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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 11:30 Thaniri wrote:
Two schools, study at one abroad for free, but with a small language barrier/no friends, or take student loans and study at home in the native language and with local friends?
Both schools are equally unimpressive.
I don't really have a hard hitting question, I read the first part of this and really enjoyed your answers. You are giving a lot to this community, thank-you.
First off, thanks for being sincere as well, it makes it worth it in my short time off. ^^
Fuck it, go for the one abroad, if we are talking about university it's time to make new friends and experience new thing- plus it's free and I'd say, the experiences that you would have staying at home would be vastly different from the ones you get abroad and this could literally change your entire outlook on life for the the rest of your life.
At your age, I'd say this is relatively little risk for a massive gain.
Yes, there will be a lot more issues, maybe cultural, but a lot of it will force you to recognize your own prejudices and beliefs, and native women love foreign guys, at least the wild ones do ^^ Plus student loans are a bitch. At the end of the day, people either crush undergrad or get crushed, but if you get something out of it, outside of the grades, it stays with you forever. I studied abroad as well, and I don't regret it for second, even though sometimes it was so tough.
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 11:50 Trainninja wrote:
Today is my lucky day, I was just rereading all of your old blogs for inspiration when this post appeared!
1. What should the balance be between duty to provide for your family and taking a risk to further your own ambitions?
2. What keeps you going when you are on your third day without sleep, your head is killing you and your whole body is screaming in protest? Outside of your routine of not sleeping, what else helped manage this?
3. What is your biggest achievement both personally and in business in the last 10 years?
The following questions aren't really related to being a man and might sound really random lol but I'm going to ask them anyway:
4. You have previously mentioned in your older posts that when you were working as a consultant, you would see many CEOs and senior management which can't strategise themselves out of a broom closet. How do you think they got there in the first place?
5. What are your thoughts of Alan Joyce, the CEO of Qantas and his decision to ground the airline for a few days two years ago?
6. Have you read the book 'Problem Solving 101' written by Ken Watanabe. The author is apparently an ex-McKinsey consultant and seeks to teach high level problem solving methodologies in the book. I've only started flicking through it but I can't tell if it's bullshit or not.
7. How do you find time to read Game of Thrones, play Dota and sleep in light of your hectic work schedule? (I'm imagining you do these activities like once a week lol)
I'm going to post more but that's all I can think of at the moment.
You're the best.
^^ ok now you're making me work. keke
1. What should the balance be between duty to provide for your family and taking a risk to further your own ambitions?
As a son, you do as much as you can, but there comes a point where you may feel frustration that you are being held back or you make a couple of sacrifices over a couple of years, but things are really the same. In some ways, your family being dependent on you in such a big way is just keeping things as status quo and no matter how much it hurts, or you feel you are being a bad son, there will be a time to step up to start to really be the man you're supposed to be. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's very true, after all, if it is about becoming more capable, then five years down the road maybe you come back to the family situation and really make a dramatic contribution rather than having been held back for 5 years and become resigned or resentful.
In terms of being a father or husband, I'd say as a husband, young families take risks to re-locate, on new businesses and if your ambition is for the good of your family, you have that right to make the decision - but once the kids come out, you need to be brutally honest, is your ambition for the family or strictly just for yourself and recognize your children deserve the best you can give them, and maybe sacrifices need to be made for their future, but they are equally as important as your ambition at times. I mean we take on ambition to provide more or ensure stability for our family, but there is a point as a father you can't risk it so much that your children don't get a solid chance, you brought them into the world, they give you the gift of their love, we need to respect that- and the degree in which we understand that may be cultural, but as a son, or when the kids are very young, do what you need to do - that much should be clear - to come back the best man you can be.
2. What keeps you going when you are on your third day without sleep, your head is killing you and your whole body is screaming in protest? Outside of your routine of not sleeping, what else helped manage this?
I can't do this anymore, my body is too worn out, but I still needed to do it; I do 5 push-ups, wash my face with cold water, literally every 15-20 mins. Also watching the sun rise is also re-energizing. Eventually you may get into zombie mode, where you just stop thinking about how long or how much longer, but your performance suffers greatly, you are there, but you're quick or reacting with anything creative. Outside of having to do this; don't, getting a good sleep increases desperation and productivity by a factor of 10 at least.
3. What is your biggest achievement both personally and in business in the last 10 years?
Personally, marrying the right woman instead of my ex-gf who I was madly in love with and was for the most part the girl of my dreams. I was lucky in that regards. Had I married my ex-gf I do not think I'd be a successful as I am now.
Business wise, my biggest achievement corporate wise was opening up 6 new national markets within a span of 2 years and 90 flights, but really I think the biggest business achievement was going off on my own in 2010 and still surviving up to this point; I'm not widely successful yet, but for all the things I've given up, by 2014 I finally know and see that I risked it all and it was worth it, regardless how it pans out in the next year. I can die not regretting that at least in business, that I did give it my all and pressed myself to the maximum.
4. You have previously mentioned in your older posts that when you were working as a consultant, you would see many CEOs and senior management which can't strategise themselves out of a broom closet. How do you think they got there in the first place?
Actually there are really just handful of really talented managers, most people have the right background, right training and really rode their success on the market, meaning that the market was growing, so everything they did was basically correct. It is just when shit hits the fan or a new competitor comes in that really knows what they are doing, do people realize that they dont' know what the fuck they've been really doing, but actually this realization happens quite late as all their careers they have been told or thought that they were really the architects of their success, so it just so hard to see. Plus, when the market is down, everyone is down and how many times are their major strategic decisions to be made in an established firm? Not many. The best book for this, would be reading 'good to great'. whether you are in business or not, it is an essential read to get perspective on what it really means to lead and manage.
5. What are your thoughts of Alan Joyce, the CEO of Qantas and his decision to ground the airline for a few days two years ago?
I was actually in Melbourne at the time and was flying at the time as well to Singapore for a wedding on Jetstar. All I can say is, when you get to that point where such an extreme decision was made, you fucked up a lot of times on the way to disaster. It is the same like divorce, people don't fight once and decide to get a divorce, it is unresolved things upon unresolved things over time that just make it impossible to solve a problem when it becomes so buried and all that seems to be an option is time apart.
6. Have you read the book 'Problem Solving 101' written by Ken Watanabe. The author is apparently an ex-McKinsey consultant and seeks to teach high level problem solving methodologies in the book. I've only started flicking through it but I can't tell if it's bullshit or not.
Seems like a good starter book for someone not in business and general society.
7. How do you find time to read Game of Thrones, play Dota and sleep in light of your hectic work schedule? (I'm imagining you do these activities like once a week lol)
Well, Game of Thrones only too 2 weeks to get through all the books and it was a bit exhausting but well worth it and Dota is at least 3 days a week for a couple of games- simply put, both are my ways of de-stressing and feeling a bit normal- although sometimes in dota I get more upset than destressed. But I dont' feel guilty about those things; I need something to get my mind off things that I can't figure out and reading/dota helps me reset a bit. And sleep, when I need to sleep, I sleep, I just pack it in an get as much sleep as I can. You need to know if you're a morning or night person, I'm definitely a day person, so the earlier I sleep the more productive I know I'll be the next day and if I can finish everything a bit earlier, then I can squeeze in a game of dota before my wife makes me feel guilty for not playing with the boys more. ^^
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 11:59 Yorbon wrote:Show nested quote +On February 04 2014 07:54 MightyAtom wrote:On February 04 2014 01:44 Yorbon wrote:
I couldn't stop reading part 1 after i started and went through almost all questions. Just wanted to mention how awesome of a blog that was. Most answers seemed to be very well thought out. As a non-Korean, I enjoyed reading them as well as learning another perspective to look from. Thank you for it.
One question though: I saw the last blog was made in 2011. Have you ever looked back to earlier questions and thought you would answer completely different today?
+ Show Spoiler +I did read through the previous blog before I started this, and surprisingly no, I wouldn't answer it differently probably because I am in my late 30's now, so I've pretty much the guy I've been for the last 5 years or so, maybe I would have answered it differently had I wrote it even 7 years ago.
There is a point where you become the father, the bread winner and it's not about your parent's traditions, but now they are your traditions, I don't justify myself or have insecurities about how I live or what I believe or who I think is wrong or right. I don't need to win any arguments so I can confirm I'm smarter than someone or know more.
Now that cuts both ways, maybe I'm stuck in some wrong thinking now that can't be changed or maybe I don't care about those who are not close to me and have lost some level of compassion or I can think I've lived my life and I only open my mouth when its for people I care about and when I know, insofar as I can know, what I'm talking about. And that comes down to my own views on how hard I have pushed myself to live up to and to fail and to continue to grow in the expectations I've set for myself that were challenging and that made me year on year the better man.
I mean there is a point though, where I should really be clear on my own identity and where I stand on a lot of issues because I have wrestled and have the experience to really now be able to articulate both my feelings and thoughts.
You a lot of guys say, 'i dont give a shit what anyone thinks' but really it's just bravo. And I'll say the same thing, 'I don't give a shit what anyone thinks', but the difference is that is not bravo, rather while I don't give a shit, I am listening, and I am honestly making a judgement does this really matter to me, is it something I can learn from; and reason I can do that is because I am extremely self-assured in my identity of what I know and don't' know and what I do consider right and wrong. And nothing is black and white, but also nothing is just an open rainbow, but rather the decisions I do make come from years of reflection and experience.
but I did read it them through to see if I would change any answers, just in case, instead of assuming that I wouldn't; after all if there were some responses I'd change, I think it would have been a great moment to reflect on why it was like that, but nah, I am what I am. ^^ In a way it's a pity you didn't change, for i find peoples' changes (especially why the change occurred, or the context around a change) particularly interesting. In addition to 'learn from your own mistakes' I generally try to learn from others' as well. The resulting constant movement of my views feels like an endless river at the moment, but maybe that's just me being young. Your train of thought really sounds familiar; that puts me at ease. Thanks for sharing. 
^^, I was expecting something to be different as well, frankly, but I think for something fundamental like this; it is about right, this isn't something I should be flip flopping on, but if you read my blogs on my own perception of myself in business, I've change drastically in the last 4 years. But things like a man's self assurance and my cultural identity and how I interact with the opposite sex, nah, that is pretty much set for me ^^.
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 12:02 darkness wrote:
What's your advice to be a hard worker (not strictly at workplace but in life in general)?
Be focused and understand what that means.
Try to look and find in some my old blog posts, but basically, you need to just be able to make your life pockets of focus; that when you do one thing, it is only that one thing which is on the table;
I think multi-tasking is about concentration and managing a situation;
but focus is about doing a single task well that leads to an achievement.
Say, you're going to a marathon runner, you focus.
Say you're working at Starbucks and one of your staff is late, and you're all over the place, but you pull it together,
great, you managed the situation, saved the day, but you're real accomplishment is?
When you're focused your are looking towards achievement and I think that is what makes someone a 'hard worker' to get that sense and level of achievement.
The only thing I really think that is essential that I need to make my sons understand is:
the importance of focus over that of concentration or just doing well; because only focus leads to achievement, nothing else.
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 13:08 KurtistheTurtle wrote:
What is faith? I don't mean in a religious sense, but not excluding the religious aspect either. In life. What does it qualitatively feel like, and what's the process for cultivating it?
When I was doing my Masters in Divinity (theology basically), I came up with a working definition that as worked for me and that takes away the fluffy airy bullshit - for me anyway-.
Faith is seeing how God sees the world. And your development of faith is that constant development towards being closer to seeing in that way. Of course as Christian, the true sight of faith comes from being in Christ to God, but regardless of true sight or not, I think for the moments we do have faith, we see how things should be rather than how the world has made them to be.
I'd only say if you take my working definition of faith, then it is all matter of testing whether or not the views are aligned by acting at times contrary to what is the social norm in judging others, but before that, to really pray on a daily and regular basic and take it from there. Faith is not a rational or feeling behavior, it is to see the world as God sees it, then it's all about pray first - I personally would say - and then acts of compassion and protection for those who are judged marginalized and punished in our society. That eventually, you see the world by a different set of standards which lead not to further judgement, but reconciliation and of course love.
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On February 04 2014 14:57 MightyAtom wrote:Show nested quote +On February 04 2014 11:59 Yorbon wrote:On February 04 2014 07:54 MightyAtom wrote:On February 04 2014 01:44 Yorbon wrote:
I couldn't stop reading part 1 after i started and went through almost all questions. Just wanted to mention how awesome of a blog that was. Most answers seemed to be very well thought out. As a non-Korean, I enjoyed reading them as well as learning another perspective to look from. Thank you for it.
One question though: I saw the last blog was made in 2011. Have you ever looked back to earlier questions and thought you would answer completely different today?
+ Show Spoiler +I did read through the previous blog before I started this, and surprisingly no, I wouldn't answer it differently probably because I am in my late 30's now, so I've pretty much the guy I've been for the last 5 years or so, maybe I would have answered it differently had I wrote it even 7 years ago.
There is a point where you become the father, the bread winner and it's not about your parent's traditions, but now they are your traditions, I don't justify myself or have insecurities about how I live or what I believe or who I think is wrong or right. I don't need to win any arguments so I can confirm I'm smarter than someone or know more.
Now that cuts both ways, maybe I'm stuck in some wrong thinking now that can't be changed or maybe I don't care about those who are not close to me and have lost some level of compassion or I can think I've lived my life and I only open my mouth when its for people I care about and when I know, insofar as I can know, what I'm talking about. And that comes down to my own views on how hard I have pushed myself to live up to and to fail and to continue to grow in the expectations I've set for myself that were challenging and that made me year on year the better man.
I mean there is a point though, where I should really be clear on my own identity and where I stand on a lot of issues because I have wrestled and have the experience to really now be able to articulate both my feelings and thoughts.
You a lot of guys say, 'i dont give a shit what anyone thinks' but really it's just bravo. And I'll say the same thing, 'I don't give a shit what anyone thinks', but the difference is that is not bravo, rather while I don't give a shit, I am listening, and I am honestly making a judgement does this really matter to me, is it something I can learn from; and reason I can do that is because I am extremely self-assured in my identity of what I know and don't' know and what I do consider right and wrong. And nothing is black and white, but also nothing is just an open rainbow, but rather the decisions I do make come from years of reflection and experience.
but I did read it them through to see if I would change any answers, just in case, instead of assuming that I wouldn't; after all if there were some responses I'd change, I think it would have been a great moment to reflect on why it was like that, but nah, I am what I am. ^^ In a way it's a pity you didn't change, for i find peoples' changes (especially why the change occurred, or the context around a change) particularly interesting. In addition to 'learn from your own mistakes' I generally try to learn from others' as well. The resulting constant movement of my views feels like an endless river at the moment, but maybe that's just me being young. Your train of thought really sounds familiar; that puts me at ease. Thanks for sharing. ^^, I was expecting something to be different as well, frankly, but I think for something fundamental like this; it is about right, this isn't something I should be flip flopping on, but if you read my blogs on my own perception of myself in business, I've change drastically in the last 4 years. But things like a man's self assurance and my cultural identity and how I interact with the opposite sex, nah, that is pretty much set for me ^^. I vaguely remember reading part of a blog on some business experiences written by you quite a while back. I might just give that a try indeed, should be interesting.
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Hey MA. I've read a lot of your blogs and love every bit of them ^_^
Here's my question: how to improve social skills?
I consider myself to be more introverted, so in most social situations, I just try to ask questions and let the other person talk. It works and makes the encounter less awkward, but, in my experience, it doesn't create many deep relationships. I feel that by not really talking much myself, I'm not giving much value to another person. Still, I would prefer silence than hearing myself bullshitting about uninteresting stuff. I have a few good friends who are not bothered by my preference to silence that much, but I feel it's hard to make new friends with my current state. Although I don't find this a pressing issue, social skills is one of the areas I want to improve, so I would like to hear your comment about this.
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I've found that it's extremely easy to troll people who think they are smart, both in real life and on TL. I think that contributing things that have merit is really difficult and the easy-way-out is to troll people. Do you think that I should focus on re-igniting my passion for creating content worth while? I often don't feel like creating actual content or posting anything of substance since I feel like i dont have the passion in me anymore and I dont get any pleasure out of it anymore. As such, if I continue to troll, I'll feel happy but at the same time, I'll feel kinda sad that I'm not doing anything of merit.
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 15:47 boon2537 wrote:
Hey MA. I've read a lot of your blogs and love every bit of them ^_^
Here's my question: how to improve social skills?
I consider myself to be more introverted, so in most social situations, I just try to ask questions and let the other person talk. It works and makes the encounter less awkward, but, in my experience, it doesn't create many deep relationships. I feel that by not really talking much myself, I'm not giving much value to another person. Still, I would prefer silence than hearing myself bullshitting about uninteresting stuff. I have a few good friends who are not bothered by my preference to silence that much, but I feel it's hard to make new friends with my current state. Although I don't find this a pressing issue, social skills is one of the areas I want to improve, so I would like to hear your comment about this.
Hey boon2537,
it's funny because I was extremely extroverted when I was younger, but so sick of hearing myself blab on about bullshit, I forced myself to shut up and just listen a lot more ^^
I think the first thing is that, since it isn't naturally you, you need to actually make a conscious effort each and every time you engage, but I think it definitely is a range from introverted to extroverted.
But you need to recognize, a lot of guys you see who are charming, well dress, good dancers, for them, its important and they put a lot of time into doing their hair, picking the clothes they want to wear: for them this is how they express themselves by being an image and of course there is a balance here, too much image, no substance - you'll never get the sophisticated hot ladies, too much substance no image, the ladies except for the one doing her phd - aint going to be looking at you any time soon.
I'd think that you seem very self aware in any case, so this isn't going to be a big stretch for you, and I think for the most part, introverts have extremely good basis for social skills in that, they see the moments when there is awkward silence and do they listen to others, whereas extroverts don't generally care they just go on and on, which does give them a stage to show case their personality, but you'd be surprised as well that they may have many friends and buddies they hang around with but really few close ones as well -
I think though the issue lies in the engage of communication process. You know when you should speak, but your topic doesn't flow like a nice story, sometimes there is no punch line or ending and maybe you slow down the pace of the conversation and all I can say is, its all about getting use to speaking with noticing the cues of others and also just pressing on regardless if you get awkward cues and just drawing them in;
it's like a stand up comic and they have a bad line, but if they press on they can redeem themselves.
The other issue is that extoverts have a lot of cool shit/events that have happened to them recently, no shortage of cool stories that happened last week or yesterday, but introverts tend not to have any real stories that they are the main characters in. So if you try to think of such a story on the spot to add to the topic, likely you will crash and burn. But youll notice that introverts that play a lot of dota or wow, they have lots of cool shit that happened to them in the game, and they can talk endless stories about that, but its not that the rest of the world cares ^^
Extroverts are not looking for a meaningful conversation every time, they just want to feel some energy going on, introverts want to spend meaningful time or then time alone and one major thing would be that introverts that try to play the extrovert game straight get brutally exhausted from enduring all the bullshit to get word in edgewise, while extroverts feel completely repressed to wait their turn to speak and try to listen.
So, I wanted to write the above as a background to my advice.
1. Pick your battles
you see someone you think is interesting, you'd like to get to know more, as a person or a girl, then just observe and don't waste your energy on every person out there, just expend it upon people you think may be worth it. You want a few good more friends or at least see what is out there, then you need to put more effort into it, im no saying hunt down possible friend candidates, but put the effort in if you think that person would be interesting to be friends with and see where it goes.
2. You need to be very deliberate
I know it seems fake, but this ain't a natural state for you, so be sure to pick up cues, but also don't just crop your sentence mid-line just because they want to interject, finish what you have to say, but also the cues you pick to finish off the story faster or to get to the point or to explain in more detail some parts of your story, be aware of it. Some introverts when they finally get the floor, they just go on non-stop and pour out there entire existence and thoughts on the meaning of life. But in any case, sooner or later you will naturally pick up on these engagement cues and it will be natural, but your greatest strength is still your listening.
3. Listening to respond or listening as a sounding post, are two different things
You want to be an active participant in a conversation to add in your 2 cents to show off your darling personality. Just listening so the other person can listen to themselves speak is a waste of time (unless it is a hot chick), but seriously even that, if by the end of it, they know nothing about you then they come away with no impression.
4. Your content for stories
Hell, if you follow what they are saying, you're likely not going to have a story, but I'd say, easiest thing to do is just mention some cool thing that is happening in the world news or something like that and give your opinion on it and also mention straight that you're really more of a listener than a talker. If you do need to hear a story, interject with questions, well what about that, or how did you feel about that, then you can start to share your feelings or thoughts on a more bitsize level. But yes, it's bullshit, but on some level, a bit of your personality will always come out.
5. It is a long time process
It took me about 5 years of deliberate awareness to be more of a listener and introvert and at times I went too far, fundamentally nothing is going to change the fact that I am extroverted, words come easy to me, I have a ton of stories, but I think my need to understand others, especially in business far outweighs my need to entertain myself or stroke my ego.
6. Lastly, sometimes you need to talk to yourself
Well, I haven't done this for ages, but when I was a kid, like 12 years old, I would get into all these arguments with evil nerdy bitchy girls, so sometimes I'd win, sometimes I'd lose, but when I'd go home, I'd go through the conversation and re-act it differently and actually speak what I wanted to say, sometime like martial arts practice for the egotistical little asshole that I was. But, it did help, kind of prepping myself for whatever was coming and I haven't thought of that for ages, but maybe I had the compulsion to be an extrovert, but even expressing myself too an effort to express myself with style.
Just keep in mind, its not just about the content, but the act of the delivery which can be exciting on to itself and watching peoples reactions - and that is what naturally drives an extrovert - the energy of the discussion and maybe focusing on that, rather than just the content may be a good mental start apart from the points above.
Cheers,
MA
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 17:12 tshi wrote:
I've found that it's extremely easy to troll people who think they are smart, both in real life and on TL. I think that contributing things that have merit is really difficult and the easy-way-out is to troll people. Do you think that I should focus on re-igniting my passion for creating content worth while? I often don't feel like creating actual content or posting anything of substance since I feel like i dont have the passion in me anymore and I dont get any pleasure out of it anymore. As such, if I continue to troll, I'll feel happy but at the same time, I'll feel kinda sad that I'm not doing anything of merit.
I think there are 2 things here:
1. it is easy to be the critic, but its fucking tough to put ourselves out there when we know we will get smashed by someone even if our intentions are good or sincere, no matter how thick skinned you are, it bothers everyone to different degrees. I mean I do both, I don't troll people online, but in real life during business meetings, I'll pick on the guy who is trying to impress without knowing who they are talking with, but more for banter and to separate the men from the boys at the table. But if I troll during a business meeting, I'd really be ready to back up my shit or else I'll just look like an insecure asshole.
I mean, you're not trolling to make them better people, rather, they must have an iq around 120-130, know that they are smarter than average, but also have an insecurity that they aren't really that smart, so they go around trying to prove to everyone how smart they really are. But if you're iq is about 135, then you smash eh, but if you're iq is plus 140, you really kinda feel sorry for those guys (at least you feel pity the older you get, but when you're young, it's annoying as shit).
But my point is, you gotta ask yourself, do you also get a kick out of trolling these guys because you want to show you're more intelligent then they are because you know you're at least smarter than them, but is fundamentally just as insecure as them; or it could that you are that smart, but you're just really immature and enjoy hurting people that annoy you. But I think it probably is the later simply because you do seem very self aware of your actions and the other part of it, ie. the merit part. So maybe you're just really bored and have become a bit of a slacker in this regard because of your lack of passion. But if it a matter that you troll and don't contribute in a meaningful way because you're actually insecure about your own intelligence, then you should really just do something else entirely than wasting your time here. Besides saying, grow up or whatever, as a hyung, I'd say, it's just a general waste of time.
2. In terms of not having a pleasure of passion anymore, that is something more related to your general life of where you are at. of course you should re-focus on re-igniting your passion, but that goes without saying that it is more productive than trolling, rather, I think it sounds like you're capable, but generally just bored and not challenged and the content you'd be producing wouldnt' really be great new content, but just a rehash of what you put your time into.
I'd say, if you're not really being an asshole here and trolling me with a question that you seem more than capable of answering yourself, which really does seem to be the case and since I've committed to answer these questions sincerely, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt there, then you need in general more new life experience, like go travel or get a challenging job or get a really hot girlfriend or a few hot girlfriends and then come back to write with some real passion of either pain or enjoyment rather than it being just a big intellectual ego trip of showing what you can do better than others. Cause maybe that is good content for others just as it is but it's just a big waste of time for you.
If you are good, why settle for being good and why not go for the greatest?
There is this thing we say among management consultants when we train the noobies.
'Everyone in this room is smart, the smartest, the quickest thinking, etc but the difference is, that whatever you said or suggested before that was so brilliant before, it was brilliant because everyone else was average, right now, you are average, whatever your first thought that you think solves the problem is garbage, it just shows that you're in the right room, but it wont' impress us or our clients or the CEO who has been running the business for 20 years. What we need is that whatever you say as your next response, it should be the same level of response as if you had 2 weeks to think about only that question and that it is 2 weeks ahead of whatever bullshit that is going to come out of your average heads.'
why be good among the average, and I think that is the real question you should asking, instead of the bullshit you posted above ^^ lets see you be great among the best, take on that, and you'll get your passion back.
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Reading the old blog and this one really shows how different Scandinavian culture is when you explain the gender roles in Korea, how business works and how to be a "man" etc.
Even if it is sometimes a pretty scary and a very backward (in my opinion and from what I have been growing up with) point of view - I really enjoy your contribution.
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All nude mixed gender german style sauna or noob variant with swimwear? Any preference?
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Thanks a lot for doing this again, it's always informative and helpful.
A few questions off the top of my head:
1) What advice would you give to LGBT youth in Korea?
2) Another Korean conversation question. I find that when I meet new people (ie: Koreans), it's difficult to hold conversations that go anywhere or build rapport. Also, when I meet someone new (in an everyday, non-business setting) I never know how or when to switch from 존댓말 into 반말. Since it doesn't actually mean anything to me other than being grammatically different, I'm more than happy to just talk with someone in 존댓말 forever, but I realise that it makes a difference on the other person's part. How do Koreans negotiate this? I realise that age is a factor here, and the fact that I'm a foreigner. Any tips?
3) How do you feel about women who have PhDs or are very successful in their careers and complain that they can't find a good man? On a related note, do you think Korea will ever achieve greater gender equality?
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Hi MightyAtom! Always enjoyed your blogs.
edit: nm
Hope all your business is going well!
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 20:01 Gosi wrote:Reading the old blog and this one really shows how different Scandinavian culture is when you explain the gender roles in Korea, how business works and how to be a "man" etc. Even if it is sometimes a pretty scary and a very backward (in my opinion and from what I have been growing up with) point of view - I really enjoy your contribution.
Thanks, you know what though, a lot of women I've met from Sweden or the UK who said the same thing at the beginning of a night going out - that I was too culturally chauvinistic for them, said by the end of the night that it was also nice to be treated like a woman as well. Go figure ^^
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 20:37 Maxhster wrote:
All nude mixed gender german style sauna or noob variant with swimwear? Any preference?
In Korea all nude male ok,
in Germany- I tried, seriously I tried, but when I saw the daughter and mother there, I couldn't bring myself to do it;
and I'd rather not look like a noob, so I abstained the saunas in Germany, but I did get my Swedish massage in the nude though.^^ I don't know if you can call it pussying out or that it is cultural, but I just couldn't bring myself to go in there. haha.
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 21:11 FuRong wrote:
Thanks a lot for doing this again, it's always informative and helpful.
A few questions off the top of my head:
1) What advice would you give to LGBT youth in Korea?
2) Another Korean conversation question. I find that when I meet new people (ie: Koreans), it's difficult to hold conversations that go anywhere or build rapport. Also, when I meet someone new (in an everyday, non-business setting) I never know how or when to switch from 존댓말 into 반말. Since it doesn't actually mean anything to me other than being grammatically different, I'm more than happy to just talk with someone in 존댓말 forever, but I realise that it makes a difference on the other person's part. How do Koreans negotiate this? I realise that age is a factor here, and the fact that I'm a foreigner. Any tips?
3) How do you feel about women who have PhDs or are very successful in their careers and complain that they can't find a good man? On a related note, do you think Korea will ever achieve greater gender equality?
1. The first question is a very hard one, in fact I had too look up what was LGBT because I was ignorant of the term. As you may know that Koreans don't really have strong sub-cultures (not like the Japanese), maybe you can call it fringe cultures but Korean's accept the sterotypes, like if you are LGBT then if you are in fashion or a photographer or arts or hairdressing etc, then its fine, like Andre Kim, one of our most famous designers was openly quite homosexual, but he was extremely respected. But Korea has to be one of the harder places on the planet for LGBT. Although some would say, all our boy Kpop stars look like homosexuals half girls, but really young girls love em, so I guess it works - but besides that.
For general advice, I'm at a loss for words, if I think that if my sons were gay, I would do my best to hold on to our father son relationship and then just play it as it goes, I don't think I would be super supportive of them just joining a gay community group as I have some gay friends and they tend to be a bit over the top in terms of their own views of promiscuity etc. But it may be just my small sample of friends. But Korea isn't a good place to raise LGBT, maybe Paris or even Tokyo would be better, but I'd say, if you can, keep your relationship with your parents, they may not understand but they will still love you even if they push you away, keep the relationship with them.
2. Rule of thumb, always speak formal until they say, 'hey its fine, just speak casual' and that's it, depending on where you come from in Korea and your social class it will always be different, but just start formal until they say it's fine. For some it is 10 seconds, for others it be for many days until you're both drunk and then they finally say, 'hey lets speak casual'. For some foreigners who have lived a long time in Korea, they assume it is always about age, so since they are older the think they can dictate when it is time to speak informally or sometimes the just speak informally when they find out the person is younger. This is actually wrong, you need to judge what type of relationship it is, even if your'e older, if the relationship is not going to a personal one, there is no reason for anyone to speak casual level. It makes the foreigner look extremely ignorant and chances are the foreigner has many open minded Korean friends, so they won't correct this, but it's not right. But just follow the rule of thumb, in fact, waiting until they say so, shows your good manners really and anyone who says otherwise, I'm sorry to say, is very uneducated (but that doesn't make them less fun or loving ^^).
3. I love those ultra alpha women and they tend to love me too haha, but that is because I'm an ultra ultra alpha male and there in lines the issue. An alpha woman wants an alpha male, but few alpha men are that alpha. And alpha women tend to make a checklist so a date with them is more like a job interview. So in Korea, these women are destined to be maids, unless they marry a well educated foreign ex-pat, which a lot of them do. But Korean men love to be called oppa. Personally not me, but, I'm really not the norm, all of my ex-gf were extremely alpha cause I love a strong woman.
Well, gender equality is happening now, slowly, but those in their 20's are 10 times more equal in their attitudes than those in their late 30's, but even late 30's is about 5 time more than those in the 40's. So its definitely changed, but Korea is not about gender equality, but rather gender roles. Unless women fight for their right to be equally conscripted into the army, Korea will continue to be about gender roles rather than gender equality. Korean women want to be treated like women and we dont want our sisters and wives going to the army and shooting guns and being in the line of fire either. We want to protect our women and our women want to be pampered by us. But nowadays, the scope of the gender roles is being expanded where the men do household work, wash dishes, etc, but true equality is not really a goal in Korea because of our understanding of the gender roles.
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 04 2014 22:39 teamamerica wrote:
Hi MightyAtom! Always enjoyed your blogs.
edit: nm
Hope all your business is going well!
Thanks, business is about to relaunch, although it's been in relaunch mode for nearly 4 months now, but I think I'm nearly there to starting to kick some booty again and exert my influence on the market in a megalomaniac kind of way again. ^^
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How does someone go from being a pussy to being focused and getting work done? I've been putting off starting a big project for a long time and I can't seem to get started with it. What advice do you have for someone who needs to focus and get the passion back for the work?
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Korea (South)11568 Posts
Hey, I really enjoy all your responses. You truly are a wonderful man, and if given the opportunity, I'd love to join you for a drink, or a meal, or both.
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EPT
