|
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 29 2015 11:12 WarSame wrote:
At this point I finally feel I understand socializing enough that I can tell if women are hitting on me, but I feel... apathetic? Even when women I'm interested in are hitting on me, I don't really do anything thing about it. I'm kind of slow moving in general, but in this regard I just take way too long. I think I probably watch way too much porn.
Yeah porn does play a major role in this.
Last year I did around 3 month noporn nofap challenge
Now last 3weeks or so I don't do a challenge. I just stopped watching porn completely because I wanted to. And it's no big deal when you've proven to yourself you can.
Just listen to this
http://www.menprovement.com/mpp023/
On June 29 2015 12:23 WarSame wrote:
Alright, I need to stop doing it so frequently, then. Does anyone have suggestions for this? I've noticed I cut down a lot when I'm working out or running a lot, or just busy doing other things. Can you recommend me some other ways to quit it?
I was addicted to porn since I was 15. I'd jack off every day 2 times on average ever since then?
Last year when I did the nofap challenge at first it was excruciating, what I did is every time I was frustrated and wanted to watch porn, I went to the gym instead.
I went every day for 2 months that summer. Sometimes 2x.
What's great about this is all you have to do is do it once in a lifetime as a challenge. This time around when I settled on one girl and it became okay to be super horny as I can control my neediness relatively well (besides in bed - still working on that. When she tells you "just fuck me already" or "do you have a condom" I want to control myself, say "not yet" and drive her crazy)
It's not a challenge, I just stop, and I did it because the sex is just way WAY better, you are attracted to women way more and are motivated to take action more as well.
|
LemOn, you're not the first person I've heard recommend going to the gym to replace masturbation. I wonder why such a thing is so effective for some people. I suppose it's a mixture of finding a new way to let out frustrations and finding something else to do when you're bored? What about when you're legitimately horny though? Does your sex drive just start to disappear when you're at the gym every day? Because mine doesn't get curbed, even when I'm at the gym every day.
|
What about wet dreams? Don't you get more of those if you stop fapping or is that a myth?
I'm happy to stop masturbating/porn whilst in a relationship, but when I'm single I find it incredibly hard.
|
On June 29 2015 21:03 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
LemOn, you're not the first person I've heard recommend going to the gym to replace masturbation. I wonder why such a thing is so effective for some people. I suppose it's a mixture of finding a new way to let out frustrations and finding something else to do when you're bored? What about when you're legitimately horny though? Does your sex drive just start to disappear when you're at the gym every day? Because mine doesn't get curbed, even when I'm at the gym every day.
Yeah.....for many people, physical exercise is an aphrodisiac. It is for me at least lol. Besides, for Christ's sake, no one needs to replace masturbation with anything! Guys do themselves a disservice when they stop seeking sexual release in the hopes that it will increase their odds of landing a girl or something else requiring discipline or motivation.
More to the point of the thread, I'm dating a girl from my law class. She is the bee's knees.
|
On June 29 2015 21:12 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2015 21:03 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
LemOn, you're not the first person I've heard recommend going to the gym to replace masturbation. I wonder why such a thing is so effective for some people. I suppose it's a mixture of finding a new way to let out frustrations and finding something else to do when you're bored? What about when you're legitimately horny though? Does your sex drive just start to disappear when you're at the gym every day? Because mine doesn't get curbed, even when I'm at the gym every day. Yeah.....for many people, physical exercise is an aphrodisiac. It is for me at least lol. Besides, for Christ's sake, no one needs to replace masturbation with anything! Guys do themselves a disservice when they stop seeking sexual release in the hopes that it will increase their odds of landing a girl or something else requiring discipline or motivation. More to the point of the thread, I'm dating a girl from my law class. She is the bee's knees.
But is she as cool as CatsPajamas? 
Good luck man 
|
On June 29 2015 21:06 Shinon wrote:
What about wet dreams? Don't you get more of those if you stop fapping or is that a myth?
I'm happy to stop masturbating/porn whilst in a relationship, but when I'm single I find it incredibly hard.
Actually... it all depends on what you do before you sleep. If you have sexual stimulating thoughts before you fall asleep then your unconscious mind will churn those thoughts whiles organizing them; thus, causing "wet" dreams.
|
On June 29 2015 21:12 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2015 21:03 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
LemOn, you're not the first person I've heard recommend going to the gym to replace masturbation. I wonder why such a thing is so effective for some people. I suppose it's a mixture of finding a new way to let out frustrations and finding something else to do when you're bored? What about when you're legitimately horny though? Does your sex drive just start to disappear when you're at the gym every day? Because mine doesn't get curbed, even when I'm at the gym every day. Yeah.....for many people, physical exercise is an aphrodisiac. It is for me at least lol. Besides, for Christ's sake, no one needs to replace masturbation with anything! Guys do themselves a disservice when they stop seeking sexual release in the hopes that it will increase their odds of landing a girl or something else requiring discipline or motivation. More to the point of the thread, I'm dating a girl from my law class. She is the bee's knees.
I look at it more like a motivational tactic to engage, I don't think it's going to make one any better with the ladies by itself. But if it's been a couple weeks since ones last release, I think it's probably going to increase one's motivation to at least try to pursue women one is already interested in.
Could even just be a small thing like not fapping until you have talked to at least 3 new women or asked a woman on a date or whatever.
|
Update:
She answered after like 2 days.
"Sorry my phone has been been acting up so couldn't answer. I'm pretty busy all week  "
Just responded with "okay ", don't think she is interested so not going to talk to her unless she talks to me.
-----
Initiated contact with another girl, she has been very talkative. Really cute, only 18 years old though, almost feels illegal. She is going away for 16 days this thursday though, she said she wanted to see me when she got back.
Will still continue to talk to other girls when she is away.
|
On June 29 2015 21:03 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
LemOn, you're not the first person I've heard recommend going to the gym to replace masturbation. I wonder why such a thing is so effective for some people. I suppose it's a mixture of finding a new way to let out frustrations and finding something else to do when you're bored? What about when you're legitimately horny though? Does your sex drive just start to disappear when you're at the gym every day? Because mine doesn't get curbed, even when I'm at the gym every day.
The neurotransmitters you get by watching porn, you get when you lift as well
|
Yeah, training doesn't stop my fapping at all and I train a lot. If you want to decrease your amount, just force yourself not to fap.
|
On June 29 2015 21:12 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2015 21:03 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
LemOn, you're not the first person I've heard recommend going to the gym to replace masturbation. I wonder why such a thing is so effective for some people. I suppose it's a mixture of finding a new way to let out frustrations and finding something else to do when you're bored? What about when you're legitimately horny though? Does your sex drive just start to disappear when you're at the gym every day? Because mine doesn't get curbed, even when I'm at the gym every day. Yeah.....for many people, physical exercise is an aphrodisiac. It is for me at least lol. Besides, for Christ's sake, no one needs to replace masturbation with anything! Guys do themselves a disservice when they stop seeking sexual release in the hopes that it will increase their odds of landing a girl or something else requiring discipline or motivation. More to the point of the thread, I'm dating a girl from my law class. She is the bee's knees.
There's a difference between masturbating 5x a week without porn and masturbating to porn 2+ times a day because you are bored on the internet.
If you need porn to masturbate your reward system is kind of broken and it's not a surprise that you have no motivation to talk to real girls.
|
On June 29 2015 22:09 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2015 21:03 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
LemOn, you're not the first person I've heard recommend going to the gym to replace masturbation. I wonder why such a thing is so effective for some people. I suppose it's a mixture of finding a new way to let out frustrations and finding something else to do when you're bored? What about when you're legitimately horny though? Does your sex drive just start to disappear when you're at the gym every day? Because mine doesn't get curbed, even when I'm at the gym every day. The neurotransmitters you get by watching porn, you get when you lift as well
The release of endorphins?
|
On June 29 2015 22:08 bloodwhore~ wrote:Update: She answered after like 2 days. "Sorry my phone has been been acting up so couldn't answer. I'm pretty busy all week " Just responded with "okay ", don't think she is interested so not going to talk to her unless she talks to me. ----- Initiated contact with another girl, she has been very talkative. Really cute, only 18 years old though, almost feels illegal. She is going away for 16 days this thursday though, she said she wanted to see me when she got back. Will still continue to talk to other girls when she is away.
Yeah, no reason why you shouldn't still play the field, but I'd definitely shoot her a text when she gets home (if you're still interested in seeing her).
Out of curiosity, how old are you?
|
On June 30 2015 01:29 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2015 22:08 bloodwhore~ wrote:Update: She answered after like 2 days. "Sorry my phone has been been acting up so couldn't answer. I'm pretty busy all week " Just responded with "okay ", don't think she is interested so not going to talk to her unless she talks to me. ----- Initiated contact with another girl, she has been very talkative. Really cute, only 18 years old though, almost feels illegal. She is going away for 16 days this thursday though, she said she wanted to see me when she got back. Will still continue to talk to other girls when she is away. Yeah, no reason why you shouldn't still play the field, but I'd definitely shoot her a text when she gets home (if you're still interested in seeing her). Out of curiosity, how old are you?
I'm 22 so I'm in the clear with the dating age equation. Will still most likely go for it, only exception if she is really immature, she does not seem to be though.
|
On June 30 2015 01:47 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 01:29 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On June 29 2015 22:08 bloodwhore~ wrote:Update: She answered after like 2 days. "Sorry my phone has been been acting up so couldn't answer. I'm pretty busy all week " Just responded with "okay ", don't think she is interested so not going to talk to her unless she talks to me. ----- Initiated contact with another girl, she has been very talkative. Really cute, only 18 years old though, almost feels illegal. She is going away for 16 days this thursday though, she said she wanted to see me when she got back. Will still continue to talk to other girls when she is away. Yeah, no reason why you shouldn't still play the field, but I'd definitely shoot her a text when she gets home (if you're still interested in seeing her). Out of curiosity, how old are you? I'm 22 so I'm in the clear with the dating age equation. Will still most likely go for it, only exception if she is really immature, she does not seem to be though.
Yeah I definitely know plenty of people who matured greatly from the time they entered college to the time they graduated, myself included.
|
On June 29 2015 21:25 Advantageous wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2015 21:06 Shinon wrote:
What about wet dreams? Don't you get more of those if you stop fapping or is that a myth?
I'm happy to stop masturbating/porn whilst in a relationship, but when I'm single I find it incredibly hard. Actually... it all depends on what you do before you sleep. If you have sexual stimulating thoughts before you fall asleep then your unconscious mind will churn those thoughts whiles organizing them; thus, causing "wet" dreams.
Only had a wet dream a single time and that was when i was with my then ex.
had a dream i was giving it to her from behind and i forget what she said but it was something really fucking filthy(bc that shit really gets me tbh) felt like i came in my dream woke up and was like man that didnt happen, then i went to the bathroom and it was pretty much everywhere i was like real. She was pretty excited at the time shes the only one that made me do it.
Oddly enough even though I say i'm done with her i had a dream about her a couple days ago with almost the same result, i was like god damn you bitch get the fuck out of my head
But on one hand i dont think i'll ever get back with her and her new boyfriend is apparently "oh so dreamy" even tho he is unemployed and she is playing sugar mama or whatever. Since getting rid of her on social media we havent really talked or anything even though we would sometimes, usually her asking for a bunch of random shit which i still havent figured out really(things she didnt care about but gave me when we met like ok) And i really don't want to give it back to her mostly bc i dont want to go over there but for one reason and seeing her or giving her stuff is not it and i know that is a bad idea so i have dodged it or made up bullshit about it.
I still to this day do not know if i had asked her to marry me like i had planned would have changed her mind or something and it is super fucking annoying to think about at the same time
|
This "no-fap" bullshit is exactly that. I'm sure your general appearance, grooming, personality, style and physique are all far more important factors in picking up woman than whether you have masturbated in the last 3 weeks. c'mon guys.
This stuff is eerily reminiscent of the BS that littered the pua thread..
|
Yeah agree, nofap is pretty bs.
Groom yourself / use facewash to clean your face. Charcoal is really good for it.
Get decent clothes, there is a fashion advice on this site if you're unsure.
Cut your hair.
Don't smell
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
And finally, get an interest that is actually interesting. If you get the question "what's your hobby" and you answer:
Friends/Music/movies/gaming you're actually so uninteresting and generic tbh. Talk about something that is a bit more unique to you.
If you practice this for a year you will end up a 6 or 7 out of 10. The rest is sort of up to genetics and facial structures and stuff.
|
On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
Yeah agree, nofap is pretty bs.
Groom yourself / use facewash to clean your face. Charcoal is really good for it.
Get decent clothes, there is a fashion advice on this site if you're unsure.
Cut your hair.
Don't smell
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
And finally, get an interest that is actually interesting. If you get the question "what's your hobby" and you answer:
Friends/Music/movies/gaming you're actually so uninteresting and generic tbh. Talk about something that is a bit more unique to you.
If you practice this for a year you will end up a 6 or 7 out of 10. The rest is sort of up to genetics and facial structures and stuff.
I've seen what people would describe as 3/4's get really attractive like 8/9 females before
a whole lot of picking up women is how you talk and present yourself too.
But smelling nice and dressing nice are obvious things to work on also.
And honestly if you are just trying to get laid, being able to bullshit like a champion doesnt hurt either
|
On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
Yeah agree, nofap is pretty bs.
Groom yourself / use facewash to clean your face. Charcoal is really good for it.
Get decent clothes, there is a fashion advice on this site if you're unsure.
Cut your hair.
Don't smell
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
And finally, get an interest that is actually interesting. If you get the question "what's your hobby" and you answer:
Friends/Music/movies/gaming you're actually so uninteresting and generic tbh. Talk about something that is a bit more unique to you.
If you practice this for a year you will end up a 6 or 7 out of 10. The rest is sort of up to genetics and facial structures and stuff.
While general body hygiene and taking care of yourself is important for all manner of things, the rest of your advice is meh.
You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
You also don't have to get "interesting" hobbies. If it is interesting to YOU that is enough. You don't take up skydiving because it will get you the hot chicks. You take up skydiving because you enjoy it. You being passionate about your hobby is enough. The hobby itself can be as boring as you like (wheter that is skydiving, gaming, crotcheting or watching paint dry). It's how you experience it and how you convey your passion.
Gaming, music and movies are perfectly valid hobbies, as long as you can explain why they are fun to you, personally. Sure, skydiving has more instant sex appeal than playing "dorky" videogames, but if you're not actually into skydiving, then that appeal will definitely wear quickly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
