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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On January 05 2013 20:52 Kyrillion wrote:
It must be the very self-denial he mentions, but I feel his message is slightly hypocritical. People who chide their peers for not achieving enough are nearly always underachievers anyway.
I can't help but being reminded of the dad in Little Miss Sunshine.
Anyway people who don't date should blame it more on themselves, and people who think they should only blame themselves should look at the bigger picture and wonder why (in France at least) more and more people of both sex live alone and can't find someone to share their life.
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On January 05 2013 21:14 corumjhaelen wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 20:52 Kyrillion wrote:
It must be the very self-denial he mentions, but I feel his message is slightly hypocritical. People who chide their peers for not achieving enough are nearly always underachievers anyway. I can't help but being reminded of the dad in Little Miss Sunshine. Anyway people who don't date should blame it more on themselves, and people who think they should only blame themselves should look at the bigger picture and wonder why (in France at least) more and more people of both sex live alone and can't find someone to share their life.
I don't think dating is necessary. I've found that guys enjoy "dating" more than girls do and make it some really big thing which can be a bit of a turn off for girls. A lot of girls are also commitment phobes.
I used to double date when I was in University, one girl during the day, and another girl at night. I never really considered it "dating" though, more like hanging out with just the two. The more of a big deal you make things the harder and more stressful it gets, so why do it? Just hang out with the girls you wanna hang out with, and if it goes somewhere cool, if it doesn't well that's fine too.
Just keep it casual and don't be stressed if the girl doesn't wanna hang out with you, just keep looking eventually you will find someone. Its kinda overrated anyway.
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On January 05 2013 21:30 sluggaslamoo wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 21:14 corumjhaelen wrote:On January 05 2013 20:52 Kyrillion wrote:
It must be the very self-denial he mentions, but I feel his message is slightly hypocritical. People who chide their peers for not achieving enough are nearly always underachievers anyway. I can't help but being reminded of the dad in Little Miss Sunshine. Anyway people who don't date should blame it more on themselves, and people who think they should only blame themselves should look at the bigger picture and wonder why (in France at least) more and more people of both sex live alone and can't find someone to share their life. I don't think dating is necessary. I've found that guys enjoy "dating" more than girls do and make it some really big thing which can be a bit of a turn off for girls. A lot of girls are also commitment phobes. I used to double date when I was in University, one girl during the day, and another girl at night. I never really considered it "dating" though, more like hanging out with just the two. The more of a big deal you make things the harder and more stressful it gets, so why do it? Just hang out with the girls you wanna hang out with, and if it goes somewhere cool, if it doesn't well that's fine too. Just keep it casual and don't be stressed if the girl doesn't wanna hang out with you, just keep looking eventually you will find someone. Its kinda overrated anyway.
I have friends who are girls.
Edit : and to clarify, I don't disagree that it is overrated, but the social pressure to find someone is really high. Being a bachelor is being a loser.
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Russian Federation748 Posts
France is the country where love is a national sport, or so I've heard. Of course French youngsters are scared of asking girls out, the expectations of ladies must be so insane.
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On January 05 2013 21:42 Kyrillion wrote:
France is the country where love is a national sport, or so I've heard. Of course French youngsters are scared of asking girls out, the expectations of ladies must be so insane.
LOL.
Golden excuse, I'll use it everytime now.
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On January 05 2013 20:40 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 19:58 Kyrillion wrote:
That was also posted a few pages ago. Cracked must have hit the spot with that famous article.
Edit : actually not, a mediocre article. I can't see why people would laud that but blame drow for spouting nonsense. Yeah, I don't necessarily agree with most of it; I think he is kind of wishy-washy in some aspects. In one sentence he's telling you that you are your job (i.e. the money you make), and in the next he's telling you it's not all about your job and the money you make, but what you do overall... but point three is very true, imo. Regardless of what validity any other part of that article has, point three is absolutely true. You don't have to be a millionaire, or a NY Times best-selling author, or anyone that is generally regarded as "important" in today's world (because almost all of those people are rich), but you have to be interesting, and you have to do what you love (it helps if you also love your job). If what you love to do is helping kids, or counseling teenagers, or something else that's equally good to do, but doesn't make much money, then that's fine. If you're a janitor, but you spend your time off going on road trips, and... idk, mountain biking through the country, that's cool too (in fact, the first two things combined was getting a friend of mine a lot of ass for a while... he doesn't seem to believe in relationships... he still gets loads of women, but he's moved on from his janitorial duties). Those things make you an interesting person to talk to, and to be around. People gravitate toward interesting people... so be interesting. It was actually in talking to my friend that I referenced in the parenthetical statement that made me realize WHY he got women more than me. He's not significantly better looking than me (I think I'm better looking), and he doesn't make more money, wear nicer clothes, drive a nicer car, etc... yet women love this guy. Why? HE DOES THINGS! I looked through his FB pictures, and he's got pictures of his times in Cali, in Vegas, hiking through the Rockies, New York and so on. He does cool shit, so he has stories to tell, which means he has something to talk about. Me? I can talk about football, and... uhh... video games? And, imo, therein lies the difference.
The thing about facebook is, well, it's only facebook. A lot of people say that I don't post much on facebook (which is true, I don't have a lot of pictures and I'm very selective in those I do put online) but that's a conscious decision. I don't want to have my life on display on the internet. If you want to get to know me, talk to me. Facebook is great to stay in touch with people, but it's by no means a replacement for real human-to-human contact. I've noticed that a lot of people who sound very confident and open on facebook can be totally different if you talk to them face to face. I used to be like that as well. If you want to get to know me, talk to me.
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Russian Federation748 Posts
" If you want a friend, tame me . . ."
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On January 05 2013 11:23 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 11:22 MountainDewJunkie wrote:On January 05 2013 11:19 arb wrote:On January 05 2013 11:18 MountainDewJunkie wrote:On January 05 2013 11:12 arb wrote:On January 05 2013 10:51 generalyao wrote:On January 05 2013 10:38 Sakray wrote:
I've never dated a girl even tho I'm on a relatioship for almost 6 years now.
Internet ftw So how'd you end up in a relationship then..? There has to be some interesting story behind that he's gay I think he means he's in a relationship with someone he's never even met in person, ie, he met her online, cyber sex, phone calls, WoW, stuff like that. Phone sex is pretty good, imo he said he's never dated a girl but been in a relationship for 6 years gay imo But he said internet ftw, what would that have to do with sexual preference you can still date guys on the internet plus he said never a girl that leaves only one other sex, that being male unless its male/female or some kind of animal ??
You don't need to go on a date to be in a relationship. My wife (now, not then obviously) and I were sleeping together for months before I decided we really should have a first date. You could extend that longer without ever actually "dating".
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On January 05 2013 21:33 corumjhaelen wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 21:30 sluggaslamoo wrote:On January 05 2013 21:14 corumjhaelen wrote:On January 05 2013 20:52 Kyrillion wrote:
It must be the very self-denial he mentions, but I feel his message is slightly hypocritical. People who chide their peers for not achieving enough are nearly always underachievers anyway. I can't help but being reminded of the dad in Little Miss Sunshine. Anyway people who don't date should blame it more on themselves, and people who think they should only blame themselves should look at the bigger picture and wonder why (in France at least) more and more people of both sex live alone and can't find someone to share their life. I don't think dating is necessary. I've found that guys enjoy "dating" more than girls do and make it some really big thing which can be a bit of a turn off for girls. A lot of girls are also commitment phobes. I used to double date when I was in University, one girl during the day, and another girl at night. I never really considered it "dating" though, more like hanging out with just the two. The more of a big deal you make things the harder and more stressful it gets, so why do it? Just hang out with the girls you wanna hang out with, and if it goes somewhere cool, if it doesn't well that's fine too. Just keep it casual and don't be stressed if the girl doesn't wanna hang out with you, just keep looking eventually you will find someone. Its kinda overrated anyway. I have friends who are girls. Edit : and to clarify, I don't disagree that it is overrated, but the social pressure to find someone is really high. Being a bachelor is being a loser.
I dunno what the difference is.
In the end if you gonna have sex or a girlfriend, does it matter if those girls are your friends? Do you need to date a girl to get there? Hell no. In the end people believe a lot of dumb shit, like there's a difference between girls that are friends and girls that you have sex with, or that you gotta go on a date with any new girl you meet.
Not really sure what you are saying. Is the last statement something you believe in?
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On January 05 2013 12:08 Sakray wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 11:33 r.Evo wrote:
Maybe they met online, fell in love and greeted each other with a kiss the first time, skipping the "dating process".
GG. This. More exactly, we met online on some sort of roleplay-based website with an UI (you can make actions with your character on the UI and make roleplay on forums or IRC based on what your character do), and my character married her one. We had some roleplay on IRC, then we started to talk "normally" (i.e no roleplay) on IRC, MSN, etc... We texted a lot, she had free and unlimited calls from 9pm to 12pm almost everyday so we were on phone almost everyday. One day (maybe one year and a half later) I told her my feelings (basiccaly that I loved her), we met maybe 1 or 2 months later, and instead of the "hey how are you blablabla" stuff, bam, we kissed. 6 years in 2 months. And yep, my english is shit sometimes.
all the way through I would be thinking that I was being trolled
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On January 05 2013 21:59 sluggaslamoo wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 21:33 corumjhaelen wrote:On January 05 2013 21:30 sluggaslamoo wrote:On January 05 2013 21:14 corumjhaelen wrote:On January 05 2013 20:52 Kyrillion wrote:
It must be the very self-denial he mentions, but I feel his message is slightly hypocritical. People who chide their peers for not achieving enough are nearly always underachievers anyway. I can't help but being reminded of the dad in Little Miss Sunshine. Anyway people who don't date should blame it more on themselves, and people who think they should only blame themselves should look at the bigger picture and wonder why (in France at least) more and more people of both sex live alone and can't find someone to share their life. I don't think dating is necessary. I've found that guys enjoy "dating" more than girls do and make it some really big thing which can be a bit of a turn off for girls. A lot of girls are also commitment phobes. I used to double date when I was in University, one girl during the day, and another girl at night. I never really considered it "dating" though, more like hanging out with just the two. The more of a big deal you make things the harder and more stressful it gets, so why do it? Just hang out with the girls you wanna hang out with, and if it goes somewhere cool, if it doesn't well that's fine too. Just keep it casual and don't be stressed if the girl doesn't wanna hang out with you, just keep looking eventually you will find someone. Its kinda overrated anyway. I have friends who are girls. Edit : and to clarify, I don't disagree that it is overrated, but the social pressure to find someone is really high. Being a bachelor is being a loser. I dunno what the difference is. In the end if you gonna have sex or a girlfriend, does it matter if those girls are your friends? Do you need to date a girl to get there? Hell no. In the end people believe a lot of dumb shit, like there's a difference between girls that are friends and girls that you have sex with, or that you gotta go on a date with any new girl you meet. Not really sure what you are saying. Is the last statement something you believe in?
I don't have sex with my friends.
No I don't believe in it, but I think that's what social pressure makes you believe.
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On January 05 2013 22:04 corumjhaelen wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 21:59 sluggaslamoo wrote:On January 05 2013 21:33 corumjhaelen wrote:On January 05 2013 21:30 sluggaslamoo wrote:On January 05 2013 21:14 corumjhaelen wrote:On January 05 2013 20:52 Kyrillion wrote:
It must be the very self-denial he mentions, but I feel his message is slightly hypocritical. People who chide their peers for not achieving enough are nearly always underachievers anyway. I can't help but being reminded of the dad in Little Miss Sunshine. Anyway people who don't date should blame it more on themselves, and people who think they should only blame themselves should look at the bigger picture and wonder why (in France at least) more and more people of both sex live alone and can't find someone to share their life. I don't think dating is necessary. I've found that guys enjoy "dating" more than girls do and make it some really big thing which can be a bit of a turn off for girls. A lot of girls are also commitment phobes. I used to double date when I was in University, one girl during the day, and another girl at night. I never really considered it "dating" though, more like hanging out with just the two. The more of a big deal you make things the harder and more stressful it gets, so why do it? Just hang out with the girls you wanna hang out with, and if it goes somewhere cool, if it doesn't well that's fine too. Just keep it casual and don't be stressed if the girl doesn't wanna hang out with you, just keep looking eventually you will find someone. Its kinda overrated anyway. I have friends who are girls. Edit : and to clarify, I don't disagree that it is overrated, but the social pressure to find someone is really high. Being a bachelor is being a loser. I dunno what the difference is. In the end if you gonna have sex or a girlfriend, does it matter if those girls are your friends? Do you need to date a girl to get there? Hell no. In the end people believe a lot of dumb shit, like there's a difference between girls that are friends and girls that you have sex with, or that you gotta go on a date with any new girl you meet. Not really sure what you are saying. Is the last statement something you believe in? I don't have sex with my friends. No I don't believe in it, but I think that's what social pressure makes you believe.
Oh lord... Having sex with you friends...
+ Show Spoiler +
I did that a week ago though... It's important (if you do it) to find someone where you're on the same page. If it's a girl looking for more - and you aren't then you're just a dick... if you're the one looking for more - and she isn't... Then you'll get hurt... I was just dumped 2 months ago... And then my friend was just there... And we were drunk... Was a great night  Nothing awkward came out of it. I'm happy it happened... But seriously, you should ONLY do it if both of you want the same thing
Also...
Made me laugh like hell :D
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i hate the word date, biggest turn off in my life when a girl says it: I'ld rather have her puke and piss all over my dick.
turns all of a sudden a chillin together in some kind of SITUATION. da fuq gurl
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Was in love once. Until she got pregnant. Not from me. I guess I'm done with dating for the lols.
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I'm 20yo
My date luck:
+ Show Spoiler +After never having had good luck, I've finally found fortune I kind of accidentally ended up in a relationship with this girl who was a friend from a year ago and we started hanging out and then hanging out more and then kinda realized that every time we had lunch together it would turn into a 3 hour conversation, at least... and it just kinda went from there. I never took her on an official date or tried to be romantic or anything, I just had a lot of fun and I guess so did she :D I don't know if I'm in a position to give advice, but I would say basically the same thing the Cracked article says: Don't worry about what it takes to make a girl like you. Worry about making yourself like you more. Over the past year, whenever I'd feel down about girls (say after getting rejected when I ask a girl to go on a date with me) I decided to try to focus that energy on improving myself, and not worry about the next girl. Although, it's probably easier to do that in college, when there's plenty of people around to socialize with. I believe that dating sites actually provide a useful service, and they don't deserve their reputation of being a last resort. I signed up for OKCupid a few months ago, then got off the site when I got into a relationship, but I gotta say: answering their questions is fun!!! They use only user created questions, and the ones they ask first are questions that prove to be most divisive... it's really interesting stuff, I recommend everyone read their blog. Aaaaaaaaaand I got way off topic with that. Woops. Anyway, good luck to everyone out there in TL!
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Dude, I could not have said it better myself! I am single, and I am going to stay that way for a long time, just coz I do not want a girlfriend now. I am not ready for merrige, and that is what I want with my next girl, just coz I get too emotional and give too much of myself to her, but the things about working on yourselves is so sexy said, and I have always tried to put words on that, and you did it, so I would love to kiss you!!
BRO HUG OVER THE INTERNETT!!! <3 <3
On January 05 2013 22:40 TheRealPaciFist wrote:I'm 20yo My date luck: + Show Spoiler +After never having had good luck, I've finally found fortune I kind of accidentally ended up in a relationship with this girl who was a friend from a year ago and we started hanging out and then hanging out more and then kinda realized that every time we had lunch together it would turn into a 3 hour conversation, at least... and it just kinda went from there. I never took her on an official date or tried to be romantic or anything, I just had a lot of fun and I guess so did she :D I don't know if I'm in a position to give advice, but I would say basically the same thing the Cracked article says: Don't worry about what it takes to make a girl like you. Worry about making yourself like you more. Over the past year, whenever I'd feel down about girls (say after getting rejected when I ask a girl to go on a date with me) I decided to try to focus that energy on improving myself, and not worry about the next girl. Although, it's probably easier to do that in college, when there's plenty of people around to socialize with. I believe that dating sites actually provide a useful service, and they don't deserve their reputation of being a last resort. I signed up for OKCupid a few months ago, then got off the site when I got into a relationship, but I gotta say: answering their questions is fun!!! They use only user created questions, and the ones they ask first are questions that prove to be most divisive... it's really interesting stuff, I recommend everyone read their blog. Aaaaaaaaaand I got way off topic with that. Woops. Anyway, good luck to everyone out there in TL!
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On January 05 2013 21:42 Kyrillion wrote:
France is the country where love is a national sport, or so I've heard. Of course French youngsters are scared of asking girls out, the expectations of ladies must be so insane.
France is also the only country where being french doesnt make it really easier to get girls T.T.
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On January 05 2013 22:01 mememolly wrote:
all the way through I would be thinking that I was being trolled
But it's 100% true
On January 05 2013 22:48 Tyrran wrote:Show nested quote +On January 05 2013 21:42 Kyrillion wrote:
France is the country where love is a national sport, or so I've heard. Of course French youngsters are scared of asking girls out, the expectations of ladies must be so insane. France is also the only country where being french doesnt make it really easier to get girls T.T.
You just can't be romantic in french. Unless you speak to a non-french girl :p
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I friendzone girls that are interested in me.
I may be a little bit weird.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/001/384/Atrapitis.gif)
