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On January 13 2011 04:39 sob3k wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2011 04:33 AyeH wrote:On January 13 2011 04:30 sob3k wrote:
I love that site.
BTW, if your GF can't handle you jerking it and potentially fantasizing about situations other than you and her, then:
A. She's way too controlling and jealous
and/or
B. She's not comfortable/in denial with human sexuality
What? She's never fantasized about anyone other than you? Gimme a break.
If she can't understand this then get a smarter GF.
I think that site has one of the best looking girls... And she says she has fantasized about matt damon before and i'm sure there are others. she thinks that because it is in her head, it's better than me going on the internet and watching it. i don't understand her at all.. So just ask her to explain why that's different. If she breaks down and ends up saying "it just is" or something similar, then tell her she's going to have to explain/figure out the situation better because she isn't being reasonable or making sense. Just keep on putting the burden of explanation on her. If she comes up with some sort of reasonable argument, then you can discuss. If she can't, then just keep asking her to explain why she feels this way. Eventually she will realize she is in the wrong or she won't be able to handle it and will probably run away. People can't handle cognitive dissonance for extended periods. If she thinks porn is terrible then you have to ask her why and make her actually think about it, because it sounds like she isn't going to do it by herself.
that's basically what i did with her last night over the phone but she keeps crying and i feel bad. i can't even watch porn without feeling guilty now.
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Porn isn't cheating plain and simple, she needs to stop being so insecure about it because it also benefits her. It keeps your mind off doing stuff with other women to an extent, and if you're masturbating on a regular basis then you're also lasting longer which is good for her. 
But seriously if she keeps complaining about you jacking off to porn tell her to make you some homemade porn then. Once you get a good collection of videos and pics going it will usually be better than porn. 
PS: It sucks you're already bored after 8 months.
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On January 13 2011 04:39 sob3k wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2011 04:33 AyeH wrote:On January 13 2011 04:30 sob3k wrote:
I love that site.
BTW, if your GF can't handle you jerking it and potentially fantasizing about situations other than you and her, then:
A. She's way too controlling and jealous
and/or
B. She's not comfortable/in denial with human sexuality
What? She's never fantasized about anyone other than you? Gimme a break.
If she can't understand this then get a smarter GF.
I think that site has one of the best looking girls... And she says she has fantasized about matt damon before and i'm sure there are others. she thinks that because it is in her head, it's better than me going on the internet and watching it. i don't understand her at all.. So just ask her to explain why that's different. If she breaks down and ends up saying "it just is" or something similar, then tell her she's going to have to explain/figure out the situation better because she isn't being reasonable or making sense. Just keep on putting the burden of explanation on her. If she comes up with some sort of reasonable argument, then you can discuss. If she can't, then just keep asking her to explain why she feels this way. Eventually she will realize she is in the wrong or she won't be able to handle it and will probably run away. People can't handle cognitive dissonance for extended periods. If she thinks porn is terrible then you have to ask her why and make her actually think about it, because it sounds like she isn't going to do it by herself. I worked as a swim instructor for a long time and its the same way you get small children over their fear of diving and other skills. You actually engage them in a discussion of why/what they are afraid of, and talk about whether or not it makes sense. Use tons on analogies they understand. Of course they will still be afraid even after they admit to you that their fears are illogical, but if you keep the repetition up the brain eventually internalizes the more reasonable attitudes.
The problem with this angle is that you are trying to logic your way into winning an argument that is 100% based on emotions and feelings for her. There's no cognitive dissonance here, because the female mind accepts "it just is" as a valid explanation for feelings.
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On January 13 2011 04:47 eNtitY~ wrote:Porn isn't cheating plain and simple, she needs to stop being so insecure about it because it also benefits her. It keeps your mind off doing stuff with other women to an extent, and if you're masturbating on a regular basis then you're also lasting longer which is good for her. But seriously if she keeps complaining about you jacking off to porn tell her to make you some homemade porn then. Once you get a good collection of videos and pics going it will usually be better than porn. PS: It sucks you're already bored after 8 months.
i'm not really that bored of her. we just have sex A LOT... it's hard to not get bored when you have sex often as we do. lol
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On January 13 2011 04:45 AyeH wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2011 04:39 sob3k wrote:On January 13 2011 04:33 AyeH wrote:On January 13 2011 04:30 sob3k wrote:
I love that site.
BTW, if your GF can't handle you jerking it and potentially fantasizing about situations other than you and her, then:
A. She's way too controlling and jealous
and/or
B. She's not comfortable/in denial with human sexuality
What? She's never fantasized about anyone other than you? Gimme a break.
If she can't understand this then get a smarter GF.
I think that site has one of the best looking girls... And she says she has fantasized about matt damon before and i'm sure there are others. she thinks that because it is in her head, it's better than me going on the internet and watching it. i don't understand her at all.. So just ask her to explain why that's different. If she breaks down and ends up saying "it just is" or something similar, then tell her she's going to have to explain/figure out the situation better because she isn't being reasonable or making sense. Just keep on putting the burden of explanation on her. If she comes up with some sort of reasonable argument, then you can discuss. If she can't, then just keep asking her to explain why she feels this way. Eventually she will realize she is in the wrong or she won't be able to handle it and will probably run away. People can't handle cognitive dissonance for extended periods. If she thinks porn is terrible then you have to ask her why and make her actually think about it, because it sounds like she isn't going to do it by herself. that's basically what i did with her last night over the phone but she keeps crying and i feel bad. i can't even watch porn without feeling guilty now.
Yeah, it can be rough but you just have to push past that part. The crying is really her trying to hold these two contradictory ideas in her head at the same time, its incredibly uncomfortable. Just remember to make the discussions as easy as possible, use lots of humor. Eventually she will see reason, or she will refuse to even discuss it. If its the second then that also solves the problem, because a person who refuses to think about and discuss difficult situations is the absolute person you do not want to be in a relationship with.
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On January 13 2011 04:50 elmizzt wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2011 04:39 sob3k wrote:On January 13 2011 04:33 AyeH wrote:On January 13 2011 04:30 sob3k wrote:
I love that site.
BTW, if your GF can't handle you jerking it and potentially fantasizing about situations other than you and her, then:
A. She's way too controlling and jealous
and/or
B. She's not comfortable/in denial with human sexuality
What? She's never fantasized about anyone other than you? Gimme a break.
If she can't understand this then get a smarter GF.
I think that site has one of the best looking girls... And she says she has fantasized about matt damon before and i'm sure there are others. she thinks that because it is in her head, it's better than me going on the internet and watching it. i don't understand her at all.. So just ask her to explain why that's different. If she breaks down and ends up saying "it just is" or something similar, then tell her she's going to have to explain/figure out the situation better because she isn't being reasonable or making sense. Just keep on putting the burden of explanation on her. If she comes up with some sort of reasonable argument, then you can discuss. If she can't, then just keep asking her to explain why she feels this way. Eventually she will realize she is in the wrong or she won't be able to handle it and will probably run away. People can't handle cognitive dissonance for extended periods. If she thinks porn is terrible then you have to ask her why and make her actually think about it, because it sounds like she isn't going to do it by herself. I worked as a swim instructor for a long time and its the same way you get small children over their fear of diving and other skills. You actually engage them in a discussion of why/what they are afraid of, and talk about whether or not it makes sense. Use tons on analogies they understand. Of course they will still be afraid even after they admit to you that their fears are illogical, but if you keep the repetition up the brain eventually internalizes the more reasonable attitudes. The problem with this angle is that you are trying to logic your way into winning an argument that is 100% based on emotions and feelings for her. There's no cognitive dissonance here, because the female mind accepts "it just is" as a valid explanation for feelings.
There are very few people stupid enough to think "it just is" is a reasonable explanation for things, no matter what they say to other people. Its just not how the human brain works. If you keep bringing it up, they will be forced to resolve the issue internally through some means. Humans evolved as pattern/cause seeking animals, its from this drive that all our technology and knowledge about the world comes from. We learned to make fire because we weren't satisfied with "it just is", and the same basic process is what you're using in this situation.
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god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
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I'm pretty sure you need to look at it from a perspective other than your own. She may feel inadequate when knowing that you depend on other means of sexual satisfaction, under the impression that she thinks she isn't good enough for you.
It may nothing to do with a girl being too controlling, it could be their self esteem. If somebody was too controlling, they would deny you the ability to admit that somebody other than them is attractive.
I'm not saying its right or wrong to.. relieve yourself, but that you need to look through the eyes of somebody else before judging them. The world is seen through more eyes than your own, that's what makes people unique.
Edit: Its funny how insensitive most of you guys are. People are not "idiots" for having opinions other than your own. There is no fact or fiction when it comes to this topic.
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On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote:
god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Good decision
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On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote:
god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
ROFL... Not trying to be an asshole here, but to be honest the girl sound like an idiot, porn is cheating, WTF?, and then goes to a theologist for relationship advice, LOL?
It must really suck if you have some serious feelings for her, but come on, in the end you're better off without her.
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Well, who didn't see that one coming? It's obvious this girl has major issues and you are better off without her. I been there many a time and it sucks to lose someone (even an 8-monther) but I can tell you are more forgiving and rational than this person and she has some growing to do before she's ready to be an adult ("my teacher said"!? Really?!). C'est la vie.
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The last girlfriend I had watched as much/more porn than me. That was a fun relationship.
IMO if you like to watch porn, and you girlfriend won't let you, get a new girlfriend.
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typical situation
work out an agreement where you pretend not to watch any and she pretends not to notice
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On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote:
god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Ask your girlfriend if she will go with you to the same teacher/theologist and get her opinion on her actually cheating on you.
2EZ.
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On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote:
god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
1). Even though she talked to openly religious people at an openly religious school doesn't mean she got openly religious advice (even though you can make that intuitive leap, I'd recommend against it --> if she brought it up you could blast her on the premarital sex thing anyway).
2). Teachers can't make you break up with someone. If they did then she probably went to the wrong person for advice. The whole point of giving advice is to give you a different perspective and help you reflect on it, NOT make the decision for you.
3). if I were her, I'd use the "you can't let go of YOUR thing argument too"
4). When it comes down to it, does it all matter that much? Evidently you don't think so, but I think you should talk to her and think about it before making a decision like that.
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Just play it down imo. Don't mention fantasizing about other women cause that's what upsets her. When this came up for me I just described it as a physical need for guys that is natural and we all have and it's like her saying I can't go to the toilet.
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On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote:
god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
I am getting the impression you are making this story up... seriously, talking to teachers about bf issues? I am sorry if your story is indeed true, and in this case i can only support your decision.
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It is kind of messed up tbh, but i guess guys will be guys right? Ask yourself this question. Would you be okay if you knew your gf was cumming to fantasies with OTHER men?
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sounds like you just need to tell her to grow up. she's being immature, her feelings are immature, and you shouldn't oblige her unless she has a legitimate reason for believing that you watching porn is an actual problem because you aren't cheating on her.
what i think you should instead do is help her look at porn from a new perspective, as seeing how interesting other people's sex lives can be and how other people have sex. you need porn even though you have her because you guys will/have eventually hit a point where between the two of you, unique things are no longer happening. show her porn is how you two can inject interesting sex back into it, because you've admitted yourself that that's why you're watching porn.
also, if she's actually just blindly listening to other people's insistance on what she should do with her life in terms of ending the relationship with you guys when that person has no clue how you guys are actually doing outside of this small issue, you should explain to her how immature that is. advice is offering a direction, not making a demand.
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On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote:
god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
LOL
just forget this girl.
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EPT
