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Anti-Jokes!

Forum Index > Closed
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tnkted
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States1359 Posts
June 30 2011 12:19 GMT
#1
Have you guys ever heard of anti-jokes? Anti-jokes are jokes that are funny not because they're witty or clever, but because they play on the expectations of the audience. They set up expectations for the audience and then simultaniously acknowledge and mock those expectations in the punchline.

Some examples:

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

Q: Whats brown and sticky?
A: A stick!

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
A: The holocaust.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.

Q: Whats red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint.

Q: What did the homeless man get for christmas?
A: Nothing

Q: What's the difference between a bicycle and a black man?
A: A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being.

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar. The Christian says "if you don't believe in God you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "if there was a benevolent supreme being, logic dictates that there would be proof of his existence other than a 2,000 year old book." They agree to set aside their petty differences and get on with their lives. (LOL GET IT?!?!?)

All of these were stolen from anti-joke.com because I'm a thief and a plagiarist. What anti-jokes can you guys come up with? Basically the rules are that it can't be a regular joke. It has to set up expectations for the punchline and then totally change directions entirely. A joke that starts with "How do you wake up lady gaga in the morning?" CANT END WITH "Poke 'er face!" Instead, end it with something like, "You let her sleep because its sunday and she was out late last night and she needs her beauty sleep."

Basically, start a common joke (X walks into a bar, Whats the difference between X and Y, Knock Knock, etc) and play with the audience's expectations. I'll put some of the jokes that make me laugh into the OP. Super easy! Good luck!
'I think "tnkted" may have justified this entire thread.' - Mjolnir
ZeraToss
Profile Joined January 2011
Germany1094 Posts
June 30 2011 12:26 GMT
#2
Q : what smells like rabbit and is invisible

A: + Show Spoiler +
a rabbits fart
"Personality should be irrelevant. This is a computer game tournament, not a dating show." EGIdrA on "introduce yourself and say something about your personality" Idra <3
eluv
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1251 Posts
June 30 2011 12:28 GMT
#3
How can this have not been in the OP....

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

For a great comic on the theme, try SMBC
"Yes I fucked my way to the GSL partnership" - Sundance
nttea
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Sweden4353 Posts
June 30 2011 12:30 GMT
#4
On June 30 2011 21:26 ZeraToss wrote:
Q : what smells like rabbit and is invisible

A: + Show Spoiler +
a rabbits fart

im pretty sure a rabbits fart smells like fart? :/
Probe1
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States17920 Posts
June 30 2011 12:32 GMT
#5
I seem to remember someone being banned recently for anti (tasteless) jokes.
우정호 KT_VIOLET 1988 - 2012 While we are postponing, life speeds by
Wr4ith_Bl4d3
Profile Joined April 2010
Australia27 Posts
June 30 2011 12:33 GMT
#6
On June 30 2011 21:30 nttea wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 30 2011 21:26 ZeraToss wrote:
Q : what smells like rabbit and is invisible

A: + Show Spoiler +
a rabbits fart

im pretty sure a rabbits fart smells like fart? :/


nah I'm certain a rabbit's fart smells like rabbit's fart /tautology
Endure in enduring grow stronger
Blyf
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Denmark408 Posts
June 30 2011 12:33 GMT
#7
An Irishman walks past a bar
"ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin --- wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, fuckface. - Some idiot --- D3 Evelynn main with a side of Ashe/Tristana
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
June 30 2011 12:33 GMT
#8
why did the chicken cross the road?
+ Show Spoiler +
to get across the road
Gingerninja
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United Kingdom1339 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 12:38:51
June 30 2011 12:34 GMT
#9
I'm pretty sure Bill Bailey does a few in his stand up shows. They do actually get laughs because you don't expect them.



His joke about God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit in a Pub.
戦いの中に答えはある
ZeraToss
Profile Joined January 2011
Germany1094 Posts
June 30 2011 12:35 GMT
#10
On June 30 2011 21:33 Blyf wrote:
An Irishman walks past a bar

hahahah
"Personality should be irrelevant. This is a computer game tournament, not a dating show." EGIdrA on "introduce yourself and say something about your personality" Idra <3
PacWac
Profile Joined November 2010
Northern Ireland94 Posts
June 30 2011 12:36 GMT
#11
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
All Ireland Starcraft
intotheheart
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada33091 Posts
June 30 2011 12:37 GMT
#12

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar. The Christian says "if you don't believe in God you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "if there was a benevolent supreme being, logic dictates that there would be proof of his existence other than a 2,000 year old book." They agree to set aside their petty differences and get on with their lives. (LOL GET IT?!?!?)


^

Does not compute. Could someone please explain this to me? :S
kiss kiss fall in love
IamAnton
Profile Joined January 2010
Canada335 Posts
June 30 2011 12:42 GMT
#13
On June 30 2011 21:37 IntoTheheart wrote:

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar. The Christian says "if you don't believe in God you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "if there was a benevolent supreme being, logic dictates that there would be proof of his existence other than a 2,000 year old book." They agree to set aside their petty differences and get on with their lives. (LOL GET IT?!?!?)


^

Does not compute. Could someone please explain this to me? :S


they got on with their lives as opposed to having a continued pointless argument? Where as in almost every normal case people feel the need to argue about it for hours :O.
"Man created God in his own image." - Ludwig Feuerbach
iSometric
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
2221 Posts
June 30 2011 12:42 GMT
#14
What did Harry say to Potter?

Hi Last name
strava.com/athletes/zhaodynasty
Orpheos
Profile Joined April 2010
United States1663 Posts
June 30 2011 12:43 GMT
#15
the red paint one really got me the first time i heard it.

this is my favorite one.

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".
Celadan
Profile Joined September 2010
Norway471 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 12:44:36
June 30 2011 12:44 GMT
#16
What did the penguin do in the desert
+ Show Spoiler +
It died

спеціальна Тактика
Supamang
Profile Joined June 2010
United States2298 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 12:46:54
June 30 2011 12:45 GMT
#17
these are funny, but I only know 1 and its a racist joke

unless the one from South Park counts:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
An interrupting cow.
An interrupting cow wh--
MOOOOOOOOOO
Zafrumi
Profile Joined June 2009
Switzerland1272 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-30 12:50:03
June 30 2011 12:49 GMT
#18
On June 30 2011 21:28 eluv wrote:
How can this have not been in the OP....

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

For a great comic on the theme, try SMBC


dude, the joke goes "a baby seal walks into a club"

two dogs walk across a bridge. one of them falls into the river and the other is called fluffy.
"Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general" -Mark Rippetoe
Epsilon8
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada173 Posts
June 30 2011 12:49 GMT
#19
Why did the chicken cross the road?

+ Show Spoiler +
The chicken doesn't know what a road is so there really was no reason.
If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.
Mackin
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Ireland181 Posts
June 30 2011 12:50 GMT
#20
On June 30 2011 21:33 Blyf wrote:
An Irishman walks past a bar

Lies, we never walk past one, unless its to a different one.

Heres mine:
Q. What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
A. + Show Spoiler +
Close the door Im dressing
Serenity
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