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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote:
You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym.
I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix".
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On June 30 2015 23:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote:
You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym. I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix".
I, personally, agree with you. Me and my girlfriend are both outdoorsy people (me a bit more than her, but I drag her along regardless  ). However, about 90% of my coworkers are happy to do very little other than watch netflix and hang out with friends, and they all seem perfectly happy (and aren't lone basement dwellers, they are nice and normal people, and I enjoy going for a beer with them, as well as interacting at work).
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On June 30 2015 22:43 seom wrote:
This "no-fap" bullshit is exactly that. I'm sure your general appearance, grooming, personality, style and physique are all far more important factors in picking up woman than whether you have masturbated in the last 3 weeks. c'mon guys.
This stuff is eerily reminiscent of the BS that littered the pua thread..
Stopping excessive porn usage isn't about becoming more attractive to women. It's about making real live women more attractive to you. If someone is using porn to masturbate 2 or 3 times a day and then also says, "I have no desire to approach women or put out effort in trying to meet one," then perhaps they need to reevaluate their novelty-seeking behaviors and reprogram their brain's reward centers in order to stop running on an unfulfilling hedonic treadmill. C'mon guy. No one is saying, "I'm a really attractive, well-groomed dude, with style and personality and I actually approach women all the time, but I think every woman is rejecting me because I masturbate too much."
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On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
Yeah agree, nofap is pretty bs.
Groom yourself / use facewash to clean your face. Charcoal is really good for it.
Get decent clothes, there is a fashion advice on this site if you're unsure.
Cut your hair.
Don't smell
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
And finally, get an interest that is actually interesting. If you get the question "what's your hobby" and you answer:
Friends/Music/movies/gaming you're actually so uninteresting and generic tbh. Talk about something that is a bit more unique to you.
If you practice this for a year you will end up a 6 or 7 out of 10. The rest is sort of up to genetics and facial structures and stuff. While general body hygiene and taking care of yourself is important for all manner of things, the rest of your advice is meh. You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead. You also don't have to get "interesting" hobbies. If it is interesting to YOU that is enough. You don't take up skydiving because it will get you the hot chicks. You take up skydiving because you enjoy it. You being passionate about your hobby is enough. The hobby itself can be as boring as you like (wheter that is skydiving, gaming, crotcheting or watching paint dry). It's how you experience it and how you convey your passion. Gaming, music and movies are perfectly valid hobbies, as long as you can explain why they are fun to you, personally. Sure, skydiving has more instant sex appeal than playing "dorky" videogames, but if you're not actually into skydiving, then that appeal will definitely wear quickly.
Pretty sure swimming / running / climbing / play football all counts as "working out": And all of those are interesting traits as a person. It shows a bit of dedication. If you have a black belt in some martial arts that's like instant +2-3 on a 0/10 scale. Not because it's that difficult to get but rather because it shows dedication and striving for a goal.
Also yes of course having music / gaming as hobbies is fine. The thing about them is that they are so generic that you don't stick out. At least have one that is a bit more interesting.
"What do you do in your sparetime?"
"I like to hang out with my friends and listen to music."
"Oh what kind of music do you listen to?"
"Pretty much everything:"
"ok."
If you are gonna say music, be a lot more specific. Yes I personally listen to "everything" from death metal to kpop but I have a few select groups that I mention instead when the topic comes up. If you've been to concerts/festivals mention that too.
Note that this is "listening to music". If you actually play an instrument or study music science or something it is different as those are a lot more specific to you.
Have to treat dates a bit like job interviews. Make yourself attractive to the employer / man or woman. Stick out a bit more from the rest.
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On June 30 2015 23:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote:
You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym. I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix".
Errr....
On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
...
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
But sure, that wasn't the main point I was trying to make. The point is that you have to be satisfied with yourself, and not do stuff just because you think it might make you more attractive to girls at a bar (or wherever). It's nonsense.
You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life.
And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls.
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On July 01 2015 00:21 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 22:43 seom wrote:
This "no-fap" bullshit is exactly that. I'm sure your general appearance, grooming, personality, style and physique are all far more important factors in picking up woman than whether you have masturbated in the last 3 weeks. c'mon guys.
This stuff is eerily reminiscent of the BS that littered the pua thread.. Stopping excessive porn usage isn't about becoming more attractive to women. It's about making real live women more attractive to you. If someone is using porn to masturbate 2 or 3 times a day and then also says, "I have no desire to approach women or put out effort in trying to meet one," then perhaps they need to reevaluate their novelty-seeking behaviors and reprogram their brain's reward centers in order to stop running on an unfulfilling hedonic treadmill. C'mon guy. No one is saying, "I'm a really attractive, well-groomed dude, with style and personality and I actually approach women all the time, but I think every woman is rejecting me because I masturbate too much."
It's like, seriously? Do people not even read before they get on their high horse. Who would think nofap would make you more attractive? Like women can smell the stockpiled semen and can't resist it lol.
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Honestly, I got your point GreenHorizon and IgnE. I've been doing it over the last couple of days(still beat it every couple of days without porn) and it's been clearing my mind a bit. I like it. Hopefully I can keep this going!
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Mexico2170 Posts
Well, not the semen, but there are studdies that show that since you go through different phases of hormones it could make you sightly less or more atractive if you masturbate or not. Also since hormone and testosterone affect some other parts of the body, it could be argued that masturbating frequently and reducing your testosterone levels could make you sightly less atractive. Also hormone changes are also known to cause acne so there's that.
So all in all, no fapping won't make a super model like you, but can help in some cases to make you sightly more atractive. It won't make people that didn't like you before to like you now, but if a girl is on the verge, no fapping, and taking care of your body/skin, and you know having a hobby can help.
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Edit, Also, fapping has a lot of psycological consecuences. A person who faps frequently is more propense to feeling sad/depressed/insecure. Or maybe a sad/insecure person is more propense to fapping idk, but that is certanly unattractive, and I bealive a big part of the "no fap" success is that people start to get away from their insecurities.
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On July 01 2015 04:30 [Phantom] wrote:
Well, not the semen, but there are studdies that show that since you go through different phases of hormones it could make you sightly less or more atractive if you masturbate or not. Also since hormone and testosterone affect some other parts of the body, it could be argued that masturbating frequently and reducing your testosterone levels could make you sightly less atractive. Also hormone changes are also known to cause acne so there's that.
So all in all, no fapping won't make a super model like you, but can help in some cases to make you sightly more atractive. It won't make people that didn't like you before to like you now, but if a girl is on the verge, no fapping, and taking care of your body/skin, and you know having a hobby can help.
____
Edit, Also, fapping has a lot of psycological consecuences. A person who faps frequently is more propense to feeling sad/depressed/insecure. Or maybe a sad/insecure person is more propense to fapping idk, but that is certanly unattractive, and I bealive a big part of the "no fap" success is that people start to get away from their insecurities.
So much pseudo science in just three paragraphs. I salute you! You are truly a master of truthiness!
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On June 30 2015 22:43 seom wrote:
This "no-fap" bullshit is exactly that. I'm sure your general appearance, grooming, personality, style and physique are all far more important factors in picking up woman than whether you have masturbated in the last 3 weeks. c'mon guys.
This stuff is eerily reminiscent of the BS that littered the pua thread..
I think we were talking about porn? EDIT: But I guess for 99% guys on this forum fapping=porn. It makes dating a lot more enjoyable for sure when i cut it out completely, and I am attracted to women significantly more (and therefore motivated to go talk to them/it's more fun - and they in return sense that and are attracted back more).
And where your girlfriends boobies are the only boobies you know, they also become the best boobies in the world. So I think for committed dating it's awesome to cut porn.
Btw I tried nofap completely
And regular masturbation with cutting out porn
And the effect is pretty much the same - from my own experience porn is the issue, not masturbating. I fantasize about the girl I date mostly, with some of previous encounters mixed in sometimes ;P
On July 01 2015 03:46 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote:
You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym. I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix". Errr.... Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
...
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life. And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls.
I'm studying the impact of testosterone now, and compound strength excercises increase it rapidly, and just like with removing porn, you will get more attracted to women and be more prone to action.
I noticed that I became complacent since I've been dating the girl I keep mentioning, my activity's dropped gained weight, eat sugar a lot more, stopped working out and went with slow running instead.
So now I removed porn completely, drink max 1 drink on a night out but never get drunk, today I bought shitload of eggs and will switch to high cholesterol low grain/sugar diet, and when i go running I do max sprints followed by walking. And I try to have proper deep sleep but fail mostly with that so far. And only after like a week I can feel being more attracted to women in general, they smile back a lot more because my body language has changed I guess?
And when I went to practice social skills in town yesterday (just go to a bar alone with a goal of approaching 10 random people. Well women mostly - with no goal but to approach them and try to have a conversation) i felt a lot more excited than a week back.
From what I read manipulating your hormones and especially testosterone is important to be attracted to women and taking action (and in turn them being attracted to you more because of your body language), a lot moreso than just focusing on e.g. Dota and being happy with it, even tho that's cool too.
You are not doing it to impress women who mostly don't give a fuck about my massive bicep (pfff :/), but for you to enjoy dating and be motivated/confident and prone to action more
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On June 30 2015 23:14 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
Yeah agree, nofap is pretty bs.
Groom yourself / use facewash to clean your face. Charcoal is really good for it.
Get decent clothes, there is a fashion advice on this site if you're unsure.
Cut your hair.
Don't smell
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
And finally, get an interest that is actually interesting. If you get the question "what's your hobby" and you answer:
Friends/Music/movies/gaming you're actually so uninteresting and generic tbh. Talk about something that is a bit more unique to you.
If you practice this for a year you will end up a 6 or 7 out of 10. The rest is sort of up to genetics and facial structures and stuff. I've seen what people would describe as 3/4's get really attractive like 8/9 females before
Those guys are probably millionaires, but personality certainly can help.
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On July 01 2015 06:39 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:14 arb wrote:On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
Yeah agree, nofap is pretty bs.
Groom yourself / use facewash to clean your face. Charcoal is really good for it.
Get decent clothes, there is a fashion advice on this site if you're unsure.
Cut your hair.
Don't smell
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
And finally, get an interest that is actually interesting. If you get the question "what's your hobby" and you answer:
Friends/Music/movies/gaming you're actually so uninteresting and generic tbh. Talk about something that is a bit more unique to you.
If you practice this for a year you will end up a 6 or 7 out of 10. The rest is sort of up to genetics and facial structures and stuff. I've seen what people would describe as 3/4's get really attractive like 8/9 females before Those guys are probably millionaires, but personality certainly can help.
no i mean broke poor whatever you want to call it
a lot can be done with how you present yourself and how much bullshit you can throw out imo.
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On July 01 2015 06:39 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:14 arb wrote:On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
Yeah agree, nofap is pretty bs.
Groom yourself / use facewash to clean your face. Charcoal is really good for it.
Get decent clothes, there is a fashion advice on this site if you're unsure.
Cut your hair.
Don't smell
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
And finally, get an interest that is actually interesting. If you get the question "what's your hobby" and you answer:
Friends/Music/movies/gaming you're actually so uninteresting and generic tbh. Talk about something that is a bit more unique to you.
If you practice this for a year you will end up a 6 or 7 out of 10. The rest is sort of up to genetics and facial structures and stuff. I've seen what people would describe as 3/4's get really attractive like 8/9 females before Those guys are probably millionaires, but personality certainly can help.
haha yeah
when i was living in korea i would always see a butt ugly guy walking around holding hands with a 8+ girl and i would always assume he either had a massive penis or was loaded
its a terrible generalisation but korean girls arent exactly known for being sincere and down to earth so...when you apply the stereotype you get funny thoughts when you see these sorts of couples
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Korean girls love massive penises?
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On July 01 2015 09:53 IgnE wrote:
Korean girls love massive penises?
id imagine that theyd be curious at the very least
i mean when the countrys average penis size is probably like 4-5 inches and then you find a guy who comes along and his penis happens to be 6inch+ (ok not massive by western standards), i think some girls would probably give it a whirl
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United States15275 Posts
On July 01 2015 06:39 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:14 arb wrote:On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
Yeah agree, nofap is pretty bs.
Groom yourself / use facewash to clean your face. Charcoal is really good for it.
Get decent clothes, there is a fashion advice on this site if you're unsure.
Cut your hair.
Don't smell
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
And finally, get an interest that is actually interesting. If you get the question "what's your hobby" and you answer:
Friends/Music/movies/gaming you're actually so uninteresting and generic tbh. Talk about something that is a bit more unique to you.
If you practice this for a year you will end up a 6 or 7 out of 10. The rest is sort of up to genetics and facial structures and stuff. I've seen what people would describe as 3/4's get really attractive like 8/9 females before Those guys are probably millionaires, but personality certainly can help.
Getting really attractive girls doesn't mean that much. A lot of those guys suffer from insecurity; they're paranoid that the girls are only with them for the perceived social value. And they're not wrong either. Otherwise, it's a matter of placebo.
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But the girls are also insecure; they're paranoid that the guys are only with them for their perceived social value. And they're not wrong either. Don't have kids.
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United States15275 Posts
On July 01 2015 10:33 IgnE wrote:
But the girls are also insecure; they're paranoid that the guys are only with them for their perceived social value. And they're not wrong either. Don't have kids.
huehuehue
Next thing you know, people in this thread will actually think penis size matters.
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On July 01 2015 03:46 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote:
You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym. I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix". Errr.... Show nested quote +On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
...
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
But sure, that wasn't the main point I was trying to make. The point is that you have to be satisfied with yourself, and not do stuff just because you think it might make you more attractive to girls at a bar (or wherever). It's nonsense. You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life. And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls.
Even though I agree with you on principle, I have to say that sexual desire is the underlying reason for doing anything. Why get a better job, a newer phone, a nicer car, a more attractive body? To be more desirable. Even if you're not conscious of it, your biological imperative more or less dictates everything you do.
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On July 01 2015 11:15 jeeeeohn wrote:Show nested quote +On July 01 2015 03:46 Acrofales wrote:On June 30 2015 23:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote:
You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym. I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix". Errr.... On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote:
...
Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit.
Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
But sure, that wasn't the main point I was trying to make. The point is that you have to be satisfied with yourself, and not do stuff just because you think it might make you more attractive to girls at a bar (or wherever). It's nonsense. You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life. And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls. Even though I agree with you on principle, I have to say that sexual desire is the underlying reason for doing anything. Why get a better job, a newer phone, a nicer car, a more attractive body? To be more desirable. Even if you're not conscious of it, your biological imperative more or less dictates everything you do.
Or, you know, the other various and sometimes immense benefits that come with all of those things...
Who the hell thinks the model of their phone will get them laid?
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EPT
