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thanks all for ur words of wisdom.
I'm getting 3 basic philosophies from all this:
1. Drop her. She's no good. 2. Friend-zone her. Wait for a real break up and go from there. 3. Make a move.
After a lot of consideration, I think I'm going to go with 1. It's just too much bs. I'd been doing 2 for a while, but every time she claims it's a real break-up...she's been LYING. And I don't think I can be friends with her. She doesn't seem to want to be friends at all. She only calls me to do solo stuff. When she has parties and whatnot and big social things she doesn't hit me up.
I could try 3 but after thinking a long time about it, I just don't want the drama and I'm not that big a hornball.
P.S. I loled at the Z reference XD. And no, my ZvZ is mediocre T_T. More proof I should logout now! P.P.S. About washing the dishes... Three people would just be crowding the sink... and really.. in a Chinese household, what man washes dishes when there are two women around?? Kakaka!
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This sounds messy.
Steer clear!
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I agree with your course of action, this whole situation is stupid and she's pretty clearly just jerking you around. gtfo and find someone who's not full of shit.
Only other course of action is calling her more directly on her bullshit IMO. Seems like every time she lies about the boyfriend stuff you just get huffy and leave rather than actually saying, "oh, your boyfriend, eh!?" when her friend is like, "hey, where's your bf and who's this guy?" Sounds like you wanna stay non-confrontational about this though, so w/e, just drop her and move on, staying in the stupid awkward friend zone isn't doing anyone any good, least of all you.
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The real question is: Could you beat up her boyfriend? If so, then pursue. If he is bigger than you, maybe gtfo. Of course you could always resort to fighting dirty or just jumping him with some homies. Your call.
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lol... I'm 27.. nobody's getting in a fist fight. If it really came to it, I'm not worried about my chances, but I don't think it's much of an issue.
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As you said, I think you should just drop her... after you root her that is. ;D
In all seriousness, there's no point putting so much effort into a relationship where you can barely trust her, and her words are as solid as water (not too sure on the analogy T_T).
In Japan, girls wouldn't dream of doing what she's doing. :D
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seems like an obvious solution to me. just talk to her about it and tell her to make up her mind (politely) if she decides to dump him, your golden, if she 'dumps' you , then stay friends. i know things are never that easy, but that seems logical to me.
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On March 22 2012 07:36 Gprime wrote: if she 'dumps' you , then stay friends. i know things are never that easy, but that seems logical to me. double post -_-
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On March 22 2012 07:36 Gprime wrote: if she 'dumps' you , then stay friends. i know things are never that easy, but that seems logical to me. LOL. Don't. That's probably the worst advice in this blog :D
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Wow. She is being really immature. You sure you even want to see her now?
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Dammm lol this girl is trouble... Run for the hills.
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Blazinghand
United States25550 Posts
You should bail out. You really don't want to be "that guy" in this scenario.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
she is obviously ashamed at what shes doing but can't help herself because she likes u and her ex/bf/woteva is not good enough for her but is all she has/she still has lingering feelings for him
its not very nice how you're torturing her continuing to meet her without making a move or taking control
i dont think the way she's acting reflects her being 'trouble' necessarily, shes just stuck in a bad relationship and wants out
whatever u do, take action asap: either tell her ur done talking to her or make a move and go for her. doing the silly dance is just going to end up wasting both or ur time.
edit: and yes it is possible shes some super insecure psycho-path and is just jerking u around for fun, but that doesn't seem to be the case here
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BTW, OP you are like the exact copy of one of my mates, Chinese, want to be a writer, dropped out of his economics degree because he hates everyone there.
He was trying to get with this girl who had a BF, 3 years later, I checked this girl's face book. Engaged to her BF lol...
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On March 22 2012 17:17 Rekrul wrote: she is obviously ashamed at what shes doing but can't help herself because she likes u and her ex/bf/woteva is not good enough for her but is all she has/she still has lingering feelings for him
its not very nice how you're torturing her continuing to meet her without making a move or taking control
i dont think the way she's acting reflects her being 'trouble' necessarily, shes just stuck in a bad relationship and wants out
whatever u do, take action asap: either tell her ur done talking to her or make a move and go for her. doing the silly dance is just going to end up wasting both or ur time.
edit: and yes it is possible shes some super insecure psycho-path and is just jerking u around for fun, but that doesn't seem to be the case here
Yea, this...she's not happy with her boyfriend but she's not leaving him unless you make it happen.
Even then, it might not work.
There's no sense wasting another five months of your life on a dead end road, though...take control, see what happens.
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You're obviously her backup incase the current relationship goes down.
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On March 22 2012 17:17 Rekrul wrote: she is obviously ashamed at what shes doing but can't help herself because she likes u and her ex/bf/woteva is not good enough for her but is all she has/she still has lingering feelings for him
its not very nice how you're torturing her continuing to meet her without making a move or taking control
i dont think the way she's acting reflects her being 'trouble' necessarily, shes just stuck in a bad relationship and wants out
whatever u do, take action asap: either tell her ur done talking to her or make a move and go for her. doing the silly dance is just going to end up wasting both or ur time.
edit: and yes it is possible shes some super insecure psycho-path and is just jerking u around for fun, but that doesn't seem to be the case here
This man speaks the truth. Just push her to make a decision and get it over with.
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Make a move and don't look back.
Alternatively, run the hell away and don't look back.
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Women lie just as much as men.
It comes down to personal preference. I have a lot of integrity and honor and my worst vice is pride.
If I had known she was doing that, I wouldn't look back. Put yourself in stupid situations like that and she's asking for it.
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