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I can completely understand where she is coming from. Porn is more or less a stimulation for getting sexually aroused and it does not promote love.
But due to all the different love lives in the modern world, it is up to the couple. Think of it this way, you are in a relationship and you cannot keep everything you want when you were single.
But if porn is the biggest issue she has, then you should feel very fortunate.
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She sounds really insecure.
Does she like, not masturbate herself? Wtf?
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On January 13 2011 04:28 AyeH wrote:i realize that and we have plenty of sex. but idk if you've been with the same women for many months but it can get boring. The part that struck me as the weirdest in all of this was the above quote. I dated my ex for 5 years and not once did I ever think that it was getting boring... Are you sure you love this girl?
To actually be on topic, why does it bother her? Does she feel it's cheating on her? Is it a lack of confidence in herself? Lack of trust in you? Is it that she finds that it's degrading towards women (even though they make 10x the money that the men do and call all the shots, lol)? Is it against her religion? Some of these you can discuss and work on, whereas others you can't (like if she's a hardcore devout Catholic or something, although I kind of doubt it since you said she pleasures herself & has premarital sex too).
Personally, I think that whether you're watching or just thinking about some celebrity/hot faceless body or reading stories, the emotional attachment is the same (ie: nil). I can see her being concerned if it's people you personally know, but it doesn't sound like that's the case... If she's thinking about Matt Damon like you said, that's just as much "emotional cheating" as watching random videos is so she's being hypocritical (don't tell her that in those words though!)...
If anything, porn/solosex enhances a couple's sex life as long as it's done in moderation and isn't being used as a substitute for actual intimacy. Knowing your own body makes things so much simpler when you throw a second person into the mix.
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She cheated on you before and you forgave her? And now she's thinks porn is cheating and won't allow you to watch it?
Although I think that you shouldn't watch porn if you have a gf, and understand where she's coming from, I don't think she has a say anymore about the relationship because she cheated on you. If you're catering to her every need even after she cheated on you, she's eventually going to treat you like shit.
Take this argument as a chance to stick it up to her and show her who wears the pants in the relationship. The fact that she's going to her teachers shows how devious she is. She's trying to become controlling over you, and now she's using the opinions of others as ammunition. Eventually she's going to win every argument and all the decisions will go her way, or else she'll threaten you with all her ammunition. If you don't teach her a lesson, it'll get out of hand. She'll start to threaten you with cheating, leaving you, etc.
Please stick up for yourself!
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Just tell her these magic words:
"Don't hate. Masturbate!"
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Five pages and no one's asked for the site? I'm impressed, TL.
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On January 13 2011 06:57 Pokebunny wrote: Five pages and no one's asked for the site? I'm impressed, TL.
Nah, its cuz we already know...
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My girlfriend's Catholic and a women's studies major.
Suffice it to say, Incognito Mode on Chrome is useful.
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On January 13 2011 07:01 sob3k wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2011 06:57 Pokebunny wrote: Five pages and no one's asked for the site? I'm impressed, TL. Nah, its cuz we already know... Still, surprised no one asked
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Many girls think pron = cheating for some reason.
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Wow this thread makes me sad. It seems like so many guy would break up with their girlfriends over PORN?! Is porn seriously that important to you?
To the OP, as niteReloaded said, I don't think it's the porn that's the problem, it's your sexlife. You say you have sex a lot and it's getting repetitive. Tell her if you two live out some fantasies and work on getting better in bed, you will stop watching porn.
If you just can't stop watch porn, tell her anyway.
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On January 13 2011 06:30 Haemonculus wrote: She sounds really insecure.
Does she like, not masturbate herself? Wtf?
porn is the issue, not masturbation
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On January 13 2011 07:06 GreatFall wrote: Many girls think pron = cheating for some reason.
technically you're coming off watching another woman, i can definately see how a girl could consider it cheating
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On January 13 2011 04:09 Megaliskuu wrote: Just watch when you want, but tell her you don't watch anymore. EZ Definitely done this. I'm not sure what she thinks, or truly believes, but its worked out fucking great for 2 years, so I can't really say bad things about it.
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On January 13 2011 07:14 Frits wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2011 06:30 Haemonculus wrote: She sounds really insecure.
Does she like, not masturbate herself? Wtf? porn is the issue, not masturbation
But surely she browses some form of erotic material to get herself in the mood... yes?
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On January 13 2011 07:18 Haemonculus wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2011 07:14 Frits wrote:On January 13 2011 06:30 Haemonculus wrote: She sounds really insecure.
Does she like, not masturbate herself? Wtf? porn is the issue, not masturbation But surely she browses some form of erotic material to get herself in the mood... yes? maybe she watches gilmore girls and thinks of herself as Rory. then she dissappears in her room for a while.
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Odd. Maybe I'm oldschool, but I do my best do abstain anyways, let alone while having a girlfriend. Porn makes me feel like a pathetic idiot. I'd rather be frustrated here and there than feel like a loser and waste significant amounts of time on it.
And I don't care who says what, porn = jealous girls. Straight up fact. And when you think of it, if your girlfriend was super turned on watching guys ram girls, I'd feel pretty odd about that and most likely reciprocate whatever she would feel towards me for doing the same.
The neutral side of me also throws out a "wtf" when she cheated on you for real and complains about this being an issue. You should probably start fishing.
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If she has a webcam tell her she can provide the porn herself or stfu.
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I think this is an interesting topic, but also one that makes me extremely uncomfortable. On the one hand, it is not pleasant to know your partner is leering lustfully at other people. Yes, that's a sign of insecurity, but since when has that been such a bad thing? Would you like it if your girlfriend were flirting with guys all the time? Maybe you are really secure and wouldn't care, but if you did, your girlfriend saying 'well, nothing ever comes of it, it's just to help me get my nipples hard' you probably wouldn't be too happy.
There's nothing wrong with two people comfortable with porn being together. There is something wrong when one partner has to bury his or her feelings because the other won't compromise. Yes, both partners have a responsibility to compromise, but would it make you uncomfortable to give up porn? If yes, you have an argument. If no, you should just be nice and maybe bring it up next time you want something from her lol.
(This is disregarding the other aspects of your relationship, as I honestly don't care. If someone cheats on you, you obviously are going to have trust issues for a long time. Maybe she is projecting her emotions onto you about this, but that's not really good discussion.)
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Stupid, but understandable. Tell her every guy does it, and that if she has a problem with it maybe she can help compromise on a solution. In a relationship, both sides try to help one another. Explain to her you don't feel anything for the girls you see in porn and that its a natural urge, all guys get horny. If you can't reach a solution, try to preoccupy yourself with other things to do. I find people mostly watch porn only if there is nothing else to do. If you're always busy than you'll have little to no time for porn.
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