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TL; DR; BLATFP (Too long, didn't read, but looked at the funny pictures).
I have to really read that when i'm more awake and had my breakfast, though i imagine it will give a lot of hints everyone in that situation knows anyways, after all there are about a billion guides available everywhere.
In my experience the best help is a friend who is actually confident enough to initiate a conversation with a girl, since the first words are the hardest. You can then just contribute to the conversation and slowly gain the confidence to maybe start the conversation the next time.
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A couple more of these things and people can discontinue their girl-problem blogs, gg!
I wonder what a d-bag is though :o
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[EDIT]
ok shit I didn't realise I wrote that much, and I didn't even want to actually post it, Iooks more like a blog in a blog instead of a comment, if you want me to put this somewhere else let me know, I doubt that's that much on topic, but that blog really made me finally get this out and I think I really needed to
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shit I get home after being both fucking upset (because I wanted to make a move tonight and didn't) and soo happy (for Jinro's Ro8), and I see this lol.
I actually was on the verge of writing something relatively soon because I just needed to get out my frustration about something pretty similar to the issues you're adressing in this very well written blog.
For clarity, I'm the kind of guy who deeply believes paying too much attention to girls is not good for people who wants to achieve big things, especially in a competitive field, and I believe this because of my past experience on the subject. So for a long time now, I've been pretty much ignoring girls around me and not putting much thoughts about girls that I happened to find cute or whatever. And actually it seems that, for me at least, it has been a very good choice.
Also for the record, I'm not particularly shy, but being around and trying to interact with a girl that I find attractive and I like is something that seems pretty difficult for me, hence my decision to just try not to get in this situation.
But the thing is since I came to Korea I met one girl in particular, who is incredibly beautiful, kind and cute. And the big problem is that I made the mistake I promised myself to never ever do again, which is to actually get interested in her and try to know more about. At first when I saw her I was just like shit, she's really beautiful, but I didn't really think much more about it for the reasons I already talked about, and just moved on. But as time passed (by the way, she's working at the GOM studio so I unfortunately get to see her quite often), and as GimbleB kept pushing me to make a move (fuck you man :D), I ended up asking for a picture with her (I know that's not a move) and asked her name, and that's what I believe put me in the horrible spot I'm in right now.
Then I saw her again at the GSL 4 opening ceremony, and for some reason when GimbleB and me were talking and waiting for the raffle to get done, she came to me with a hand warmer and we started to talk and stuff until the raffle ended, we left the stadium together and we split then to go home. I was really surprised, and it got me thinking as I noticed that she was looking at me quite often when I was coming to the studio or during the GSL 3 finals, and GimbleB pointed that out to me too. She was looking at me the same way I was looking at her (I must say I have a very hard time letting my eyes go off her), that with the fact that she randomly came to me after the GSL 2011 opening ceremony, and caught me a couple times to talk in the subway on our way home, made me think that something is probably going on there. Especially when one time she asks for my age, and when I tell her (I know she has exactly my age, but she doesn't know that I know), she goes nuts and start saying things in korean all excited to her friend, I think that's what made me think something was going on.
The problem is, there is no way I could be sure about that. I had to make a real move for this, but I'm just unable to do it. So since then, I've been just thinking about it, and every time i come to the studio and sees her it just burns even more inside me, because I want to know if something is going on, but I just can't. The best I could do is to ask her to teach me Korean (following a friend's advice, and i was thinking I needed to learn it anyway), which actually turned out quite good as she asked me to teach her French in exchange.
BUT, she's actually ridiculously busy, working everyday, so we just couldn't find a time to do it, and even when I try to just talk to her it's always cut short cause she's either working and someones come to her about work, or it is her korean friends en masse so I just let it go and don't try to impose myself. Apparently she won't have that much freetime until mid february, as on sundays she takes some rest as she told me.
So yeah, as of why I'm pissed tonight is that as it's saturday, the games started at 2 pm, so it was going to end around 6 pm (which it did), so I had the intention to invite her for dinner or something, so I was waiting for her outside, and when she got out she was with like 3 or 4 other people from GOM. During around 10 sec I was asking myself whether I should do it or not but I chickened out, and just headed to the subway furious about myself for not asking just because she was with a couple friends in one of the rare occasions I could do this, punching a wall on my way and almost breaking my hand.
For the record, it's not the first time I plan on telling her something or asking her something and end up chickening out, but usually there is no time anyway as she lives pretty far away from the studio so she needs to leave as soon as possible.
So for something like almost 2 weeks now I've been thinking about that kind of shit all the time and mostly when I try to sleep (which fails horribly obviously as I just can't stop thinking about all of that), and this is the reason I decided not to give a shit about that kind of things anymore, I'm here to start my SC2 career, a chance have been given to me recently and I'm going to fuck it up just because I was stupid enough to let myself be attached to a girl and having my mind overwhelmed by stupid useless thoughts about that instead of focusing on my practice, which I'm right now not able to do until I fix this. And I can't think of any way to fix this quickly other than tell her everything, but that's something I just can't fucking do, especially when we will probably finally have some time in one month (if she doesn't fuck with me that is). There is just no way I'm going to do such thing because I just will feel horrible about it and I can't think of any situation where it's the good move.
Fuck me.
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I really enjoyed this blog, and I would definitely read similar ones in the future! Thanks for writing this ^_^
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On January 15 2011 19:07 NeverGG wrote:Show nested quote +On January 15 2011 18:56 Frozun wrote:
I think YOU might have gotten stuck in your comfort zone NeverGG. I haven't been on the forums in a while but I remember you were quite the awesome person. I'm sure it's easy to get in the mindset of "if a guy likes me he will come talk to me" and end up just waiting and waiting. It's kind of hard here too since a lot of people don't speak the same language as me, and although I've been trying to study it's slow progress. Plus the ideals of beauty here are something I'm never going to fit without a lot of plastic surgery and dieting. I don't socialize at all since I retired due to feeling pressure about looking the way I do. It's why I dropped out of having the few friends I actually did here in the first place and I'm still too concerned about it to try and find some new ones.
Some "gamers" do think if there is girl gamer that she is most likely "reserved" and wont bother talking to her. But being white girl in Korea is not that easy. But to make you happy --> I love you 
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cArn I think your attitude is wrong. This whole "distracted by women" theory.
There's nothing stupid about having feelings for someone. If you wanna become great at something and therefore dont actively search for a girlfriend thats fine, but if you have someone right in front of you it's just stupid and childish not to do anything about it.
And no the right solution is not to "tell her everything", unless you mean something else than I am thinking with that, but just to casually ask her out. If youre gonna be like "omg I'm in love with you" she's just gonna be weirded out.
Back to the distracted by women part - Doyle Brunson, Phil Helmuth, Phil Ivey - if you know anything about poker players these are the first names you'll hear, since they are the most successful. What have they got in common? They've been in a healthy relationship (marriage) for a long long time. Being lonely isn't good for your mental health. If youre depressed youre not gonna achieve anything "great"
Someone with Helmuth's temper in his profession would have probably exploded many years ago if he didnt have a wife to fall back on.
Of course those are not good example for like historic greats (of course in that case there would be many examples for my case as well) but since it sounds like you wanna be an SC2 progamer or something it's a good comparison I think.
Since it seems like she likes you dont wait until its too late, it wont last forever.
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hopefully this is the girl blog to end all girl blogs!
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Great thread! Amazing read, thanks for all the time and effort put into this
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India3050 Posts
Omg those pictures are so cuuuute!
I will definitely be reading this again. I am a really shy 15 yr old but I think I could use your advice if not all. Too bad, not everyone here speak good enough english to converse properly (according to my experiences) so its going to be hella hard.
Thanks for taking your time to do this.
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Pictures are so cute hahaha, well written blog as well Raeleigh. Like Haemonculus said its on and off applicable depending on the persons and situations, but I do think that what you've said targets what you meant to target on the money.
And to cArn, i mean I don't know your situation well at all, but by the looks of it you're in much better shape than you think.
She knows you, you know her, she's interested in you, you don't NEED an excuse to be around her when you have something in common and now this. You could go up to her any time she's free and ask her out to dinner, or hell, just straight up ask her out and she's bound to say yes in the situation you're in.
She is waiting for you to make a move, and as long as she's around you, she's always going to keep waiting for that move.
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On January 15 2011 18:46 Raeleigh wrote:Show nested quote +On January 15 2011 18:43 NeverGG wrote:
The illustrations are so cute. I kind of skimmed it, but the advice seems sound and I agree about some of us girls finding the whole 'baller'/d-bag attitude a bit overpowering and kind of lame. It's not really relevant to me personally because I've found that most guys can't get past me being ugly, and having really geeky hobbies (far geekier than SC.) and most of the guys I've liked myself have already got girlfriends, or see me as friend-material only due to these issues. Aw, well, I have NO advice for how to to deal with guys unfortunately. xD Maybe a normal, rounded guy needs to post something for us.. Haha. ♥
The same advice applies to guys!
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^ very true, except shes not gonna keep waiting forever, just get your ass up and ask her out :p
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Hey you wanna take a look at my blog (newest one) and give me an input on that one? (I want a female perspective). Girl logic is not something men will ever understand
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Informative stuff from somebody in the position to know? Check.
Cute pictures? Check.
It seems the two prerequisites for an awesome blog have been met. Excellent work!!
I love you, Raleigh.
+ Show Spoiler +Platonically, of course. =D
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On January 15 2011 18:56 topspinserve wrote:
Great read, I love the illustrations! You do a really good job explaining how do open a conversation in a non-awkward manner, but I never really hear about anyone striking up a random conversation with someone in a public place like a mall. I personally wouldn't mind someone talking to me, but might the person you're trying to talk to feel weird?
I can tell you from first hand experience that approaching girls at the mall does not work. I've tried every approach in the book on about a hundred girls with no success there. I think you'll just come off as annoying rather than interesting in a mall setting.
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On January 15 2011 18:43 NeverGG wrote:
The illustrations are so cute. I kind of skimmed it, but the advice seems sound and I agree about some of us girls finding the whole 'baller'/d-bag attitude a bit overpowering and kind of lame. It's not really relevant to me personally because I've found that most guys can't get past me being ugly, and having really geeky hobbies (far geekier than SC.) and most of the guys I've liked myself have already got girlfriends, or see me as friend-material only due to these issues.
You sound like you need a hug, lol.
On January 15 2011 20:14 DNB wrote:
What is it with girls always telling you these long guides how finding a girl is some sort of rocket science?
Best way to find out if a girl likes you is to grab her by the ass. If she slaps you or is in any other way uncomfortable, repeat it on another girl. Eventually someone will accept you and you will be able to pass on your genetic material, thus fulfilling your evolutionary purpose.
ROFL
Listen to Captain Caveman here. Don't worry if you end up with 8 STDs its evolution!
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This was a great read, nice blog :D
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Girl advice-giving blog attracts girlblog-style posts...
Nice little write-up; liked the characters.
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To me, this really sounds like a guide of how to make friends that happen to be girls rather than how to get a girlfriend. Several points here that will make you instant friend material... admitting that you're shy, waiting several months as friends and becoming the girls emotional tampon before you try to begin the relationship... none of these things develop attraction.
The only good advice in here is to be confident. But if you're not already confident? Great advice here, just let the girl know that you're not confident instead of practicing.
I liked the pictures, but this girl advice coming from a girl sounds like pretty much every girl advice blog. You've got a girl who knows what she likes in friends, but she doesn't fully grasp what a guy does to make her attracted. Why would she? She's not picking up girls. Would you rather learn how to pitch from the guy pitching or the catcher?
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EPT
