Well..once i thought my grandma was gone..s o i yanked it out to make time to jack it while she was gone..didnt lock the door or anything mind you. Just as im about to cum everywhere i hear crack crack and the door opens. I fly up out of my chair and nearly hit the floor. Shes like "The fuck?" so i naturally go uh.."can you get me a drink please?" so she does and then i put my dick away..and it was like nothing happened.

btw : dick tent LOLOL

DanceCommander

United States1808 Posts

July 19 2008 09:15 GMT

#82

I still hate her friend to this very day lol

AltaiR_

Korea (South)922 Posts

July 19 2008 09:29 GMT

#83

90% of guys masturbate, the other 10% are LYING. *glares at the 7 who say i dont jerk off*

.MistiK

Netherlands347 Posts

July 19 2008 09:33 GMT

#84

I've had so many close calls. it's unbelievable that i never got caught.

Sze-Yuen

Canada23 Posts

July 19 2008 09:43 GMT

#85

lolz. love the storys.
btw. im imba at not getting chaught. :D

blagoonga123

United States2068 Posts

July 19 2008 10:13 GMT

#86

lol 7 people are lying.

_Grazze_

834 Posts

July 19 2008 10:24 GMT

#87

HAHA Day[9], that's so hilarious !

Ontopic: Nope!

Live2Win

United States6657 Posts

July 19 2008 11:53 GMT

#88

hmmmm not really jerking off, but one time...

I was lying in the upstairs living room while everyone was downstairs, was feeling a bit drowzy and frisky. I started to fantasize and slowly get a boner. I'm still a bit "sleepy" at this point so without thinking I whip out my penis, and my sister goes "WOAH!". I look up and she'd just gotten up the stairs and for some reason I didn't hear her and I was like "WOOOAH!!!"

awkward.....

ToT)OjKa(

Korea (South)2437 Posts

July 19 2008 11:54 GMT

#89

i've nearly been caught a few times. I always think to myself that if i'm just caught once by a family member, then its just like...ahhh fuck.

Luckily i know my family's movement patterns and i always wear a baggy t-shirt or something when i do the act, so if my door were to open, i could quickly flump it over

iNdecent

Sweden38 Posts

July 19 2008 11:57 GMT

#90

I dunno if it counts, but one time me and my ex-girlfriend were visiting my mother. She works at a motel/hotel. So she has this little apartment there. After we ate dinner my mother asked us if we wanted to go downstairs to the motels living room and see if there was anything that could entertain us.

So we went down. This room is pretty huge with pool table, tv, coffee machines and lotsa stuff. But there was this couch that had its back turned to the entrance. We were not really in the mood to play any pool so we sat down in the couch instead. There we ended up laying down and mastubating eachother. Then after awhile we hear someone saying. "Is someone here?" So both me and my ex immediately looks up by reaction and see what it is. Then theres this kindergarden group giggling and their coaches. They stare at my untied shirt, my ex in just her bra and our arms angled towards our intimate parts.
The kids just giggles and the coaches is like "oh do you know where this reception is?"

Bah wtf, my mother told us there was no guest there!

251

United States1401 Posts

July 19 2008 12:48 GMT

#91

Okay this has to be posted here:

How many people here have kept brood war open and alt-tab at the ready while looking at porn?

And be honest. Talk about the ultimate alibi because lets face it, your whole family knows you play it all the damn time. Should share stories of "Starcraft saves".

Nightmarjoo

United States3359 Posts

July 19 2008 12:48 GMT

#92

I hate you guys. I just got my wisdom teeth removed and it hurts like hell to open my mouth at all, much less widely. And naturally, I'm laughing my ass off -_-

I haven't been caught, but I've had several close-calls. I always fap at my desk (where the computer is, imagine that), and it's a big/heavy desk, so I can just scoot my chair in real fast so that no one who wasn't like inspecting me could possibly notice while quickly minimizing. I think it still looks suspicious/somewhat awkward, but whatever. Often I'll like open up windows media player and just be "browsing" through my music lol.

Ry-Masta-T

United States478 Posts

July 19 2008 13:22 GMT

#93

Once, I was checking on redtube, you know, doing my thing. It's like midnight, I'm facing my laptop, which is on the table in front of me. Anyways, I'm climbing jacob's ladder and out of nowhere I hear "Ry-Masta-T's name.... sigh... go to bed."

Not only was it like shit, I got caught, but because I was so paranoid about getting caught and it was like midnight, I almost shit myself when my mom started talking. BAD experience.

Frits

11782 Posts

July 19 2008 13:27 GMT

#94

Just a close call once when I was at a girl downstairs masturbating eachother and suddenly her dad comes down the stairs (this was at 3 fucking am) and just when my heart is about to stop and I think he's gonna walk in the room I hear "GO TO BED ALREADY". Jesus christ I wonder what would've happened if he decided to walk a few steps further, I was about to explode too so I was just standing there naked in the middle of the room panicking not really able to find my clothes except for 1 goddamn sock (on second thought I could've just put that around my boner).

Dyllyn

Singapore670 Posts

July 19 2008 13:30 GMT

#95

On July 19 2008 21:48 251 wrote:
Okay this has to be posted here:

How many people here have kept brood war open and alt-tab at the ready while looking at porn?

And be honest. Talk about the ultimate alibi because lets face it, your whole family knows you play it all the damn time. Should share stories of "Starcraft saves".

i've been doing this shit since i was 9 and i've never been caught by anyone lol.

TONS of close calls tho. But the alt tab SC saves me all the time

Krohm

Canada1857 Posts

July 19 2008 13:34 GMT

#96

I made a blog about this a while ago. Didn't get much response, I really should of threw in the general forum.

But yes I have been caught, my friends always came up to my window to see if I was home when I was younger, and one time I was savagely beating myself when one of my friends decided to stop by. I didn't realize he caught me until months later. Meh it never really was a big deal for some reason. Yet when me and my friends caught my other friend jacking off, we totally shunned him.

_Grazze_

834 Posts

July 19 2008 13:34 GMT

#97

On July 19 2008 22:27 Frits wrote:
Just a close call once when I was at a girl downstairs masturbating eachother and suddenly her dad comes down the stairs (this was at 3 fucking am) and just when my heart is about to stop and I think he's gonna walk in the room I hear "GO TO BED ALREADY". Jesus christ I wonder what would've happened if he decided to walk a few steps further, I was about to explode too so I was just standing there naked in the middle of the room panicking not really able to find my clothes except for 1 goddamn sock (on second thought I could've just put that around my boner).

Were you using this?