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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On August 08 2013 18:24 Shiragaku wrote:Show nested quote +On August 08 2013 18:20 marvellosity wrote:On August 08 2013 18:01 Shiragaku wrote:
First off, my frustration with many gay/bi guys is making me more and more straight by the day. Maybe it could be society as a whole, but dear God, so many guys I have met are so shallow! All they want to do is consumerism, MTV, entertainment, and meaningless conversation. And women amazingly aren't any of these things? I find this difficult to believe. You're obviously attracting the wrong guys... Pretty much this. I just need someplace to express my frustration in the most infantile way possible right now man.
It's not them, it's not you. It's people in general these days. Very hard these days to just find people willing to be themselves, it is very discomforting being surrounded by fake people.
I'd say the first step is to stop looking in bars as some one above me pointed out. bars/night clubs are not where intelligent conversation is found usually
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i dont think shallow necessarily implies fake and i doubt it's much different than any time period really. but yeah, i can imagine trying to find people to date when you're gay can be a bitch hahaha
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On August 09 2013 06:15 VayneAuthority wrote:Show nested quote +On August 08 2013 18:24 Shiragaku wrote:On August 08 2013 18:20 marvellosity wrote:On August 08 2013 18:01 Shiragaku wrote:
First off, my frustration with many gay/bi guys is making me more and more straight by the day. Maybe it could be society as a whole, but dear God, so many guys I have met are so shallow! All they want to do is consumerism, MTV, entertainment, and meaningless conversation. And women amazingly aren't any of these things? I find this difficult to believe. You're obviously attracting the wrong guys... Pretty much this. I just need someplace to express my frustration in the most infantile way possible right now man. It's not them, it's not you. It's people in general these days. Very hard these days to just find people willing to be themselves, it is very discomforting being surrounded by fake people. I'd say the first step is to stop looking in bars as some one above me pointed out. bars/night clubs are not where intelligent conversation is found usually
lol I have never been in a bar in my life. I am still hella underaged. 
On August 09 2013 06:17 QuanticHawk wrote:
i dont think shallow necessarily implies fake and i doubt it's much different than any time period really. but yeah, i can imagine trying to find people to date when you're gay can be a bitch hahaha
Hee hee, well it does suck when most guys who hit on you tend to be a bit creepy. At EVO, I had a really big hairy guy who kept following me around, and accompanied me, even when I was tying my show for a second, and said the creepiest things.
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On August 09 2013 06:21 Shiragaku wrote:Show nested quote +On August 09 2013 06:15 VayneAuthority wrote:On August 08 2013 18:24 Shiragaku wrote:On August 08 2013 18:20 marvellosity wrote:On August 08 2013 18:01 Shiragaku wrote:
First off, my frustration with many gay/bi guys is making me more and more straight by the day. Maybe it could be society as a whole, but dear God, so many guys I have met are so shallow! All they want to do is consumerism, MTV, entertainment, and meaningless conversation. And women amazingly aren't any of these things? I find this difficult to believe. You're obviously attracting the wrong guys... Pretty much this. I just need someplace to express my frustration in the most infantile way possible right now man. It's not them, it's not you. It's people in general these days. Very hard these days to just find people willing to be themselves, it is very discomforting being surrounded by fake people. I'd say the first step is to stop looking in bars as some one above me pointed out. bars/night clubs are not where intelligent conversation is found usually lol I have never been in a bar in my life. I am still hella underaged. Show nested quote +On August 09 2013 06:17 QuanticHawk wrote:
i dont think shallow necessarily implies fake and i doubt it's much different than any time period really. but yeah, i can imagine trying to find people to date when you're gay can be a bitch hahaha Hee hee, well it does suck when most guys who hit on you tend to be a bit creepy. At EVO, I had a really big hairy guy who kept following me around, and accompanied me, even when I was tying my show for a second, and said the creepiest things.
ohh shoulda just said that xD there's your answer then. Most people your age haven't even matured yet. That makes a lot of sense now why you are frustrated
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On August 09 2013 06:25 VayneAuthority wrote:Show nested quote +On August 09 2013 06:21 Shiragaku wrote:On August 09 2013 06:15 VayneAuthority wrote:On August 08 2013 18:24 Shiragaku wrote:On August 08 2013 18:20 marvellosity wrote:On August 08 2013 18:01 Shiragaku wrote:
First off, my frustration with many gay/bi guys is making me more and more straight by the day. Maybe it could be society as a whole, but dear God, so many guys I have met are so shallow! All they want to do is consumerism, MTV, entertainment, and meaningless conversation. And women amazingly aren't any of these things? I find this difficult to believe. You're obviously attracting the wrong guys... Pretty much this. I just need someplace to express my frustration in the most infantile way possible right now man. It's not them, it's not you. It's people in general these days. Very hard these days to just find people willing to be themselves, it is very discomforting being surrounded by fake people. I'd say the first step is to stop looking in bars as some one above me pointed out. bars/night clubs are not where intelligent conversation is found usually lol I have never been in a bar in my life. I am still hella underaged. On August 09 2013 06:17 QuanticHawk wrote:
i dont think shallow necessarily implies fake and i doubt it's much different than any time period really. but yeah, i can imagine trying to find people to date when you're gay can be a bitch hahaha Hee hee, well it does suck when most guys who hit on you tend to be a bit creepy. At EVO, I had a really big hairy guy who kept following me around, and accompanied me, even when I was tying my show for a second, and said the creepiest things. ohh shoulda just said that xD there's your answer then. Most people your age haven't even matured yet. That makes a lot of sense now why you are frustrated
I'd wager a lot haven't even come out of the closet yet and the ones that have are way older than you and just seem creepy.
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yeah that's gotta be the worst time to be a gay person trying to date haha. sorry man! hope you find non-d-bags!
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Shallowness usually stems from stupidity, try looking for gay guys in more intelligent places.
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On August 09 2013 06:03 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On August 08 2013 13:09 Tictock wrote:
Ok I'll bite and post something too.
Started seeing a girl I work with (she just started less than a month ago) she is super cute, very bubbly and positive, great sense of humor (seems to love "your mom" jokes), smart, stays active, and best of all she seems to be pretty into me. We flirted a fair bit her first few weeks of work, and finally asked her out last week. Though tbh she was the one to suggest doing something I just pushed things forward from there. Went out to a late lunch last week and have plans to hit up a bar this friday. We get along great, have similar interests and have been chatting a lot outside of work now.
The only downside is that she recently got out of a fairly serious relationship (she was living with her ex) and he was the one to end things. She says they are over, but are still friends even though he broke up with her and kicked her out. So, I'm being cautiously optimistic about the whole thing but am having fun so far. define recently being friends with an ex isnt an issue if it is just that. but if they were living together as recently as two of three months ago, it is more like 'friends' and that should be a big red flag if you want anything serious out of it. if youre not looking for anything serious, then disregard and do whatever
Yeah be careful, I don't think its uncommon for ex's in contact to keep sleeping with each other for a few more months 
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Well I'll guess I'll share my story.
OK so in November last year I was diagnosed with depression brought on by a lot of social anxiety and self asteem issues, I lost a lot of weight in a short time and had horrible insomnia, I started taking medication and was seeing a counselor to help me work out my issues. I was fairly quite and anxious and I had never even considered asking a girl out. I knew several girls and talk to them on a regular basis so I wasn't completely awkward.
Fast forward 2 months and I've been working hard on my issues and I've made some progress, making some good friends in the process. For whatever reason a girl (let's call her Jane) who I had known for about a year decides to ask me out, my counselor told me to be bold and not to be afraid and I said yes. And the next day my good friend is trying to set someone up for her friend(We'll call her Meg) for a double blind date, and I say yes to that. So with that I have 2 dates in one weekend with two different girls...*high five*
Both dates go fine, panic attacks aside before my date with Jane. After both dates I start wondering if I can continue anything with either one, Meg develops a crush on me which made me nervous more than anything. And I become close to Jane and she tells me about herself, she has dealt with depression and bulimia, while coming from a very troubled home.
I decide that it would I can;t handle anything more with either of them, so I tell them about my situation and where I am and they're ok with that. Jane understood and agreed with me that it would be for the better. Meg was fine with it, her exact words were: "Oh, thats ok I have a girlfriend now." ( 0.o, she's bisexual...surprise!)
Here comes the part of the story I like to call. "How am I not gay?"
Fast forward I stay friend with both of them and still talk a lot with Jane, who I have a lot in common with, I'll skip over the drama and episodes that happen in between.
Summer break everyone is ready to leave we all graduate and everyone is having fun before they head off to their new lives after highschool. A few weeks ago I go to hang out with Meg and her friend, it;s getting late so her friend goes home and it;s just me and Meg alone in her house with her parents out of town. After about 2 hours of subtle hints and less obvious gestures, she gets frustrated and just asks if she can kiss me. I uncharacteristically say yes, and we start kissing on the couch.
She was very much into it because she knew what she was doing, and I was sitting there with a very horrible mixture of testosterone and terror, sporting a massive terror erection. After a little of this she starts to get a little MORE enthusiastic and her hands start to wonder. If I had let her, and not said anything I would have been able to do anything I wanted that night, but I said no. I asked her very politely to stop and after I managed to spit out a jumbled and fragmented explanation for what happened I went home with the BRUTAL case of blue balls.
I don;t really know how to treat Meg now, Jane says she needs to see me one more time before I move to the other side of the country for school. That has been my story so far, and I'm very uncertain about whats going to happen when I get to University.
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You don't tell why you are on fear (laughed hard at the terror boner, fucking imagination), i would guess because you were scared of not being good enough ? Drop that shit out of the window, if you never start you will never get better at it. I am pretty sure most people have had some of those insecurities at some point.
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On August 02 2013 22:05 notwelldone wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2013 19:55 sc4k wrote:On August 02 2013 13:12 Wombat_NI wrote:
*Shudders at the spectre of the friendzone returning to the thread*
In terms of the date thing, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck it probably is a duck. lol what, what is this insanity that people don't think the friendzone exists, of course it does. It's just not as hard and concrete as some people think. But it is inescapable for many men who don't accept it and pre-empt it. "I was so nice to her, why won't she suck my dick?" - People who think that friendzone exists.
Guys only think this because they've been brainwashed all their lives with the belief that women want nice guys.
If they realized that actions speak louder than words, and paid attention to who women actually give blowjobs to instead of what women claim to want, then they wouldn't suffer such deluded misconceptions.
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On August 09 2013 07:16 Frits wrote:
Shallowness usually stems from stupidity, try looking for gay guys in more intelligent places.
I would argue it's more likely to be a maturity issue. Undergraduate students are generally more intelligent than average, yet campus culture (including fraternities/sororities, college bars/clubs, and house parties) is rather shallow.
A gay high school student is particularly disadvantaged when looking for a partner due to the low total number of available out-of-the-closet gay/bi peers, let alone mature ones.
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On August 09 2013 09:24 Godwrath wrote:
You don't tell why you are on fear (laughed hard at the terror boner, fucking imagination), i would guess because you were scared of not being good enough ? Drop that shit out of the window, if you never start you will never get better at it. I am pretty sure most people have had some of those insecurities at some point.
I really don't know why I was afraid, I was probably afraid of what would happen after. I usually decide if somethings a bad idea before I do it, and then decide not to do it.
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Protocol for dating/seeing your manager?
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Laying on a grassy hilltop one night in each others arms kissing. The next night crying over her breaking up with you. First time I've felt loved in the 3yrs my ex broke up with me. Felt really fucking good while it lasted, not being alone for once... now depression is gonna set in for awhile until I can go back to being happy single.
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Awww, didn't work out with this girl. Just when I started to really like her godamnit haha. But I'm not down or sad so I wasn't that emotionally invested.
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United Kingdom36156 Posts
On August 09 2013 10:47 sunprince wrote:Show nested quote +On August 09 2013 07:16 Frits wrote:
Shallowness usually stems from stupidity, try looking for gay guys in more intelligent places. I would argue it's more likely to be a maturity issue. Undergraduate students are generally more intelligent than average, yet campus culture (including fraternities/sororities, college bars/clubs, and house parties) is rather shallow. A gay high school student is particularly disadvantaged when looking for a partner due to the low total number of available out-of-the-closet gay/bi peers, let alone mature ones.
This is true, I dated a couple of times before I was 18, but it was mostly fluke. Only when I went to uni did things become easier in that regard.
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Terrible. I think it has less to do with luck and more to do with the fact that I'm uninteresting and unnatractive, but still, terrible.
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On August 09 2013 18:51 TheAntZ wrote:
Terrible. I think it has less to do with luck and more to do with the fact that I'm uninteresting and unnatractive, but still, terrible.
Watch "The Blueprint Decoded". I can tell you that you're NOT uninteresting and unattractive, but the guy from the blueprint can probably do a better job at it.
It basically boils down to "Just" trying to see yourself as an awesome guy. Takes a lot of work and time, but it's possible. If you're comfortable with you being an awesome guy, dating doesnt have a lot to do with luck either, but you will be a more lucky and happy guy.
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EPT
