We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote: You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym.
I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix".
Errr....
On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote: ... Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit. Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
But sure, that wasn't the main point I was trying to make. The point is that you have to be satisfied with yourself, and not do stuff just because you think it might make you more attractive to girls at a bar (or wherever). It's nonsense.
You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life.
And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls.
Even though I agree with you on principle, I have to say that sexual desire is the underlying reason for doing anything. Why get a better job, a newer phone, a nicer car, a more attractive body? To be more desirable. Even if you're not conscious of it, your biological imperative more or less dictates everything you do.
Or, you know, the other various and sometimes immense benefits that come with all of those things...
Who the hell thinks the model of their phone will get them laid?
On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote: You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym.
I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix".
Errr....
On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote: ... Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit. Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
But sure, that wasn't the main point I was trying to make. The point is that you have to be satisfied with yourself, and not do stuff just because you think it might make you more attractive to girls at a bar (or wherever). It's nonsense.
You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life.
And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls.
Even though I agree with you on principle, I have to say that sexual desire is the underlying reason for doing anything. Why get a better job, a newer phone, a nicer car, a more attractive body? To be more desirable. Even if you're not conscious of it, your biological imperative more or less dictates everything you do.
It's a consideration and a benefit, but to say I do those things for the sole purpose of pulling women is pretty shallow. What if it doesn't pan out like I'd hoped? I'd have been happier just going up to women and chatting them up, if that's all I wanted.
On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote: You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym.
I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix".
Errr....
On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote: ... Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit. Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
But sure, that wasn't the main point I was trying to make. The point is that you have to be satisfied with yourself, and not do stuff just because you think it might make you more attractive to girls at a bar (or wherever). It's nonsense.
You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life.
And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls.
Even though I agree with you on principle, I have to say that sexual desire is the underlying reason for doing anything. Why get a better job, a newer phone, a nicer car, a more attractive body? To be more desirable. Even if you're not conscious of it, your biological imperative more or less dictates everything you do.
Or, you know, the other various and sometimes immense benefits that come with all of those things...
Who the hell thinks the model of their phone will get them laid?
On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote: You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym.
I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix".
Errr....
On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote: ... Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit. Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
But sure, that wasn't the main point I was trying to make. The point is that you have to be satisfied with yourself, and not do stuff just because you think it might make you more attractive to girls at a bar (or wherever). It's nonsense.
You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life.
And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls.
Even though I agree with you on principle, I have to say that sexual desire is the underlying reason for doing anything. Why get a better job, a newer phone, a nicer car, a more attractive body? To be more desirable. Even if you're not conscious of it, your biological imperative more or less dictates everything you do.
Score another one for pseudoscience! Let's throw all psychology, anthropology and sociology out the window, because life is really much simpler than that, as summarized succinctly by this 90s song:
On June 30 2015 23:38 Acrofales wrote: You don't have to work out. Working out in a gym is just one of a million ways of keeping yourself in shape. If you hate the gym, like I do, go running, swimming, climbing, play football, etc. etc. etc. instead.
To be fair he never mentioned you have to go to the gym.
I myself kinda agree that you should have at least some hobby you like, probably won't matter if you're just trying to get laid but I could never stand being with someone whose only hobby was to "chill with friends and watch netflix".
Errr....
On June 30 2015 23:12 Rocket-Bear wrote: ... Work out. Don't have to be the most shreded guy, but it's obvious when people care about their appearence a bit. Taking care of how you look is just really important in general and people will judge you for it. As I said, don't have to be superfit but be somewhat in shape at least. 2-3times a week at the gym is enough. If you're new, there are a lot of guides for gym on youtube.
...
But sure, that wasn't the main point I was trying to make. The point is that you have to be satisfied with yourself, and not do stuff just because you think it might make you more attractive to girls at a bar (or wherever). It's nonsense.
You work out, have hobbies, etc. for yourself. Because being healthy and doing activities you enjoy is a generally great way of spending your life.
And yeah, someone who is happy and comfortable with himself is also more attractive to girls.
Even though I agree with you on principle, I have to say that sexual desire is the underlying reason for doing anything. Why get a better job, a newer phone, a nicer car, a more attractive body? To be more desirable. Even if you're not conscious of it, your biological imperative more or less dictates everything you do.
Or, you know, the other various and sometimes immense benefits that come with all of those things...
Who the hell thinks the model of their phone will get them laid?
Hello guys, my question isn¨t really about dating but about something very close to it. I would like to hear you opinion on love. What it is? How do you define this thing. What are the characteristics of it. I am really interested on the points of view of this complex thing.
Love in English is a more general term than in other languages. If you mean romantic love, it`s a chemical attraction we feel towards mates that encourages us to form long lasting relationships for the purpose of raising children successfully - raising a kid as a single mother, especially before welfare, was extremely tough. Even if your kid survived it would likely be stunted from malnutrition. Having your partner there to help raise it increase the chances of it surviving to adulthood, as well as not being stunted. Over a long period of time this was selected for as a helpful behavior.
On July 03 2015 06:30 Monolith5 wrote: Hello guys, my question isn¨t really about dating but about something very close to it. I would like to hear you opinion on love. What it is? How do you define this thing. What are the characteristics of it. I am really interested on the points of view of this complex thing.
I went to a hilarious lecture by a chemistry professor (followed by a Shakespeare's view on love by literature professor)
My notes:
"Chemistry of love"
Basically one of the laws thermodynamics says that complex orderly things naturally move towards simplicity. We as humans are very complex, but our cells destroy and simplify themselves until eventually we dissolve into basic elements and become a pile of carbon and water (in other words, we die ). And the only way to keep that complexity is by replicating our DNA, and reproducing to keep that complexity (kids). And the thing that drives us to do this is... you guessed it...Love.
There are 2 types of love - the "lust" caused by estrogen and teststerone. Activated and moving us towards action by neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine. . .) These neurotransmitters are very simple chemicals, they are produced quickly but dissolve just as fast. They are derived from fats - this is why Katie Dozier (edit: guest on my podcast, a poker professional) recommended a high fat low carb diet in our podcast I am sure
And the long term "love" - caused by Oxytocin and Vasopressin. That make us stay with one partner. These are much more complex chemicals and take longer time to synthesize but then stay for longer.
Neither is really a choice but mere chemical reactions. For example a male of one breed of hamster is monogamous, staying with one partner for life. And another breed is a Total James bond, doing the nasty with 4 hamster ladies per day and then moving on into the sunset.
It just means that receptors for vasopressin are stronger with the monogamous one, and weak with the James bond one. When they increased the levels of vasopressin in the whore hamster he became monogamous and vice versa
So next time you cheat on your wife with that bimbo you saw from a poker table at Vegas, just tell the wife it's not your fault but something in your food made your testosterone levels high and vasopressin temporarily low and you had no conscious choice on the matter.
Ha. Funny how sometimes stuff just randomly seem to work out.
Back story: I have been single for years (not counting the - very occasional - one night stand here and there). After those 6-7 years of celibacy, I met a cool girl and we started dating. A few months passed until we realised that it just wasn't gonna work, so we split. And after only approx. 3 weeks of being single, I've met another awesome girl and I'm now dating her.
So weird: nothing for years, and suddenly I seem to have success with women (well, with 2 of them at least ^^ ). What I find especially puzzling is that I don't think I've changed anything to how I look/behave. It just... happened.
Maybe I did change a bit. It doesn't feel like it, but then again I might be too close to the subject (myself) to realize exactly if/what I changed.
Also, yeah I've gotten older, but I didn't think 27 years old was the sweet spot for dating! :p Quite the opposite, you probably have way more opportunities at 21-23 than at 27.
Got a date on Sunday. Another girl from my university city which is nice! Hopefully she is cute in real, I feel this is the most nervy thing about Tinder, you never know how they will look in real. This is probably the girl I've had most in common with so far regarding hobbies and such too.
On July 03 2015 22:03 LoneYoShi wrote: Ha. Funny how sometimes stuff just randomly seem to work out.
Back story: I have been single for years (not counting the - very occasional - one night stand here and there). After those 6-7 years of celibacy, I met a cool girl and we started dating. A few months passed until we realised that it just wasn't gonna work, so we split. And after only approx. 3 weeks of being single, I've met another awesome girl and I'm now dating her.
So weird: nothing for years, and suddenly I seem to have success with women (well, with 2 of them at least ^^ ). What I find especially puzzling is that I don't think I've changed anything to how I look/behave. It just... happened.
You definitely changed, the cause is the girl you dated - you know you can do it, gained experience and it reflects in your body language etc.
Currently at 1 year and 8 months with my first and only girlfriend. Like the guy above, stuff just didn't work out for me before i was in college-- even though "on paper" I had a lot of things going for me.
Key for me was not to force anything; as Yoshi said, it just happens. Being in a long term committed relationship is pretty fun ^^
EPT
![[image loading]](http://zagg-blog.s3.amazonaws.com/community/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/cellphone1.jpg)
). And the only way to keep that complexity is by replicating our DNA, and reproducing to keep that complexity (kids). And the thing that drives us to do this is... you guessed it...Love. 
