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Chef
10810 Posts
Sometimes people make it really difficult for a person to tell them the truth. I'm an honest guy who will tell people things whether it makes them hate me or not, but then, I'm a recluse! Most people don't want to face the wrath of a person who can't take the truth. It's the only way you can function in society, and I definitely don't function  | ||
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Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
On January 17 2011 10:09 luckyseven wrote: how many women have you heard say something like "oh i dont like him/her, theyre so miserable all the time!" whether they actually know the person or not. i hear it all the fucking time, when i might feel sympathetic towards a sad-looking person, a girl will just feel repulsed. its coz women only give a fuck about how you can make THEM feel. they dont actually give a fuck about YOU: only what you can DO for them. if you cant make them feel attracted or you cant smile at them and play on their primal nature then they will chuck you out the window, abandon you and want nothing to do with you. you know what my friend of 3 years said to me when i was feeling bad recently and we met up in town? "why did you agree to meet up if you're going to be like THIS??" how do you think that made me feel?? any better??? is that really the way you should talk to a friend???? women are not supportive or kind, dont kid yourself. they react to smile with smile but will just as quickly leave you in the dirt if you dont live up to their standards one day. and believe me, they will just as quickly come running back if you turn up feeling confident again the next week. but i've had enough of being treated like an emotional pick-n-mix. my friend was dumped recently by his wife of 5 yrs just because she got some emotional stimulation from a new guy and hence stopped caring completely abt her husband. women are unreliable and you can't trust them with your emotional well-being. they will stab you in the back as soon as you're feeling down and you cant give them what they want. if you want to get a girl (or girls) heres the best tip: go 100,000 miles away from them and train up your personal self and skills for 10 years until you are so frickin happy with yourself that nothing can bring you down. having any sort of emotional dependance or reliance on or trust in a woman is asking for a rollercoaster hell of a life that will fuck you up and delay your personal growth time and time and time again. and they will come out of it still beautiful and desireable (unless they're fat) whereas you'll be miserable and feel like a waste that has gone 3 steps forward and 4 steps back Or maybe you're a bitter little shit? My first serious relationship ended when I found out my then-boyfriend-of-20-months was fucking another girl. In my bed. I could go on two mental tangents after that: 1. *all* men are selfish sex-obsessed assholes 2. This particular guy was a selfish sex-obsessed asshole. You generalize far too much. Enjoy your hand, etc. | ||
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Hidden_MotiveS
Canada2562 Posts
edit: still a nice read. One thing I would like to mention. You say girls are a time commitment. But some girls are very busy, just like some guys are. Wouldn't it be nice if they could have a little something going? I don't like the idea of "really busy=no girlfriend until after you've graduated". Some of us work really hard at school.. but that doesn't mean we don't want to be romantic. erhm... oh yes confidence. I think pretty highly of myself :D.... but you say to not fake confidence and then to try to be more confident. I'm not sure how that works out. Perhaps you're saying "don't try to overcompensate and look like a d-bag" like: "hey baby... wanna take a ride on my disco stick" (in laid back accent) But you do want guys to not be like "oh... what do I do... what do I do... there's that cute girl again... do I aks her out... now what if I ruin my friendship with her... I have to be rational and think about the potential outcomes and consequences of my actions...". Be like Nike and just do it. You'll be happy you did. That's my interpretation on what you were saying. | ||
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luckyseven
179 Posts
1. man is loyal if he finds her physically attractive, she doesnt have to worry about losing her man if she gets depressed or loses confidence or has a shitty ego or whatever. she doesnt have a hard job of earning and maintaining attraction, being a manly rock, knowing that if she shows weakness then her man will lose interest and be easily taken. of course age and the dwindling nature of physical attraction may eventually have a part to play, but ive found that if a guy falls in love with a girl then he will "love her nomatter her age or looks (so long as she has a pussy and tits)". on the other hand a woman will never love a man "nomatter his confidence and coolness", the attraction just wont be there. 2. if she ISNT attractive then its not a case of a man thinking "this girls a dufus" or "this girls a chode" or "this girls repulsive coz she has no confidence" or "im gonna look down on this girl coz shes not making me laugh" or "im gonna ditch her coz shes spoiling my mood". it is just a case of the man thinking "i dont find her attractive but we can still be friends, whatever". this 2nd point is more than obvious when you get women in a workplace together where their lack of attraction for one another just lets their basic personality and the way they view and treat other people shine thru: they fight and squabble and hate on one another. men dont do this, they will generally be affable. l is it okay to judge someone and treat someone based on how confident and cool they come accross as today? this is how women treat men is it okay to judge someone and treat someone based on how they look? this is how men treat women is one better than the other? they both have their issues (as demonstrated) . "love" and relationships is pretty much about meeting each other part-way, in the middle of this rather nasty and unforgiving balance. when it works it can be a beautiful thing, but dont go letting the teamliquid nerds thinking they have what it takes. 100,000 miles and 10 years and maybe you'll be good enough to find true happiness in our human condition. 1 million divorces in 2008 in USA, thats a shit lot of suffering dont you think. is it worth it? are you one of the awesome lucky ones? or do you think you need to work on yourself a damn LOT before you can take care of yourself enough to take care of another person (who is actually not all that reliable on a subconscious/primal level) | ||
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jon arbuckle
Canada443 Posts
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a176
Canada6688 Posts
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Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
Anyway i'm on a phone atm but i'll definitely get back to you when i can. edit: Whooooo internet at the airport while I wait for a plane. Perfect time to respond! On January 17 2011 13:00 luckyseven wrote: well actually what i said is true for men also, except men base their attraction on a girl's looks rather than the way the girl acts. men also dont look DOWN on unattractive women, although they do look up to attractive women. women look down on people they arent attracted to (ie people who arent , in the moment, cool and cant make them laugh and give them a good vibe). these mean 2 things Men don't look down on unattractive women? Are you sure about that? I hear ugly girls ridiculed alll the time, by both men and women. Well let me rephrase that, ugly *people* ridiculed by both genders regularly. In the "club scene" as it were, unattractive women are indeed looked down on. 1. man is loyal if he finds her physically attractive, she doesnt have to worry about losing her man if she gets depressed or loses confidence or has a shitty ego or whatever. she doesnt have a hard job of earning and maintaining attraction, being a manly rock, knowing that if she shows weakness then her man will lose interest and be easily taken. of course age and the dwindling nature of physical attraction may eventually have a part to play, but ive found that if a guy falls in love with a girl then he will "love her nomatter her age or looks (so long as she has a pussy and tits)". on the other hand a woman will never love a man "nomatter his confidence and coolness", the attraction just wont be there. What? I know plenty of *gorgeous* women who have been cheated on, dumped, left, etc, for plenty petty reasons. Conversely, sure there are some shallow women out there who will dumb a guy if he loses his cool, but there are plenty of couples out there who have lasted through all sorts of hardships and changes. 2. if she ISNT attractive then its not a case of a man thinking "this girls a dufus" or "this girls a chode" or "this girls repulsive coz she has no confidence" or "im gonna look down on this girl coz shes not making me laugh" or "im gonna ditch her coz shes spoiling my mood". it is just a case of the man thinking "i dont find her attractive but we can still be friends, whatever". Have you ever been hit on by an obnoxious, ugly drunk idiot who will just NOT leave you alone? Ever had men shout cat calls at you? Animosity in these cases is hardly unfounded. Aside from which, what is your point here? That physical attraction should somehow override personality? Do you *want* us to be shallow? Sure we'll tolerate more from a really attractive guy. But if he genuinely makes us feel bad, why on earth should we put up with it? this 2nd point is more than obvious when you get women in a workplace together where their lack of attraction for one another just lets their basic personality and the way they view and treat other people shine thru: they fight and squabble and hate on one another. men dont do this, they will generally be affable. l This is a majorly overblown stereotype. I've worked office jobs before and gotten along perfectly fine with other female coworkers. The nurses at my doctor's office go out together after work. Again I'm sure you can find cat-fights on occasion, but it's unfair to say that if you put a bunch of women together, they'll just naturally start fighting. is it okay to judge someone and treat someone based on how confident and cool they come accross as today? this is how women treat men What else are we to judge someone on? Assessing someone on actions alone is a nice ideal, but far from practical. is it okay to judge someone and treat someone based on how they look? this is how men treat women It may not be "right", but *everyone* does this on a daily basis. Our society applauds such judgment, whether we want to admit it or not. is one better than the other? they both have their issues (as demonstrated) . "love" and relationships is pretty much about meeting each other part-way, in the middle of this rather nasty and unforgiving balance. when it works it can be a beautiful thing, but dont go letting the teamliquid nerds thinking they have what it takes. 100,000 miles and 10 years and maybe you'll be good enough to find true happiness in our human condition. 1 million divorces in 2008 in USA, thats a shit lot of suffering dont you think. is it worth it? are you one of the awesome lucky ones? or do you think you need to work on yourself a damn LOT before you can take care of yourself enough to take care of another person (who is actually not all that reliable on a subconscious/primal level) I agree. Learn to love yourself before you can really love another. Marriage is another topic entirely. | ||
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vitruvia
Canada235 Posts
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Spike
United States1392 Posts
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lone_hydra
Canada1460 Posts
Turns out of all the Asian women in Shanghai, this one spoke neither English or Mandarin. She was Korean... After some failed attempts between me with some weird body language and her with her little knowledge Mandarin and English, we awkwardly said bye and went our own ways. This blog let me down. No where did it mention anything like this and what to do. 3 out of 5. Would have given it a 1 but got me past stage 1 although I'm pretty sure she had no clue what I said. | ||
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Joementum
787 Posts
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cArn-
Korea (South)824 Posts
On January 27 2011 22:52 Joementum wrote: Tip of the day: Want more confidence? Drink a beer, or three before talking to a girl. Make sure you're not drunk though (it would be sad if you get drunk off 3 beers). Your confidence levels go way up when there's some alcohol in you. Alcohol level needed will vary. Raj would strongly disagree, being drunk is mandatory to increase tenfold your confidence | ||
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Saechiis
Netherlands4989 Posts
On January 27 2011 21:58 lone_hydra wrote: I went to talk to some chick checking out some skirts in a department store today. I walked up to her and said "that would look nice on you" in mandarin. She smiled and I thought boo ya, I'm ballin', now onto stage 2. Turns out of all the Asian women in Shanghai, this one spoke neither English or Mandarin. She was Korean... After some failed attempts between me with some weird body language and her with her little knowledge Mandarin and English, we awkwardly said bye and went our own ways. This blog let me down. No where did it mention anything like this and what to do. 3 out of 5. Would have given it a 1 but got me past stage 1 although I'm pretty sure she had no clue what I said. Or she was creeped out by the fact that a random stranger was assessing how she'd look in a skirt. But yeah, probably the language barrier ^.^ Great thread btw, next time I see a cute girl, I'll go up to her, admit I'm a bit shy and burst out in tears. I'll be crying in her lap in no time | ||
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skyR
Canada13817 Posts
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Earll
Norway847 Posts
If you try too hard to get a relationship going quickly, she'll get flustered and will back away. Of course, it could work, but more times than not, she'll want to be friends first, and get to know you more before she trusts you with her feelings or her heart. If you honestly, really like a girl, she'll be a time investment. You'll get to know her over a few months, she'll get to know you, and when(if) you finally start dating, it'll be rewarding, because you'll be close already from the friendship you two created. If you want to get a morethanfriend relationship though then this is not really that great of an idea. In my opinion there are really only 2 main parts you need to get handled if you want to get some success with girls, the first one being confidence, and the 2nd one being intent/being able to show intent. (Though I guess when you are confident, and you want a girl, you are more likely to not be afraid of showing intent or whatever so they do kind of go hand in hand.*) Anyway If you meet a girl that you would like to be more than friends with you should make sure she knows what is up as soon as possible. Trying to 'sneak in under the radar' and just be friends and then suddenly being like "suprise, I have a penis and would like to insert it into you" will not work. I am sure most of y'all have heard about the friendzone, it is not a zone you want to ever enter if you want to get anywhere more than friends with a girl. Though your wording is here is kind of relevant I guess since you are talking about relationships and opening up her heart and stuff, and obviously you dont want to be like "Hi I am so lonely will you please be my girlfriend and we can be in love and stuffs" when you first meet her, but you need to let her know that you are not just some platonic guy friend, by being flirtacious\sexual with her. Whenever you meet up with any girl you are interested in you should try to get physical with her as fast as possible just to set that tone, if you have known a girl/met up with her several times and just been all friendlyfriendtypeguy and then suddenly try to make moves its going to be kind of creepy\akward and also it will be pretty hard to get out of the friendzone unless the girl has some sort of crush on you or whatever (Which, no matter how awesome you are , is very unlikely to happen unless you show some intent.) But if you ,for example the first time you meet her hug her, and in general you just are a physical guy around her, then taking things further will be , as day9 would say it, the most normal thing in the world. As somewhat of a sidenote, if a girl Likes you, then you are about 10000 times more likely to not get anywhere with her because you did not show enough intent, compared to you showing too much intent. | ||
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VorcePA
United States1102 Posts
On January 15 2011 18:35 Raeleigh wrote: So TL, how does that sound? Do I sound ridiculous or does some of this sound semi-helpful? Haha. Sorry if you don't agree with it, but this is just what I think you guys should be watching out for and really taking into consideration. It's semi-helpful and also semi-ridiculous. "Fake it until you make it" works. I'm a perverted, pessimistic, bitter asshole, but I dress well, hold my head high, am highly intelligent, and pretend to be positive, especially in places where there's attractive women about, such as college; I also know how to dance when the occasion calls for it. So, basically, I am as successful with women as I feel like being, within the bounds of the 10% rule (for every 10 women you talk to, you'll have success with 1). All it requires is that I put on a show, which encompasses nothing about being honest. On January 15 2011 18:43 NeverGG wrote: The illustrations are so cute. I kind of skimmed it, but the advice seems sound and I agree about some of us girls finding the whole 'baller'/d-bag attitude a bit overpowering and kind of lame. It's not really relevant to me personally because I've found that most guys can't get past me being ugly, and having really geeky hobbies (far geekier than SC.) and most of the guys I've liked myself have already got girlfriends, or see me as friend-material only due to these issues. As a single guy who's seen where you are on the attractiveness scale, your biggest turn off [to me] is your lack of confidence. | ||
Chill
Calgary25998 Posts
On January 16 2011 10:24 Raeleigh wrote: On another note: Can mods just lock this blog? It's derailed from the original purpose, and I'm a bit disappointed it's done so. Done. The way you handled criticism in this thread is appalling. If you want to open discussion on TL, you have to be able to justify yourself to people who don't buy in so quickly. I happen to agree with everything Rekrul posted (well, up until the "that's how you pick up girls"). You can't just take the praise while brushing off all criticism as offensive. | ||
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Chill
Calgary25998 Posts
I'm sorry, when did I say I only had 2 serious relationships? I've had more than 2 relationships, but only 2 of them were serious. ??? | ||
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