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On March 21 2012 20:04 Black[CAT] wrote:Show nested quote +On March 21 2012 18:58 OrangeSoda wrote: Forget her, if shes screwing around with you while in a relationship with someone else shes goona do the same thing if you two end up being a couple. This. Or you can just flirt around or be fuck-buddies like I did once >.> I'm so evil for taking advantage....
What these 2 guys said.
And i think its rude to sit on the sofa too.
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If her boyfriend can beat you up, ignore her till shes actually single If not just have sex with her and she will probably break up with him, if not at least you can be fuck buddies.
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Just be straight up with her and ask her for the truth.
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I will tell you what.
Many points that were rasied here are true.
Most important is this: What do you value the most in a girl? And what are you looking for through this relationship (or potential intimate relationship)? You said she was extremely materialistic, and it seemed that you are looking for a serious(?) relationship. So first you need to be honest with yourself on two major things. What do you want? Can she fit in the relationship you are after? Then you need to be honest with her. You need to tell her that you know about her boyfriend in a very calm and serious tone. You should not ask her about it and tell her to be honest. You should approach the issue directly and show her that you know and you're expecting an answer or a response from her. Plus before you go into whether she wants to be with you or not, try to approach her about her problems because she certainly seems to have some issues going on. Show her that you studied her and are interested in listening to what she has to say, and you'll be supportive in helping her decide what she wants to do next. It is clear to me that you cannot leave her to decide because she's unable to do so by herself. She needs your help. This will help her to decide between 3 scenarios:
1- Her place is with her BF.
2- Her place is with you.
3- Her place is with neither.
Regardless of what conclusion you may or may not reach with her, you can still be friends, but at least this way everything would be clear for both of you and who knows how things will end? You must try.
Notice I did not encourage you to be "fuck buddies". Well I am against that, but that's a totally different discussion.
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Sounds like you've got a platonic friend! Congrats!
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United Arab Emirates5090 Posts
Sounds like she wants to have her current BF because he's decent and wants you around for the thrill. She wants to have you both and see how it plays out and then drop the lesser one. Seriously you should have made a move a long time ago. She realizes you're weak and will lie to your face because she can.
She sounds like trouble. If shes seeing you behind her bf's back she's gonna do the same to you with some other guy.
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Canada60 Posts
My opinion is find someone else, this Z sounds like nothing but trouble. If she's lieing to her now boyfriend, good chance she'll lie to you too.
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Go look at your winrates. Is vs Z your best matchup? If so, you will eventually be able to bend her to your will, and she will choose you over her current boyfriend. Otherwise, I would leave her alone, since she will probably defeat you and make you look stupid.
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On March 21 2012 22:18 pyrogenetix wrote: Sounds like she wants to have her current BF because he's decent and wants you around for the thrill. She wants to have you both and see how it plays out and then drop the lesser one. Seriously you should have made a move a long time ago. She realizes you're weak and will lie to your face because she can.
She sounds like trouble. If shes seeing you behind her bf's back she's gonna do the same to you with some other guy. bold mine
this post you need to pay good attention to - that's experience speaking
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move on, shes playing games. The fact shes lieing to you about her boyfriend alone should make you move on, if she is cheating on him and telling you lies, the is no reason why this wont happen when your in a relationship too...
Shes probably telling her female friends your just a friend and nothing else.. she using you for the things that she cant do with her boyfriend such as eating together watching movies...as everytime you think bugger it you go running back, and shes knows your easy prey. Back away and move on with your life and find someone else!
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looks like somebody is on the hook
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i know what shes doing dude. And she does like you, as more than a friend. However like u said she is still stuck on her boyfriend. She likes you but for the time being she wants to have you as a backup incase this really dont work out with her boyfriend, sorry to say it but thats what it is because ive been in ur situation before. As to the nature of the girl, i cant really say shes that bad, because she still hasnt slept with you despite you two being alone very very often. Not many girls can do that, id say thats a plus for her, and also we dont really know how bad her problems are with her bf but im sure its most liek constant fighting and breaking up and so on and im sure he talks to other chicks as well so she might be feeling inclined to do the same. However, if i were you i wouldnt look towards getting with her officially, because i have a feeling even if one day it happens, and she says theyre done, and you guys start dating, that dude is still gonna linger every now and then and trust me when i say you dont want that headache. So for now, take it for what it is, have fun with her and try to get laid. Thats option one, option two is just become friends with her, like seriously you should friend zone HER. That way she can keep inviting you out, and u can meet some of her friends and perhaps date them instead, all the while keeping the relationship between you to at a friendly level. Needless to say that eventually, since i can see there is alrdy chemistry between the both of you, the feelings will arise occasionally and often as flirting and so on and she will feel slightly jealous that ur seeing her friends and something in the back of her mind will want it to be her thats dating you. This benefits you because as her friend, you get to know the truth behind her relationship with her ex, and if at one point you do want to get with her, you'll know the moment you do it that hes out of her life for good and u wont have to deal with that headahce.
this is coming from someone who is currently in a relationship of 2 years with his best friend of ten. it happens man, good luck ;] keep me posted im interested hehe
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why would you want to date a girl like that who is lying to you about her boyfriend! And just ignores the fact that you even asked about it. How awkward! ahhh, can't even picture that. If you guys dated, how would you feel when you guys got into a fight (which would of course happen here and there)
I'm sure you would have a little paranoid feeling about how she might be flirting with another guy to feel better. and that ain't no good in relationships!
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she cooks you dinner AND cleans up. sorry, what's your problem again? on a more serious note, her friend's response indicates that they talked, girl intends to make things more legit with you and the friend approves of you as a choice. sometimes you just gotta say what the fuck, make your move
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On March 21 2012 23:04 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote:
Sounds like she wants to have her current BF because he's decent and wants you around for the thrill. She wants to have you both and see how it plays out and then drop the lesser one. Seriously you should have made a move a long time ago. She realizes you're weak and will lie to your face because she can.
She sounds like trouble. If shes seeing you behind her bf's back she's gonna do the same to you with some other guy.
On March 21 2012 22:18 pyrogenetix wrote (to above): bold line
this post you need to pay good attention to - that's experience speaking Usually I don't quote others in girl blogs because I love writing a lengthy opinion of my own, but this one nailed it.
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The big X factor here no one seems to have addressed is what the current relationship with her BF is. Everyone seems to be assuming that he is just some clueless joe that has no idea his GF is seeing this other guy on the side, and is just a victim. I think at this point, that probably isn't the case. For as long as this has been going on, it sounds like they probably don't have the strictest of relationships, and she might be trying to hide that fact. The BF might be in the position of having multiple girls, and she is just one of these girls, and she is there when he wants her to be and not there when he doesn't (hence the confirming and canceling of dates, etc.). I can't know that to be sure, but it is starting to sound that way. If that is the case, I imagine she is pretty insecure about the relationship, and wants you as a back-up, alternate, competition, however you want to phrase it.
In terms of what to do, I think waiting it out is a bad idea at this point. If this were a week or two in, then waiting and seeing would be fine. However, it seems like this has been going on for a while. You need to do something. The safest option is bailing. This is probably the way you should go; just cut all ties and gtfo. This will probably end messy any other way. If you still can't leave her (its easier said than done, I know) you need to let her know that you aren't happy with the situation, and let her know you want something more/different. If she isn't cool with that, then you really just have to leave, because this isn't the girl you are looking for.
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On March 21 2012 22:52 13_Doomblaze_37 wrote: Go look at your winrates. Is vs Z your best matchup? If so, you will eventually be able to bend her to your will, and she will choose you over her current boyfriend. Otherwise, I would leave her alone, since she will probably defeat you and make you look stupid.
This made me laugh pretty hard, but to answer the OP, she deffinitely isn't worth the trouble. If you're 100% sure she's dating someone, why bother with that? If she chooses you i would be willing to bet 9 times outta 10 when things get rough with you she'd end up doing the same thing to you as she's doing now. Not worth the trouble, not worth the potential heart ache etc.
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