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On November 25 2011 01:05 GreEny K wrote:Show nested quote +On November 24 2011 17:32 zZygote wrote:
First dates are always a given, 50/50. Any other time I think it's alright in a relationship to pay for the other and what-not but not to the extent where the woman feels like she's being "bought". I'd also make an honest effort to ask if she could do the same for me. Spliting costs in a relationship should be mutual. I would say that first date is always the guy paying for it, not 50/50. That's how it's been for me at least, i think most people would agree with me on that.
It is chivalrous for the guy to pay on the first date, but I think going 50/50 is the best bet, as if you pay for the first date, it kinda sets the scene for any other following dates. Unless otherwise agreed on. If you pay for the first date, and ask for a second date, she may expect you to pay for it too. I think after the initial date it is okay to start paying for each other so long as you keep the ratio roughly even.
Thats just my outlook on it though.
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Women are supposed to have equal rights to men, and atleast here they do. But nowadays its even more than that. Women with the mindset of 'men having to do' what they are not willing to, are just wrong. And men that fall into that trap are fools. I dont mean men who are happy paying everything if they want. I mean those guys who feel obligated to pay, just because the woman expects him to, which is totally 19th century.
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Calgary25954 Posts
If she offers sometimes, I have no problems paying the majority of the time.
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On November 24 2011 22:07 d00p wrote:
These bitches need to understand that gender equality cuts both ways. Stay-at-home moms are just lazy. Their lifestyle is analogous to a stereotypical 30-yo fat dude living in their parents' basement. They just mooch of other people. But I guess that's fine as long as they accept themselves for what they are and don't try to justify themselves with some half-assed family values bullshit. They are unproductive parts of society just like all unemployed people whether they are that willingly or unwillingly.
One of the dumbest blanket statement posts I've seen outside LR in a while. Bitches? Cooking, cleaning and raising kids is hard and largely thankless work. Half-assed family values bullshit? Having one parent at home during a kid's formative years is hugely beneficial if the finances allow for it. There's also a bunch of stay-at-home mums that will pick up part time work on the side, on top of household chores. Mine quit her teaching job to raise my brothers and I as my parents agreed that it would be better to have one of them at home while we were growing up. I know several stay-at-home dads as well, it's not about gender equality, it's just a lifestyle decision couples make.
Comparing stay-at-home mums to unemployed 30yr old basement dwellers is just retarded. Grow up.
@ the OP: I pay for first dates and beyond that just split 50:50 or alternate.
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I had a girlfriend, parents were filthy rich, she will never have to work a day in her life. I still had to pay for everything.
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On November 25 2011 01:35 Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On November 24 2011 18:54 baubo wrote:On November 24 2011 18:21 Black[CAT] wrote:
Chinese in general are pretty materialistic...
Money 1st, then all is well. I'm Chinese so I see these shit a lot in life.... As someone who has lived in US and China, I don't even know how to respond to this. I guess you must be right. We all know that the global financial crisis happened because of the materialism of Chinese people. That China must have a huge trade deficit because its people can't stop spending and maxing out their credit cards. That Chinese people can't possibly save a greater percentage of their income than any other major country. That the Chinese government must run a huge deficit because they're so materialistic they can't prevent themselves from spending recklessly to fight wars and establish bases around the world. Yes, Chinese as a race must be the most materialistic people in the world. I can't think of another nation that likes materialistic things. There may be one... but I just can't put my finger on it.... No, I think you are right. There can't possibly be a nation of people who care more about money and material wealth than Chinese. What is this reply? It's a stereotype, but it's true that Chinese girls focus on money more than any other race, especially our parent's generation. This has nothing to do with the government.
That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence. I've found chinese girls to be less materialistic than white girls.
Here's an interesting study on the matter that I googled.
http://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/display.asp?id=7019
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Calgary25954 Posts
On November 25 2011 01:39 Zorkmid wrote:Show nested quote +On November 25 2011 01:35 Chill wrote:On November 24 2011 18:54 baubo wrote:On November 24 2011 18:21 Black[CAT] wrote:
Chinese in general are pretty materialistic...
Money 1st, then all is well. I'm Chinese so I see these shit a lot in life.... As someone who has lived in US and China, I don't even know how to respond to this. I guess you must be right. We all know that the global financial crisis happened because of the materialism of Chinese people. That China must have a huge trade deficit because its people can't stop spending and maxing out their credit cards. That Chinese people can't possibly save a greater percentage of their income than any other major country. That the Chinese government must run a huge deficit because they're so materialistic they can't prevent themselves from spending recklessly to fight wars and establish bases around the world. Yes, Chinese as a race must be the most materialistic people in the world. I can't think of another nation that likes materialistic things. There may be one... but I just can't put my finger on it.... No, I think you are right. There can't possibly be a nation of people who care more about money and material wealth than Chinese. What is this reply? It's a stereotype, but it's true that Chinese girls focus on money more than any other race, especially our parent's generation. This has nothing to do with the government. That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence. I've found chinese girls to be less materialistic than white girls.
That's fine and your opinion. My point is that a country's debt is irrelevant.
Why did you post that article? It doesn't reference China and it's from 1990. I'm not going to read the whole thing to get to a point that you didn't summarize.
I really hope you answer this because I've skimmed through and opened all the references and I can't imagine what the point of this link is.
Why is a country that has been trying to imitate the West more materialistic than the West itself?
Is that your point? lol
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Obviously whatever Chill said is a bit short-minded, it's ultimately saying Chinese are primitive thinkers and the only value for absolute majority of them lies within purchasing power.
I somewhat like OP's attitude but as a man I want to pay even when my lady offers her money. If I'm in a tough spot financially I probably should think of other things, not taking girls out to restaurants.
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Korea (South)512 Posts
krn here, i pay for most when going out with gf.. feel like i should pay all the time haha.
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Calgary25954 Posts
On November 25 2011 01:55 discodancer wrote:
Obviously whatever Chill said is a bit short-minded, it's ultimately saying Chinese are primitive thinkers and the only value for absolute majority of them lies within purchasing power.
How did you infer that from what I said?
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On November 25 2011 01:57 Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On November 25 2011 01:55 discodancer wrote:
Obviously whatever Chill said is a bit short-minded, it's ultimately saying Chinese are primitive thinkers and the only value for absolute majority of them lies within purchasing power. How did you infer that from what I said?
You said yourself that Chinese focus on money more than any other race, isn't it fair to assume that money is what's important for most of them?
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Calgary25954 Posts
On November 25 2011 01:59 discodancer wrote:Show nested quote +On November 25 2011 01:57 Chill wrote:On November 25 2011 01:55 discodancer wrote:
Obviously whatever Chill said is a bit short-minded, it's ultimately saying Chinese are primitive thinkers and the only value for absolute majority of them lies within purchasing power. How did you infer that from what I said? You said yourself that Chinese focus on money more than any other race, isn't it fair to assume that money is what's important for most of them?
And hence are primitive thinkers? Come on.
Hockey is more important to Canadian girls than anyone else. So what?
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My gf prefers me to pay more of the time (I offer to) but doesn't have a problem paying if she thinks I'm uncomfortable paying all the time. I don't mind paying more than 50% all the time, I do mind if a girl expects me to always be the one paying or giving gifts. As long as I feel my efforts are being appreciated I am happy to pay most of the time.
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Boy pays everything for girl also already became a culture in my country. And this kind of culture can be a boomerang. And I have the perfect example.
So, one day, my friend came to me, sharing his romance story with his girl friend, I was expecting to hear a lovey dovey story but NO... I was hearing a frustration story of him. Man...
For short, he is frustrated of how he must pay almost everything for his girlfriend, while his relationship not entering a promising stage.
And trust me, when you're dating, you will not only spending money for your girlfriend, but for her family too (not always, but happened very often).
This kind of view already became an obligation inside boys mind, this is no longer a culture or whatever you call it. And without being realized, they're spending too much for something that over commitment, and end up with nothing. And then, this is the time where my friend came to me, whining, sharing, whatever...
I told him, "If you're having trouble with this kind of relation, why don't you start splitting your expense? I mean, if she is a good woman, she will understand, and she will even support you."
He replied: "And let my dignity dropped in a low level? Her parent will think if I might burdening her in the future if I do this! I must show them how I'm capable of "
I was like: "So, you're maintain your dignity by screwing around your monetary fund, eh? If you're really capable of showing what you wanna shown to her and her parent, why are you came to me and whining about your life now?"
He says nothing. And I continue: "Dude, I suggest you to be more honest to your girl friend, especially with your monthly income. Did you know? Japanese boys and Girls are pay their own expense when they're going out?"
"This is not Japan, dumb ass!" He replied. Of course this is not Japan. I only shows him a possible-alternative-solution (which is rejected by him).
You see, a problem with very easy solution became harder because of how men/boys thinking about the way to run their relationship with their girlfriend.
Even you want to split your expense, mostly, your boyfriend will not accept it because it "Violated his dignity as a man". This is sounds stupid, but that's how men thinking about his relationship.
Of course, there are some boys that being realistic and accept to split the bill.
And, Panda, you're amazing. I hope I could meet a woman with the same way of thinking, just like you, in my country 
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On the other side of the coin, I know several guys who take it as an insult if a girl pays for ANYTHING, or even offers to. Yes they are asian. It's just part of culture and tradition that guys must take care of the girls, and that's why you often see materialistic asian girls.
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well my first boyfriend literally never paid for anything, and i paid for him sometimes
he never bought me any presents either (i did for him)
so i think it would be nice to have a rich boi one time who pays for everything 
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I pay with how she wants, not with what I got.
Hold chairs out, open doors for her, spend time with her.
That's the currency she likes. Otherwise we split almost everything because the whole thing has no significance. Anything above 40 we split though because it gets a bit hefty for me.
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On November 25 2011 01:33 Scarecrow wrote:
One of the dumbest blanket statement posts I've seen outside LR in a while. Bitches? Cooking, cleaning and raising kids is hard and largely thankless work. Half-assed family values bullshit? Having one parent at home during a kid's formative years is hugely beneficial if the finances allow for it. There's also a bunch of stay-at-home mums that will pick up part time work on the side, on top of household chores. Mine quit her teaching job to raise my brothers and I as my parents agreed that it would be better to have one of them at home while we were growing up. I know several stay-at-home dads as well, it's not about gender equality, it's just a lifestyle decision couples make.
Comparing stay-at-home mums to unemployed 30yr old basement dwellers is just retarded. Grow up.
@ the OP: I pay for first dates and beyond that just split 50:50 or alternate. [/QUOTE]
Cooking and cleaning is hard work? Ok. How is it beneficial to have one parent at home? I mean sure, if money is no issue then maybe it's ok for like 3-4 years in some situations. But after that there is simply no excuse. There is this thing called day care. I hope your mom is happy with her choice. What happens now that you are all grown up (?) I guess nothing happens. It's, you know, a "lifestyle".
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Edit: my compliments to the OP, rock on
My gf and I split the costs of everything 50/50 unless its a gift from one person to the other (an object, a night out, etc).It may be worth noting that she is French and that the Europeans have a somewhat different view of relationships than north Americans (and probably Asians, idk?).
For example, I've noticed that alot of my friends' girlfriends expect their bf's to cater to them and buy them things because they essentially feel that they are doing the bf a service/favor by being with them (1-way relationship) because guys are "so easy to get" etc. In contrast, my relationship is, I feel, more based on mutual enjoyment of each others company, and any expenses incurred along the way don't belong to any one person in particular.
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EPT
