EPTEdit: To address your problem, I feel like you just need to express your feelings to your mom about how you want to know you've earned what you got. Thats a sentiment anyone can respect.
my mom is telling me to be a gold digger - Page 7
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itkovian
United States1763 Posts
Edit: To address your problem, I feel like you just need to express your feelings to your mom about how you want to know you've earned what you got. Thats a sentiment anyone can respect. | ||
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koreasilver
9109 Posts
We can keep believing that, turning a blind eye to how monstrously materialistic our motherlands have become in our generation. | ||
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StarStruck
25339 Posts
On November 25 2011 04:24 kierpanda wrote: My mom is Chinese -- born in the states (as were her parents). I live near San Francisco. My family has always been somewhat around that area. I've never been to HK. :\ I don't even have relatives in HK because the good majority of my mom's side of the family lives in the states. I have no idea about my dad's side. Ah, so those comments were based off your friends from Taiwan and Hong Kong. 3rd generation. Fair enough. I guess the melting pot analogy doesn't work in this case. Considering you are 21 and he's 28. I guess your parents just hope that he can pull his weight. I would expect someone to be well on their way at that age anyway. On November 25 2011 04:33 kierpanda wrote: My boyfriend doesn't pay for everything* because I don't let him. :'D We typically share the costs for everything (aside for the occasional date night or birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) He definitely has better savings than I do -- but that's because he's spent a longer time in the workforce than I have. I'm still paying off student loans and what-not. He does pay his own rent, car, and expenses. And I do as well (we don't live together right now). My mom isn't that traditional though, which is weird. :< *everything meaning variable things like food costs. Just the way it should be.  | ||
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Sufficiency
Canada23833 Posts
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evanthebouncy!
United States12816 Posts
I think you have a healthy look on life and relationships. When I was in one my gf ad I always split the cost, and we're both Chinese fyi. Live strong willed! :D | ||
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Zariel
Australia1312 Posts
Maybe it's in my asian genes too, as a guy, whenever I take a girl out, I would generally offer to pay for food/travel etc. I know it sounds a bit dumb and stupid, but that's just my own little code I follow. It just feels too damn awkward to ask to split bills and stuff. But, I can see why have equal contributions means alot to relationships, as there's no real bread winner now-a-days with couples. | ||
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Aelonius
Netherlands432 Posts
On November 24 2011 17:55 Rekrul wrote: judging these girls off that makes you yuck, not them She's not even that judgemental. I would say, come to the Netherlands for a long while, and you'll see how much dutch people judge on outer looks and behaviour. This is nothing. | ||
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Rinrun
Canada3509 Posts
But if she reeeeeealllly wants to pay (and I mean like she won't back down) then I let her. (On another note, I wouldn't mind being a gold-digger... kekeke) | ||
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kierpanda
United States757 Posts
On November 25 2011 09:13 StarStruck wrote: Ah, so those comments were based off your friends from Taiwan and Hong Kong. 3rd generation. Fair enough. I guess the melting pot analogy doesn't work in this case. Considering you are 21 and he's 28. I guess your parents just hope that he can pull his weight. I would expect someone to be well on their way at that age anyway. Just the way it should be. Yes, the HK and Taiwan stereotypes are what I've learned from friends who lived in both areas. To some extent, I kind of understand, since a lot of the HK and Taiwanese girls I've met in college were very snooty and materialistic. Just their attitude about money just rubbed me the wrong way. | ||
NeverGG
United Kingdom5399 Posts
This so much. As a fellow woman I think it's sweet when guys offer to pay for the odd meal/giving me surprise gifts etc, but the idea of someone paying for things like my ultility bills/phone etc strikes me as really selfish on my part. I also like to surprise people (guys and girls) by buying them a meal, or some random present just because. If someone buys me something then I think it's only fair to get something in return for them/treat them the next time we're out together. Just remembering how happy their kindness made me feel is enough to motivate me to do something for them too. If I was in a relationship (not that I plan on getting into that situation ever.) I'd feel weird about not paying for my own basic obligations. Splitting things down the middle/coming up with a similarly fair plan is definitely preferable. | ||
Hot_Bid
Braavos36402 Posts
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lim1017
Canada1278 Posts
If I ever have a daughter that's the #1 lesson I will teach her | ||
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phiinix
United States1169 Posts
Definitely think it's a new age thing. When I was cashier at a cafe, I remember one couple specifically who came in semi regularly and took turns paying, while all the "older" dates were exclusively men paying for the meal. It's one of those weird things that'll get adjusting to as women become more independent in the world, because for a lot of guys it's a pride thing. I know a friend who dislikes it when he goes out with a girl (on a date or with a friend who happens to be a girl) and they try to pay. He just feels like it's a gentlemen thing to do to pay for a girl and I feel kind of the same way to. I suppose it's in context though. The idea of special occasions like specific date nights and birthdays is so spot on. tl;dr: happens more for newer couples than older. Some guys still do it for pride/chivalry(guys watch chick flicks too). You're awesome. | ||
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iSometric
2221 Posts
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Sky101
United States1758 Posts
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Gigaudas
Sweden1213 Posts
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kierpanda
United States757 Posts
On November 25 2011 16:45 iSometric wrote: Lol 3rd gen abc? You're grandparents mustve came hella early. Yep. They bounced before shit went down in China. :< I believe they worked as furriers in SF or something. | ||
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MetalMarine
United States1559 Posts
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