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On January 16 2011 07:53 7mk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 07:25 Raeleigh wrote:
Sorry I don't make myself clear! x_x
The main idea of this blog was to really focus on the guys who have a hard time starting that first line of a communication with a girl.
I feel i'm personally well fitted to help with something like this. I was a lot more shy when I was younger, but I spent the time figuring out what made me shy, and thought of a reaction to this action.
Now, I make friends easily, I get along with most people, and I absolutely love socializing.
The underlying idea was that once you have this line of communication, obviously depending on the type of girl it is and type of relationship you have, then creating the friendship, and moving onto the getting into a relationship phase.
This is all the basis for a healthy relationship in my opinion. There are so many factors that can go into a great relationship. But this, if you're shy, would be a great way to start out something that you can enjoy and really find what your limits are.
If you're looking for a fuck buddy, watch Jersey Shore. Apparently asking a girl if she's DTF and showing her your abs is an A+ Technique. ^_~ OK guess I was like half wrong or something. I still dont get this whole friendship first idea though. And I'm pretty sure most of the females I know wouldn't get it either. But yeah you definitely seem extroverted now.
I'd never really thought about it before, but this thread has me thinking. For what it's worth, every guy I've dated in the past has been someone I had met recently. Friend of a friend, guy at a party/club, guy from class, etc. Never someone I've known for a long period of time.
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On January 16 2011 08:19 Raeleigh wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 07:50 7mk wrote:
Well if you have two people and they are both interested in each other then that's a pretty damn good basis for something to happen, yes.
But women dont always know if they want you or not, or they are too shy or whatever to do anything about it, if you're a bit aggressive then you can turn the whole situation into something happening.
If she gets to know you as a friend first then the whole excitement if meeting this new person just fades away and it's less and less likely anything is gonna happen.
Your counter example seems a bit weird - you were friends with someone for six months and you wouldnt have minded dating him, however - nothing happened.
Maybe that's because the guy felt like he should become friends with you first and if he had just straight out approached you in a different way and asked you out then he might've gotten what he wanted. Instead you were just friends for several months and then you met your current boyfriend.
You say "once you're friends and you're both equally interested, it's easier to transition into a relationship"
? If you just ask someone out and start dating - then that is quite clearly a lotttt easier to transition into a relationship than being friends with someone.
wtf it seriously took me more than 25 min to write this? damn i must be too drunk Perhaps you shouldn't be answering then. The idea of my example was that had he said something, I would have been okay with it. Nothing happened because he's still hung up on his ex, so I said take his time, no big deal. It is easier to just ask someone out and go from there, but you're not reading what I'm saying. This blog isn't just for people who can straight out say, "Hey, wanna date?" It's about getting to that point. Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 07:53 7mk wrote:
OK guess I was like half wrong or something.
I still dont get this whole friendship first idea though. And I'm pretty sure most of the females I know wouldn't get it either.
But yeah you definitely seem extroverted now. I just LOVE how often I need to repeat myself, because reading is definitely very difficult. This is everything from my point of view, for people who can't just jump into and say, "Hey, you're cute, wanna go out sometime?" It's the idea that you worked up to it, and if it didn't work out, then you can look back at what you did, what you learned, and maybe try a bit faster next time. That's fine that most females won't get it. I don't expect them to. Again, I knew people would disagree, and I'm fine with that. I'm not here to argue why this will work or why not, I'm here to share a point of view that might work for someone, and if it doesn't, then try something else.
Your point is a bit weird here
"it's not about those people, it's about getting there"
..? Yes of course it is, all advice is for something you otherwise might not be capable of doing yourself. You didnt actually have to repeat that, despite loving doing so.
The feeling I get however, is that you might be leading people to a place they dont wanna be at.
You make it sound like this blog is about making guys dare to be more outgoing and making steps towards having a relationship with someone theyre interested in. You think the step towards a good relationship is friendship. I heavily disagree and think they might just end up being stuck in a friendship they dont want. No need to become so defensive.
Me having had a few drinks doesnt mean my opinion has changed or become invalid, me taking so long is actually a good sign that I'm thinking before I post.
Also I thought your example was about someone who just showed the intention of being friends. Now you mention that you specifically told him to take his time. Which is not something you say to someone who is acting like he only wants to be friends.
Of course this is all just my opinion
/shrug
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
The whole bs of classifying such things into 'friendship' and 'relationship' is pointless. Each are so immeasurable and intertwined in so many varying degrees that talking about this subject saying such things as 'try to build a friendship first' is just blank useless jibber-jabber.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
And:
If you can't be 100% confident, don't fake it. I remember reading a thread that said, "Not confident yet? Fake it until it is." That's the worst way to do it. If you're not 100% confident yet, and you're getting there, you do the best with what you have. Being honest and being who you are is what a girl will want. I don't want someone to pretend they're confident, and pretend they're awesome. I want someone to know they're pretty confident, and know they're pretty awesome. So will other girls.
IMO this is the only part of your thread of real value. Girls want real-ness no matter what level it comes on.
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Netherlands4511 Posts
there ain't nothing to it but to do it
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On January 16 2011 09:14 7mk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 08:19 Raeleigh wrote:On January 16 2011 07:50 7mk wrote:
Well if you have two people and they are both interested in each other then that's a pretty damn good basis for something to happen, yes.
But women dont always know if they want you or not, or they are too shy or whatever to do anything about it, if you're a bit aggressive then you can turn the whole situation into something happening.
If she gets to know you as a friend first then the whole excitement if meeting this new person just fades away and it's less and less likely anything is gonna happen.
Your counter example seems a bit weird - you were friends with someone for six months and you wouldnt have minded dating him, however - nothing happened.
Maybe that's because the guy felt like he should become friends with you first and if he had just straight out approached you in a different way and asked you out then he might've gotten what he wanted. Instead you were just friends for several months and then you met your current boyfriend.
You say "once you're friends and you're both equally interested, it's easier to transition into a relationship"
? If you just ask someone out and start dating - then that is quite clearly a lotttt easier to transition into a relationship than being friends with someone.
wtf it seriously took me more than 25 min to write this? damn i must be too drunk Perhaps you shouldn't be answering then. The idea of my example was that had he said something, I would have been okay with it. Nothing happened because he's still hung up on his ex, so I said take his time, no big deal. It is easier to just ask someone out and go from there, but you're not reading what I'm saying. This blog isn't just for people who can straight out say, "Hey, wanna date?" It's about getting to that point. On January 16 2011 07:53 7mk wrote:
OK guess I was like half wrong or something.
I still dont get this whole friendship first idea though. And I'm pretty sure most of the females I know wouldn't get it either.
But yeah you definitely seem extroverted now. I just LOVE how often I need to repeat myself, because reading is definitely very difficult. This is everything from my point of view, for people who can't just jump into and say, "Hey, you're cute, wanna go out sometime?" It's the idea that you worked up to it, and if it didn't work out, then you can look back at what you did, what you learned, and maybe try a bit faster next time. That's fine that most females won't get it. I don't expect them to. Again, I knew people would disagree, and I'm fine with that. I'm not here to argue why this will work or why not, I'm here to share a point of view that might work for someone, and if it doesn't, then try something else. Your point is a bit weird here "it's not about those people, it's about getting there" ..? Yes of course it is, all advice is for something you otherwise might not be capable of doing yourself. You didnt actually have to repeat that, despite loving doing so. The feeling I get however, is that you might be leading people to a place they dont wanna be at. You make it sound like this blog is about making guys dare to be more outgoing and making steps towards having a relationship with someone theyre interested in. You think the step towards a good relationship is friendship. I heavily disagree and think they might just end up being stuck in a friendship they dont want. No need to become so defensive. Me having had a few drinks doesnt mean my opinion has changed or become invalid, me taking so long is actually a good sign that I'm thinking before I post. Also I thought your example was about someone who just showed the intention of being friends. Now you mention that you specifically told him to take his time. Which is not something you say to someone who is acting like he only wants to be friends. Of course this is all just my opinion /shrug
That's fine if you disagree. For the millionth time, I expected people to disagree about the whole idea of a passive look on becoming friends, or starting a relationship. I'm not defensive at all, by the way. Sorry you read it like that.
If they don't want to be at this level of friendship, like I have said, then they don't have to be.
The thing I was saying is, you establish that first level of friendship. Hey, I know you, you know me, I know you like starcraft 2, that's cool. That is that basic level of acquaintance and friendship you want to have with someone.
From there, it depends how confident you feel and how you want to proceed.
You could
a. Right away ask her if she wants to go out, if you feel you're confident enough to do it.
or
b. Become better friends, and while doing so, keep hinting that you'd like to hang out more, you'd like to become more than friends.
I haven't been saying, "Become best friends and then ask her out."
On January 16 2011 09:17 Rekrul wrote:
The whole bs of classifying such things into 'friendship' and 'relationship' is pointless. Each are so immeasurable and intertwined in so many varying degrees that talking about this subject saying such things as 'try to build a friendship first' is just blank useless jibber-jabber.
It's unfortunate you think that, but unless you can provide me with some facts, I won't believe it.
I think there is reason to classify them and really distinguish them, if you want. -shrug-
On January 16 2011 09:19 Rekrul wrote:And: Show nested quote +If you can't be 100% confident, don't fake it. I remember reading a thread that said, "Not confident yet? Fake it until it is." That's the worst way to do it. If you're not 100% confident yet, and you're getting there, you do the best with what you have. Being honest and being who you are is what a girl will want. I don't want someone to pretend they're confident, and pretend they're awesome. I want someone to know they're pretty confident, and know they're pretty awesome. So will other girls. IMO this is the only part of your thread of real value. Girls want real-ness no matter what level it comes on.
I would assume things like dealing with anxiety would have real value, but I assumed wrong I guess.
At least you found something to be positive about.
On January 16 2011 09:27 Liquid`Ret wrote:
there ain't nothing to it but to do it
Indeed.
If you're going to disagree with me, I'm perfectly fine with that. Like I've said, I understand that this is only one way of many to proceed about something like this. If you don't agree, that's fine. But please don't pick apart the blog. I'm just giving insight into something I feel I can. -shrug-
If you have an honest problem with it, and don't think that being friends will get you anywhere, that's fine, ignore what i've said and move on. If it turns out this doesn't work for people, that's fine, they can tell me, and try something different.
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It's fine! *scoffs* *shrugs*
Why do people pretend not to care when they do? Actually, that seems to be a running theme here.
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On January 16 2011 09:44 Chef wrote:
It's fine! *scoffs* *shrugs*
Why do people pretend not to care when they do? Actually, that seems to be a running theme here.
I hope you're not making fun of my shrugs :c
But may I ask what you mean by People pretending not to care when they do? And it being a running theme? D:
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I agree with Rekrul. You don't need to define your relationship with someone to make it progress. It is also different to each individual. How in the world would anyone show facts of how friendships strengthen relationships? If you can't distinguish the difference yourself between a friendship and a relationship you are probably being delusional.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On January 16 2011 09:35 Raeleigh wrote:
On January 16 2011 09:17 Rekrul wrote:
The whole bs of classifying such things into 'friendship' and 'relationship' is pointless. Each are so immeasurable and intertwined in so many varying degrees that talking about this subject saying such things as 'try to build a friendship first' is just blank useless jibber-jabber.
It's unfortunate you think that, but unless you can provide me with some facts, I won't believe it.
I think there is reason to classify them and really distinguish them, if you want. -shrug-
You didn't get my point.
When you've finally established that friendship with a girl, and you're talking to her, but worried she thinks you talk to much, do not act indifferent. Just wait for her to text you first next time, or give it a few days and come back and ask what's new in her life. If she talks to you, still act interested, but listen more than talk. If you act indifferent towards her, you're going to hurt her. If she's interested in you at all, she might rethink her interest and think, "Oh no, maybe he really doesn't like me.." and she'll stop before she gets hurt. Or, she may continue on. Really depends on the friendship you 2 have.
You keep talking about 'establishing a friendship' with a girl in such vague and light terms. There are so many levels of 'friendship' between a guy and a girl such as 'i know this guy by name,' 'we talk here and there but i have no real interest but i like the attention he gives me,' 'we talk sometimes and i really like this guy,' 'we've been best friends for years.' (obviously a tiny amount of examples).
In any relationship, whether it be platonic, sexual/romantic, a bit of both, or neither yet but with possibilities is extremely unique on so many levels that all your random examples of 'what to do in scenario x when u establish a *friendship*(whatever that may be in ur mind)' are not only fruitless but show a lot of ignorance from you.
It's as if your post is using your limited experiences witnessed by yourself and your friends to make blanket statements on how to 'help guys approach girls,' but while you made a good effort and ur pictures are cute...this thread isn't going to bear any results except maybe it will help some completely socially inept guys a little bit.
You basically used a lot of words to say this:
'Be confident, be yourself, make sure to try, don't try to force things but don't sit back either.'
Which is totally true if a guy could read that sentence and apply it to himself, but that's just not the way it works. Only through real interaction, real observation, and learning from these things can a guy improve.
Which is why ur blog is just a whole lotta banter with a whole lotta 0-relevance information.
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Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 09:17 Rekrul wrote:
The whole bs of classifying such things into 'friendship' and 'relationship' is pointless. Each are so immeasurable and intertwined in so many varying degrees that talking about this subject saying such things as 'try to build a friendship first' is just blank useless jibber-jabber. It's unfortunate you think that, but unless you can provide me with some facts, I won't believe it. I think there is reason to classify them and really distinguish them, if you want. -shrug- Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 09:19 Rekrul wrote:And: If you can't be 100% confident, don't fake it. I remember reading a thread that said, "Not confident yet? Fake it until it is." That's the worst way to do it. If you're not 100% confident yet, and you're getting there, you do the best with what you have. Being honest and being who you are is what a girl will want. I don't want someone to pretend they're confident, and pretend they're awesome. I want someone to know they're pretty confident, and know they're pretty awesome. So will other girls. IMO this is the only part of your thread of real value. Girls want real-ness no matter what level it comes on. I would assume things like dealing with anxiety would have real value, but I assumed wrong I guess. At least you found something to be positive about.
I'd put some weight in Rekrul's opinion if I were you (not criticizing, just saying.....really~), since he does have quite a bit of personal experience.
I'm guessing he found only a small portion of your entry valuable because the rest is probably quite obvious or pointless to consider at least to him (i.e. I don't think he gets particularly anxious or is a very shy dude). I do tend to agree with rekrul's first quote, since relationships between people are generally unclassifiable--no one knows perfectly the workings of the mind--and are rather pointless to attempt to classify...though it might have been somewhat undiplomatic of him.
In the end, actually forming relationship and talking to girls is more fruitful than reading about it, because everyone's way of meeting his/her partner comes with his/her own approach to it. While this information is nice and/or enlightening, actual experience is the most important because intuition and natural experience trumps personally memorized text or premature opinions about others that may or may not apply to oneself/the people with whom one forms relationships, I think.
I loved the pictures as well, by the way! Good choice of image format 
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On January 16 2011 10:04 Rekrul wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 09:35 Raeleigh wrote:
On January 16 2011 09:17 Rekrul wrote:
The whole bs of classifying such things into 'friendship' and 'relationship' is pointless. Each are so immeasurable and intertwined in so many varying degrees that talking about this subject saying such things as 'try to build a friendship first' is just blank useless jibber-jabber.
It's unfortunate you think that, but unless you can provide me with some facts, I won't believe it.
I think there is reason to classify them and really distinguish them, if you want. -shrug-
You didn't get my point. Show nested quote +When you've finally established that friendship with a girl, and you're talking to her, but worried she thinks you talk to much, do not act indifferent. Just wait for her to text you first next time, or give it a few days and come back and ask what's new in her life. If she talks to you, still act interested, but listen more than talk. If you act indifferent towards her, you're going to hurt her. If she's interested in you at all, she might rethink her interest and think, "Oh no, maybe he really doesn't like me.." and she'll stop before she gets hurt. Or, she may continue on. Really depends on the friendship you 2 have. You keep talking about 'establishing a friendship' with a girl in such vague and light terms. There are so many levels of 'friendship' between a guy and a girl such as 'i know this guy by name,' 'we talk here and there but i have no real interest but i like the attention he gives me,' 'we talk sometimes and i really like this guy,' 'we've been best friends for years.' (obviously a tiny amount of examples). In any relationship, whether it be platonic, sexual/romantic, a bit of both, or neither yet but with possibilities is extremely unique on so many levels that all your random examples of 'what to do in scenario x when u establish a *friendship*(whatever that may be in ur mind)' are just fruitless and will not help any guy. It's as if your post is using your limited experiences witnessed by yourself and your friends to make blanket statements on how to 'help guys approach girls,' but while you made a good effort and ur pictures are cute...this thread isn't going to bear any results except maybe it will help some completely socially inept guys a little bit. You basically used a lot of words to say this: 'Be confident, be yourself, make sure to try, don't try to force things but don't sit back either.' Which is totally true if a guy could read that sentence and apply it to himself, but that's just not the way it works. Only through real interaction, real observation, and learning from these things can a guy improve. Which is why ur blog is just a whole lotta banter with a whole lotta 0-relevance information.
Hang on Rekrul, she's a girl and therefore an expert on everything about relationships.
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On January 16 2011 10:04 Rekrul wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 09:35 Raeleigh wrote:
On January 16 2011 09:17 Rekrul wrote:
The whole bs of classifying such things into 'friendship' and 'relationship' is pointless. Each are so immeasurable and intertwined in so many varying degrees that talking about this subject saying such things as 'try to build a friendship first' is just blank useless jibber-jabber.
It's unfortunate you think that, but unless you can provide me with some facts, I won't believe it.
I think there is reason to classify them and really distinguish them, if you want. -shrug-
You didn't get my point. Show nested quote +When you've finally established that friendship with a girl, and you're talking to her, but worried she thinks you talk to much, do not act indifferent. Just wait for her to text you first next time, or give it a few days and come back and ask what's new in her life. If she talks to you, still act interested, but listen more than talk. If you act indifferent towards her, you're going to hurt her. If she's interested in you at all, she might rethink her interest and think, "Oh no, maybe he really doesn't like me.." and she'll stop before she gets hurt. Or, she may continue on. Really depends on the friendship you 2 have. You keep talking about 'establishing a friendship' with a girl in such vague and light terms. There are so many levels of 'friendship' between a guy and a girl such as 'i know this guy by name,' 'we talk here and there but i have no real interest but i like the attention he gives me,' 'we talk sometimes and i really like this guy,' 'we've been best friends for years.' (obviously a tiny amount of examples). In any relationship, whether it be platonic, sexual/romantic, a bit of both, or neither yet but with possibilities is extremely unique on so many levels that all your random examples of 'what to do in scenario x when u establish a *friendship*(whatever that may be in ur mind)' are just fruitless and will not help any guy. It's as if your post is using your limited experiences witnessed by yourself and your friends to make blanket statements on how to 'help guys approach girls,' but while you made a good effort and ur pictures are cute...this thread isn't going to bear any results except maybe it will help some completely socially inept guys a little bit. You basically used a lot of words to say this: 'Be confident, be yourself, make sure to try, don't try to force things but don't sit back either.' Which is totally true if a guy could read that sentence and apply it to himself, but that's just not the way it works. Only through real interaction, real observation, and learning from these things can a guy improve. Which is why ur blog is just a whole lotta banter with a whole lotta 0-relevance information.
If you think that's the case, that's fine.
I know plenty of people who I've spoken to who have taken the advice/what I've said differently than you, and they're doing perfectly well.
If you disagree, that's fine. But if you're going to flat out say it's just a bunch of banter with no use, then I have no care for what you're saying or much for you. I'm not saying this to be rude, i'm just telling you how it is.
If I've had people say "Hey, this sounds really good, thanks!" and similar other responses, I'm going to be inclined to think differently. Your one post unfortunately does not prove to me or really show me much more except that you disagree and wish to tell me that it has no use. -shrug-
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How old are you and how much experience do you actually have with serious relationships and or getting people together based on your dating advice/logic?
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On January 16 2011 10:08 Zim23 wrote:
Hang on Rekrul, she's a girl and therefore an expert on everything about relationships.
It'd be nice if I had said something similar to this, wouldn't it? Then you could have stated that with real fact.
On January 16 2011 10:08 Z3kk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 09:17 Rekrul wrote:
The whole bs of classifying such things into 'friendship' and 'relationship' is pointless. Each are so immeasurable and intertwined in so many varying degrees that talking about this subject saying such things as 'try to build a friendship first' is just blank useless jibber-jabber. It's unfortunate you think that, but unless you can provide me with some facts, I won't believe it. I think there is reason to classify them and really distinguish them, if you want. -shrug- On January 16 2011 09:19 Rekrul wrote:And: If you can't be 100% confident, don't fake it. I remember reading a thread that said, "Not confident yet? Fake it until it is." That's the worst way to do it. If you're not 100% confident yet, and you're getting there, you do the best with what you have. Being honest and being who you are is what a girl will want. I don't want someone to pretend they're confident, and pretend they're awesome. I want someone to know they're pretty confident, and know they're pretty awesome. So will other girls. IMO this is the only part of your thread of real value. Girls want real-ness no matter what level it comes on. I would assume things like dealing with anxiety would have real value, but I assumed wrong I guess. At least you found something to be positive about. I'd put some weight in Rekrul's opinion if I were you (not criticizing, just saying.....really~), since he does have quite a bit of personal experience. I'm guessing he found only a small portion of your entry valuable because the rest is probably quite obvious or pointless to consider at least to him (i.e. I don't think he gets particularly anxious or is a very shy dude). I do tend to agree with rekrul's first quote, since relationships between people are generally unclassifiable--no one knows perfectly the workings of the mind--and rather pointless...though it might have been somewhat undiplomatic. I loved the pictures as well, by the way! Good choice of image format
No, I understand what he's saying. But I've pointed out already a few times, this isn't for people who have experience and know what to do. This is for people who have limited knowledge. Also, like I've said, if they would like to try the advice, they can, and if they do and it doesn't work, that's fine, I was wrong. They can try something else.
I've said before, this is just some insight on something I think I can be insightful on. I do not expect absolutely everyone to find this 100% useful or even intelligent. That's fine. I was just just trying to help. :c
That's partially why I included pictures. This wasn't meant to be a serious discussion of "This is bullshit, you're wrong." or "You have some good points." It was just meant to be insightful, maybe help some people, maybe not, and get a few laughs with the pictures. That was it. :/
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On January 16 2011 10:11 Raeleigh wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 10:04 Rekrul wrote:On January 16 2011 09:35 Raeleigh wrote:
On January 16 2011 09:17 Rekrul wrote:
The whole bs of classifying such things into 'friendship' and 'relationship' is pointless. Each are so immeasurable and intertwined in so many varying degrees that talking about this subject saying such things as 'try to build a friendship first' is just blank useless jibber-jabber.
It's unfortunate you think that, but unless you can provide me with some facts, I won't believe it.
I think there is reason to classify them and really distinguish them, if you want. -shrug-
You didn't get my point. When you've finally established that friendship with a girl, and you're talking to her, but worried she thinks you talk to much, do not act indifferent. Just wait for her to text you first next time, or give it a few days and come back and ask what's new in her life. If she talks to you, still act interested, but listen more than talk. If you act indifferent towards her, you're going to hurt her. If she's interested in you at all, she might rethink her interest and think, "Oh no, maybe he really doesn't like me.." and she'll stop before she gets hurt. Or, she may continue on. Really depends on the friendship you 2 have. You keep talking about 'establishing a friendship' with a girl in such vague and light terms. There are so many levels of 'friendship' between a guy and a girl such as 'i know this guy by name,' 'we talk here and there but i have no real interest but i like the attention he gives me,' 'we talk sometimes and i really like this guy,' 'we've been best friends for years.' (obviously a tiny amount of examples). In any relationship, whether it be platonic, sexual/romantic, a bit of both, or neither yet but with possibilities is extremely unique on so many levels that all your random examples of 'what to do in scenario x when u establish a *friendship*(whatever that may be in ur mind)' are just fruitless and will not help any guy. It's as if your post is using your limited experiences witnessed by yourself and your friends to make blanket statements on how to 'help guys approach girls,' but while you made a good effort and ur pictures are cute...this thread isn't going to bear any results except maybe it will help some completely socially inept guys a little bit. You basically used a lot of words to say this: 'Be confident, be yourself, make sure to try, don't try to force things but don't sit back either.' Which is totally true if a guy could read that sentence and apply it to himself, but that's just not the way it works. Only through real interaction, real observation, and learning from these things can a guy improve. Which is why ur blog is just a whole lotta banter with a whole lotta 0-relevance information. If you think that's the case, that's fine. I know plenty of people who I've spoken to who have taken the advice/what I've said differently than you, and they're doing perfectly well. If you disagree, that's fine. But if you're going to flat out say it's just a bunch of banter with no use, then I have no care for what you're saying or much for you. I'm not saying this to be rude, i'm just telling you how it is. If I've had people say "Hey, this sounds really good, thanks!" and similar other responses, I'm going to be inclined to think differently. Your one post unfortunately does not prove to me or really show me much more except that you disagree and wish to tell me that it has no use. -shrug-
This is why I usually don't try to explain semi-complicated concepts to girls. I just let them be and change the subject.
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On January 16 2011 10:21 Rekrul wrote:
This is why I usually don't try to explain semi-complicated concepts to girls. I just let them be and change the subject.
I actually find this extremely insulting to have said to me.
Perhaps you shouldn't have bothered coming into the thread?
I understood everything you said, and yeah, I accept it. I understand you have experience, and that's great. I have my own personal experiences that made me feel like hey, maybe I can make a post and try to help a few people. If I helped no one, I would have considered it a loss. But, with someone I've already known for sure I've helped, I don't consider what I said to be wrong or absolutely terrible
On January 16 2011 10:14 tonight wrote:
How old are you and how much experience do you actually have with serious relationships and or getting people together based on your dating advice/logic?
Sorry, didn't see your post.
May I ask why? Does my age and experience really have everything to do with the fact that I thought I might be able to help a few people?
I didn't know there was a rule against posting a blog I thought people might be semi interested in reading. My bad.
In any case, i'm 20. I've had 2 serious relationships, and I've helped a few people. I'm not going to say a number because I wouldn't know for sure. I don't keep track of everyone I've talked to over the years and have grown away from *_*
On another note: Can mods just lock this blog? It's derailed from the original purpose, and I'm a bit disappointed it's done so.
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NeverGG
United Kingdom5399 Posts
On January 15 2011 23:56 Slayer91 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 15 2011 18:43 NeverGG wrote:
The illustrations are so cute. I kind of skimmed it, but the advice seems sound and I agree about some of us girls finding the whole 'baller'/d-bag attitude a bit overpowering and kind of lame. It's not really relevant to me personally because I've found that most guys can't get past me being ugly, and having really geeky hobbies (far geekier than SC.) and most of the guys I've liked myself have already got girlfriends, or see me as friend-material only due to these issues. You sound like you need a hug, lol. Show nested quote +On January 15 2011 20:14 DNB wrote:
What is it with girls always telling you these long guides how finding a girl is some sort of rocket science?
Best way to find out if a girl likes you is to grab her by the ass. If she slaps you or is in any other way uncomfortable, repeat it on another girl. Eventually someone will accept you and you will be able to pass on your genetic material, thus fulfilling your evolutionary purpose. ROFL Listen to Captain Caveman here. Don't worry if you end up with 8 STDs its evolution!
I miss hugs >.< My friend just went home (she was only studying here) and now it's basically back to being alone outside of work. That's why I posted in the Korea meet up thread (not seeking hugs naturally, but chatting to people for once seems like it could be fun at least.)
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On January 16 2011 10:24 Raeleigh wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 10:21 Rekrul wrote:
This is why I usually don't try to explain semi-complicated concepts to girls. I just let them be and change the subject. I actually find this extremely insulting to have said to me. Perhaps you shouldn't have bothered coming into the thread? I understood everything you said, and yeah, I accept it. I understand you have experience, and that's great. I have my own personal experiences that made me feel like hey, maybe I can make a post and try to help a few people. If I helped no one, I would have considered it a loss. But, with someone I've already known for sure I've helped, I don't consider what I said to be wrong or absolutely terrible
You're taking this the wrong way. I'm all for your effort and trying to help motivate guys who have 0 experience with girls into doing so.
But when I read stuff like:
When it comes to anxiety about affection towards a girl, let her know. Like I said, girls are understanding. Tell her, and if she cares she'll do her best to acomdate you, and to help you. If she doesn't care, she's not worth your time.
Talk to that girl, and at least establish a friendship. The next day, ask her how her day was, what music she likes, what she does for fun. The next day, ask her more about herself, what she does for work, school, what she's really interested in. The next day, ask if she wants to hang out. Each day, you're pushing that limit a bit more. Really imagine you're in a bubble, and really imagine you're stretching it out, each day.
When you've finally established that friendship with a girl, and you're talking to her, but worried she thinks you talk to much, do not act indifferent. Just wait for her to text you first next time, or give it a few days and come back and ask what's new in her life. If she talks to you, still act interested, but listen more than talk. If you act indifferent towards her, you're going to hurt her.
Overreacting is one of the things that can really ruin a friendship, or ruin what a girl had previously thought of you. If you tell her you like her, and she says, "Umm, I don't know how I feel!" you just need to accept it, and tell her to tell you when she does know.
...I just can't help but laugh. This is horrible advice even to a guy who has never talked to a female other than his mom in his life.
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There's been mention of 'Friend Zone' and such.
I'm pretty sure the 'Friend Zone' is what happens if a male acts like a completely asexual being in the company of a female acquaintance.
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EPT
