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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
You have succeeded in confusing me. You are a fake girl who got dumped for a real girl who got dumped and you almost got not dumped but then he pissed you off so you are over. Then a cute guy invites you somewhere you didn't go but he got your number and didn't respond and you were sad. Then there is a guy who is desperately trying to give you the d, (have I misinterpreted?) but you think he's creepy so that's not happening either.
Some questions
How are you a fake girl?
How did the guy get your number if you missed the panel?
How do you know when he is around. Like is there just one place where everyone hangs out and you know he is gonna be there but have nowhere else to go?
General advice if my interpretation is correct
First let's start with your ex. You were thinking about getting back together but he did something to piss you off. Was this something major i.e. a complete dealbreaker? Or was it something minor you are getting really worked up over? Is it something which you can forgive him over? In that case, your ex and you could still be a thing.
Do you think you have fucked up and he would be justified in not wanting to deal with your shit(from his PoV)? Or is what he did unforgivable? In that case your ex shall remain your ex.
Second, the cute guy. Do you think he is just pissed off at you because you rejected (in his mind) his invite to hang out at the panel? If so did you get the opportunity to explain. Does he seem the type of person who would not forgive that? If so, this is a dead end.
Has it been less than 3 days since he got your number? Does he seem chill and not a grudge bearing type? Was he really into you? If so maybe he will call
Third, the creeper. Is he really creepy or is it in your head? Is he actually not bad, but his eagerness to be with you is making him undesirable? Are you judging him unfairly? Do you want casual sex? If any of these is true, he is a good option.
Do you think it would make you seem easy if you were to accept his advances? Does he geniunely seem like a creep. Is his behavior out of the ordinary or are you uncomfortable with it? If so, he is not an option
Advice if you just wanna get laid.
Go to a bar, if you're not ugly someone will make a move. Or you're just really unlucky.
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On July 06 2015 15:50 Shiragaku wrote:
I got back from Anime Expo.
Firstly I would say to stop looking for guys at anime places, sure you might have things in common but you really CAN'T expect them not to be a bit weird/creepy etc. I'm not super knowledgeable about the anime expo culture but from my own experiences every person who has been into anime stuff have been a bit odd. To me it's like trying to find a chubby guy then you go to a bodybuilding competition to look for guys. What do you expect will happen?
Not to mention that they probably won't live close to you since you all travel to the expo. Who in their right mind wants to do a LDR?
He is your ex, you should stop talking to him because you seem unable to keep it together.
which is leading me to believe that this is over
What? He is your ex, it already is over.
I got no call back from him leaving me hella sad
How long did you wait? If it's more than one week of not calling I'd say the probability is fairly low he will do it later.
there is this guy I met there who added me on FB who will not stop messaging me with shit about hanging out
It's clear you don't want anything to do with him. Tell him you're not interested, you're just leading him on if you're still talking to him. If he doesn't stop, block him.
Also, how often do you approach people yourself? Approach people outside of the anime expos you go to if you want a real relationship. If you want to get laid go to the club, walk up to a guy you think is hot, ask if he wants to fuck, go home, fuck.
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On July 06 2015 16:42 manicmessiah wrote:
You have succeeded in confusing me. You are a fake girl who got dumped for a real girl who got dumped and you almost got not dumped but then he pissed you off so you are over. Then a cute guy invites you somewhere you didn't go but he got your number and didn't respond and you were sad. Then there is a guy who is desperately trying to give you the d, (have I misinterpreted?) but you think he's creepy so that's not happening either.
Some questions
How are you a fake girl?
How did the guy get your number if you missed the panel?
How do you know when he is around. Like is there just one place where everyone hangs out and you know he is gonna be there but have nowhere else to go?
General advice if my interpretation is correct
First let's start with your ex. You were thinking about getting back together but he did something to piss you off. Was this something major i.e. a complete dealbreaker? Or was it something minor you are getting really worked up over? Is it something which you can forgive him over? In that case, your ex and you could still be a thing.
Do you think you have fucked up and he would be justified in not wanting to deal with your shit(from his PoV)? Or is what he did unforgivable? In that case your ex shall remain your ex.
Second, the cute guy. Do you think he is just pissed off at you because you rejected (in his mind) his invite to hang out at the panel? If so did you get the opportunity to explain. Does he seem the type of person who would not forgive that? If so, this is a dead end.
Has it been less than 3 days since he got your number? Does he seem chill and not a grudge bearing type? Was he really into you? If so maybe he will call
Third, the creeper. Is he really creepy or is it in your head? Is he actually not bad, but his eagerness to be with you is making him undesirable? Are you judging him unfairly? Do you want casual sex? If any of these is true, he is a good option.
Do you think it would make you seem easy if you were to accept his advances? Does he geniunely seem like a creep. Is his behavior out of the ordinary or are you uncomfortable with it? If so, he is not an option
Advice if you just wanna get laid.
Go to a bar, if you're not ugly someone will make a move. Or you're just really unlucky.
1. I am trans but I will not call myself a "girl" or "woman" not matter how hard those involved in anti-discrimination may try to convince you, transwomen are not women. This is something I do not want to get to talk too much about in this thread though.
2. We missed the panel because it was a late night panel and those are often filled up super fast with people lining up 2-3 hour before it begins.
3. Most of us have the same friends so when the group is together, he is often there. But talking from personal experience, I make an effort to make sure when I am doing basic stuff like going home or picking something up that a buddy is with me just in case the person I am avoiding does not volunteer to accompany me.
In regards to my ex, what he did was so embarrassing, I do not even feel comfortable talking about it here. It was the kind of thing that just made me go "Do I want something this weird, even for someone like me to be with me" and "Do I want to be associated with this kind of activity." I am still a bit embarrassed and angry, but I still have some feelings, but certainly not as strong as they one were obviously.
The second guy, I do not think he feels or should feel rejected because it was super late and he was the one making the moves. If anything, I am the one that feels rejected. It seems like he was either leading me on, just trying to be nice, or simply forgot altogether.
The creepy guy is not in my head. He is not a bad guy, it seems like he is guilting you into doing something with him so you cannot tell him to go fuck himself and end it there the same way you can to someone who grabs your ass. I am not too sure what he is trying to do exactly, but it feels like he is trying to use his depression to bring me closer to him in a unsettling way because I know that this is not just another guy who is simply asking for sympathy. The issue here right now is just trying to get the message across to him that I am not interested in him and that he is creeping the fuck out of me.
In regards to getting laid, I do not want to since I am still a virgin and I value it for some reason and it is horrifying how easy it is to get laid in LA, Hollywood especially which just makes one night stands completely undesirable and frankly, really scary.
oh wow, this is a rather weird and incredibly awkward situation.
Not to mention that they probably won't live close to you since you all travel to the expo. Who in their right mind wants to do a LDR?
It's SoCal and most of the people happen to be in LA County or at the furthest, Orange County.
What? He is your ex, it already is over.
I will definitely take that into consideration now. Dunno why I did not think of this before.
How long did you wait? If it's more than one week of not calling I'd say the probability is fairly low he will do it later.
It's been 3 days now.
It's clear you don't want anything to do with him. Tell him you're not interested, you're just leading him on if you're still talking to him. If he doesn't stop, block him.
All right, I will try to tell him to leave me alone. I do feel bad for him though.
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On July 06 2015 17:09 Shiragaku wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2015 16:42 manicmessiah wrote:
You have succeeded in confusing me. You are a fake girl who got dumped for a real girl who got dumped and you almost got not dumped but then he pissed you off so you are over. Then a cute guy invites you somewhere you didn't go but he got your number and didn't respond and you were sad. Then there is a guy who is desperately trying to give you the d, (have I misinterpreted?) but you think he's creepy so that's not happening either.
Some questions
How are you a fake girl?
How did the guy get your number if you missed the panel?
How do you know when he is around. Like is there just one place where everyone hangs out and you know he is gonna be there but have nowhere else to go?
General advice if my interpretation is correct
First let's start with your ex. You were thinking about getting back together but he did something to piss you off. Was this something major i.e. a complete dealbreaker? Or was it something minor you are getting really worked up over? Is it something which you can forgive him over? In that case, your ex and you could still be a thing.
Do you think you have fucked up and he would be justified in not wanting to deal with your shit(from his PoV)? Or is what he did unforgivable? In that case your ex shall remain your ex.
Second, the cute guy. Do you think he is just pissed off at you because you rejected (in his mind) his invite to hang out at the panel? If so did you get the opportunity to explain. Does he seem the type of person who would not forgive that? If so, this is a dead end.
Has it been less than 3 days since he got your number? Does he seem chill and not a grudge bearing type? Was he really into you? If so maybe he will call
Third, the creeper. Is he really creepy or is it in your head? Is he actually not bad, but his eagerness to be with you is making him undesirable? Are you judging him unfairly? Do you want casual sex? If any of these is true, he is a good option.
Do you think it would make you seem easy if you were to accept his advances? Does he geniunely seem like a creep. Is his behavior out of the ordinary or are you uncomfortable with it? If so, he is not an option
Advice if you just wanna get laid.
Go to a bar, if you're not ugly someone will make a move. Or you're just really unlucky. 1. I am trans but I will not call myself a "girl" or "woman" not matter how hard those involved in anti-discrimination may try to convince you, transwomen are not women. This is something I do not want to get to talk too much about in this thread though. 2. We missed the panel because it was a late night panel and those are often filled up super fast with people lining up 2-3 hour before it begins. 3. Most of us have the same friends so when the group is together, he is often there. But talking from personal experience, I make an effort to make sure when I am doing basic stuff like going home or picking something up that a buddy is with me just in case the person I am avoiding does not volunteer to accompany me. In regards to my ex, what he did was so embarrassing, I do not even feel comfortable talking about it here. It was the kind of thing that just made me go "Do I want something this weird, even for someone like me to be with me" and "Do I want to be associated with this kind of activity." I am still a bit embarrassed and angry, but I still have some feelings, but certainly not as strong as they one were obviously. The second guy, I do not think he feels or should feel rejected because it was super late and he was the one making the moves. If anything, I am the one that feels rejected. It seems like he was either leading me on, just trying to be nice, or simply forgot altogether. The creepy guy is not in my head. He is not a bad guy, it seems like he is guilting you into doing something with him so you cannot tell him to go fuck himself and end it there the same way you can to someone who grabs your ass. I am not too sure what he is trying to do exactly, but it feels like he is trying to use his depression to bring me closer to him in a unsettling way because I know that this is not just another guy who is simply asking for sympathy. The issue here right now is just trying to get the message across to him that I am not interested in him and that he is creeping the fuck out of me. In regards to getting laid, I do not want to since I am still a virgin and I value it for some reason and it is horrifying how easy it is to get laid in LA, Hollywood especially which just makes one night stands completely undesirable and frankly, really scary. oh wow, this is a rather weird and incredibly awkward situation.
I don't have much for ya on the first 2 but what have you tried to do/say to get the message across so far on 'the creeper'?
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I am trans
Well this changes a lot... I have one or two trap friends, they seem to be doing quite well in the dating department however I think they mostly try to date online. I think this might be your safest bet.
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On July 06 2015 17:14 GreenHorizons wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2015 17:09 Shiragaku wrote:On July 06 2015 16:42 manicmessiah wrote:
You have succeeded in confusing me. You are a fake girl who got dumped for a real girl who got dumped and you almost got not dumped but then he pissed you off so you are over. Then a cute guy invites you somewhere you didn't go but he got your number and didn't respond and you were sad. Then there is a guy who is desperately trying to give you the d, (have I misinterpreted?) but you think he's creepy so that's not happening either.
Some questions
How are you a fake girl?
How did the guy get your number if you missed the panel?
How do you know when he is around. Like is there just one place where everyone hangs out and you know he is gonna be there but have nowhere else to go?
General advice if my interpretation is correct
First let's start with your ex. You were thinking about getting back together but he did something to piss you off. Was this something major i.e. a complete dealbreaker? Or was it something minor you are getting really worked up over? Is it something which you can forgive him over? In that case, your ex and you could still be a thing.
Do you think you have fucked up and he would be justified in not wanting to deal with your shit(from his PoV)? Or is what he did unforgivable? In that case your ex shall remain your ex.
Second, the cute guy. Do you think he is just pissed off at you because you rejected (in his mind) his invite to hang out at the panel? If so did you get the opportunity to explain. Does he seem the type of person who would not forgive that? If so, this is a dead end.
Has it been less than 3 days since he got your number? Does he seem chill and not a grudge bearing type? Was he really into you? If so maybe he will call
Third, the creeper. Is he really creepy or is it in your head? Is he actually not bad, but his eagerness to be with you is making him undesirable? Are you judging him unfairly? Do you want casual sex? If any of these is true, he is a good option.
Do you think it would make you seem easy if you were to accept his advances? Does he geniunely seem like a creep. Is his behavior out of the ordinary or are you uncomfortable with it? If so, he is not an option
Advice if you just wanna get laid.
Go to a bar, if you're not ugly someone will make a move. Or you're just really unlucky. 1. I am trans but I will not call myself a "girl" or "woman" not matter how hard those involved in anti-discrimination may try to convince you, transwomen are not women. This is something I do not want to get to talk too much about in this thread though. 2. We missed the panel because it was a late night panel and those are often filled up super fast with people lining up 2-3 hour before it begins. 3. Most of us have the same friends so when the group is together, he is often there. But talking from personal experience, I make an effort to make sure when I am doing basic stuff like going home or picking something up that a buddy is with me just in case the person I am avoiding does not volunteer to accompany me. In regards to my ex, what he did was so embarrassing, I do not even feel comfortable talking about it here. It was the kind of thing that just made me go "Do I want something this weird, even for someone like me to be with me" and "Do I want to be associated with this kind of activity." I am still a bit embarrassed and angry, but I still have some feelings, but certainly not as strong as they one were obviously. The second guy, I do not think he feels or should feel rejected because it was super late and he was the one making the moves. If anything, I am the one that feels rejected. It seems like he was either leading me on, just trying to be nice, or simply forgot altogether. The creepy guy is not in my head. He is not a bad guy, it seems like he is guilting you into doing something with him so you cannot tell him to go fuck himself and end it there the same way you can to someone who grabs your ass. I am not too sure what he is trying to do exactly, but it feels like he is trying to use his depression to bring me closer to him in a unsettling way because I know that this is not just another guy who is simply asking for sympathy. The issue here right now is just trying to get the message across to him that I am not interested in him and that he is creeping the fuck out of me. In regards to getting laid, I do not want to since I am still a virgin and I value it for some reason and it is horrifying how easy it is to get laid in LA, Hollywood especially which just makes one night stands completely undesirable and frankly, really scary. oh wow, this is a rather weird and incredibly awkward situation. I don't have much for ya on the first 2 but what have you tried to do/say to get the message across so far on 'the creeper'?
I mostly try to give short answers without being mean and ignore me as long as possible.
Also, how often do you approach people yourself?
Almost never, I generally wait and hope. Ever since I started getting into fashion, things have been looking up in terms of being able to present myself better physically, it's actually dating which has been problematic.
On July 06 2015 17:16 bloodwhore~ wrote:Well this changes a lot... I have one or two trap friends, they seem to be doing quite well in the dating department however I think they mostly try to date online. I think this might be your safest bet.
Guess I will start up an account pretty soon. The idea still seems rather odd to me, but I guess I can accept that. Thanks
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On July 06 2015 17:20 Shiragaku wrote:Almost never, I generally wait and hope.
This would probably work if you were a 'real' female as you put it. However your dating pool is a smaller and I think it's very unwise to just wait. I honestly don't even think you should complain unless you are putting yourself out there either as harsh as it might sound.
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I mostly try to give short answers without being mean and ignore me as long as possible.
Might want try actually telling him you're not interested in dating him. Doesn't really sound like a "creeper" other than that term gets thrown around a lot for when someone isn't attracted to someone who is attracted to them.
Now if you outright tell him and let him know that his persistence makes you uncomfortable to be around and he continues then sure, but you're hanging out with the guy and haven't said you're not interested sooo....
This isn't like some random guy at a bar who added you on facebook and is liking and obsessively commenting on 4 year old photos. Sounds more just socially awkward and persistent.
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Unless you're a twelve year old girl, an anime expo is the last place you should pick up guys.
And do post here more often. I'm far removed from the transgender-'scene', and I'm interested to learn. It's interesting to have a perspective here that isn't male, since it's mostly guys posting here.
Since I can't contribute here any more (the 2,5 same girls since.... February maybe?), I'm mainly just lurking.
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On July 06 2015 15:17 evilfatsh1t wrote:
the fact that you guys talked for 3 hours seems like a pretty clear indication of how much she enjoys your company
In that case: yes.
Normally: not really.
It's called the sunk cost fallacy. I think most marriages are based on that.
The idea is that you want to get 'your money's worth' after investing some time or money into something, like you keep on putting money into a piece of trash car 'because I've already put so much money into it.
I've wasted four hours on a date once when it was pretty clear after 15 minutes that we weren't going to enjoy each other.
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I am chatting since a month now with the same girl, she says we can meet for the first time in august. I am curious how it turns out. I enjoy chatting with her.
I still love my ex, and I hope that stops at some point. At randoms points at the days I remember things she did or say, and I always think she was amazing. I truely could be myself with her. It's weird how things grow like this, in the beginning I fell in love with her, and after 1,5 years I loved her. I had so many plans for us, it's very sad. I don't know how I can get a relationship like that again, when there's no girl on earth as cool as her.
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On July 06 2015 22:35 unsaeglich wrote:
I am chatting since a month now with the same girl, she says we can meet for the first time in august. I am curious how it turns out. I enjoy chatting with her.
I still love my ex, and I hope that stops at some point. At randoms points at the days I remember things she did or say, and I always think she was amazing. I truely could be myself with her. It's weird how things grow like this, in the beginning I fell in love with her, and after 1,5 years I loved her. I had so many plans for us, it's very sad. I don't know how I can get a relationship like that again, when there's no girl on earth as cool as her.
You think that and then you get to your next amazing relationship and it's even better. Give others a chance, even if you have to act in the beginning.
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On July 06 2015 21:43 SixStrings wrote:
Unless you're a twelve year old girl, an anime expo is the last place you should pick up guys.
And do post here more often. I'm far removed from the transgender-'scene', and I'm interested to learn. It's interesting to have a perspective here that isn't male, since it's mostly guys posting here.
Since I can't contribute here any more (the 2,5 same girls since.... February maybe?), I'm mainly just lurking.
What happen? Stable, or you gave up for the time being?
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thanks, I will keep that in mind
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On July 06 2015 21:43 SixStrings wrote:
Unless you're a twelve year old girl, an anime expo is the last place you should pick up guys.
And do post here more often. I'm far removed from the transgender-'scene', and I'm interested to learn. It's interesting to have a perspective here that isn't male, since it's mostly guys posting here.
Since I can't contribute here any more (the 2,5 same girls since.... February maybe?), I'm mainly just lurking.
How come you manage to make everything sound fucked up. 2 1/2 girls. Are you Hannibal Lecter?
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On July 06 2015 22:47 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2015 21:43 SixStrings wrote:
Unless you're a twelve year old girl, an anime expo is the last place you should pick up guys.
And do post here more often. I'm far removed from the transgender-'scene', and I'm interested to learn. It's interesting to have a perspective here that isn't male, since it's mostly guys posting here.
Since I can't contribute here any more (the 2,5 same girls since.... February maybe?), I'm mainly just lurking. What happen? Stable, or you gave up for the time being?
I gave up. I'm moving abroad for a job after school in October and girls either demand that I commit to a long distance thing or they just straight up leave me. So I'll just have to be girlfriendless for the foreseeable future. Makes me feel rather lonely, to be honest. But so be it.
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On July 06 2015 22:56 SixStrings wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2015 22:47 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:On July 06 2015 21:43 SixStrings wrote:
Unless you're a twelve year old girl, an anime expo is the last place you should pick up guys.
And do post here more often. I'm far removed from the transgender-'scene', and I'm interested to learn. It's interesting to have a perspective here that isn't male, since it's mostly guys posting here.
Since I can't contribute here any more (the 2,5 same girls since.... February maybe?), I'm mainly just lurking. What happen? Stable, or you gave up for the time being? I gave up. I'm moving abroad for a job after school in October and girls either demand that I commit to a long distance thing or they just straight up leave me. So I'll just have to be girlfriendless for the foreseeable future. Makes me feel rather lonely, to be honest. But so be it.
How about hookups
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Are you offering?
Well, I don't see the point. I have a companion I see a couple of times a week and another lady friend whom I see every other weekend, so no point in an active search.
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On July 06 2015 21:48 SixStrings wrote:
In that case: yes.
Normally: not really.
She didn't want to go there since she is going to work almost everyday and the weather is going to be kinda shitty (rainy) next week. But we're going to the cinema on wednesday 
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Good luck, seems promising.
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EPT
