.

What did the apple say to the grape?
+ Show Spoiler +

Nothing, fruit cant speak.

All i can remember at the moment, these kinds of jokes always crack me up though :D.

NexUmbra

Scotland3776 Posts

July 02 2011 19:58 GMT

#153

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

Airstrike

United Kingdom50 Posts

July 02 2011 20:05 GMT

#154

Whats 6 inches long and starts with a P?

+ Show Spoiler +

A shit

Gladiator6

Sweden7024 Posts

July 02 2011 20:11 GMT

#155

What usually happens when the commercial starts on tv?

+ Show Spoiler +

You switch channel.

Klive5ive

United Kingdom6056 Posts

July 02 2011 20:31 GMT

#156

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk?
+ Show Spoiler +

Because its face was stapled to the floor.

(not really an anti-joke but whatever)

MeteorMash

United States54 Posts

July 02 2011 20:36 GMT

#157

i was reading about sharks. do you know what other species brutally murders people who are trying to help them? just you. you thought i was going to say sharks, didnt you?

GreEny K

Germany7312 Posts

July 02 2011 20:53 GMT

#158

Whats the difference between a brunette and a blonde?

+ Show Spoiler +

The blonde is an idiot... You were expecting "their hair color"

n00b3rt

Bulgaria890 Posts

July 02 2011 21:02 GMT

#159

Epsilon < 0

Cadaver!!

Hungary390 Posts

July 02 2011 21:08 GMT

#160

On July 03 2011 05:36 MeteorMash wrote:
i was reading about sharks. do you know what other species brutally murders people who are trying to help them? just you. you thought i was going to say sharks, didnt you?

The correct answer is nobody. Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.