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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On August 02 2013 08:41 Zooper31 wrote: That feeling when you go to a fair with your girl and you can't win a god damn giant blue gorilla for the life of you.
IM A FAILURE!
 it's k *pat pat*
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I just went against all my instincts and completely out of my comfort zone to appeal to a girl i haven't met yet. Somehow my plan of communicating less did not work. It feels a bit like a mistake. Like i shouldn't try to change myself for a girl. I can only tell myself that it doesn't matter, because that comfort zone was too small anyway. And i just did what would have been normal for me under different circumstances. Well, the dices have been thrown.
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On August 01 2013 07:28 farvacola wrote: Even though I'm fairly "successful" with women, my first thought when meeting a fine lass is still almost always, "oh shit, this woman is way too attractive for me."
Then I say fuck it and dive in head first. Think of it like jumpin into a cold pool on a hot day .
Yea I hear you on that, and I'm pretty much the same way. I'll swallow my doubts and just smile through clenched teeth, even if inside she's making me shake like a 13 year old boy lol. The girl's stunning, but she's also really outgoing, smart, and we have a lot of things that are in common. I'm obviously over thinking everything of course, but that's what I do, and I can't help but imagine myself wanting to be with her when the feeling isn't mutual; I have a problem with getting attached to the wrong chicks, particularly the one's that need attention 24/7. But who knows, maybe this one is the different, different one.
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On August 02 2013 10:47 Frumpysnoo wrote:Show nested quote +On August 01 2013 07:28 farvacola wrote: Even though I'm fairly "successful" with women, my first thought when meeting a fine lass is still almost always, "oh shit, this woman is way too attractive for me."
Then I say fuck it and dive in head first. Think of it like jumpin into a cold pool on a hot day . Yea I hear you on that, and I'm pretty much the same way. I'll swallow my doubts and just smile through clenched teeth, even if inside she's making me shake like a 13 year old boy lol. The girl's stunning, but she's also really outgoing, smart, and we have a lot of things that are in common. I'm obviously over thinking everything of course, but that's what I do, and I can't help but imagine myself wanting to be with her when the feeling isn't mutual; I have a problem with getting attached to the wrong chicks, particularly the one's that need attention 24/7. But who knows, maybe this one is the different, different one. I was in the same situation as you for a while man, go for it. If you want any more backstory or some advice, PM me... I just finished going through it.
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I know some people in this thread hate using the word "date," but what if you're getting together with a girl for the first or second time in a casual setting, and she asks you if it's a date? Answering no when you are attracted to her would just be dishonest about your intentions, while at the same time it isn't really necessarily a date.
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On August 02 2013 13:02 Najda wrote: I know some people in this thread hate using the word "date," but what if you're getting together with a girl for the first or second time in a casual setting, and she asks you if it's a date? Answering no when you are attracted to her would just be dishonest about your intentions, while at the same time it isn't really necessarily a date.
If you are spending 1 on 1 time with her because you are attracted to her it is a date. To call it anything else is a lie and will only tell the girl you aren't interested and will earn you a one way ticket to the... FRIENDZONE!
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Northern Ireland23765 Posts
*Shudders at the spectre of the friendzone returning to the thread*
In terms of the date thing, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck it probably is a duck.
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On August 02 2013 13:02 Najda wrote: I know some people in this thread hate using the word "date," but what if you're getting together with a girl for the first or second time in a casual setting, and she asks you if it's a date? Answering no when you are attracted to her would just be dishonest about your intentions, while at the same time it isn't really necessarily a date.
I would just say "I'm enjoying spending time with you and getting to know you. Does that make it a date?"
Basically if she wants to put a label on it, let her define the bounds. Then respond honestly.
Really though, if she's asking this question, then she probably wants to hear yes.
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On August 02 2013 08:41 Zooper31 wrote: That feeling when you go to a fair with your girl and you can't win a god damn giant blue gorilla for the life of you.
IM A FAILURE! You lost her to the first alpha male who is good enough of a man to get it. You will just have to look for a lesser maintenance woman.
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On August 02 2013 13:12 Wombat_NI wrote: *Shudders at the spectre of the friendzone returning to the thread*
In terms of the date thing, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck it probably is a duck.
lol what, what is this insanity that people don't think the friendzone exists, of course it does. It's just not as hard and concrete as some people think. But it is inescapable for many men who don't accept it and pre-empt it.
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Northern Ireland23765 Posts
No I mean in a 'He who should not be named/Voldemort' sense of impending doom kind of shudde
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On August 02 2013 19:55 sc4k wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2013 13:12 Wombat_NI wrote: *Shudders at the spectre of the friendzone returning to the thread*
In terms of the date thing, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck it probably is a duck. lol what, what is this insanity that people don't think the friendzone exists, of course it does. It's just not as hard and concrete as some people think. But it is inescapable for many men who don't accept it and pre-empt it. This whole complaining about being friendzoned is idiotic. If they are not interested in you would you prefer they treat you like shit or would you prefer them being nice to you (= OMG I GOT FRIENDZONED).
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On August 02 2013 19:55 sc4k wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2013 13:12 Wombat_NI wrote: *Shudders at the spectre of the friendzone returning to the thread*
In terms of the date thing, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck it probably is a duck. lol what, what is this insanity that people don't think the friendzone exists, of course it does. It's just not as hard and concrete as some people think. But it is inescapable for many men who don't accept it and pre-empt it. "I was so nice to her, why won't she suck my dick?" - People who think that friendzone exists.
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Northern Ireland23765 Posts
It's nothing to do with that entitlement. It's when you get into a situation with a prospective partner that for whatever reason doesn't bloom. You killed the sexual attraction aspect or they did and it's difficult to recapture.
Distinct from having friends of the opposite gender per se, because there was at one point additional chemistry that never developed further.
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haha. it does exist even guys do it
well, I friendzoned my first gf and gave her a chance but I was really hesistant to go out with her at first to say the least lol.
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i just broke up with my first gf of 5 months last week. really liked her but felt... she's too stubborn and immature. for the past week she's been really upset, crying and irrational (over instant messaging, she really wanted me back). we had a final short talk today about how it definitely wont work between us. it seems like she is going to find a job in another city (the only reason she stayed in my current city was because of me in the beginning). i miss her a lot already but its for the best
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On August 02 2013 22:05 notwelldone wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2013 19:55 sc4k wrote:On August 02 2013 13:12 Wombat_NI wrote: *Shudders at the spectre of the friendzone returning to the thread*
In terms of the date thing, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck it probably is a duck. lol what, what is this insanity that people don't think the friendzone exists, of course it does. It's just not as hard and concrete as some people think. But it is inescapable for many men who don't accept it and pre-empt it. "I was so nice to her, why won't she suck my dick?" - People who think that friendzone exists. this should be quoted once every page
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On August 02 2013 13:12 Wombat_NI wrote: *Shudders at the spectre of the friendzone returning to the thread*
In terms of the date thing, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck it probably is a duck. For some people, I feel the phrase should be, "If it walks like a shwartle, talks like a shwartle, it's probably a shwartle!"
Point being, they have no idea wtf a date looks/feels/sounds like. Hell, I've been on a few dozen and even I'm confused half the time.
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Northern Ireland23765 Posts
I wish I knew what a shwartle was, it sounds like an amusing creature
@saltywet, chin up son! Post-breakup is always tough, even if the girl has become a nightmare for me the memories of the good times will always be flowing around. You seem to be doing well as it is, but just an additional supportive message.
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