EPTAlso, just be honest with yourself, and with her. The way you seem to be analyzing that "relationship" doesn't sound healthy at all. Your talk of "interest level" and extreme focus on who initiates contact reeks of PUA, which is not what you should be focusing on if you are interested in an actual relationship.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 635
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
Acrofales
Spain17993 Posts
Also, just be honest with yourself, and with her. The way you seem to be analyzing that "relationship" doesn't sound healthy at all. Your talk of "interest level" and extreme focus on who initiates contact reeks of PUA, which is not what you should be focusing on if you are interested in an actual relationship. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
| ||
|
WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
It sounds like LemOn isn't necessarily interested in an exclusive relationship, which is fine. LemOn, it sounds like you're doing a lot of good things for yourself, and it's nice to hear you're improving. I think you're making the right call by being less oppressive with the communication and dialing things back, although some people just don't like communicating through impersonal avenues. As for the weightlifting and improving other things like social skills, I see it like marketing vs. having a good product. Sure, marketing can make up for a crappy product, but it's a lot easier and more satisfying to have a good product. | ||
|
GreenHorizons
United States23238 Posts
On June 19 2015 02:58 LemOn wrote: Show me one person who can be their genuine self when they start cold approaching strangers tho :D They are out there, they are usually oblivious to how little someone actually wants to interact with them. Come to think of it there are a lot of them at AA lol. | ||
CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On June 19 2015 01:46 WarSame wrote: Fitness is definitely helpful for dating. Being fit makes you more attractive, so suggesting people get fit is valid advice to improve their dating. We already have good threads for it, though. Getting fit for dating purposes is what some circles would call a "beta" choice. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 19 2015 02:54 Acrofales wrote: Yeah. Sign up at your local AA chapter (if you can't be your *genuine self* when sober, you have a problem) and once you have sorted yourself out for real, figure out what you want with this girl and whether she wants that with you. Also, just be honest with yourself, and with her. The way you seem to be analyzing that "relationship" doesn't sound healthy at all. Your talk of "interest level" and extreme focus on who initiates contact reeks of PUA, which is not what you should be focusing on if you are interested in an actual relationship. I follow Corey Wayne pretty closely (dating coach) If I didn't I wouldn't even notice this stuff and keep it as it is, we are so great when we're actually together it's insane I( wouldn't change a thing about her besides this). Think it's pretty normal to be irrational in the first few months in a relationship, but obviously logically in the long run I want a girl that comes on time and I'm a priority for her. Why I want to take steps that will tone down my effort away from dates and see if she'll step up or if I should look somewhere else. | ||
|
GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On June 19 2015 03:08 CosmicSpiral wrote: Getting fit for dating purposes is what some circles would call a "beta" choice. Getting fit only for dating is kinda lame. That said, I'm quite sure being skinny or a fat slob isn't exactly "alpha" :p | ||
|
WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
On June 19 2015 03:08 CosmicSpiral wrote: Getting fit for dating purposes is what some circles would call a "beta" choice. They can call it that, and then they're fucking idiots. Getting fit shouldn't be primarily for dating, but if you want to be more attractive, that is in no way a beta choice. And beta is a stupid concept, anyway. | ||
|
IgnE
United States7681 Posts
| ||
|
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Sent a message to the girl today, she hasn't answered for 4 hours, and she has been online. I'm starting to think the dream is dying boys. Lesson learned, never tell them you have not had sex. Other than that I had an interesting experience, a girl started talking to me on tinder. her "is it at your place the big party is on friday?  "me "oh, the reputation gets out fast" her "haha right, thanks for the invitation... "Told her that she could come over and then after a few more messages she just went cold turkey. Okay? Not going to chase someone like that though. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Should be only a few => get her number => (call if you have the balls) = >go on a date | ||
|
GreenHorizons
United States23238 Posts
On June 19 2015 04:48 bloodwhore~ wrote: God damn it erased my entire post. Sent a message to the girl today, she hasn't answered for 4 hours, and she has been online. I'm starting to think the dream is dying boys. Lesson learned, never tell them you have not had sex. Other than that I had an interesting experience, a girl started talking to me on tinder. her "is it at your place the big party is on friday? "me "oh, the reputation gets out fast" her "haha right, thanks for the invitation... "Told her that she could come over and then after a few more messages she just went cold turkey. Okay? Not going to chase someone like that though. Well, duh? lol just giving you a hard time for listening to those guys. | ||
|
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On June 19 2015 04:56 GreenHorizons wrote: Well, duh? lol just giving you a hard time for listening to those guys. Huehue. I still think it was the right call if I wanted to get a fuck buddy, but I shouldn't have not have played that card as much as I did. I should have just made plans then take it from there. how many messages are you sending dude? Should be only a few => get her number => (call if you have the balls) = >go on a date I don't know, we haven't talked that much to be honest. We agreed that we should meet up someday fairly quickly, then she went away for a while and we talked a bit when she was away. Then I said we should meet friday or saturday, then she responded with "in that case saturday". Not sure if number is required, I think it's fine setting up the date on tinder. However it might be harder for them to reject me if I got their number. Idk, I don't think it would have mattered. I'm still learning you guys and I'm definitely a rookie, I've only been in this game for like 3 weeks. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 19 2015 05:07 bloodwhore~ wrote: Huehue. I still think it was the right call if I wanted to get a fuck buddy, but I shouldn't have not have played that card as much as I did. I should have just made plans then take it from there. I don't know, we haven't talked that much to be honest. We agreed that we should meet up someday fairly quickly, then she went away for a while and we talked a bit when she was away. Then I said we should meet friday or saturday, then she responded with "in that case saturday". Not sure if number is required, I think it's fine setting up the date on tinder. However it might be harder for them to reject me if I got their number. Idk, I don't think it would have mattered. I'm still learning you guys and I'm definitely a rookie, I've only been in this game for like 3 weeks. Imo online dating is not highest EV, and a bit of a waste of time. You gain invaluable life skills if you reach out to women you like in person and it's way faster to recognize that you're into each other. But when I was into it this made a lot of sense: | ||
|
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
| ||
|
farvacola
United States18828 Posts
On June 19 2015 04:43 IgnE wrote: I think a link is required cosmicspiral. I don't believe you. lol yes, where's the link, dawg. | ||
|
obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
On June 19 2015 05:12 LemOn wrote: Imo online dating is not highest EV, and a bit of a waste of time. You gain invaluable life skills if you reach out to women you like in person and it's way faster to recognize that you're into each other. But when I was into it this made a lot of sense: <Bideo> I don't think anyone uses emails for their dates. But it's possibly, could be completely wrong, that guys need to slow down and get to know someone before going on a date and wasting valuable time/money. It makes more sense. And while texts are easy, and laid back, and don't reveal stalls in conversation, you don't really get as much from them for your time as calls or face to face. | ||
|
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Might have to initiate contact with girls myself now. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 19 2015 05:07 bloodwhore~ wrote: Huehue. I still think it was the right call if I wanted to get a fuck buddy, but I shouldn't have not have played that card as much as I did. I should have just made plans then take it from there. I don't know, we haven't talked that much to be honest. We agreed that we should meet up someday fairly quickly, then she went away for a while and we talked a bit when she was away. Then I said we should meet friday or saturday, then she responded with "in that case saturday". Not sure if number is required, I think it's fine setting up the date on tinder. However it might be harder for them to reject me if I got their number. Idk, I don't think it would have mattered. I'm still learning you guys and I'm definitely a rookie, I've only been in this game for like 3 weeks. Do this "We should meet - does Friday or Saturday work better for you?" -"Saturday" - Okay cool, I'll meet you X time at X place, looking forward to seeing you there. And that's the last Tinder message you send to her. If you're unsure if it's a quality match. Just add - "give me your phone number in case we can't find each other". | ||
|
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On June 19 2015 19:53 LemOn wrote: Do this "We should meet - does Friday or Saturday work better for you?" -"Saturday" - Okay cool, I'll meet you X time at X place, looking forward to seeing you there. And that's the last Tinder message you send to her. If you're unsure if it's a quality match. Just add - give me your phone number in case we can't find each other. I've already sent a message that she didn't respond to and removed her. | ||
| ||
