We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On January 05 2013 21:42 Kyrillion wrote: France is the country where love is a national sport, or so I've heard. Of course French youngsters are scared of asking girls out, the expectations of ladies must be so insane.
:D
Ah the myth of the french lover ! Very effective in every country but France.
On January 05 2013 19:58 Kyrillion wrote: That was also posted a few pages ago. Cracked must have hit the spot with that famous article.
Edit : actually not, a mediocre article. I can't see why people would laud that but blame drow for spouting nonsense.
Yeah, I don't necessarily agree with most of it; I think he is kind of wishy-washy in some aspects. In one sentence he's telling you that you are your job (i.e. the money you make), and in the next he's telling you it's not all about your job and the money you make, but what you do overall... but point three is very true, imo. Regardless of what validity any other part of that article has, point three is absolutely true.
You don't have to be a millionaire, or a NY Times best-selling author, or anyone that is generally regarded as "important" in today's world (because almost all of those people are rich), but you have to be interesting, and you have to do what you love (it helps if you also love your job). If what you love to do is helping kids, or counseling teenagers, or something else that's equally good to do, but doesn't make much money, then that's fine. If you're a janitor, but you spend your time off going on road trips, and... idk, mountain biking through the country, that's cool too (in fact, the first two things combined was getting a friend of mine a lot of ass for a while... he doesn't seem to believe in relationships... he still gets loads of women, but he's moved on from his janitorial duties). Those things make you an interesting person to talk to, and to be around. People gravitate toward interesting people... so be interesting.
It was actually in talking to my friend that I referenced in the parenthetical statement that made me realize WHY he got women more than me. He's not significantly better looking than me (I think I'm better looking), and he doesn't make more money, wear nicer clothes, drive a nicer car, etc... yet women love this guy. Why? HE DOES THINGS! I looked through his FB pictures, and he's got pictures of his times in Cali, in Vegas, hiking through the Rockies, New York and so on. He does cool shit, so he has stories to tell, which means he has something to talk about. Me? I can talk about football, and... uhh... video games? And, imo, therein lies the difference.
The thing about facebook is, well, it's only facebook. A lot of people say that I don't post much on facebook (which is true, I don't have a lot of pictures and I'm very selective in those I do put online) but that's a conscious decision. I don't want to have my life on display on the internet. If you want to get to know me, talk to me. Facebook is great to stay in touch with people, but it's by no means a replacement for real human-to-human contact. I've noticed that a lot of people who sound very confident and open on facebook can be totally different if you talk to them face to face. I used to be like that as well. If you want to get to know me, talk to me.
Wow, you took the wrong thing out of there. I don't put up pictures because of the same reasons (I don't care if other people can see what I'm doing). The point is that he does things. The sentences following the FB comment is the important part, "he does cool shit, so he has stories to tell, which means he has something to talk about." Note that I never, prior to this post, commented on my FB pictures (or lack thereof).
On January 05 2013 11:33 r.Evo wrote: Maybe they met online, fell in love and greeted each other with a kiss the first time, skipping the "dating process". GG.
This. More exactly, we met online on some sort of roleplay-based website with an UI (you can make actions with your character on the UI and make roleplay on forums or IRC based on what your character do), and my character married her one. We had some roleplay on IRC, then we started to talk "normally" (i.e no roleplay) on IRC, MSN, etc... We texted a lot, she had free and unlimited calls from 9pm to 12pm almost everyday so we were on phone almost everyday. One day (maybe one year and a half later) I told her my feelings (basiccaly that I loved her), we met maybe 1 or 2 months later, and instead of the "hey how are you blablabla" stuff, bam, we kissed. 6 years in 2 months.
And yep, my english is shit sometimes.
all the way through I would be thinking that I was being trolled
I would say something like "who commits to something like that for over two years?" Then I remember Zia.
Yeah the important thing is that he has these experiences and stories to put on facebook in the first place, not that he actually puts them on facebook. That's a personal choice and another matter.
On January 05 2013 21:42 Kyrillion wrote: France is the country where love is a national sport, or so I've heard. Of course French youngsters are scared of asking girls out, the expectations of ladies must be so insane.
:D
Ah the myth of the french lover ! Very effective in every country but France.
I fell for a girl who was really crazy, and had 2 kids! ^^
This girl could do some crazy shit, specially when drunk, mostly (i think) becuase she was eating Benzo at the time (very strong anti-depressant) so she would roll around on the floor and say that she hated me one second, and the next making out with me like a lunatic.
We only dated for a little while and I fell soooooooooooooooooooooo deeply in love with her, mostly because she was so fucked up haha :D Also I just loved her kids so much! They would sometiems sit right next to me and be like "Can you read us a story?" And be just so cute as kids can be! (girls 2 and 4 yrs old)
Anyways as you might expect it ended with me very very heart broken and she found some other guy shortly after.
As a revenge I decided to have a go at her younger sister, who was clearly showing me some signs. Long story short, the younger sister invited me to a party, where we made out and her guy friend got really angry and almost beat me up (we were at his place) I didnt go for the fight and then he just took her and put her on his lap, and she sort of fell asleep. Lol im such a pussy sometiems
Anyways im completely done with that crazy family..................................
As a revenge I decided to have a go at her younger sister, who was clearly showing me some signs. Long story short, the younger sister invited me to a party, where we made out and her guy friend got really angry and almost beat me up (we were at his place) I didnt go for the fight and then he just took her and put her on his lap, and she sort of fell asleep. Lol im such a pussy sometiems
Wtf hahaha.
To be honest i think most people had already such kind of crazy girl on their life, and if they haven't, they should. Gives you a lot of perspective to value when a girl is being crazy or just over dramatic.
Hm, I only fell in love once with a girl when I was around 15. She was a rather popular girl. Tried to spend time with her etc. and all went well for around one month. When I tried to confess to her she thought it would be funny to ridicule me for it and made her other friends pick on me for the rest of my school time. People made fun of me for quite a long time. Well it didn't really bother me that much but ever since then I was never really interessted in dating and relationships ever again. Now I'm 25. So I guess my dating luck was rather non existing, so to speak...
I was never very successful at dating itself. I have so many crazy stories of things that happened on dates. Because of that I feel fortunate that I've never had any long periods of dating.
On January 06 2013 00:45 Hug-A-Hydralisk wrote: My parents are gay and they're making me commute to school this year and I work at the same time. My dating life is non existent.
If you dont have time to go out to meet girl. Use online services.
Well... maybe not if you're really young; in my experience online dating works fine above 25 but is kinda meh below 25.
On January 05 2013 21:42 Kyrillion wrote: France is the country where love is a national sport, or so I've heard. Of course French youngsters are scared of asking girls out, the expectations of ladies must be so insane.
:D
Ah the myth of the french lover ! Very effective in every country but France.
It is also very effective in France... with foreign students/tourists
In my opinion nothing is worse than a guy who lacks confidence
I was on a date once with this guy who seemed to be really insecure the whole time. He was really quiet, did not talk much and in an awkward moment took my hand which made the moment even more awkward ... I had felt like I had to carry the entire conversation and was not that pleased with the date. So at the end of the date he asked me how I felt about the day. We actually had known each other for a long time already online and had skyped regularly (he had never been this shy and quiet then) but this had been the first meeting face to face. He said that he wanted to know the truth about whether I liked the date. So I said that it had been nice but that I felt like I made most of the conversation whereas he had not been sharing with me as much as I had. And what happend? He started to cry!!! I was seriously dumbfounded!!! Maybe it was stupid and cruel of me to end the date that way but he asked for my honest opinion! Needless to say I did not went on a second date with him ^^
On January 06 2013 07:49 Ange777 wrote: In my opinion nothing is worse than a guy who lacks confidence
I was on a date once with this guy who seemed to be really insecure the whole time. He was really quiet, did not talk much and in an awkward moment took my hand which made the moment even more awkward ... I had felt like I had to carry the entire conversation and was not that pleased with the date. So at the end of the date he asked me how I felt about the day. We actually had known each other for a long time already online and had skyped regularly (he had never been this shy and quiet then) but this had been the first meeting face to face. He said that he wanted to know the truth about whether I liked the date. So I said that it had been nice but that I felt like I made most of the conversation whereas he had not been sharing with me as much as I had. And what happend? He started to cry!!! I was seriously dumbfounded!!! Maybe it was stupid and cruel of me to end the date that way but he asked for my honest opinion! Needless to say I did not went on a second date with him ^^
I don't think its cruel, he asked for the truth and you gave him the truth, though the crying seems like, uh... an overreaction.
Confidence is a great thing, lets you take criticism. ^_^
On January 06 2013 07:49 Ange777 wrote: In my opinion nothing is worse than a guy who lacks confidence
I was on a date once with this guy who seemed to be really insecure the whole time. He was really quiet, did not talk much and in an awkward moment took my hand which made the moment even more awkward ... I had felt like I had to carry the entire conversation and was not that pleased with the date. So at the end of the date he asked me how I felt about the day. We actually had known each other for a long time already online and had skyped regularly (he had never been this shy and quiet then) but this had been the first meeting face to face. He said that he wanted to know the truth about whether I liked the date. So I said that it had been nice but that I felt like I made most of the conversation whereas he had not been sharing with me as much as I had. And what happend? He started to cry!!! I was seriously dumbfounded!!! Maybe it was stupid and cruel of me to end the date that way but he asked for my honest opinion! Needless to say I did not went on a second date with him ^^
As an anecdote... when I was in France and went through what we call Maths Sup - Maths Spé (2 years after high school which are really rough to train yourself in mathematics/sciences for the entry contest in engineering school). One of my teacher was pretty found of calling me face to face a dumbass and how I should go to literary school and how I was a good for nothing.
That kind of thing made my skin pretty thick when I'm now being criticized. (Not that I necessarily agree with his method... but still guy that cry for what you said... must not have been screamed at many times in his life).
However I sometimes dream that I kill the guy... hmmm :X And also I'm really annoyed by people getting all whiny over a remark or a small failure... I tend to feel contempt over so much weakness (which is sadly rampant in my field).
On January 06 2013 07:49 Ange777 wrote: In my opinion nothing is worse than a guy who lacks confidence
I was on a date once with this guy who seemed to be really insecure the whole time. He was really quiet, did not talk much and in an awkward moment took my hand which made the moment even more awkward ... I had felt like I had to carry the entire conversation and was not that pleased with the date. So at the end of the date he asked me how I felt about the day. We actually had known each other for a long time already online and had skyped regularly (he had never been this shy and quiet then) but this had been the first meeting face to face. He said that he wanted to know the truth about whether I liked the date. So I said that it had been nice but that I felt like I made most of the conversation whereas he had not been sharing with me as much as I had. And what happend? He started to cry!!! I was seriously dumbfounded!!! Maybe it was stupid and cruel of me to end the date that way but he asked for my honest opinion! Needless to say I did not went on a second date with him ^^
You woman are crazy, didn't you want guys to be more sensible ? There you go lol.
Anyways, that happens when dating girls too. It has nothing to do with gender, but self confidence or being mature enough, but i guess more guys dig into the "innocent shy girl", dunno.
i fell in crazy love to a co-worker, left my wife and my 2 year old son overnight. My wife took the house (had payed ~half of that, but could not stand the lawyer hassle, now she sold it and its hard to get anything back) and tried to kill me from behind with a knife, also destroyed all my computers, guitars and my piano ..