I watch pornography sometimes(like a lot of guys) and my girlfriend has a problem with it. She thinks that I am cheating on her by watching porn and I guess it truly stems from her jealousy issues. She thinks "why do you need to watch porn when you have me?" And sure, that is a legitimate claim in some way. I tell her my reasons and that she doesn't need to worry about me ever living out my fantasies in real life because I can just do it in front of my computer monitor. In a way, I guess it helps guys control their drive for conquering other women and ultimately helps them avoid cheating on their significant others. She doesn't really get what I'm trying to say to her and so I guess I need some help from the TL community on how to convince her. We have a very healthy sex life, but it's just very repetitive and can get boring sometimes (We've been dating for more than eight months). What do you guys think? Please try to be constructive.
Girlfriends and Pornography
Blogs > AyeH |
AyeH
United States534 Posts
I watch pornography sometimes(like a lot of guys) and my girlfriend has a problem with it. She thinks that I am cheating on her by watching porn and I guess it truly stems from her jealousy issues. She thinks "why do you need to watch porn when you have me?" And sure, that is a legitimate claim in some way. I tell her my reasons and that she doesn't need to worry about me ever living out my fantasies in real life because I can just do it in front of my computer monitor. In a way, I guess it helps guys control their drive for conquering other women and ultimately helps them avoid cheating on their significant others. She doesn't really get what I'm trying to say to her and so I guess I need some help from the TL community on how to convince her. We have a very healthy sex life, but it's just very repetitive and can get boring sometimes (We've been dating for more than eight months). What do you guys think? Please try to be constructive. | ||
iGrok
United States5142 Posts
legitimate question | ||
decafchicken
United States19900 Posts
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oBlade
Korea (South)4616 Posts
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decafchicken
United States19900 Posts
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AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 03:59 iGrok wrote: What kind of porn? legitimate question i don't really watch porn that often so i don't know categories. but i just visit one site and it involves this guy who does this massages for these girls and ends up having sex with them. it's guy-girl sex. no gay porn. no anal. just two people having sex. i'll admit the girls are pretty damn hot but i don't get feelings of love or start to like them or something.. if you guys really want the site, i can post it but i dont know if it would be ok. | ||
winter017
United States103 Posts
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Gleen
Brazil707 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:01 oBlade wrote: It's also possible to watch porn together. And it's better this way. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:02 winter017 wrote: Get her to watch it with you tell her to make some for you or... tell her its getting kind of boring and get her to try new things. Communication is kind of important :D honestly, we have great communication. and she said it's different when i watch it with her and when it is by myself! i don't understand... | ||
iGrok
United States5142 Posts
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iG.Zeep
Mexico253 Posts
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AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:04 iGrok wrote: Have you acted out the video on her? what do you mean by acted out the video on her? like try the moves from porn i watch on her? i don't really need to. it's not like they do crazy insane shit in the porn i watch. it's simple to be honest compared to stuff i have seen in the past. | ||
Megaliskuu
United States5123 Posts
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Ack1027
United States7873 Posts
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Gleen
Brazil707 Posts
sorry with my real shitty english... whatever, you have to talk with her and build her confidence that she enough to you... you just need to have some fun with your good old friend... right hand. | ||
Lemonwalrus
United States5465 Posts
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iGrok
United States5142 Posts
It sounds like you like these videos because they show the male seducing and/or mildly dominating the female. And if she's okay with watching with you, but not alone, she's concerned that ou don't find her attractive enough to seduce anymore. Basically, send her out one night to some bar/club, tell her you'll meet her there, and when you do, bust out the suavest, most seductive act you can. You know how women can be teases? You need to do kind of the same thing, but not too much. You need to act like you're meeting her for the first time again. It sounds stupid, but it works. Both for you and for her. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:09 Megaliskuu wrote: Just watch when you want, but tell her you don't watch anymore. EZ i'm not going to lie to her about it, if she catches me, i'll just get in more shit. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:10 Ack1027 wrote: lolursig if u r referring to mine, my username used to be g4t0r4d3 but it was changed because i got warned for it? idk why. | ||
Megaliskuu
United States5123 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:12 AyeH wrote: i'm not going to lie to her about it, if she catches me, i'll just get in more shit. Does she check your internet history? O_O | ||
Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
I can understand where she's coming from saying it's cheating on her. My last girlfriend was bisexual and asked me on several occassions if she could make out with another girl (sometimes right in front of me). If I had heard this from another person I probably would have shouted JACKPOT, but since I was emotionally involved with her I thought of it differently. Here's this girl I'm in love with who is just as attracted to girls as I am. So then, what's the difference between her kissing another girl and me kissing another girl? It never felt right, I told her about my issues with it several times and I finally found a solution in telling her that if she wants to kiss another girl it was ok for me to kiss her too! Some people take it a step further than me. Maybe she's concerned watching and fapping can turn into a gateway drug for cheating? Maybe she thinks your fantasies are a kind of emotional unfaithfulness? Whatever the case, it probably doesn't feel right to her. There's definitely another talk or two needed on the subject, but if your sex life is already going well what's the harm in letting it go? | ||
Jugan
United States1566 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:14 Megaliskuu wrote: Does she check your internet history? O_O use that google browser! it's like google stalker or something, where you can browse without putting anything on your history :D | ||
Gleen
Brazil707 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:14 Megaliskuu wrote: Does she check your internet history? O_O Look, there is another ways a woman can use to know if a guy watched porn or not. | ||
Sufficiency
Canada23833 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:14 Megaliskuu wrote: Does she check your internet history? O_O Obviously, the OP needs Firefox or Chrome with "porn-mode". | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:16 Jugan wrote: use that google browser! it's like google stalker or something, where you can browse without putting anything on your history :D she doesn't check my history. she doesn't live with me either. she's just so naive when it comes to guys and their porn.. edit: and yes, it's called google incgonito (cool name) and i do use it. lol | ||
nimrodel
9 Posts
sitting at a computer isn't even comparable to the experiences, emotions, and energy you can feel with a partner | ||
Gummy
United States2180 Posts
How lucky are you to have a gf?!?!?!?! Real people are better than moving images! | ||
Titusmaster6
United States5932 Posts
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DorF
Sweden961 Posts
I mean how the hell do you even work that into the conversation o_O | ||
Zerokaiser
Canada885 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:25 Titusmaster6 wrote: Honestly, tell her that's the way you operate, and if she REALLY can't handle it, then leave. Best case scenario is of course, that she watches with you. I can't imagine what priorities you have in your head that you would leave your girlfriend because she doesn't let you watch porn. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:22 nimrodel wrote: why don't you try being a gentlemen, treating your woman with respect and honesty, and utilizing some self control. these qualities are all sorely lacking in modern man. sitting at a computer isn't even comparable to the experiences, emotions, and energy you can feel with a partner i realize that and we have plenty of sex. but idk if you've been with the same women for many months but it can get boring. i can be a gentlemen, treat my gf with respect and honesty, have self control, and still watch porn, right? if you think you have to not watch porn to be a gentlemen, that is ludicrous. i have self control (i stopped watching porn for 8 months straight because she asked me to not watch it) and the only reason i started to again was because things were starting to get a little boring. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:27 Zerokaiser wrote: I can't imagine what priorities you have in your head that you would leave your girlfriend because she doesn't let you watch porn. i would definitely not leave her because she doesn't approve. she emotionally cheated on me with one of her ex boyfriends and i could've easily left her right then. i didn't though because i was willing to accept her mistake. but if she can't even accept this little thing from me, idk... | ||
sob3k
United States7572 Posts
BTW, if your GF can't handle you jerking it and potentially fantasizing about situations other than you and her, then: A. She's way too controlling and jealous and/or B. She's not comfortable/in denial with human sexuality What? She's never fantasized about anyone other than you? Gimme a break. If she can't understand this then get a smarter GF. On January 13 2011 04:27 DorF wrote: Why did you tell her that you watch porn ? I mean how the hell do you even work that into the conversation o_O Is it really that hard? I end up talking about porn w/ girls all the time, sex is fun to talk about. | ||
Reason.SC2
Canada1047 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:22 nimrodel wrote: why don't you try being a gentlemen, treating your woman with respect and honesty, and utilizing some self control. these qualities are all sorely lacking in modern man. sitting at a computer isn't even comparable to the experiences, emotions, and energy you can feel with a partner I think you're on the wrong forum. The women's network forum is that away ----> link Also to claim that sitting at comp is not comparable to real experiences is completely irrelevant to the OP's question or the topic. Also he should be a gentleman not a gentlemen. Unless he's into role playing. Then he could pretend that he's a group of guys and act out a bukkake with his gf. Who knows. Anyways thanks for the shit post nimrodel. lol What you *really* should do is find out why it is bothering her, (most likely some sort of insecurity or lack of confidence in the relationship), and address the root of the issue head-on. You could also try watching together. Either way just be open and honest about it, figure out why she has negative feelings towards it, and fix it. Obviously watching porn from time to time is not something a girlfriend can legitimately hold against you, (unless theres some cultural or religious factors which I am unaware of), so you'll figure it out dude. Communicate ^^ | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:30 sob3k wrote: I love that site. BTW, if your GF can't handle you jerking it and potentially fantasizing about situations other than you and her, then: A. She's way too controlling and jealous and/or B. She's not comfortable/in denial with human sexuality What? She's never fantasized about anyone other than you? Gimme a break. If she can't understand this then get a smarter GF. I think that site has one of the best looking girls... And she says she has fantasized about matt damon before and i'm sure there are others. she thinks that because it is in her head, it's better than me going on the internet and watching it. i don't understand her at all.. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:31 Reason.SC2 wrote: I think you're on the wrong forum. The women's network forum is that away ----> link Also to claim that sitting at comp is not comparable to real experiences is completely irrelevant to the OP's question or the topic. Also he should be a gentleman not a gentlemen. Unless he's into role playing. Then he could pretend that he's a group of guys and act out a bukkake with his gf. Who knows. Anyways thanks for the shit post nimrodel. lol What you *really* should do is find out why it is bothering her, (most likely some sort of insecurity or lack of confidence in the relationship), and address the root of the issue head-on. You could also try watching together. Either way just be open and honest about it, figure out why she has negative feelings towards it, and fix it. Obviously watching porn from time to time is not something a girlfriend can legitimately hold against you, (unless theres some cultural or religious factors which I am unaware of), so you'll figure it out dude. Communicate ^^ she does have issues with self confidence and her own appearance. and no matter how hard or often i tell her it is ok, she is never pleased with herself. she doesn't work hard to fix her own problem either though. like i said before, we communicate a lot, thus why this subject was brought about between us. she thinks porn is brutal, heinous, vile, disgusting, rough, and every bad word in the dictionary. it's just really naive of her to think that way.. | ||
OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
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Ronald_McD
Canada807 Posts
But if she's that upset over you viewing pornography, it's her job to keep you relatively satisfied to the point where you don't have to watch porn. | ||
sob3k
United States7572 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:33 AyeH wrote: I think that site has one of the best looking girls... And she says she has fantasized about matt damon before and i'm sure there are others. she thinks that because it is in her head, it's better than me going on the internet and watching it. i don't understand her at all.. So just ask her to explain why that's different. If she breaks down and ends up saying "it just is" or something similar, then tell her she's going to have to explain/figure out the situation better because she isn't being reasonable or making sense. Just keep on putting the burden of explanation on her. If she comes up with some sort of reasonable argument, then you can discuss. If she can't, then just keep asking her to explain why she feels this way. Eventually she will realize she is in the wrong or she won't be able to handle it and will probably run away. People can't handle cognitive dissonance for extended periods. If she thinks porn is terrible then you have to ask her why and make her actually think about it, because it sounds like she isn't going to do it by herself. I worked as a swim instructor for a long time and its the same way you get small children over their fear of diving and other skills. You actually engage them in a discussion of why/what they are afraid of, and talk about whether or not it makes sense. Use tons on analogies they understand. Of course they will still be afraid even after they admit to you that their fears are illogical, but if you keep the repetition up the brain eventually internalizes the more reasonable attitudes. | ||
semantics
10040 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:01 oBlade wrote: It's also possible to watch porn together. Yeah but it's such a pain to find porn that the gf will like. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:39 sob3k wrote: So just ask her to explain why that's different. If she breaks down and ends up saying "it just is" or something similar, then tell her she's going to have to explain/figure out the situation better because she isn't being reasonable or making sense. Just keep on putting the burden of explanation on her. If she comes up with some sort of reasonable argument, then you can discuss. If she can't, then just keep asking her to explain why she feels this way. Eventually she will realize she is in the wrong or she won't be able to handle it and will probably run away. People can't handle cognitive dissonance for extended periods. If she thinks porn is terrible then you have to ask her why and make her actually think about it, because it sounds like she isn't going to do it by herself. that's basically what i did with her last night over the phone but she keeps crying and i feel bad. i can't even watch porn without feeling guilty now. | ||
eNtitY~
United States1293 Posts
But seriously if she keeps complaining about you jacking off to porn tell her to make you some homemade porn then. Once you get a good collection of videos and pics going it will usually be better than porn. PS: It sucks you're already bored after 8 months. | ||
elmizzt
United States3309 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:39 sob3k wrote: So just ask her to explain why that's different. If she breaks down and ends up saying "it just is" or something similar, then tell her she's going to have to explain/figure out the situation better because she isn't being reasonable or making sense. Just keep on putting the burden of explanation on her. If she comes up with some sort of reasonable argument, then you can discuss. If she can't, then just keep asking her to explain why she feels this way. Eventually she will realize she is in the wrong or she won't be able to handle it and will probably run away. People can't handle cognitive dissonance for extended periods. If she thinks porn is terrible then you have to ask her why and make her actually think about it, because it sounds like she isn't going to do it by herself. I worked as a swim instructor for a long time and its the same way you get small children over their fear of diving and other skills. You actually engage them in a discussion of why/what they are afraid of, and talk about whether or not it makes sense. Use tons on analogies they understand. Of course they will still be afraid even after they admit to you that their fears are illogical, but if you keep the repetition up the brain eventually internalizes the more reasonable attitudes. The problem with this angle is that you are trying to logic your way into winning an argument that is 100% based on emotions and feelings for her. There's no cognitive dissonance here, because the female mind accepts "it just is" as a valid explanation for feelings. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:47 eNtitY~ wrote: Porn isn't cheating plain and simple, she needs to stop being so insecure about it because it also benefits her. It keeps your mind off doing stuff with other women to an extent, and if you're masturbating on a regular basis then you're also lasting longer which is good for her. But seriously if she keeps complaining about you jacking off to porn tell her to make you some homemade porn then. Once you get a good collection of videos and pics going it will usually be better than porn. PS: It sucks you're already bored after 8 months. i'm not really that bored of her. we just have sex A LOT... it's hard to not get bored when you have sex often as we do. lol | ||
sob3k
United States7572 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:45 AyeH wrote: that's basically what i did with her last night over the phone but she keeps crying and i feel bad. i can't even watch porn without feeling guilty now. Yeah, it can be rough but you just have to push past that part. The crying is really her trying to hold these two contradictory ideas in her head at the same time, its incredibly uncomfortable. Just remember to make the discussions as easy as possible, use lots of humor. Eventually she will see reason, or she will refuse to even discuss it. If its the second then that also solves the problem, because a person who refuses to think about and discuss difficult situations is the absolute person you do not want to be in a relationship with. | ||
sob3k
United States7572 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:50 elmizzt wrote: The problem with this angle is that you are trying to logic your way into winning an argument that is 100% based on emotions and feelings for her. There's no cognitive dissonance here, because the female mind accepts "it just is" as a valid explanation for feelings. There are very few people stupid enough to think "it just is" is a reasonable explanation for things, no matter what they say to other people. Its just not how the human brain works. If you keep bringing it up, they will be forced to resolve the issue internally through some means. Humans evolved as pattern/cause seeking animals, its from this drive that all our technology and knowledge about the world comes from. We learned to make fire because we weren't satisfied with "it just is", and the same basic process is what you're using in this situation. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
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Nokarot
United States1410 Posts
It may nothing to do with a girl being too controlling, it could be their self esteem. If somebody was too controlling, they would deny you the ability to admit that somebody other than them is attractive. I'm not saying its right or wrong to.. relieve yourself, but that you need to look through the eyes of somebody else before judging them. The world is seen through more eyes than your own, that's what makes people unique. Edit: Its funny how insensitive most of you guys are. People are not "idiots" for having opinions other than your own. There is no fact or fiction when it comes to this topic. | ||
sob3k
United States7572 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote: god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. Good decision | ||
CrimsonLotus
Colombia1123 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote: god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. ROFL... Not trying to be an asshole here, but to be honest the girl sound like an idiot, porn is cheating, WTF?, and then goes to a theologist for relationship advice, LOL? It must really suck if you have some serious feelings for her, but come on, in the end you're better off without her. | ||
god_forbids
United States111 Posts
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Rudiment
United States174 Posts
IMO if you like to watch porn, and you girlfriend won't let you, get a new girlfriend. | ||
palanq
United States761 Posts
work out an agreement where you pretend not to watch any and she pretends not to notice | ||
Ack1027
United States7873 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote: god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. Ask your girlfriend if she will go with you to the same teacher/theologist and get her opinion on her actually cheating on you. 2EZ. | ||
Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote: god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. 1). Even though she talked to openly religious people at an openly religious school doesn't mean she got openly religious advice (even though you can make that intuitive leap, I'd recommend against it --> if she brought it up you could blast her on the premarital sex thing anyway). 2). Teachers can't make you break up with someone. If they did then she probably went to the wrong person for advice. The whole point of giving advice is to give you a different perspective and help you reflect on it, NOT make the decision for you. 3). if I were her, I'd use the "you can't let go of YOUR thing argument too" 4). When it comes down to it, does it all matter that much? Evidently you don't think so, but I think you should talk to her and think about it before making a decision like that. | ||
Scarecrow
Korea (South)9172 Posts
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Thojorin
Germany162 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote: god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. I am getting the impression you are making this story up... seriously, talking to teachers about bf issues? I am sorry if your story is indeed true, and in this case i can only support your decision. | ||
Zidane
United States1683 Posts
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Herculix
United States946 Posts
what i think you should instead do is help her look at porn from a new perspective, as seeing how interesting other people's sex lives can be and how other people have sex. you need porn even though you have her because you guys will/have eventually hit a point where between the two of you, unique things are no longer happening. show her porn is how you two can inject interesting sex back into it, because you've admitted yourself that that's why you're watching porn. also, if she's actually just blindly listening to other people's insistance on what she should do with her life in terms of ending the relationship with you guys when that person has no clue how you guys are actually doing outside of this small issue, you should explain to her how immature that is. advice is offering a direction, not making a demand. | ||
koreasilver
9109 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote: god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. LOL just forget this girl. | ||
Herculix
United States946 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:30 Zidane wrote: It is kind of messed up tbh, but i guess guys will be guys right? Ask yourself this question. Would you be okay if you knew your gf was cumming to fantasies with OTHER men? both my gf and i watch porn alone and together and she regularly cums to it. i don't care whether she imagines me as the male porn star or her as the female porn star, because that's not reality. like i said above, that's an immature train of thought, and you're basically asking "aren't you immature in this way too???" maybe people are, but you shouldn't be, because it's silly. | ||
Live2Win
United States6657 Posts
From what I gather it seems that you believe that pornography is okay to look at and "enjoy", while she does not. Therefor either you will have to agree that pornography is wrong, or convince her that pornography is not wrong. If you are dating someone of Christian faith, and I mean serious faith and not just "I believe in God as long as it suits me" then you will have a problem. You will not be able to convince her to accept your view because this view is NOT acceptable in Christian belief. Pornography goes completely against biblical teachings. So really, you must now either get her to disband her faith, or you must become someone of faith and understand WHY pornography is viewed as wrong. Also I must warn that if you don't believe in Christian beliefs and she does, this kind of issue will be just the beginning of many to come. | ||
iSiN
United States1075 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:01 decafchicken wrote: Alternatively, tell her if you two film some porn you'll never have to even see another woman naked again even one you don't know on the internet. I like the way you think paco | ||
Telcontar
United Kingdom16710 Posts
Anyways good luck~ edit: oh and the porn thing. If you do reignite that passion with your gf and still find yourself craving porn, just tell her it's just a part of you. Either she accepts or rejects. That or if you love her enough to make some compromises, you can try and cut back or stop all together. | ||
Scorcher2k
United States802 Posts
Specifically, I wouldn't waste time on someone that cheated on me and you seem too young to try to deal with a girl coming from a high strung catholic upbringing. IMO, stay broken up, play whatever emo music kids play these days, go get a pizza with friends, and flirt like a mother fucker with the hot girl working in said pizza place. | ||
ludic123
Norway161 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:30 Zidane wrote: It is kind of messed up tbh, but i guess guys will be guys right? Ask yourself this question. Would you be okay if you knew your gf was cumming to fantasies with OTHER men? Well, after a while, isn't this to be expected? I mean, come on..Sorry, but if you think your girlfriend is ONLY thinking/fantasizing of you, then that is imho a bit naive. | ||
niteReloaded
Croatia5281 Posts
It's the fact that you're bored with your sex life and you're talking about months of relationship, not years. Something will have to change. | ||
Enervate
United States1769 Posts
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Djin)ftw(
Germany3357 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote: god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. xD catholic girls are the best, rofl. It's amazing what several years of indoctrination can do to a human being. €: i once had sex with a room mate. She came from a catholic family too. She said she never masturbated in her whole life (she was 24 or so, cant remember) and never had an orgasm. That was pretty sad actually | ||
Horrde
Canada302 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:02 AyeH wrote: i don't really watch porn that often so i don't know categories. but i just visit one site and it involves this guy who does this massages for these girls and ends up having sex with them. it's guy-girl sex. no gay porn. no anal. just two people having sex. i'll admit the girls are pretty damn hot but i don't get feelings of love or start to like them or something.. if you guys really want the site, i can post it but i dont know if it would be ok. lol 99% sure its fuckedhard18 or massage girls. I also have a gf, and it's roughly 1:1 ratio between sex and porn, but who cares. She is convinced that I watch porn and I think she would freak if she found "the collection" too... half the time she's in the right folder when shes on my comp, shes just too ignorant to show hidden files in the folder options. I should change that though, shes smart, and I don't want to have all that explaining to do... | ||
Railxp
Hong Kong1313 Posts
No. There is a reason why it is in the domain of fantasy and not reality. If you cannot distinguish that, and if you are seeking relationship advice from a puritanical institution of all places, then there are some serious issues. I am reminded of the HIMYM episode where they reference the Hot x Crazy graph. The hotter the girl is, the more crazy you will tolerate. XD | ||
bonifaceviii
Canada2890 Posts
Just don't get caught. | ||
vileChAnCe
Canada525 Posts
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gongryong
Korea (South)1430 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:09 Megaliskuu wrote: Just watch when you want, but tell her you don't watch anymore. EZ easy like sunday morning! :p | ||
darmousseh
United States3437 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:26 Servius_Fulvius wrote: 1). Even though she talked to openly religious people at an openly religious school doesn't mean she got openly religious advice (even though you can make that intuitive leap, I'd recommend against it --> if she brought it up you could blast her on the premarital sex thing anyway). 2). Teachers can't make you break up with someone. If they did then she probably went to the wrong person for advice. The whole point of giving advice is to give you a different perspective and help you reflect on it, NOT make the decision for you. 3). if I were her, I'd use the "you can't let go of YOUR thing argument too" 4). When it comes down to it, does it all matter that much? Evidently you don't think so, but I think you should talk to her and think about it before making a decision like that. She is a catholic and she is ok with having tons of premarital sex? Either means she is 1. not catholic or 2. confused. How do you talk to someone "Hi, i'm having sex with my boyfriend every day and he says he likes watching porn and that I shouldn't be upset about it" "Ok now, you know that you aren't supposed to be having sex before marriage right?" "Yeah, but isn't it bad of him to be watching porn?" "Yes dear, but you also..." "ok thanks bye!" Sounds like someone really confused or unaware. | ||
Krigwin
1130 Posts
oh boy, jealousy over porn is going to be the least of your worries. | ||
SkytoM
Austria1137 Posts
but if she can't handle it, it's her problem. | ||
Zlasher
United States9129 Posts
Imagine how the next 50 years will be. | ||
Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:39 Live2Win wrote: As much as I will regret putting my thoughts here, I'll put it anyways. From what I gather it seems that you believe that pornography is okay to look at and "enjoy", while she does not. Therefor either you will have to agree that pornography is wrong, or convince her that pornography is not wrong. If you are dating someone of Christian faith, and I mean serious faith and not just "I believe in God as long as it suits me" then you will have a problem. You will not be able to convince her to accept your view because this view is NOT acceptable in Christian belief. Pornography goes completely against biblical teachings. So really, you must now either get her to disband her faith, or you must become someone of faith and understand WHY pornography is viewed as wrong. Also I must warn that if you don't believe in Christian beliefs and she does, this kind of issue will be just the beginning of many to come. Whatever happened to "agree to disagree". Granted it won't solve the issue but it at least puts you on level ground... | ||
Kakera
United States419 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:22 nimrodel wrote: why don't you try being a gentlemen, treating your woman with respect and honesty, and utilizing some self control. these qualities are all sorely lacking in modern man. sitting at a computer isn't even comparable to the experiences, emotions, and energy you can feel with a partner NO On January 13 2011 04:24 Gummy wrote: Ur silly, bro. How lucky are you to have a gf?!?!?!?! Real people are better than moving images! NO On January 13 2011 04:27 Zerokaiser wrote: I can't imagine what priorities you have in your head that you would leave your girlfriend because she doesn't let you watch porn. The priority of not letting a crazy emotional wench dictate how you live your life. You can easily find a girl who is both fine and supportive of it, who realized simple human interactions and understands its not a big deal nor is it in anyway offputting. Just because she refuses to see logic he should sacrifice something? Ya ok bro, get back to me when you get a girl who tries to make you quit sc or whatever your poison is. Dude your interest in porn is kiddy stuff and explain it to her, in this situation you could totally watch it with her. The closest me and the wife have gotten to sharing porn is me giving her my websites for her own personal use. My personal tastes are nowhere near as vanilla as yours or my wife's. So I can't watch vanilla porn cause it does nothing and my wife probably wouldn't enjoy my stuff :D | ||
Shiragaku
Hong Kong4308 Posts
But due to all the different love lives in the modern world, it is up to the couple. Think of it this way, you are in a relationship and you cannot keep everything you want when you were single. But if porn is the biggest issue she has, then you should feel very fortunate. | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
Does she like, not masturbate herself? Wtf? | ||
psychopat
Canada417 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:28 AyeH wrote:i realize that and we have plenty of sex. but idk if you've been with the same women for many months but it can get boring. The part that struck me as the weirdest in all of this was the above quote. I dated my ex for 5 years and not once did I ever think that it was getting boring... Are you sure you love this girl? To actually be on topic, why does it bother her? Does she feel it's cheating on her? Is it a lack of confidence in herself? Lack of trust in you? Is it that she finds that it's degrading towards women (even though they make 10x the money that the men do and call all the shots, lol)? Is it against her religion? Some of these you can discuss and work on, whereas others you can't (like if she's a hardcore devout Catholic or something, although I kind of doubt it since you said she pleasures herself & has premarital sex too). Personally, I think that whether you're watching or just thinking about some celebrity/hot faceless body or reading stories, the emotional attachment is the same (ie: nil). I can see her being concerned if it's people you personally know, but it doesn't sound like that's the case... If she's thinking about Matt Damon like you said, that's just as much "emotional cheating" as watching random videos is so she's being hypocritical (don't tell her that in those words though!)... If anything, porn/solosex enhances a couple's sex life as long as it's done in moderation and isn't being used as a substitute for actual intimacy. Knowing your own body makes things so much simpler when you throw a second person into the mix. | ||
wxwx
527 Posts
Although I think that you shouldn't watch porn if you have a gf, and understand where she's coming from, I don't think she has a say anymore about the relationship because she cheated on you. If you're catering to her every need even after she cheated on you, she's eventually going to treat you like shit. Take this argument as a chance to stick it up to her and show her who wears the pants in the relationship. The fact that she's going to her teachers shows how devious she is. She's trying to become controlling over you, and now she's using the opinions of others as ammunition. Eventually she's going to win every argument and all the decisions will go her way, or else she'll threaten you with all her ammunition. If you don't teach her a lesson, it'll get out of hand. She'll start to threaten you with cheating, leaving you, etc. Please stick up for yourself! | ||
[Eternal]Phoenix
United States333 Posts
"Don't hate. Masturbate!" | ||
Pokebunny
United States10654 Posts
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sob3k
United States7572 Posts
On January 13 2011 06:57 Pokebunny wrote: Five pages and no one's asked for the site? I'm impressed, TL. Nah, its cuz we already know... | ||
bonifaceviii
Canada2890 Posts
Suffice it to say, Incognito Mode on Chrome is useful. | ||
Pokebunny
United States10654 Posts
Still, surprised no one asked | ||
GreatFall
United States1061 Posts
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Necosarius
Sweden4042 Posts
To the OP, as niteReloaded said, I don't think it's the porn that's the problem, it's your sexlife. You say you have sex a lot and it's getting repetitive. Tell her if you two live out some fantasies and work on getting better in bed, you will stop watching porn. If you just can't stop watch porn, tell her anyway. | ||
Frits
11782 Posts
On January 13 2011 06:30 Haemonculus wrote: She sounds really insecure. Does she like, not masturbate herself? Wtf? porn is the issue, not masturbation | ||
Frits
11782 Posts
On January 13 2011 07:06 GreatFall wrote: Many girls think pron = cheating for some reason. technically you're coming off watching another woman, i can definately see how a girl could consider it cheating | ||
Comeh
United States18918 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:09 Megaliskuu wrote: Just watch when you want, but tell her you don't watch anymore. EZ Definitely done this. I'm not sure what she thinks, or truly believes, but its worked out fucking great for 2 years, so I can't really say bad things about it. | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
But surely she browses some form of erotic material to get herself in the mood... yes? | ||
Roe
Canada6002 Posts
On January 13 2011 07:18 Haemonculus wrote: But surely she browses some form of erotic material to get herself in the mood... yes? maybe she watches gilmore girls and thinks of herself as Rory. then she dissappears in her room for a while. | ||
Quesadilla
United States1812 Posts
And I don't care who says what, porn = jealous girls. Straight up fact. And when you think of it, if your girlfriend was super turned on watching guys ram girls, I'd feel pretty odd about that and most likely reciprocate whatever she would feel towards me for doing the same. The neutral side of me also throws out a "wtf" when she cheated on you for real and complains about this being an issue. You should probably start fishing. | ||
DoubleZee
Canada556 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
There's nothing wrong with two people comfortable with porn being together. There is something wrong when one partner has to bury his or her feelings because the other won't compromise. Yes, both partners have a responsibility to compromise, but would it make you uncomfortable to give up porn? If yes, you have an argument. If no, you should just be nice and maybe bring it up next time you want something from her lol. (This is disregarding the other aspects of your relationship, as I honestly don't care. If someone cheats on you, you obviously are going to have trust issues for a long time. Maybe she is projecting her emotions onto you about this, but that's not really good discussion.) | ||
Xyik
Canada728 Posts
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HeavOnEarth
United States7087 Posts
On January 13 2011 07:18 Haemonculus wrote: But surely she browses some form of erotic material to get herself in the mood... yes? seeing how porn is 90% directed at guys probably not? | ||
ATeddyBear
Canada2843 Posts
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Cambium
United States16368 Posts
My GF doesn't care/encourages me to watch porn, she says it's less pressure for her... lol | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
On January 13 2011 09:34 HeavOnEarth wrote: seeing how porn is 90% directed at guys probably not? They may be the intended audience, but we can still enjoy it, lol. | ||
Brett
Australia3820 Posts
Personally I stop looking at porn when I have a gf; I save up all that energy for sex with her and it tends to be much better that way. | ||
KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
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alffla
Hong Kong20321 Posts
On January 13 2011 10:13 KurtistheTurtle wrote: put a bright blue wig on her. you'll want to tear her clothes off marge simpson? | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 09:34 ATeddyBear wrote: Are you both still in high school? i am not. she is about to graduate this year. we worked it out and she understands now. we made some compromises and i'm thankful for all your guys' help. it was greatly appreciated. the site was [mod edit] , i figured i might as well post it since i know many people are curious.. thanks guys. User was warned for this post | ||
KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
not if your favorite color is purple | ||
KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
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-Genome-
Australia156 Posts
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LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 13 2011 13:25 KurtistheTurtle wrote: wow thankyou for sharing that link. im not telling my gf I highly recommend the shoots from that site with Tori Black and Amia Moretti. | ||
eNtitY~
United States1293 Posts
On January 13 2011 12:40 AyeH wrote: i am not. she is about to graduate this year. we worked it out and she understands now. we made some compromises and i'm thankful for all your guys' help. it was greatly appreciated. the site was [mod edit] , i figured i might as well post it since i know many people are curious.. thanks guys. Ok new problem here is that you pay for porn.. | ||
Tony Campolo
New Zealand364 Posts
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Tony Campolo
New Zealand364 Posts
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Z3kk
4099 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:39 Live2Win wrote: As much as I will regret putting my thoughts here, I'll put it anyways. From what I gather it seems that you believe that pornography is okay to look at and "enjoy", while she does not. Therefor either you will have to agree that pornography is wrong, or convince her that pornography is not wrong. If you are dating someone of Christian faith, and I mean serious faith and not just "I believe in God as long as it suits me" then you will have a problem. You will not be able to convince her to accept your view because this view is NOT acceptable in Christian belief. Pornography goes completely against biblical teachings. So really, you must now either get her to disband her faith, or you must become someone of faith and understand WHY pornography is viewed as wrong. Also I must warn that if you don't believe in Christian beliefs and she does, this kind of issue will be just the beginning of many to come. Well, yes, but one is not supposed to have pre-marital sex if one is Christian anyway... :/ @OP: glad it worked out, I guess >.< | ||
lastmotion
368 Posts
On January 13 2011 05:07 AyeH wrote: god damn. she just texted me saying she talked to her teachers about the issue and they said that she was right, i was wrong. she goes to a catholic private school and one teacher was a fuckin theologist (bible person) and the other a catholic woman. she said that her teacher almost made her break up with me so i said fuck it, if you can't even bother to let go of this thing when i forgave you for cheating on me, you aren't worth sticking around for. all this was via text since she can't txt while in class. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. wait what? she cheated on you and you're taking this crap? omg what are you thinking.. she needs to back the fuck off and learn the position she is in (no pun intended, although it does sound funny haha) oh. the other poster who pointed out your sig meant it was ironic for you to have that sig. your sig sounds like a sexual question haha | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 13 2011 14:35 eNtitY~ wrote: Ok new problem here is that you pay for porn.. i dont pay for the shit bro. it's all available through torrents. :D | ||
Divinek
Canada4045 Posts
On January 13 2011 10:11 Brett wrote: Can't say I've ever had this discussion with a gf in the past... Personally I stop looking at porn when I have a gf; I save up all that energy for sex with her and it tends to be much better that way. Amen, resolved this issue in my head immediately. It's hard to imagine that one can have an adequate sex life and require porn, unless you go away for long periods of time or something | ||
Licmyobelisk
Philippines3682 Posts
LOL, why the hell did she ask an opinion from some dumb hypocrites? I was going to suggest you that she talks to an older woman (example would be her big sister that has a bf that watches porn as well, also ask the opinion of a male who usually watches porn) so that she would realize that is something that's very natural. Because I had the same state, my girl kept bugging me why the fuck do I watch porn and then she asked her sister and his brother-in-law about it told her that it's nothing that she should be jealous about and everyone is happy! Btw, I love sasha grey man! | ||
ArvickHero
10387 Posts
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
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Megaliskuu
United States5123 Posts
On January 13 2011 16:13 AyeH wrote: i dont pay for the shit bro. it's all available through torrents. :D Ok new problem here is that you download porn. | ||
Licmyobelisk
Philippines3682 Posts
So usually I want to know who's hot right now? I'm beginning to feel that my knowledge for the past few years have been stale. All know who are hot is sasha grey, bree olsen, brooke banner (she looks like she's been wasted now ) Alexis Texas etc. do you know any new and up coming stars? because all of the above I've provided are kinda stale now a days. I also like women who does interracial scenes since I consider myself black (no kidding man) | ||
Adeeler
United Kingdom764 Posts
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Deleted User 61629
1664 Posts
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DND_Enkil
Sweden598 Posts
I keep it really discrete, never when she is home, not leaving my pr0n folder on the desktop for her to see whenever she is at my comp, using different browsers for it and cleaning out internet history each day etc. She wont ever notice me watching porn unless she actively looks for it and she does not. It has worked out great, when the subject comes up she might give me the evil eye but it is not an everyday issue or anything that comes between us in our relationship or sexlife. In the end, people are different but for me it is about mutual respect, i respect her enough to not rub her face in it or similar and she respects me enough not to force her morals onto me and that what i do when alone is up to me. Would never live with any girl trying to impose her rules like that on me when i am alone. | ||
psychopat
Canada417 Posts
On January 13 2011 16:19 Divinek wrote: Amen, resolved this issue in my head immediately. It's hard to imagine that one can have an adequate sex life and require porn, unless you go away for long periods of time or something People have different sex drives. Relationships where both people have the exact same sex drive is not that common, as far as I can tell... Some people want it more than once a day, some people want it once a week, some people don't want it at all. Everyone's different. | ||
Hypnosis
United States2061 Posts
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Torenhire
United States11681 Posts
On January 13 2011 04:01 oBlade wrote: It's also possible to watch porn together. Do this, problem solved. Though my gf likes porn probably more than I do LOL. | ||
Cambium
United States16368 Posts
On January 13 2011 18:19 Licmyobelisk wrote: Okay since this thread is resolved: I would like to trade some knowledge regarding chick porn stars.. So usually I want to know who's hot right now? I'm beginning to feel that my knowledge for the past few years have been stale. All know who are hot is sasha grey, bree olsen, brooke banner (she looks like she's been wasted now ) Alexis Texas etc. do you know any new and up coming stars? because all of the above I've provided are kinda stale now a days. I also like women who does interracial scenes since I consider myself black (no kidding man) britney beth | ||
Megaliskuu
United States5123 Posts
On January 13 2011 19:49 Inori wrote: There's a website that streams all sorts of HD pron? A great | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 13 2011 18:19 Licmyobelisk wrote: Okay since this thread is resolved: I would like to trade some knowledge regarding chick porn stars.. So usually I want to know who's hot right now? I'm beginning to feel that my knowledge for the past few years have been stale. All know who are hot is sasha grey, bree olsen, brooke banner (she looks like she's been wasted now ) Alexis Texas etc. do you know any new and up coming stars? because all of the above I've provided are kinda stale now a days. I also like women who does interracial scenes since I consider myself black (no kidding man) Tori Black Jenna Haze Kina Kai Jessica Valentino Halia Hill Asa Akira | ||
sob3k
United States7572 Posts
On January 14 2011 04:25 Megaliskuu wrote: A great Maybe when I shared a family computer this applied, but DLing top quality pr0n is a wonderful luxury of adult living. Most of the good stuff isn't on any streamer | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
I guess I generally had the same thing to say. Conversation was me basically being like "You have porn on your computer?" and he was all "No, and if I did, you wouldn't be able to find it." And I was all "OMG SO YOU DO otherwise you wouldn't say that!" Anyway, I got him to admit what he was interested in, and that he does have it on his computer xD I asked him when the last time he touched himself was and he said it wasn't for a while. xD I believed him 100%. Anyway, I asked him if he ever watches it or anything and he said no. xD Awkward conversation ftw. It was cute though. =3 But I told him, I'm okay if he watches it. I just said, I'd prefer that you didn't, because you have me. So, kinda like what your girlfriend said, except she seems a lot more extreme. Best thing I can say, is just try new things. Have sex in different places. =P Idk! If you do the same thing over and over, it will get repetitive, obviously. My boyfriend said he likes to try new things, so. ^____________^ Yay. | ||
Deleted User 61629
1664 Posts
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Liquid`Drone
Norway28262 Posts
additionally, she needs to realize that, while you love her, not allowing you to watch porn (unless she at the same time offers blowjobs/sex at your whim with no additional demands from you) will lead to you getting pent up sexual energy (which DOES make it more likely for you to cheat), and it will be a nagging wound that contributes to worsening your relationship and your feelings for her. that generally goes for any sort of "you're not allowed to do that" found in any relationship though. | ||
Joroth
United States318 Posts
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AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 14 2011 05:12 Inori wrote: No, it doesn't. I am yet to find a website that streams the amounts and variety of pron in HQ quality I can get from torrents. So, what is it? A lot of different sites stream but most of them have low quality streaming. downloading porn (it's virus free, duh) from thepiratebay.org or kickasstorrents or isohunt is my thing. the clips are longer and not 5 mins each. you can also just search for a girl you think is hot and just watch her shit for a longer period of time. i used to watch streamed porn. dl'ed porn is far better. trust me on this :D only thing better about streaming is that there are no traces of it if you clear your history for the most part and you don't have to worry about viruses since most of the streaming sites now-a-days are virus free. enjoy guys | ||
Cambium
United States16368 Posts
On January 14 2011 06:28 AyeH wrote: A lot of different sites stream but most of them have low quality streaming. downloading porn (it's virus free, duh) from thepiratebay.org or kickasstorrents or isohunt is my thing. the clips are longer and not 5 mins each. you can also just search for a girl you think is hot and just watch her shit for a longer period of time. i used to watch streamed porn. dl'ed porn is far better. trust me on this :D only thing better about streaming is that there are no traces of it if you clear your history for the most part and you don't have to worry about viruses since most of the streaming sites now-a-days are virus free. enjoy guys We are way OT now, but anyway, I agree, DL'd porn is really much much better (esp HQ). Also, DLing porn from torrents is not much of a hassle, since a) HDD is cheap b) lots of seeders c) unless you live with your parents, there is never a need to hide porn Also, private porn trackers are 100x better. | ||
Comeh
United States18918 Posts
I can see where women are coming from and its understandable, but its really not a big deal generally. | ||
decafchicken
United States19900 Posts
On January 14 2011 04:36 LazyMacro wrote: Tori Black Jenna Haze Kina Kai Jessica Valentino Halia Hill Asa Akira I'm pretty sure all those girls have been torn up enough to drive a truck through there various orifices. hardly new and up coming. <insert coming pun here> | ||
Zlasher
United States9129 Posts
On January 14 2011 05:04 Raeleigh wrote: Well, I've talked to my boyfriend about watching Porn, actually. Haha. I guess I generally had the same thing to say. Conversation was me basically being like "You have porn on your computer?" and he was all "No, and if I did, you wouldn't be able to find it." And I was all "OMG SO YOU DO otherwise you wouldn't say that!" Anyway, I got him to admit what he was interested in, and that he does have it on his computer xD I asked him when the last time he touched himself was and he said it wasn't for a while. xD I believed him 100%. Anyway, I asked him if he ever watches it or anything and he said no. xD Awkward conversation ftw. It was cute though. =3 But I told him, I'm okay if he watches it. I just said, I'd prefer that you didn't, because you have me. So, kinda like what your girlfriend said, except she seems a lot more extreme. Best thing I can say, is just try new things. Have sex in different places. =P Idk! If you do the same thing over and over, it will get repetitive, obviously. My boyfriend said he likes to try new things, so. ^____________^ Yay. I can point out at least 3 situations in the short non-detailed story of yours, where he lied. | ||
Luddite
United States2315 Posts
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LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 14 2011 07:04 decafchicken wrote: I'm pretty sure all those girls have been torn up enough to drive a truck through there various orifices. hardly new and up coming. <insert coming pun here> Probably, but I honestly couldn't think of anyone newer. Then again, it's not like I follow the industry enough to notice or care. D: | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 14 2011 07:32 ZlaSHeR wrote: I can point out at least 3 situations in the short non-detailed story of yours, where he lied. And I assume you know my boyfriend better than I do, right? Makes sense. Cause that's the only way you would know differently than I do. Obviously. Sorry, but no. I'd appreciate it if you didn't indirectly call my boyfriend a liar. | ||
PanN
United States2828 Posts
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LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 14 2011 09:20 PanN wrote: The only reason a girl would care, is if she's insecure. And if a girl gives you an excuse like "but you have me!" tell her to grow up and ditch her. Any real adult wouldn't be so selfish, the guys been with his hand and porn longer than he has you most likely, so I have no idea why any girl would feel threatened. So if a girl shows a little insecurity you should dump her? Seriously? | ||
PanN
United States2828 Posts
On January 14 2011 09:27 LazyMacro wrote: So if a girl shows a little insecurity you should dump her? Seriously? I didn't say JUST because shes insecure. That would obviously be wrong, and no relationship in the world would work out. But If a girl is feeling legitimately threatened by girls that their guy masturbates to, doesn't care about, will never meet, and has no interest in knowing about them, yes, yes, you should. Imagine, If you so much as glance over another women, I'm positive you won't hear the end of it. | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
Two of my past boyfriends have shown me their entire porn collection, and I was amazed at how crazy well organized it was. The first guy was a bit of a book nerd, so I assumed it was just an eccentricity of his. The second time though, I sorta figured it was a trend. Do all guys organize their porn? I mean, it was organized by category, and then inside those folders, organized by actress. I was kinda amazed, lol. Alllll my shit is just plopped into a giant folder on my old laptop, (as I don't care how many viruses it gets now) | ||
PanN
United States2828 Posts
On January 14 2011 09:41 Haemonculus wrote: Somewhat on topic: Two of my past boyfriends have shown me their entire porn collection, and I was amazed at how crazy well organized it was. The first guy was a bit of a book nerd, so I assumed it was just an eccentricity of his. The second time though, I sorta figured it was a trend. Do all guys organize their porn? I mean, it was organized by category, and then inside those folders, organized by actress. I was kinda amazed, lol. Alllll my shit is just plopped into a giant folder on my old laptop, (as I don't care how many viruses it gets now) To answer your question, organized, definitely organized. | ||
Lemonwalrus
United States5465 Posts
On January 14 2011 09:41 Haemonculus wrote: Somewhat on topic: Two of my past boyfriends have shown me their entire porn collection, and I was amazed at how crazy well organized it was. The first guy was a bit of a book nerd, so I assumed it was just an eccentricity of his. The second time though, I sorta figured it was a trend. Do all guys organize their porn? I mean, it was organized by category, and then inside those folders, organized by actress. I was kinda amazed, lol. Alllll my shit is just plopped into a giant folder on my old laptop, (as I don't care how many viruses it gets now) I can guarantee you 2 things. If you were on my computer, you would NEVER find my porn. If by some miracle you did, you would find an organized mecca where you are never more than 3 obvious clicks away from whatever your heart desires. (unless of course your heart desires shit i'm not into) Edit: It is like a phylogenetic tree, but instead of chordates and arthropods, there are asians and blondes; instead of grasshoppers and bumblebees, there is britney amber and tara lynn foxx. | ||
Cambium
United States16368 Posts
On January 14 2011 09:41 Haemonculus wrote: Somewhat on topic: Two of my past boyfriends have shown me their entire porn collection, and I was amazed at how crazy well organized it was. The first guy was a bit of a book nerd, so I assumed it was just an eccentricity of his. The second time though, I sorta figured it was a trend. Do all guys organize their porn? I mean, it was organized by category, and then inside those folders, organized by actress. I was kinda amazed, lol. Alllll my shit is just plopped into a giant folder on my old laptop, (as I don't care how many viruses it gets now) I dump/dl all of my porn under one folder, along with all my other unsorted/seeding torrents. I never move them out because I'm always seeding my porn. | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 14 2011 09:40 PanN wrote: I didn't say JUST because shes insecure. That would obviously be wrong, and no relationship in the world would work out. But If a girl is feeling legitimately threatened by girls that their guy masturbates to, doesn't care about, will never meet, and has no interest in knowing about them, yes, yes, you should. Imagine, If you so much as glance over another women, I'm positive you won't hear the end of it. I'm not saying you're wrong as I understand your point. That kind of behavior undermines a relationship. My response would probably be more along the lines of trying to work with her on it. I'm saying I'd at least give it a shot before breaking up with her over jealousy. On January 14 2011 09:41 Haemonculus wrote: Somewhat on topic: Two of my past boyfriends have shown me their entire porn collection, and I was amazed at how crazy well organized it was. The first guy was a bit of a book nerd, so I assumed it was just an eccentricity of his. The second time though, I sorta figured it was a trend. Do all guys organize their porn? I mean, it was organized by category, and then inside those folders, organized by actress. I was kinda amazed, lol. Alllll my shit is just plopped into a giant folder on my old laptop, (as I don't care how many viruses it gets now) I'm almost tempted to take a screenshot of my folders now. Yes, mine is quite organized. | ||
Kezzer
United States1268 Posts
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crazeman
664 Posts
On January 14 2011 06:46 Cambium wrote: We are way OT now, but anyway, I agree, DL'd porn is really much much better (esp HQ). Also, DLing porn from torrents is not much of a hassle, since a) HDD is cheap b) lots of seeders c) unless you live with your parents, there is never a need to hide porn Also, private porn trackers are 100x better. Private trackers are amazing. it basically went from random clips to full blown dvd quality movies at super duper fast speed. The only problem I had was maintaining a 1:1 ratio because adsl upload speed blows and I can never leave the comp on for long back then. I pretty much ditched private trackers since streaming got popular. I used to collect a shit ton a porn on my HD but there's really no point since I never rewatch any of them. On a side note: Two of my favorite/old private tracker inexplicably disappeared a few days ago. After some digging on google, They closed/got shut down RIP | ||
sob3k
United States7572 Posts
On January 14 2011 10:39 Kezzer wrote: Nobody would EVER find mine because I don't have one. How come you guys need stuff on your computer? EVERYTHING is online, and it's completely untraceable. everything is not streamed, and we don't give a shit if its untraceable (which its certainly not). Its no secret we enjoy teh pronz, I could leave if right on the desktop if I wanted and nobody I know would care. Your statement is like: Nobody would EVER find mine because I don't have one. How come you guys need a car? you can get anywhere on the bus, and it's completely untraceable. | ||
Khenra
Netherlands885 Posts
What do you guys think? | ||
Hesmyrr
Canada5776 Posts
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Lemonwalrus
United States5465 Posts
On January 14 2011 11:23 Khenra wrote: My ex was ok with me watching porn, but she was uneasy with me masturbating to other women I know. I thought that was an extremely strange request as it limits what I can actually think about... What do you guys think? I think masturbating about people you know is thought to be an unhealthy habit psychologically. Also yeah I would agree that that is weird. | ||
koreasilver
9109 Posts
On January 14 2011 09:41 Haemonculus wrote: Somewhat on topic: Two of my past boyfriends have shown me their entire porn collection, and I was amazed at how crazy well organized it was. The first guy was a bit of a book nerd, so I assumed it was just an eccentricity of his. The second time though, I sorta figured it was a trend. Do all guys organize their porn? I mean, it was organized by category, and then inside those folders, organized by actress. I was kinda amazed, lol. Alllll my shit is just plopped into a giant folder on my old laptop, (as I don't care how many viruses it gets now) I never actually store porn on my computer anymore since the rise of the streaming sites. Even back when I did have porn, I never really organized it. I just threw it all in a folder and that was about it. | ||
AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 14 2011 11:23 Khenra wrote: My ex was ok with me watching porn, but she was uneasy with me masturbating to other women I know. I thought that was an extremely strange request as it limits what I can actually think about... What do you guys think? my gf would object if i masterbated thinking about girls i knew, like past ex gfs or her friends. she accepted the idea of me watching porn and we got past the issue. we have amazing sex (we get each other off mulitple times in one session) and i think beginning to watch porn again has helped me realize how special my gf is in a way (i'd rather not go into details) where i can be more passionate and enjoy the passion in sex with love that is missing in watching porn and masterbating alone. | ||
Tony Campolo
New Zealand364 Posts
On January 14 2011 08:40 Raeleigh wrote: And I assume you know my boyfriend better than I do, right? Makes sense. Cause that's the only way you would know differently than I do. Obviously. Sorry, but no. I'd appreciate it if you didn't indirectly call my boyfriend a liar. No, he simply understands men better than you do. You're an idiot if you think you can tell if your boyfriend is a liar or not. It would be the equivalent of a man with a girlfriend having no idea how she feels about certain things, which other women would easily be able to relate to. | ||
Tony Campolo
New Zealand364 Posts
On January 14 2011 13:45 Tony Campolo wrote: No, he simply understands men better than you do. You're an idiot if you think you can tell if your boyfriend is a liar or not. It would be the equivalent of a man with a girlfriend having no idea how she feels about certain things, which other women would easily be able to relate to. Take for example the way he replied to your first question: + Show Spoiler + Scene: You’re at a bar with your girlfriend and one of her female friends. It’s just past dusk and the crowd is small. Your girlfriend is animatedly talking with her friend while you are holding court with some cute girl sitting across the bar, shouting jokes back and forth at each other and with the bartender. You are mentally and groinally stimulated by the sight of the new girl and the fleeting thoughts that pollute your brain of seeing her naked. An hour later, the new girl walks over and sits right beside you on an adjacent bar stool, on the side of you that is facing away from your girlfriend and her friend. The new girl leans into your ear and quietly asks if the girl you came with is your girlfriend. You are able to answer her out of earshot of your girlfriend. Which of the following answers is most likely to earn the respect of the new girl? a. “Yes, she is my girlfriend.” Firmly said. b. “No, she’s not my girlfriend.” A lie, but still firmly said. c. “Um, yeah sorta, we’ve been dating. Not sure how serious it is.” You hesitate for a pregnant second before answering somewhat sheepishly, hoping that your diffidence will leave the door open for further pursuit and possible hooking up with the new girl. Second question. Which of the above answers is most likely to earn the gina tingle of the new girl? First, the answer to the second question is the same as the answer to the first question. A woman’s respect is identical to her sexuality, for a woman will feel no lust for a man she does not respect, and she will feel no respect, in anything but the most abstractly and pointlessly arid way, for a man she does not desire. Even if (c) is the closest answer to the truth, it is the farthest answer from what you think will help you fulfill your goal. If it is clandestine banging with fresh meat* you want, you will have more success answering (a) or (b) than you would equivocating your way through answer (c). For it is not the truth value of a statement that alerts a woman’s nether furrow that she is in the company of a man with an RSVP to her womb, but rather the boldness with which the statement is delivered. The above sounds counterintuitive to some of you. I know, because for the longest while, it did to me. How can telling an interested and curious new girl that your company is your lover move you any closer to a tryst than hinting to her that your company knows you in a complicated way but you are essentially open to cheating? Roissy Maxim #856: Swear by the HipandCooter oath: First, use no logic. Please set aside your woefully inadequate male logic when attempting to predict the direction of a woman’s rationalization hamster. That little critter will always razzle dazzle your feeble efforts. You must think like the hamster if you want to influence the hamster. Be the hamster. The wheel is waiting. Let’s examine each answer in detail. a. “Yes, she is my girlfriend.” Don’t for a minute think this closes the door to a future rendezvous. Since when have proclamations of fidelity by an alpha male, on their own, ever stopped a woman from pursuing her desire for him? No, the man himself, by his actions, must stay her hand and steady her flirtations. See: Tiger Woods. A man must, in other words, direct and lead not only his own actions, but the actions of the women in his orbit. A simple declaration that he has a girlfriend, curt and perfunctory, will only fuel a woman’s desire for him if his words are belied by his seductively charming warm smile and teasing banter. As all good seducers know, such unspoken mixed signals are the match to a woman’s tinderbox. Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue, and rationalization is the tribute guilty ginas pay to alpha cock. b. “No, she’s not my girlfriend.” Girls don’t like men who lie. Except when they do like them. Moral of the story? Don’t worry so much about not lying. Concern yourself first with winning a woman’s attraction. She’ll rationalize away the lies in the post-coital glow. If, after you have lied, you are later caught snuggling with your girlfriend in the bar, you have just upped your chances of bedding the inquisitive new girl. c. “Um, yeah sorta, we’ve been dating. Not sure how serious it is.” And here we arrive at the most beta answer. What you think she hears: “Hey, I’m dating someone super casual-like but I’m not sure she’s ‘the one’. Which means I’m totally available for dating you.” Sounds like a winning answer, eh Lothario? What she actually hears: “I’m a wishy-washy beta who’s dating a girl out of convenience and I’m hoping you could be the next girl I date out of convenience.” It is said of blind patriots that they follow “my country, right or wrong.” Well, for women, it’s “my alpha, right or wrong.” And what is a defining characteristic of alphaness? Boldness. Women love bold men, right or wrong. Women hate squirrelly men, like a man who would hesitate before weakly and apologetically confirming that the girl sitting right next to him is indeed his girlfriend. Boldness does not necessarily mean abandoning those other alpha traits that women so love, such as sly ambiguity and evocative mystery. But it does mean making sure you are never caught with the cat firmly holding your tongue. | ||
Durak
Canada3684 Posts
On January 14 2011 13:45 Tony Campolo wrote: No, he simply understands men better than you do. You're an idiot if you think you can tell if your boyfriend is a liar or not. It would be the equivalent of a man with a girlfriend having no idea how she feels about certain things, which other women would easily be able to relate to. I understand the argument you guys are trying to make but it's a little extreme. You're hearing a retelling of the situation from her point of view. If there were any subtleties in the "male communication" they would have been lost because she wouldn't have recounted them. You don't know her boyfriend; you're simply making assumptions. This isn't a useful discussion. | ||
Sufficiency
Canada23833 Posts
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Tony Campolo
New Zealand364 Posts
On January 14 2011 13:51 Durak wrote: It wasn't me who responded to her post, it was another poster. But I could figure from the first sentence when he indirectly answered her question by not really giving a straight black and white answer to her question when asking whether he had porn on his computer. Classic game: http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/common-shit-tests/ http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/good-examples-of-readers-passing-shit-tests/ Anyhow, I don't really care more or less about her and her boyfriend, it's silly for someone to get angry about someone accusing their partner of being liars over the internet, as if any offense can be taken. | ||
nayumi
Australia6499 Posts
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Deleted User 61629
1664 Posts
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AyeH
United States534 Posts
On January 14 2011 16:13 Inori wrote: Hayden Winters has gained popularity lately. really? she's not that hot.. | ||
Deleted User 61629
1664 Posts
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holynorth
United States590 Posts
On January 13 2011 07:18 Haemonculus wrote: But surely she browses some form of erotic material to get herself in the mood... yes? Or maybe the OP knows how to turn a girl on. | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
On January 14 2011 17:24 holynorth wrote: Or maybe the OP knows how to turn a girl on. I meant when she's alone. The quote tree conveyed that, no? | ||
Jayme
United States5866 Posts
On January 14 2011 13:51 Durak wrote: I understand the argument you guys are trying to make but it's a little extreme. You're hearing a retelling of the situation from her point of view. If there were any subtleties in the "male communication" they would have been lost because she wouldn't have recounted them. You don't know her boyfriend; you're simply making assumptions. This isn't a useful discussion. Most males aren't subtle. The guys wishy washy way of answering questions isn't subtle. It's misdirection sure but a girlfriend is less likely to see it for two main reasions. 1. She doesn't care or 2. It's what she wants to hear. I think every male on the planet has employed this tactic on a question you know is a delicate subject yes? | ||
Crazyeyes
Canada1342 Posts
On January 14 2011 20:28 Jayme wrote: Most males aren't subtle. The guys wishy washy way of answering questions isn't subtle. It's misdirection sure but a girlfriend is less likely to see it for two main reasions. 1. She doesn't care or 2. It's what she wants to hear. I think every male on the planet has employed this tactic on a question you know is a delicate subject yes? Well, I'd say that this part: Anyway, I asked him if he ever watches it or anything and he said no. is more than likely a lie. Unless I somehow misunderstood it. First he denys that there is any porn on his PC, then admits that there is [and its implied that its hidden well] but he doesn't watch it. Seroiusly? He has hidden porn on his PC, knows of its existance, but doesn't watch it? I can't spot the other two 'lies,' though. I would guess 'not for a while' would be one, but I could believe that... and then I guess the third lie would be the one that she cought herself? The initial question? Whatever. | ||
Pengu1n
United States552 Posts
honesty is the best policy..sometimes | ||
Dieoxhide
Denmark53 Posts
Wouldn't it be more sexy if you used your own imagination, you dirty boy? Think about it: You're in bed... You begin caressing yourself. Slowly. Gently. You feel your muscles bulging beneath your shirt. Touch them. Don't be shy. Feel them as they bulge. Deeper and deeper as you breathing becomes more and more heavy. You dream of a certain beautyful lady squeezing your firm, manly buttocks. Oh, the sensation! You're suddenly getting moist. Her hands are everywhere. God, is she really touching you there!?! Aiiii! "Please, mistress, not there!". RAMPAGE!!! Mmmm. Ooooh, yeah that's the spot. Do it. Dirty boy. Do it. Moar. MOAR! - Yessssss.... Like that? Just trying to establish a certain perspective here. All in good sport. | ||
Cambium
United States16368 Posts
On January 15 2011 02:49 Dieoxhide wrote: Maybe she just doesn't find it attractive that you jerk off to other women in front of your computer? Wouldn't it be more sexy if you used your own imagination, you dirty boy? Think about it: You're in bed... You begin caressing yourself. Slowly. Gently. You feel your muscles bulging beneath your shirt. Touch them. Don't be shy. Feel them as they bulge. Deeper and deeper as you breathing becomes more and more heavy. You dream of a certain beautyful lady squeezing your firm, manly buttocks. Oh, the sensation! You're suddenly getting moist. Her hands are everywhere. God, is she really touching you there!?! Aiiii! "Please, mistress, not there!". RAMPAGE!!! Mmmm. Ooooh, yeah that's the spot. Do it. Dirty boy. Do it. Moar. MOAR! - Yessssss.... Like that? Just trying to establish a certain perspective here. All in good sport. this made me lol so hard using the imagination is hard work | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 14 2011 13:45 Tony Campolo wrote: No, he simply understands men better than you do. You're an idiot if you think you can tell if your boyfriend is a liar or not. It would be the equivalent of a man with a girlfriend having no idea how she feels about certain things, which other women would easily be able to relate to. You're an idiot if you think you know what my boyfriend, whom I know better than anyone here might I add, is thinking. I'd appreciate it if you weren't such a dick. -shrug- Also, I didn't read any of your bullshit in the spoiler tag. Waste of time. Edit: Am I allowed to say the c word? I felt bad so I changed it. lol. On January 14 2011 13:51 Durak wrote: I understand the argument you guys are trying to make but it's a little extreme. You're hearing a retelling of the situation from her point of view. If there were any subtleties in the "male communication" they would have been lost because she wouldn't have recounted them. You don't know her boyfriend; you're simply making assumptions. This isn't a useful discussion. Thank you very much. Just because most of you guys are male, I understand that you know how a guys mind works better than I do. But, yet again, as I always bring up, not everyone is the same. Just cause one guy doesn't cry and is too many to do so doesn't mean another one won't. Just because half of you guys lie to your girlfriends about how often you touch yourself and how often you watch porn doesn't mean everyone else does too. I pride myself on the fact that the relationship I have with my boyfriend is different than the others I've had, because I'm 100% comfortable with him, and trust him with absolutely everything. He has told me that he feels the same way, as is completely honest with me, even if it's not something I want to hear. I appreciate that he is this honest with me. I don't think it's fair that I have guys telling me that my boyfriend is lying and that they, who have never met him, know him better than I do. On January 14 2011 15:21 Tony Campolo wrote: It wasn't me who responded to her post, it was another poster. But I could figure from the first sentence when he indirectly answered her question by not really giving a straight black and white answer to her question when asking whether he had porn on his computer. Classic game: http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/common-shit-tests/ http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/good-examples-of-readers-passing-shit-tests/ Anyhow, I don't really care more or less about her and her boyfriend, it's silly for someone to get angry about someone accusing their partner of being liars over the internet, as if any offense can be taken. I'm sorry I don't remember exactly how it happened and that I didn't post OMG PERFECTNESS ABOUT THE CONVERSATION! Again, randomly asking someone, "How often do you watch porn or touch yourself? :D" it a bit random. I'm pretty sure it caught him by surprise. -shrug- If you don't care, no point in responding like a bitch. On January 14 2011 21:05 Crazyeyes wrote: Well, I'd say that this part: is more than likely a lie. Unless I somehow misunderstood it. First he denys that there is any porn on his PC, then admits that there is [and its implied that its hidden well] but he doesn't watch it. Seroiusly? He has hidden porn on his PC, knows of its existance, but doesn't watch it? I can't spot the other two 'lies,' though. I would guess 'not for a while' would be one, but I could believe that... and then I guess the third lie would be the one that she cought herself? The initial question? Whatever. You guys are extremely ridiculous. I honestly don't see the point in you pointing out the fact that my boyfriend is lying. It's almost a bit rude, to be saying something like this, and basically letting me know that he's lying. Almost kinda home-wreckerish, isn't it? In any case, I have porn on my computer. Do I watch it? Nope. I haven't in almost 4 years. If you met my boyfriend, and got to know him, you'd believe what he said as well. /shrug Simple as that. Thanks d-bags! ♥ | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
While guys may understand the general male mind, that doesn't mean Rae's boyfriend is therefore lying. Furthermore, constantly telling her he's lying without merit or justification is pretty much bullshit. While I do think it's suspicious he initially told Rae he doesn't watch it, then admits to the contrary, it was probably just a white lie, or a half truth. For example, maybe he doesn't currently watch it, but would if he were single. That's how I was when I was with my ex. I had no desire to watch porn then at all. Had she asked if I watch it, I would've said no, too, despite having a large quantity of it on my HDD at home and having watched a lot before I met her. Basically, who gives a shit. If she trusts him, she trusts him. | ||
Zlasher
United States9129 Posts
I don't think calling us names and using the profanity is necessary when we're just pointing out what would seem to be quite obvious, even if you don't agree with it, you can say it constructively. Nobody here is trying to be a homewrecker, that would technically be a girl who is trying to split you two up for personal gain, but nobody is here to steal your boyfriend from you. Even if you have it on your computer and don't watch it that doesn't free your bf from doing that. He is a guy, we, as guys, know how guys think just like you are more likely to know how girls think than us in this blog. We don't need to call you any weird names because it takes away from the argument and really makes an argument look weak if you feel the need to resort to that. I'm not calling you an idiot or saying that your boyfriend is a liar like Tony Campolo was saying, but judging from what you said that he stated personally, and the fact that he has a dick, two balls, testosterone, and a brain, the likeliness that he was spitting 100% truth is very unlikely. Doesn't mean he can't be telling the truth, you can find out yourself, search folder, pictures and videos, find some, right click properties, last modified, done. edit: On January 15 2011 08:31 LazyMacro wrote: that doesn't mean Rae's boyfriend is therefore lying. Furthermore, constantly telling her he's lying without merit or justification is pretty much bullshit. I completely agree, did so when I made my post as well, it doesn't mean he's lying 100%, nobody knows that but the guy himself, but her justification for her reasoning compared to ours is no more reasonable. I suppose in the end its not worth arguing, so its fine. On January 14 2011 09:41 Haemonculus wrote: Somewhat on topic: Two of my past boyfriends have shown me their entire porn collection, and I was amazed at how crazy well organized it was. The first guy was a bit of a book nerd, so I assumed it was just an eccentricity of his. The second time though, I sorta figured it was a trend. Do all guys organize their porn? I mean, it was organized by category, and then inside those folders, organized by actress. I was kinda amazed, lol. Alllll my shit is just plopped into a giant folder on my old laptop, (as I don't care how many viruses it gets now) I used to be much more organized about it lol, like one of the repliers said, it was similar to the situation where, in about 4-5 folders I could find exactly what I'm looking for. Nowadays I care a lot less, Theres like two open folders with just everything stuffed in them, and then streaming folder with links to some good ones. I guess ever since streaming sites got more popular, it became less needed to be organized, since all the organization is done with a search bar right? | ||
Chef
10810 Posts
On January 15 2011 08:11 Raeleigh wrote: You're an idiot if you think you know what my boyfriend, whom I know better than anyone here might I add, is thinking. I'd appreciate it if you weren't such a dick. -shrug- Also, I didn't read any of your bullshit in the spoiler tag. Waste of time. Edit: Am I allowed to say the c word? I felt bad so I changed it. lol. You're not allowed to personally insult users in general (including calling people idiots). My advice to you is that you don't take defending your personal life on the internet so seriously We don't know your boyfriend personally. We don't know you personally. We don't know how perceptive you are. But when you say generic things like 'OUR RELATIONSHIP IS HONEST AND HE TELLS ME THINGS EVEN IF I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THEM' you're really not helping the case you don't need to make in the first place. | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 08:41 Chef wrote: You're not allowed to personally insult users in general (including calling people idiots). My advice to you is that you don't take defending your personal life on the internet so seriously We don't know your boyfriend personally. We don't know you personally. We don't know how perceptive you are. But when you say generic things like 'OUR RELATIONSHIP IS HONEST AND HE TELLS ME THINGS EVEN IF I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THEM' you're really not helping the case you don't need to make in the first place. If someone insults me, I'll do the same thing back. You treat someone how you want to be treated. -shrug- Lol, if I was taking this serious, there would be a lot less swearing and a lot more reason behind everything. Again, I just find it weird that random people on the internet have a better understanding of someone that I've spent more time with. Durrr. On January 15 2011 08:31 ZlaSHeR wrote: I'm not trying to point out anything that isn't obvious to every guy on teamliquid. From his first statement of, even if he did have it you'd never find it, it means he's the type of guy who has saved porn on his computer in the past. To suggest that he's never looked at it since the day he started dating you would be extreme. I don't think calling us names and using the profanity is necessary when we're just pointing out what would seem to be quite obvious, even if you don't agree with it, you can say it constructively. Nobody here is trying to be a homewrecker, that would technically be a girl who is trying to split you two up for personal gain, but nobody is here to steal your boyfriend from you. Even if you have it on your computer and don't watch it that doesn't free your bf from doing that. He is a guy, we, as guys, know how guys think just like you are more likely to know how girls think than us in this blog. We don't need to call you any weird names because it takes away from the argument and really makes an argument look weak if you feel the need to resort to that. I'm not calling you an idiot or saying that your boyfriend is a liar like Tony Campolo was saying, but judging from what you said that he stated personally, and the fact that he has a dick, two balls, testosterone, and a brain, the likeliness that he was spitting 100% truth is very unlikely. Doesn't mean he can't be telling the truth, you can find out yourself, search folder, pictures and videos, find some, right click properties, last modified, done. edit: I completely agree, did so when I made my post as well, it doesn't mean he's lying 100%, nobody knows that but the guy himself, but her justification for her reasoning compared to ours is no more reasonable. I suppose in the end its not worth arguing, so its fine. I understand, like I've said, that a guy understands how a guys mind works better than I would. But again, like I've said, you guys aren't all the same. There is no way you can know for sure. That's what I don't understand, is why you're making it seem like there's no other choice. Also, my post wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Sorry if you did, but, LOL.I wouldn't ever make a serious post on TeamLiquid that was meant to offend. Sorry again! | ||
Zlasher
United States9129 Posts
Theres a saying that everything that can be invented has been invented, that statement has as much ignorance as saying "Person X (regardless of a personal relationship with him) has never lied to me" because if he has, well, obviously you wouldn't know. I don't say I have a better understanding of your boyfriend than you do, but I have more understanding of the psychosis of a 17-20 year old male than you do. | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 08:47 ZlaSHeR wrote: I'm not insulting you though, I have no ill-will but you do towards me. It's usually not how TL works, the reasoning of insulting others for disagreeing with you, for that there are many gaming communities that love doing that. Theres a saying that everything that can be invented has been invented, that statement has as much ignorance as saying "Person X (regardless of a personal relationship with him) has never lied to me" because if he has, well, obviously you wouldn't know. I don't say I have a better understanding of your boyfriend than you do, but I have more understanding of the psychosis of a 17-20 year old male than you do. I never said you were insulting me. I wasn't even speaking about you or acknowledging you when I made my long post in response. /shrug | ||
Slayer91
Ireland23335 Posts
So, let's take a the hypothetical situation that, god fobid, your boyfriend jerks it and possibly to porn, just like 99%+ of all healthy guys on the planet many of whom are in a relationship. Now, you have made it clear that you DO NOT approve of him doing this. Now, if he stops immediately because he has total control over his desires, (lol) then everything is great, but let's delve into the situation that he DOES'T WANT TO (and possibly CAN NOT) simply just stop. I'll merge the 2 questions into 1: Girlfriend: "Do you jerk off when I'm not around and or do you watch porn" If he answers yes, you will continue to nag/hassle/break up whatever you intend to do about it, or even keep nagging him until he says "he's stopped" If he answers no, there's almost no way she'll find out and your relationship can continue on as normal. So, to get to the point, there's almost zero chance that you asking him has any effect on anything except for your own peace of mind. Which is what counts, right? If you don't think he isn't and you don't find out it's like he's not. Which leads me to my main point: (because we could be getting him into big troubl lol) WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE? It's not like he's going to turn down sex because he saw some giant plastic boobs for 5 minutes the night before. Honestly, what drives you to control him in what he does when you're not around? He's your boyfriend; he's not your slave. If it doesn't affect you or your relationship in any way why does it matter, it's not like it has an harmful effects whatsoever. Seriously, do you not want him to eat chocolate? Because after all, chocolate releases dopamine, which is released in sex, so he doesn't need chocolate because he has you! Therefore, make sure he doesn't eat chocolate. Put a webcam in his bedroom to make sure. What you seem to be arguing with Mr. Zlasher here is that you know him better, therefore you are right. You can only know someone to a degree, you can never truly know their mind .Therefore, you cannot be 100% certain about anything. That means statistically speaking you're wrong based on the number of guys that have porn and then computer and jerk it during a normal relationship. (maybe if you have sex more than once a day every day or something I dunno). This is because you asking him has no effect on anything because he will NEVER answer yes for both of your sakes because it will only lead to trouble. He doesn't want to struggle in the relationship because of some stupid bullshit. You're actually want to believe him as well because you don't want to struggle over some stupid bullshit. How about you just drop it and worry about things in life that actually matter? Thanks. | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
Or, who are you talking to? | ||
Slayer91
Ireland23335 Posts
Oh, I tend to edit my posts since I reread my posts and end up adding more instead of using the damn preview button, so it may have seemed incoherent if you missed like half of it. | ||
Zlasher
United States9129 Posts
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Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 09:23 Slayer91 wrote: Specifically you, but any women who think that causing trouble over stupid shit like this is a good idea for their relationship. I haven't fully read yours and Zlashers posts but you seem to be dragging into a something that is irrelevant so I didn't feel the need to. Oh, I tend to edit my posts since I reread my posts and end up adding more instead of using the damn preview button, so it may have seemed incoherent if you missed like half of it. Lol, I'm not mad if my boyfriend watches porn or jacks off or anything. If he wants to, he's more than welcome to. The basic point of everything was that I don't appreciate people saying my boyfriend is lying to me. You really need to read the posts. If my boyfriend really wanted to watch porn, that's great for him. I understand there are things I don't have that he may want to see. No big deal. Like I've said to him, if he wants to, he can go for it, I'd just prefer he came to me instead for satisfaction. =P I wasn't causing any trouble between me and my boyfriend about this at all. o: Our relationship rox some srs sox. | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
Obviously if I was dating a guy and he turned down sex for it, maybe I'd feel differently. "Nah babe mebbe later gonna whack it in front of the comp instead" But when we're apart... why would I care? I'll likely be doing the same thing. | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 09:14 Slayer91 wrote: What you seem to be arguing with Mr. Zlasher here is that you know him better, therefore you are right. You can only know someone to a degree, you can never truly know their mind .Therefore, you cannot be 100% certain about anything. That means statistically speaking you're wrong based on the number of guys that have porn and then computer and jerk it during a normal relationship. (maybe if you have sex more than once a day every day or something I dunno). This is because you asking him has no effect on anything because he will NEVER answer yes for both of your sakes because it will only lead to trouble. He doesn't want to struggle in the relationship because of some stupid bullshit. You're actually want to believe him as well because you don't want to struggle over some stupid bullshit. How about you just drop it and worry about things in life that actually matter? Thanks. Woah woah woah, I just read your post. Your ridiculous hospitality is absolutely not necessary. Statistically, sure, I may be wrong. The only point i'm making is, statistics or not, everyone is different. Meaning, sure, you guys could be right, and he's probably touching himself right now. But, you could also be wrong. I've already accepted what you've said and already knew that males know a male mind better than I possibly could. But, that doesn't mean that I don't know him better, that I don't know what he's thinking. This is what i'm trying to point out. I don't appreciate you guys calling my boyfriend a liar. That was my first problem, and the only problem I really had. I don't think it's completely necessary for you to say something like " How about you just drop it and worry about things in life that actually matter? Thanks." Maybe me and my boyfriend were having a problem, and maybe this did matter. Every argument you have with someone will just further strengthen the relationship. :/ On January 15 2011 09:47 Haemonculus wrote: I don't really see why it's such a big deal. I'm pretty sure most guys watch porn. Hell, *I* watch porn. Obviously if I was dating a guy and he turned down sex for it, maybe I'd feel differently. "Nah babe mebbe later gonna whack it in front of the comp instead" But when we're apart... why would I care? I'll likely be doing the same thing. But I DON'T care. I've already said that. Why is everyone making it sound like I'm SO ANGRY GRRR about him doing what he does? I'm not. I'm just saying, I believe what he says when he says he doesn't, and I feel I know him well enough to know that he wouldn't. Like I said, if he wanted to, that's perfectly fine. I'm not against it, at all. My biggest problem was that people are basically saying, "Your boyfriend is lying." It's not something I want to hear, especially when I am 100% sure it's not true. ;o | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
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Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 09:58 Haemonculus wrote: My post wasn't directed at you. I didn't think you had a problem with it, I was just throwing that out there, lol. oh, okay. xD /highfive | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
I think what this all comes down to is that a bunch of guys told Rae her boyfriend was full of shit because they, as guys, have an opinion of how guys are. Fine. But, Rae doesn't want to hear that her boyfriend is a liar, because she trusts him. So, she got defensive. Makes sense. But now it's just a bunch of back and forth. "He's lying." "No, he's not." "Yes, he is." "No!" "Ya huh!" "Nuh uh!" Shush. She trusts him. That's all that matters. The rest of us don't know, and we don't know her. We aren't a part of their relationship. So whatever. | ||
JackMcCoy
165 Posts
On January 15 2011 08:43 Raeleigh wrote: If someone insults me, I'll do the same thing back. You treat someone how you want to be treated. -shrug- So what you're saying is you want to be insulted? Well, I am nothing if not a gentleman, so I shall do my best to oblige. Madam, the matriarch of your family is so obese that the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3x10^8 m/s. | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 10:07 JackMcCoy wrote: So what you're saying is you want to be insulted? Well, I am nothing if not a gentleman, so I shall do my best to oblige. Madam, the matriarch of your family is so obese that the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3x10^8 m/s. Oh you ;__; that hurt, man! ^_~ I was gonna point out about the whole "treat others how you want to be treated" cause if someone's rude to you and then you're rude to them then others are gonna be rude to you you know? XD | ||
Slayer91
Ireland23335 Posts
LOL Anyway, your boyfriend is still probably lying. SUP!! On January 15 2011 10:07 JackMcCoy wrote: So what you're saying is you want to be insulted? Well, I am nothing if not a gentleman, so I shall do my best to oblige. Madam, the matriarch of your family is so obese that the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3x10^8 m/s. I'll bet you'd still like to be within her event horizon | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 10:11 Slayer91 wrote: I just realized I completely merged the OP girlfriend and Raeligh into one being. OK pretend I was responding to the OP's gf in open letter/rant --v LOL Anyway, your boyfriend is still probably lying. SUP!! Nope sry case closed kthxbai. I absolutely refuse to believe someone to was stupid enough to think I was the same person as the OPs girlfriend. GG | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
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Navane
Netherlands2690 Posts
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Masamune
Canada3400 Posts
On January 15 2011 10:31 Haemonculus wrote: Clearly the two of you need to perform some sort of ancient saiyan merging ritual and we can proceed from there. Haemonculus, I wish every woman was like you! You're responses in this thread are golden and you seem to lack that bitch quality most girls seem to be able to turn on like a switch. | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 10:31 Haemonculus wrote: Clearly the two of you need to perform some sort of ancient saiyan merging ritual and we can proceed from there. This seems like a good idea. | ||
Masamune
Canada3400 Posts
off mode User was temp banned for this post. | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:12 Masamune wrote: ^ *flick* off mode I didn't know I was being a bitch at all in this thread. LOL. But if you have a problem with me, you're more than welcome to send me a message about how my bitchy tendencies are irritating you so badly. ^_~ I find a bit unnecessary, to be honest, to point it straight out in the thread. -shrug- But do as you please. | ||
Slayer91
Ireland23335 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:12 Masamune wrote: ^ *flick* off mode The Bitch Switch. Wonder if it will catch on. | ||
Masamune
Canada3400 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:16 Slayer91 wrote: The Bitch Switch. Wonder if it will catch on. haha i like it! | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
On January 15 2011 10:55 Masamune wrote: Haemonculus, I wish every woman was like you! You're responses in this thread are golden and you seem to lack that bitch quality most girls seem to be able to turn on like a switch. Aw, you flatter me. But in all seriousness, I'm just a pervert. Still quite capable of being a bitch, and plenty capable, (and often do), of acting irrational. | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:22 Haemonculus wrote: Aw, you flatter me. But in all seriousness, I'm just a pervert. Still quite capable of being a bitch, and plenty capable, (and often do), of acting irrational. I'm not rich, I need to exercise a little more, I can't cook, and I'm probably bad in bed, but good fucking god please marry me. | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:29 LazyMacro wrote: I'm not rich, I need to exercise a little more, I can't cook, and I'm probably bad in bed, but good fucking god please marry me. I'd definitely say do it. This guy is legit | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:29 Raeleigh wrote: I'd definitely say do it. This guy is legit ^_~ | ||
LuckyFool
United States9015 Posts
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LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:34 LuckyFool wrote: Haemonculus is mine LazyMacro, shoo. GRUDGE MATCH 1V1 NA SERVER GO | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
I'll cast it, we're good to go. We'll need fan art and epic intros! | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
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LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:39 Raeleigh wrote: I'll cast it, we're good to go. We'll need fan art and epic intros! I like your style ~ On January 15 2011 11:42 Haemonculus wrote: Hahahaha, ruh roh. Oh baby, talk dirty to me. | ||
LuckyFool
United States9015 Posts
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LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:46 LuckyFool wrote: grudge match lol what are the stakes... winner gets haemonculus loser has to deal with the lifelong shame of what could have been? Sounds good to me ~ | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
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AyeH
United States534 Posts
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LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:48 Haemonculus wrote: LOL I'm suddenly kinda uncomfortable with where this thread is going, o.o Don't worry, I'll make it all better. :3 | ||
LuckyFool
United States9015 Posts
I am suddenly reminded of a scene from one of the best cartoon movies from my childhood: | ||
A3iL3r0n
United States2196 Posts
Pwned. | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:54 LuckyFool wrote: Haemonculus it looks like u have a lover here. I am suddenly reminded of a scene from one of the best cartoon movies from my childhood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDWnuddCf0E Adorable~~~ | ||
iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
On January 15 2011 11:54 LuckyFool wrote: Haemonculus it looks like u have a lover here. I am suddenly reminded of a scene from one of the best cartoon movies from my childhood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDWnuddCf0E I loved that movie, and that scene especially too. So cute! For some reason, my dad was obsessed with "The Jungle Book", and always wanted us to watch it. Must have been his childhood movie or something, but I never liked it, lol. Sword in the Stone so much better! | ||
7mk
Germany10156 Posts
On January 15 2011 09:48 Raeleigh wrote: Every argument you have with someone will just further strengthen the relationship. :/ lol, if only | ||
Zlasher
United States9129 Posts
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Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
In my experience, this is what has happened. Of course, there have been relationship-ending arguments as well. =P | ||
Pokebunny
United States10654 Posts
Hi Haemonculus. I'm a virgin and 15. Fix that? | ||
Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
On January 15 2011 12:57 Pokebunny wrote: Oh what, a girl up for grabs? This can't happen without me here. Hi Haemonculus. I'm a virgin and 15. Fix that? Seriously? Haven't you humiliated yourself in another thread enough? | ||
Lemonwalrus
United States5465 Posts
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Pokebunny
United States10654 Posts
On January 15 2011 13:02 Haemonculus wrote: Seriously? Haven't you humiliated yourself in another thread enough? Hahaha. Totally kidding :< | ||
Cambium
United States16368 Posts
On January 15 2011 13:02 Haemonculus wrote: Seriously? Haven't you humiliated yourself in another thread enough? LOL Oh poke, you are so cute. | ||
MrHoon
10183 Posts
But after months of free looting, I eventually I told the GM I was MrHoon He proceeded to kick me out of the guild and told me he was "sorry and didn't know you had a husband" pokerface.jpeg On topic, I kept my porno life semi open to my gf. Whenever there would be a sex scene on TV I would take the remote away and make a emotionless face and tell her "This is healthy for the both of us" for laugh. But I haven't told her I have a 500gb JAV porno collection. Why don't you just get an external hard drive? You can hide it easily and doesn't leave a mess | ||
Raeleigh
Canada902 Posts
On January 15 2011 13:30 MrHoon wrote: when I was in highschool, I acted like a girl in WoW to get free raid loot But after months of free looting, I eventually I told the GM I was MrHoon He proceeded to kick me out of the guild and told me he was "sorry and didn't know you had a husband" pokerface.jpeg On topic, I kept my porno life semi open to my gf. Whenever there would be a sex scene on TV I would take the remote away and make a emotionless face and tell her "This is healthy for the both of us" for laugh. But I haven't told her I have a 500gb JAV porno collection. Why don't you just get an external hard drive? You can hide it easily and doesn't leave a mess I thought you meant you were a porn star.. LOL. I was like "damn!" xD | ||
meaculpa
United States119 Posts
"Tell her to accept your porn habit or dump her". Don't you people have social skills? I don't recall any situation in life where through reason, clear argumentation and statistics I was able to convince somebody to change his or her mind. That's just not how people work. If they believe something, it's going to take a while to get them to change their mind, usually through indirect methods. Simplest solution that almost nobody mentioned is this: watch porn, don't tell her. Even if you can get her to verbally acknowledge that you watching porn is OK, that doesn't mean she's truly accepted it. It's like if your girlfriend farts. You know it's natural, you know 100% of girls fart, but it does make you uncomfortable thinking about how you heard and smelled your gf's fart. It's not rational but who ever said attraction is rational? | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 15 2011 13:33 Raeleigh wrote: I thought you meant you were a porn star.. LOL. I was like "damn!" xD Best job ever? | ||
Phrost
United States4008 Posts
wtf how did you get out of the scv icon and noobville? also he wasnt kidding edit: btw poke, offering yourself is statutory rape in most places | ||
Cambium
United States16368 Posts
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=180931 | ||
LazyMacro
976 Posts
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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