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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 17 2015 17:19 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2015 12:00 killa_robot wrote:
Told you it was a bad idea.
You could have already been laid had you not said that, lol. Nothing has changed yet, we still talk as much as before. We wouldn't meet before saturday anyway. Show nested quote +More and more I feel like dating and the pitfalls are things that we each have to learn individually. Like I have the same number of sexual partners as bloodwhore and would probably do the same.
If this doesn't work out I probably won't tell the girl unless I'm going for a real relationship since it seems to be a bit of a catch 22 moment. We'll see, I'll report back after saturday. Sure, as I said before I'm after a fuck buddy. So the two different choices in my eyes: I tell her:She knows I'm a virgin and it's a bit easier on me, a lot of pressure is off. She knows it was my first time and that it wasn't because I just am shit in bed, probably will get a lot better. If I don't:She thinks I'm just really shit in bed, why would she want a fuck buddy who is shit in bed. She could possibly ask me in the middle of the act, and I can't go "oh no I'm just shit" then if I want to continue having a fuck buddy. High damage control would be required if I tell her after. You guys can relax, I haven't really invested much in this. I don't want to brag but I mean I have barely started using the app. I have around 40 matches on tinder and 4 has initiated contact with me. Of those 4 I've already gone on dates with two of them one of which I told I just wanted to be friends with and I'm about to go meet another one. That's 75% success rate, probably could have been 100% if I had not waited 2 weeks to say hello back to the fourth chick however she was spanish so whatever. Other than that I've only sent one message (she didn't respond).
I don't know how to ask this without it being weird so I'll just be weird...
Where would you rank yourself as far as being open to try things sexually, 1-10 (1 being strictly missionary with the lights off, 10 being it's hard to find videos of the stuff I want to do) ?
I feel like if I was in her shoes and was still considering meeting I would at least expect a non-prudish lay?
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On June 18 2015 02:15 GreenHorizons wrote:
I don't know how to ask this without it being weird so I'll just be weird...
Where would you rank yourself as far as being open to try things sexually, 1-10 (1 being strictly missionary with the lights off, 10 being it's hard to find videos of the stuff I want to do) ?
I feel like if I was in her shoes and was still considering meeting I would at least expect a non-prudish lay?
No worries. I'd say I'm like a 7 perhaps? Kind of hard to place myself anywhere since I haven't done anything yet. I'm pretty sure I won't be into scat huehue, but I'm honestly more afraid that she won't want to try some weird stuff.
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On June 18 2015 03:18 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2015 02:15 GreenHorizons wrote:
I don't know how to ask this without it being weird so I'll just be weird...
Where would you rank yourself as far as being open to try things sexually, 1-10 (1 being strictly missionary with the lights off, 10 being it's hard to find videos of the stuff I want to do) ?
I feel like if I was in her shoes and was still considering meeting I would at least expect a non-prudish lay?
No worries. I'd say I'm like a 7 perhaps? Kind of hard to place myself anywhere since I haven't done anything yet. I'm pretty sure I won't be into scat huehue, but I'm honestly more afraid that she won't want to try some weird stuff.
saying you like weird shit and then actually trying it are completely different things
a lot of things i thought id enjoy before i met my ex(who was into some uhh strange stuff) actually didnt do much for me in person. so dont just assume you're gonna want someone who is into some weird stuff if you havent actually attempted weird things yourself imo
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..I get too nervous. She invited me to this event, which wasn't really a date, but I thought the stakes were high regardless and when I showed up I immediately had to leave because I was too stressed and I found the crowd too bothersome. And when she invited me for a drink the other day I realized at some point that I really like her and I got flustered and found an excuse to leave. I suppose I'm flaky?
She had to pay for my softdrink on the two occasions so far because I forgot to bring any money, so I'm working up the courage to ask her out for a drink myself to reciprocate, but next week is my last chance because of scheduling reasons. And I'm having four wisdom teeth pulled (two surgically) this month, so I'm not entirely clear-headed, which reminds me of two years ago when I ill-advisedly conceived of asking someone out shortly after suffering a concussion that left me confabulated.
I'm hoping that my ever-present, mostly psychosomatic, injuries and health issues and confused behavior appeal to her though, since I observed she seemed to show constant concern over me, so I'm trying to play up the "helpless puppy" angle. ^_^
Is this a bad sign? She said she couldn't imagine me being rebellious because I seemed so "nice", which reading this thread normally seems to mean "boring", but she's a church-going Christian so I figured she's being sincere and she always seems very honest (and lovable!).
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I think you need to lift some weights or something, dawg.
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On June 18 2015 06:03 farvacola wrote:
I think you need to lift some weights or something, dawg.
I don't like pain, I already can't cope with dentist appointments, I don't want to add to it. 
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On June 18 2015 04:56 arb wrote:
a lot of things i thought id enjoy before i met my ex(who was into some uhh strange stuff) actually didnt do much for me in person. so dont just assume you're gonna want someone who is into some weird stuff if you havent actually attempted weird things yourself imo
Yeah I know that's why I said I don't know where to place me, it was just a guess.
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I think you have a 0% chance of sleeping with her saturday bloodwhore.
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On June 18 2015 06:01 Grumbels wrote:
..I get too nervous. She invited me to this event, which wasn't really a date, but I thought the stakes were high regardless and when I showed up I immediately had to leave because I was too stressed and I found the crowd too bothersome. And when she invited me for a drink the other day I realized at some point that I really like her and I got flustered and found an excuse to leave. I suppose I'm flaky?
She had to pay for my softdrink on the two occasions so far because I forgot to bring any money, so I'm working up the courage to ask her out for a drink myself to reciprocate, but next week is my last chance because of scheduling reasons. And I'm having four wisdom teeth pulled (two surgically) this month, so I'm not entirely clear-headed, which reminds me of two years ago when I ill-advisedly conceived of asking someone out shortly after suffering a concussion that left me confabulated.
I'm hoping that my ever-present, mostly psychosomatic, injuries and health issues and confused behavior appeal to her though, since I observed she seemed to show constant concern over me, so I'm trying to play up the "helpless puppy" angle. ^_^
Is this a bad sign? She said she couldn't imagine me being rebellious because I seemed so "nice", which reading this thread normally seems to mean "boring", but she's a church-going Christian so I figured she's being sincere and she always seems very honest (and lovable!).
Awww, she'll be a good friend and will take care of you.
No chance of porking her I'd say though
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On June 18 2015 06:14 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2015 06:03 farvacola wrote:
I think you need to lift some weights or something, dawg. I don't like pain, I already can't cope with dentist appointments, I don't want to add to it.
Weightlifting done right is hugely enjoyable, and shouldn't really hurt at all. If you try too hard when you start with will get something called DOMS which means it hurts like hell for 2 days after the workout. Just take it easy when you start.
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On June 18 2015 06:14 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2015 06:03 farvacola wrote:
I think you need to lift some weights or something, dawg. I don't like pain, I already can't cope with dentist appointments, I don't want to add to it.
You're lifting weights, not attempting to eat them.
There's no pain involved, lol.
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And if there is pain, your form is almost 100% wrong. Everyone should weightlift or do bodyweight exercises of some sort. It's very enjoyable, and makes you look better.
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On June 18 2015 10:44 WarSame wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2015 06:14 Grumbels wrote:On June 18 2015 06:03 farvacola wrote:
I think you need to lift some weights or something, dawg. I don't like pain, I already can't cope with dentist appointments, I don't want to add to it. Weightlifting done right is hugely enjoyable, and shouldn't really hurt at all. If you try too hard when you start with will get something called DOMS which means it hurts like hell for 2 days after the workout. Just take it easy when you start.
DOMS is actually the most pleasurable thing there is, second only to the pump, and coming in right above sexual intercourse.
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DOMS is great if you don't overdo it. It is almost the whole reason I work out. Stretching your sore back out in bed the day after deadlifting is almost orgasmic. However, I did calf raises for the first time earlier this year and did 4x10 of about 200 lbs. It felt fine. The next day I couldn't walk. It took me 6 days to start walking properly again, because the muscles were so sore they couldn't do the movement required.
Anyway, we might want to get away from derailing into weightlifting, even though it is pretty related to dating.
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On June 18 2015 08:01 IgnE wrote:
I think you have a 0% chance of sleeping with her saturday bloodwhore.
Thanks for letting me know.
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On June 18 2015 16:24 WarSame wrote:
DOMS is great if you don't overdo it. It is almost the whole reason I work out. Stretching your sore back out in bed the day after deadlifting is almost orgasmic. However, I did calf raises for the first time earlier this year and did 4x10 of about 200 lbs. It felt fine. The next day I couldn't walk. It took me 6 days to start walking properly again, because the muscles were so sore they couldn't do the movement required.
Anyway, we might want to get away from derailing into weightlifting, even though it is pretty related to dating.
??? No, it's not related at all. Were you being sarcastic?
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On June 18 2015 08:01 IgnE wrote:
I think you have a 0% chance of sleeping with her saturday bloodwhore.
The fact that she goes out with him at all after the confession shows there's a >0% chance. In fact, I'd say his chances are much better than if he'd gone on a 'regular' first date.
Also you're being awfully harsh on him for no apparent reason.
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On June 18 2015 17:50 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2015 16:24 WarSame wrote:
DOMS is great if you don't overdo it. It is almost the whole reason I work out. Stretching your sore back out in bed the day after deadlifting is almost orgasmic. However, I did calf raises for the first time earlier this year and did 4x10 of about 200 lbs. It felt fine. The next day I couldn't walk. It took me 6 days to start walking properly again, because the muscles were so sore they couldn't do the movement required.
Anyway, we might want to get away from derailing into weightlifting, even though it is pretty related to dating. ??? No, it's not related at all. Were you being sarcastic?
Fitness is definitely helpful for dating. Being fit makes you more attractive, so suggesting people get fit is valid advice to improve their dating. We already have good threads for it, though.
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On June 19 2015 01:46 WarSame wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2015 17:50 Grumbels wrote:On June 18 2015 16:24 WarSame wrote:
DOMS is great if you don't overdo it. It is almost the whole reason I work out. Stretching your sore back out in bed the day after deadlifting is almost orgasmic. However, I did calf raises for the first time earlier this year and did 4x10 of about 200 lbs. It felt fine. The next day I couldn't walk. It took me 6 days to start walking properly again, because the muscles were so sore they couldn't do the movement required.
Anyway, we might want to get away from derailing into weightlifting, even though it is pretty related to dating. ??? No, it's not related at all. Were you being sarcastic? Fitness is definitely helpful for dating. Being fit makes you more attractive, so suggesting people get fit is valid advice to improve their dating. We already have good threads for it, though.
It's like a secondary thing that gives you confidence - it's helpful, like anything positive you do for yourself that makes you a more attractive and healthy/happy person overall . But there are way more direct, faster and longer lasting ways to improve dating skills themselves. You know - like dating a lot for instance :p
Btw Jeez. Had the puppey love goggles on with this chick, now I realized.
She is literally late to every single date
Initiated contact twice in total in 3 months
Leaves spaces between answering messages, sometimes doesn't answer at all to a question.
On three separate occasions when I spontaneously told her I'm going to this thing and that I'd love her to join me, she says she's studying next 4 days. And that reply came after 12 hours. And yesterday she didn't come at all after my quirky text telling her where to meet me. Thought her interest level is high enough to send her a big ass over complicated text and she'd read it and I can do something dorky like that cause the interest level is high enough, but obvy I was wrong/not paying attention to her.
She's like super present at all times so that's just her. But still last couple weeks I stopped watching porn, run every day, started eating healthy, keep training social skills (promoted myself from drunk to sober. Nerve wracking, but I managed to talk to every person of interest after a lot of stress at an expat event - still can't be my genuine self when sober) and it's like my head became clear and I realized that I don't want to stand for that bullshit really - I passed on a lot of great girls that were clearly into me because of this one.
I care about her a lot tho, so my plan's to tighten up my game - no texting, no long phone calls, get to know her more on dates (was auto piloting so far not really trying that much as I was tired/not on my A game on a lot of them - I realized I stopped asking questions about her - getting laid so why try right? Wrong. ), after a date tell her to call me when she'll know when she's free again and get back to scheduled dates only. And if she's late again...just leave and tell her where to meet me and how to get there (I always plan event based dates or cool places where I'd go regardless if it's with her or not)
Comments?
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