EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 643
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
| ||
|
WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
| ||
|
Najda
United States3765 Posts
On June 26 2015 04:02 Ghostcom wrote: Where are you from bloodwhore? Conversing/approaching Scandinavian women requires a somewhat different approach than other European or American women... In what way? | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
| ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 26 2015 00:45 bloodwhore~ wrote: Why are some girls so godawful at having conversations? Every girl except than the one who I told I just wanted to be friends and another one who I went fucked shit up with, have been pretty shit at talking. I get it if I'm the one initiating the conversation and they're not that interested in me. However it's really annoying when they are they one to first say hello and proceeds to just give a short answers to my questions. I don't even know what they expect... Do they think a relationship will magically appear without getting to know each other? Were they just bored when and wanted to say hello? Regardless of who says hello first it usually goes like this after we've greeted. I ask a broad question, she answers it, I ask a follow up question to her answer, she answers it, I ask another question, she answers it, I ask a follow up question, she answers. Not even a "how about you?" response. I'm bored. Why not just get a ask.fm account if you just want to answer questions? Another thing I've noticed is that some girls bring up their ex after like 4 messages. I don't know how anyone can think that is a good topic so early on. God damn. I'm not even sure if it's worth asking them out on a real date either, it's usually way easier to talk on text in my opinion since you can formulate an answer well. But if they can't even keep a somewhat even conversation on text how on earth would they do it in real. Input someone? get to the point way faster. Don't see the need for much conversation in online dating, the whole point should be to get a date asap, and then you find out if the girl's for you or not. If you don't want to waste your time with too many incompatible dates, close on phone numbers + have a conversation over the phone. There's shitloads of competition in online dating as anyone can do it, and the girls have no reason to try as all are bombarded by messages. It's a game of numbers really. If you want to have way, WAY higher ratio of good conversations. Go try approaching IRL - it's the same like tinder, just takes balls so the competition is stratospherically lower and the girls will actually try (same point tho - it's still all in the numbers. But the ratios of girls approached per date gotten are way lower than in online dating - i think starting out with speed dating, or networking events would be a good start as people expect to be approached) | ||
|
Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
In the "Less bullshit" kind of way  | ||
|
levelping
Singapore759 Posts
| ||
|
DarkPlasmaBall
United States44359 Posts
On June 26 2015 06:40 WarSame wrote: The advice on this forum for the most part is extremely good. Teamliquid honestly is one of the most amazing forums I've ever seen. Even though it's about SC, it's got great dating advice, hip hop knowledge, and other random topic knowledge. It seems like no matter what you talk about there is always going to be at least 5 people that know their shit, or that will at least try to work through it with you. Agreed | ||
|
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On June 26 2015 07:34 LemOn wrote: So this girl I'm seeing was picking a movie from my PC tonight and I couldn't find one I was looking for today - so she started looking in the recycle bin. Where I had like 7 porn XXX Russian Teen backdoor and stuff like that porn (and she's Ukrainian) . So I pulled away her hand and stopped her before she saw, told her she can't look there because there's private stuff and emptied it. She dropped it then focused on sth else. But I just told her like 4 minutes later - "didn't want you to look cause there was my porn in there. I stopped watching it like10 days back (true)" But implied I was watching all the time before. The reaction was surprisingly positive, she was actually impressed and jokingly pointed out that I told her "look here's my porn" and that most guys try to hide it :D LOL. Damn she must have been investigating trying to find weird shit, who looks in the recycle bin for movies!? I think it was good that you said it was just your porn otherwise she could have thought it was something way worse. | ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8657 Posts
why do people download porn? theres plenty of hq stuff on streams and you dont have the hassle of someone accidentally finding your stash | ||
|
Juddas
768 Posts
Now I'm in a really rough situation. I used to love this girl, she was my everything and I worked so hard to have her. Now the feelings are fleeting on my end but have only grown stronger on hers. I am a complete dickhead because I feel like she is putting so much more in to this relationship than I am, and when we are together things are amazing and the feelings come back. However, the second I even begin to leave all I can think about is how badly I need to end things and how much I need to break up with her. It's so hard to explain, even to myself, but I believe the largest part of it is me just not wanting to be in a relationship anymore. I simply want out. But she hasn't done anything wrong, she's exactly the same. And I really do care about this girl, I think if I were to ever marry someone it would be to her, but that wouldn't be for a long while and I need to experience myself first. So I'd rather not hurt her or have things end too badly. But anytime I try to bring any of these emotions up, as I have tried a couple of times, she begins to cry hysterically and can't even kind of handle her emotions because it's so blindsiding to her. I guess I don't really know what I'm looking for here. I know the correct move is to just be a man about it and pull the trigger, it just seems so impossible when I even think about it. Thanks for reading | ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8657 Posts
the fact that she stayed static and you matured? atm your situation kind of looks 'lose lose' to me, you either break it off or you drag yourself through the relationship constantly having doubts i would honestly explain to her everything youre feeling and suggest that you guys have some time off just to discover life outside of your relationship. you might need to reassure her that its not because you dont like her and that when youre done rediscovering yourselves you could get back together. its very risky though. you can say all that now but shit will change and you could very easily meet different people, lead different lives etc, so she probably wont take it too well keep in mind though theres no such thing as a "correct" move so dont feel obligated to pull the trigger just because you think its correct. id look at what kind of relationship youd want with her after you break up, where you see yourselves in the future, whether it would be possible to reconcile later on should you both wish to etc | ||
|
Juddas
768 Posts
And the reasons are complex and very hard to describe, but I will try. We want very different things in life, she likes to manipulate and control me, even without her realizing it i.e. the crying thing when we are talking. I find myself just looking for freedom constantly, and I really don't know why my feelings are fading. That's the hard part because I can't answer that question. I'm just done and want out. It's honestly falling out of love and it sucks. But it's gotten to the point where I feel resentment towards her, I've just now pinpointed that's what the feeling is, and that's absolutely terrible. I feel like such shit even thinking that and moreso typing it but it's the truth. And that really makes me feel like I have to do it because it isn't fair to her, but I don't see myself ever being able to go through with it. | ||
|
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
| ||
|
Snotling
Germany885 Posts
On June 26 2015 16:14 Juddas wrote: From what I know of her, reconciliation is not going to be an option. Like if she were to see me in a supermarket 5 years down the road she would avoid interaction with me at all costs and I would have never known she was there. I've seen it happen before with her, sometimes even her friends from out of town. So that makes this decision an ultimatum. And the reasons are complex and very hard to describe, but I will try. We want very different things in life, she likes to manipulate and control me, even without her realizing it i.e. the crying thing when we are talking. I find myself just looking for freedom constantly, and I really don't know why my feelings are fading. That's the hard part because I can't answer that question. I'm just done and want out. It's honestly falling out of love and it sucks. But it's gotten to the point where I feel resentment towards her, I've just now pinpointed that's what the feeling is, and that's absolutely terrible. I feel like such shit even thinking that and moreso typing it but it's the truth. And that really makes me feel like I have to do it because it isn't fair to her, but I don't see myself ever being able to go through with it. been there, done that. my suggestion: run, and run far. May suck now, but if you dont, it will suck way more later. | ||
|
unsaeglich
260 Posts
I had good conversations on and off since over a month ( for 2 weeks we didn't chat at all) with a girl, and she was (in hindsight) very upset that I went on a date with another girl (why did I even tell her.. raaaa, ofc so she felt free to date too.. ) and now we were chatting again and she told me that she met a couple of times with a guy and he's nice. I asked her for a date and she said that she feels like I treated her as 2nd choice (worst case here), and I couldn't convince her otherwise. So she's busy for the next month and will think if she maybe gives me another chance in august. I think that's fine, I am somewhat bored of dating now anyway, and I am getting into a new job so I don't have too much time, and dota. And by august we can see what's up. Though it's unreasonable for online dating, I also very really bad when I went on the date (which ended sort of like a ons), and she felt really upset too obviously, makes me think our chatting was really sort of serious. I ll just wait for her, she's not very beautiful or so, but she might has the extra that makes me like her over others, and our communication is just enjoyable clear. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 26 2015 17:54 unsaeglich wrote: regarding online dating, the girl I talked about earlier showed me her profile on lovoo, and she had 4,5k+ match requests at that point. Finding a suiting girl online is like the needle in the hay. Well it won't be THAT extreme for girls that aren't model looking asian high achievers that play video games  But, yeah - it's a crowded space. She's busy for the next month bullshit and will think if she maybe gives me another chance in august. She's 99% gone. Even if she's not - I can't see anyone wanting to start dating off of this dynamic. Just ask girls out sooner online Often even asking them out in the first message works on sites with more info in profiles | ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8657 Posts
On June 26 2015 16:14 Juddas wrote: From what I know of her, reconciliation is not going to be an option. Like if she were to see me in a supermarket 5 years down the road she would avoid interaction with me at all costs and I would have never known she was there. I've seen it happen before with her, sometimes even her friends from out of town. So that makes this decision an ultimatum. And the reasons are complex and very hard to describe, but I will try. We want very different things in life, she likes to manipulate and control me, even without her realizing it i.e. the crying thing when we are talking. I find myself just looking for freedom constantly, and I really don't know why my feelings are fading. That's the hard part because I can't answer that question. I'm just done and want out. It's honestly falling out of love and it sucks. But it's gotten to the point where I feel resentment towards her, I've just now pinpointed that's what the feeling is, and that's absolutely terrible. I feel like such shit even thinking that and moreso typing it but it's the truth. And that really makes me feel like I have to do it because it isn't fair to her, but I don't see myself ever being able to go through with it. i still dont know well enough about your relationship to exactly say what i would do, but if i had to say something it would be that you should just be upfront about it. if you find yourself easily manipulated by her tears or whatever youre gonna need to act strong and just cut the bullshit; otherwise she'll find a way to hold on to you. make sure you dont leave any kind of ambiguity or hope for her and just cut it off. its gonna suck for a couple of months for you with the possible guilt of hurting her, but youll get over it eventually and its better for her in the long run to know you guys are completely done | ||
|
unsaeglich
260 Posts
For me the time is necessary anyway, because I still write messages (like 1/week) to my ex (never get answered, no clue if she even gets them) or talk on her answering machine, I am probably not ready yet for a new relationship. I feel like I should focus more on myself now, rather than finding someone. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 26 2015 19:45 unsaeglich wrote: For me the time is necessary anyway, because I still write messages (like 1/week) to my ex (never get answered, no clue if she even gets them) or talk on her answering machine, I am probably not ready yet for a new relationship. I feel like I should focus more on myself now, rather than finding someone. NOOOOOOO stop for the love of god man :D If you want the slightest chance of getting her back never even think about contacting her unless she does first. And yeah - focus on yourself, and ask girls out fast it's no big deal, doesn't mean you'll get a relationship | ||
| ||
