EPThere's how i know i'm not a superhero: i got kicked out of a cult and nothing really changed in my life. i was too dramatic and annoying and didn't smile enough at the temple or seminary or whatever -- it was like, "how do you solve a problem like christina? let's yeet her some money to get a bus ticket out of state." it wasn't an exciting, sexy cult; it was basically sunday school with brown people gods, and i say that as someone who grew up in the Korean presbyterian church.
so anyway, i thought I'd have a book deal and the cult would be totally imploded by now due to my sheer audacity, but nope. This is because I really misunderstood cults. I'm not saying that there aren't crazy orgies and brainwashing rituals or whatever you want to call it, but that's just the stuff Hollywood uses to get eyeballs on documentaries. the problem is that everyone in a cult is a wannabe spiritual world saving hero like me, and no amount of logic and reason is going to change the fact that most people aren't interested in the astral plane or mysterious higher powers. we have the fed and the weather channel. that's sufficient. i was a thirtysomething year old woman on the streets of new orleans trying to pass out spiritual pamphlets in a hyper modest pink dress, and nobody was interested, and I kept going at the cost of my poor feet.
Was it worth it? Well, yes and no. I didn't go into debt, thank god, because I have the whole rest of my life to do that now that i'm on the outside. i really could've read the books online at home and probably gotten the same understanding eventually. i guess what i'm saying is, it was an uncomfortable mirror into my own motivations, and it was terrifying in a way, but i'm glad i got to see a part of who i am that i would not have otherwise. Honestly though, doing stand up is pretty close. and now I get to spam my former cult colleagues and try to get them to see all the great stuff they're missing out on, and i really feel like i'm saving the world.
