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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On August 13 2013 01:59 chadissilent wrote: Yeah, the burnout thing concerns me too. I'll speak with her about it this weekend once I've had a chance to ponder done some more. Good idea, though I would suggest not killing yourself over it. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32084 Posts
No need to rush a good thing. I'm sure she can find a cheap place in a college town and sleep over all the time and stuff. | ||
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chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
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QuanticHawk
United States32084 Posts
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Killscreen
188 Posts
On August 13 2013 02:00 docvoc wrote: The amount of condescension in this post is so ironic. Some people might mistake this post as useful, I hope you'll forgive me if I didn't. That's OK. We can't all be smart. Generally in life you'll want to take advice from people who have experience on the topic at hand. The problem is that our male egos will try to fool us into thinking we are experts on the subject, particularly with women, and particularly online where we can pretend to be someone else, which makes it very difficult to separate the people who can and want to help and those who just want to stroke their ego by going online, giving dating advice and talk about women so they can tell themselves they are players. These people do more damage than good, and need to be checked. I could qualify myself here, but I'm not going to. They would just be words, and guys lie about their success with women to get validation. For all you know, I could be another loser trying to get validation, or I could be a guy who actually has some insight in the subject after many years of experience. You and you alone have to make that distinction. You might think I am full of shit, that is your right, but you should apply the same level of skeptisism to a 19 year old boy who thinks he has everything figured out and nothing left to learn. There is no correlation between how much someone talks about women and how much they understand them. | ||
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ffadicted
United States3545 Posts
On August 13 2013 02:08 chadissilent wrote: Calgary, AB has some of the most expensive real estate in North America, haha. It's the engineering capital of Canada which means a new town house sells for $325k and an actual house is $350k+ for an older/shitty one. $1200 for an old, rough 1 bedroom condo, etc. Still not as bad as toronto lol 650sqft condo for 1800 a month + hydro in the "cheap" part of town, not really close to subway... siiiigh Just as a note to you, I was in a situation last year where I had been dating a girl for about 6 and a half months and thought she was pretty chill, and I had actually known her since I was 16 (was 21 at the time)... Unfortunately I was moving to Toronto away from the maritimes, and initially we decided we'd do long distance, but she would spend the summer in toronto with me. I thought no big deal right, it'll be great. Was I ever wrong lol I hated it. Couldn't have hated it more tbh. Once the novelty of it wore off first month, all I wanted was my me time. I got to the point where I'd dread coming home sometimes knowing I couldn't just relax and do my own thing. It was such a bad experience for me (for many reasons, seeing each other too much, lots of bickering that we never did before, wanted my alone time, etc etc), that I ended up dumping her before the summer was over and that was that lol Would never do it again that quick, really opened up my eyes to how much sh*t changes when you're living together. Luckily I had the benefit of a 2 month trial period, which you do not. I guess the moral of this story could be seen two ways though: this is NOT something you should do that quickly and just jump into cuz the relationship "is cool and totally seems to be working" (I agree with Hawk in saying I'd only ever do it again as a test-run for someone I could consider marrying), but also is that you'll never know what it's like and if it's good/bad until you do try it. My advice to you though? No, don't do it. Simple as that. PS: I hope no one is actually taking this Killscreen guy seriously hahah I think he's trollin, no one can be THAT clueless. If you think it's ok to heavily flirt/actively look for others/open to "replacing" your current relationship, then you're not in a monogamous relationship haha It's not hard to understand tbh And this has nothing to do with "women" knowledge, same applies for any LGBT combination of couples. | ||
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Borgbilly
United States21 Posts
On August 13 2013 02:26 Killscreen wrote: That's OK. We can't all be smart. Generally in life you'll want to take advice from people who have experience on the topic at hand. The problem is that our male egos will try to fool us into thinking we are experts on the subject, particularly with women, and particularly online where we can pretend to be someone else, which makes it very difficult to separate the people who can and want to help and those who just want to stroke their ego by going online, giving dating advice and talk about women so they can tell themselves they are players. These people do more damage than good, and need to be checked. I could qualify myself here, but I'm not going to. They would just be words, and guys lie about their success with women to get validation. For all you know, I could be another loser trying to get validation, or I could be a guy who actually has some insight in the subject after many years of experience. You and you alone have to make that distinction. You might think I am full of shit, that is your right, but you should apply the same level of skeptisism to a 19 year old boy who thinks he has everything figured out and nothing left to learn. There is no correlation between how much someone talks about women and how much they understand them. I'm going to chalk up most of your differences in view to living in Europe as opposed to the US. Sexual views in the US, especially the south, are significantly more conservative. Having hour long text conversations, seeing each other every week, etc. are all things that I'd consider very sketchy while in a monogamous relationship. There are people here in the states, and not an insignificant amount of them, that would even consider something as simple as flirting with someone who isn't your partner to be infringing on the bounds of a relationship. Also, try not being such an arrogant prick while giving advice. People generally listen more to people that don't come off as douchebags. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32084 Posts
On August 13 2013 03:00 ffadicted wrote: PS: I hope no one is actually taking this Killscreen guy seriously hahah I think he's trollin, no one can be THAT clueless. b-b-but... he studied evolutionary biology and sexual selection?? | ||
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Killscreen
188 Posts
On August 13 2013 03:13 QuanticHawk wrote: b-b-but... he studied evolutionary biology and sexual selection?? Yeah. While you were here pretending to be an expert I was actually learning about life, sex and women. | ||
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farvacola
United States18838 Posts
On August 13 2013 03:17 Killscreen wrote: Yeah. While you were here pretending to be an expert I was actually learning about life, sex and women. I think you're just pretending. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32084 Posts
Post filter is the best goddamn thing about + 'Why do I feel there is some kind of reason I remember this dude...' *clicks* '...oh' | ||
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sunprince
United States2258 Posts
On August 12 2013 19:29 Killscreen wrote: There is also the assumption that having a new partner lined up before ending it with the previous one makes you a shitty person. It doesn't. It stings. Trust me I know it does, but it doesn't make her a bad person you should harbor resentment for. It makes you a shitty person if the other person is unaware that this is acceptable behavior in your relationship. And while this varies across cultures, I would argue that this is typically not considered acceptable in modern first-world societies unless specified beforehand. On August 13 2013 03:00 ffadicted wrote: I hope no one is actually taking this Killscreen guy seriously hahah I think he's trollin, no one can be THAT clueless. If you think it's ok to heavily flirt/actively look for others/open to "replacing" your current relationship, then you're not in a monogamous relationship haha It's not hard to understand tbh And this has nothing to do with "women" knowledge, same applies for any LGBT combination of couples. Explaining why trolls are wrong can still provide valuable information to other people reading the thread. Dismantling trolls is also a good skill to practice and develop. | ||
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On August 13 2013 03:07 Borgbilly wrote: I'm going to chalk up most of your differences in view to living in Europe as opposed to the US. Sexual views in the US, especially the south, are significantly more conservative. Having hour long text conversations, seeing each other every week, etc. are all things that I'd consider very sketchy while in a monogamous relationship. There are people here in the states, and not an insignificant amount of them, that would even consider something as simple as flirting with someone who isn't your partner to be infringing on the bounds of a relationship. Also, try not being such an arrogant prick while giving advice. People generally listen more to people that don't come off as douchebags. This is completely true. I live in the south, and the conservative view thing is a bit more nuanced, but still true. There are still people who others would consider "sluts" but the comedown on them is incredibly harsh, and someone being a "home-wrecker" is pretty much grounds for the entire group to get up and leave town because of how hard southern politics will ruin their lives. | ||
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Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
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ComaDose
Canada10357 Posts
But if you don't want to have sex with her i probably wouldn't do it. | ||
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chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
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Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
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Badfatpanda
United States9719 Posts
On August 13 2013 06:02 Recognizable wrote: Okay guys. I just recently broke up and another girl just plainly asked to fuck me. With zero strings attached. She isn't pretty. Barely doable, not fat but chubby. I'm sorry for her, but she should lose about 15 lb's and she would be much hotter :/ Anyway. Do it. Yes/no? It seems like a great idea but then I fap and I honestly could not be bothered. If your ego can put up with bearing a pity fuck then sure, why not. Problem is that she probably likes you and when a girl says "no strings attached" everything in me says "gtfo". If you're not sexually attracted to her I'd wait for another fish. | ||
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Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
On August 13 2013 06:11 Badfatpanda wrote: If your ego can put up with bearing a pity fuck then sure, why not. Problem is that she probably likes you and when a girl says "no strings attached" everything in me says "gtfo". If you're not sexually attracted to her I'd wait for another fish. Why is that? Not much experience with this lol. | ||
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Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
On August 13 2013 06:08 Recognizable wrote: That's the problem. Sometimes I want it. Sometimes I don't. Depends entirely on how horny I am. We humans are really just animals after all. Our thinking get's this much disturbed by hormones. You don't really want it then. I wouldn't do it. | ||
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