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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
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3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 17 2015 07:32 JoeCool wrote:
Last saturday I've visited a friend of mine and she introduced me to her best friend, a 29 year old girl. The following day my friend told me, that the girl was/is interested in me and complimented about my looks/perfume/character/etc. when the two of them were alone.
Now the first problem is her relationship status, she wants to break up with her "boyfriend" - or already broke up with him - but according to him they are still a couple. So it's basically like this: she says she is single and he says she's not.
Second problem, the guy is a monster. He is like 6.7 ft (2 metres) high and 286 lbs (130kgs) heavy, indepted, a bouncer and has already been to jail multiple times.
On one hand and after all the things I've heard from my friend I'm convinced that they are not a real couple anymore, it's basically just him beeing an agressive prick and she's scared. Which is why I believe that their might be a chance.
On the other hand ... I'm not so sure about her. And I kinda love my life so I do not want to end it soonish.
I'd stay away really. If you see her again somehow, just casually ask her out on a date, don't meddle with that stuff.
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On June 17 2015 06:40 zdarr wrote:Show nested quote +On June 13 2015 11:43 GoTuNk! wrote:On June 13 2015 11:33 Zooper31 wrote:On June 13 2015 00:40 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On June 12 2015 17:14 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Being a virgin isn't something that has bothered me at all, if I wanted just to lose it I would have done it a long time ago. However now I don't really give a shit anymore. I'm more worried that it will scare her away. Do you think I should tell her before or after. During is probably a very bad idea. I would tell her first... plenty of women find it cute or endearing or respectable or exciting, rather than running away. Or they don't really give a shit. Agreed. If you don't tell her, she's probably going to assume your shit in bed and had no clue what you were doing. It's going to make things awkward during sex too because she's going to assume you know what you're doing and it's gonna be weird when you can't even put it in... Just tell her right before the fact so she has a clue on how to proceed. I think you should tell her ONLY if she seems really experienced and the kind of girl who would like to take control in the situation. Sex is both exiting and very scary for woman, even not virgin ones, and saying something like that will def put most of them off; you can tell her afterwards. why only ? I was kinda stressed about it but i told the girl and she was fine with it. It amused her it stressed me. I told my story to a lot of different girl since then and they all agreed to say they couldn't care less. Girls care less about that then men (meeting a virgin girl) in my experience
Well what I said pretty much sums up my argument. Maybe if she brings up sexual experience and you are sharing that is ok, but saying it out of the blue just seems weird to me.
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On June 17 2015 03:23 bloodwhore~ wrote:
So I told her today. Told I never had sex, but explained why etc. She said it was really unexpected. Took it kinda well, she said she can't promise that we will have sex and it will depend on how it feels etc which is kinda obvious. We will probably do something on saturday though.
Told you it was a bad idea.
You could have already been laid had you not said that, lol.
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More and more I feel like dating and the pitfalls are things that we each have to learn individually. Like I have the same number of sexual partners as bloodwhore and would probably do the same.
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On June 17 2015 12:10 obesechicken13 wrote:
More and more I feel like dating and the pitfalls are things that we each have to learn individually. Like I have the same number of sexual partners as bloodwhore and would probably do the same.
Why though? Unless you're expecting your partner to walk you through what goes where, there's no reason to bring it up.
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Bloodwhore demonstrating why he's still a virgin.
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Bloodwhore what was your reasoning behind telling this? You don't have to lie about it when she asks but it seems that you have made everything unecessarily awkward. I never told the girl I had sex with first I was a virgin and it was all completely fine..
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A women I saw last year for like a month messaged me outta the blue on Sunday and even set up a date for us on Monday. I showed up and she did not. I tied to contact her...did not get responses.
Pro tip: When you make plans with someone and then change your mind or for whatever reason can't go, tell them. Lie if you must but just no showing and ignoring texts is rude as fuck. Delete my number [HERNAME]. You don't need it anymore
I sent that message about 3 hours after she was suppose to be there and had not responded to any texts or calls.
Too harsh or not harsh enough
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On June 17 2015 13:31 Orcasgt24 wrote:A women I saw last year for like a month messaged me outta the blue on Sunday and even set up a date for us on Monday. I showed up and she did not. I tied to contact her...did not get responses. Show nested quote +
Pro tip: When you make plans with someone and then change your mind or for whatever reason can't go, tell them. Lie if you must but just no showing and ignoring texts is rude as fuck. Delete my number [HERNAME]. You don't need it anymore
I sent that message about 3 hours after she was suppose to be there and had not responded to any texts or calls. Too harsh or not harsh enough
Unless she had a life and death emergency agreed. Rude as fuck and shows zero respect for you.
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Well don't worry she probably wasn't going to use your number again anyway.
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On June 17 2015 13:31 Orcasgt24 wrote:A women I saw last year for like a month messaged me outta the blue on Sunday and even set up a date for us on Monday. I showed up and she did not. I tied to contact her...did not get responses. Show nested quote +
Pro tip: When you make plans with someone and then change your mind or for whatever reason can't go, tell them. Lie if you must but just no showing and ignoring texts is rude as fuck. Delete my number [HERNAME]. You don't need it anymore
I sent that message about 3 hours after she was suppose to be there and had not responded to any texts or calls. Too harsh or not harsh enough
not harsh enough but appropriate response either way.
if she was actually trolling you and wanted to get a giggle out of your reaction, you being harsher would just bring more satisfaction to her and we wouldnt want that
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On June 17 2015 12:00 killa_robot wrote:
Told you it was a bad idea.
You could have already been laid had you not said that, lol.
Nothing has changed yet, we still talk as much as before. We wouldn't meet before saturday anyway.
More and more I feel like dating and the pitfalls are things that we each have to learn individually. Like I have the same number of sexual partners as bloodwhore and would probably do the same.
If this doesn't work out I probably won't tell the girl unless I'm going for a real relationship since it seems to be a bit of a
catch 22 moment.
Bloodwhore demonstrating why he's still a virgin.
We'll see, I'll report back after saturday.
Bloodwhore what was your reasoning behind telling this?
Sure, as I said before I'm after a fuck buddy. So the two different choices in my eyes:
I tell her:
She knows I'm a virgin and it's a bit easier on me, a lot of pressure is off. She knows it was my first time and that it wasn't because I just am shit in bed, probably will get a lot better.
If I don't:
She thinks I'm just really shit in bed, why would she want a fuck buddy who is shit in bed. She could possibly ask me
in the middle of the act, and I can't go "oh no I'm just shit" then if I want to continue having a fuck buddy. High damage
control would be required if I tell her after.
You guys can relax, I haven't really invested much in this. I don't want to brag but I mean I have barely started using the app. I have around 40 matches on tinder and 4 has initiated contact with me. Of those 4 I've already gone on dates with two of them one of which I told I just wanted to be friends with and I'm about to go meet another one. That's 75% success rate, probably could have been 100% if I had not waited 2 weeks to say hello back to the fourth chick however she was spanish so whatever. Other than that I've only sent one message (she didn't respond).
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Any general advice for dating a half japanese/half korean girl? She is is working here in germany at the moment.
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How about you just talk to her, and maybe ask her what she is interested in?? I realise there is a difference in cultural backgrounds but get to know her as a person bro.
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On June 17 2015 19:12 Dirt McGirt wrote:
How about you just talk to her, and maybe ask her what she is interested in?? I realise there is a difference in cultural backgrounds but get to know her as a person bro.
I talked to her, and I already know a few things about her, thats not the problem. (Aktually there isnt any actual problem)
I fully intend to treat her like any other girl I date.
Just wanted to know if there are any particular pitfalls with japanese/korean girls.
(Broad generalisation, i know)
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On June 17 2015 19:16 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2015 19:12 Dirt McGirt wrote:
How about you just talk to her, and maybe ask her what she is interested in?? I realise there is a difference in cultural backgrounds but get to know her as a person bro. I talked to her, and I already know a few things about her, thats not the problem. (Aktually there isnt any actual problem) I fully intend to treat her like any other girl I date. Just wanted to know if there are any particular pitfalls with japanese/korean girls. (Broad generalisation, i know)
I hear that half-Japanese/ half-Korean girls living in Germany are really into not being stereotyped and pre-judged.
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On June 17 2015 21:16 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2015 19:16 Snotling wrote:On June 17 2015 19:12 Dirt McGirt wrote:
How about you just talk to her, and maybe ask her what she is interested in?? I realise there is a difference in cultural backgrounds but get to know her as a person bro. I talked to her, and I already know a few things about her, thats not the problem. (Aktually there isnt any actual problem) I fully intend to treat her like any other girl I date. Just wanted to know if there are any particular pitfalls with japanese/korean girls. (Broad generalisation, i know) I hear that half-Japanese/ half-Korean girls living in Germany are really into not being stereotyped and pre-judged.
O get over yourself.
Its not stereotyping or pre-judging to assume that people from different cultures have different dating-rituals.
There are differences in "dating" to every culture, even between similar ones (european and american culture for example)
There are even studys about the relations of american ww2 soldiers and engish and german girls. and how different they were to english/german men. pretty interesting read.
And as i wrote, i already know and talked to the girl. And we get along very well. just wanted to ask if there are any things to watch out for
So stop beeing a dick on the internet and write something usefull or nothing at all^^
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is she korean/japenese raised? or was she raised in a western country.
ive dated korean raised koreans but i was born in australia so im familiar with western raised koreans too. dunno about the jap side but yeah i could probs know something
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United States15275 Posts
On June 17 2015 19:16 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2015 19:12 Dirt McGirt wrote:
How about you just talk to her, and maybe ask her what she is interested in?? I realise there is a difference in cultural backgrounds but get to know her as a person bro. I talked to her, and I already know a few things about her, thats not the problem. (Aktually there isnt any actual problem) I fully intend to treat her like any other girl I date. Just wanted to know if there are any particular pitfalls with japanese/korean girls. (Broad generalisation, i know)
Due to societal shyness and caution, romantic gestures are amplified to a degree that seems ridiculous to people unfamiliar to the culture. In Japan if you hold a door open for a woman, neighbors may gossip that you're dating; holding hands is a deeply powerful sign of love. People are also very shy and suspicious regarding open expressions of attraction. But that only matters if she was raised in Japan.
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She was eighter raised in japan and/or korea (I have yet to find out the details), and came to work in europe last winter.
I also dont know if she is in europe for the long run, or if she plans to go back soon.
Guess I will just see what happens, and ask more specific questions here if and when they arise. After all I would not know were else to ask them :D
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