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Ask me anything about being a Man, Korean Style:II

Blogs > MightyAtom
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MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-03 15:04:21
February 03 2014 15:03 GMT
#1
First Part Here: Closed now

Well, I had an extended trip to Zurich, I'm leaving in 2 days, I tried to open this thread, a few days ago, but I realized that since it is an old blog thread,it isn't showing up in the menu (and yet Val4r found it lol)

In any case, I always did want to open this thread again,
I did write a new intro for the thread in the OP, but just to repeat it again:
1. Please read through the old thread first.
2. I'm doing this sincerely, if you don't need a hyung, you had a great father figure, then good, so did I, but I'm doing this not because I need adoration or I have a fuck load of time, I'm doing it because I can and maybe it is a role I play in our community.
3. I'm not saying I have all the answers, but I have an answer, and it works if you're Korean,it may not completely work if you're not going to man up, but I'll give it to you straight and you can take it for what you will, but just because I say it straight, doesn't mean I'm trying to be mean, I'm not.

If you don't know me, I don't think you should ask for my advice without reading some of my blogs, but in a nutshell, I'm Korean, I was raised in Canada, went to school in Korea, worked married in Korea, I've worked with Japanese, HK, Macau, PRC, Taiwan, Philippines, Australia, New Zealand, Americans, French, Germans, Swiss, Brits, South African, Singapore; so I've been around more than others. I have 2 boys, a lovely wife, I love gaming, was involved in WCG Challenge and the first WCG, I do business, I'm not perfect, I have made many mistakes, and mistakes that I'm still working out and mistakes that I do owe something to, but I keep on trucking, I keep on going for what drives my ambition.

I'm of the mind, all men are men and life is both beautiful and at times brutal. You be true to yourself and play the situation as it comes, but part of that is that you try, you are responsibility and you be better. And being better is all about continuing the good fight, even as you fail, even as you have wasted years and months, but that at any time, you can stand the fuck up and just start. A man, does and then takes responsibility for their actions, good or bad.

So, you men got 48 hours to ask and I'll answer every question that is posted in the next 48 hours as I have an 8 hour stop over in Doha on Wednesday.

I may not open this thread for a few more years, but for what it is worth, I give you my sincerity and time.

MightyAtom

***
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
hellokitty[hk]
Profile Joined June 2009
United States1309 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-03 15:56:28
February 03 2014 15:19 GMT
#2
How do you not be a pussy in the morning when you have to wake up after just going to bed and practice 8+ hours of Starcraft and do 12+ hours of homework like Choi Seong Hun hyun?
On February 04 2014 00:03 MightyAtom wrote:at any time, you can stand the fuck up and just start.


People are imbeciles, lucky thing god made cats.
Boonbag
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
France3318 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-03 15:56:01
February 03 2014 15:32 GMT
#3
Why are men "men" and pussies "pussies" ?


MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 03 2014 15:56 GMT
#4
On February 04 2014 00:32 Boonbag wrote:
Why are men "men" and pussies "pussies" ?



Men take on responsibility and take on the consequences of those responsibilities;
but for most part, you grow into being a man, without the bullshit fronting or macho image;
just you do what you need to do, for your friends, family.
But you have the judgement to still be better, and that means also taking the time to grow and not to take on the responsibility that hinders your growth or has others simply depending on you because they don't take on what they can.
A man is also human and needs to grow to have the capacity to take on more responsibility for those that matter. I'm not trying to give advice on how to be a saint here.

A man can be a pussy once in a while, but to truly be in the state of being a pussy, is a when a man simple doesn't do anything, take action to be responsible for something, especially themselves.

But and me, we've know each a long time, you forgot to ask what is a c@nt ^^
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 03 2014 15:56 GMT
#5
On February 04 2014 00:19 hellokitty[hk] wrote:
How do you not be a pussy in the morning when you have to wake up after just going to bed and practice 8+ hours of Starcraft and do 12+ hours of homework like Choi Seong Hun hyun?
Show nested quote +
On February 04 2014 00:03 MightyAtom wrote:at any time, you can stand the fuck up and just start.



If you made the choice to do that life, then you're not a pussy, but you're asking that question because even the thought of it exhausts you, you're always gonna make the pussy move because it's not you. Challenge yourself, but recognize that some people are that dedicated and maybe you will find something you will be that dedicated to and question of being a pussy won't even come up.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51481 Posts
February 03 2014 16:22 GMT
#6
Random question Mr Atom, however one im intrigued about.

What are YOUR plans about retirement? Have you set yourself an age in your head where you want to just stop flying around making business deals and start to either have a relaxed job inside your hometown so you can see your family more? Or even stop working all together.
Also how do the "pension" schemes work in Korea? Do you have a money pot you pay into every month through tax deductions like what we call in England national insurance. Also we cannot touch ours until we are state pension age which at the moment is changing all the time. You pay national insurance for 40 years, after 40 years of paying it you don't have to pay it anymore and it adds as tax releif.
My current age for state pension;
You’ll reach State Pension age on 5 October 2058.
Your State Pension age is 68 years.

Yours input and opinion on Korean retirement would be nice to hear And of course your personal plans if you have them in place :D
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
February 03 2014 16:36 GMT
#7
Is the difference between being a mature, responsible adult and being a man that a man makes overly aggressive, self-indulgent declarations about his competence to protect his ego, and an adult just does what an adult needs to do?

o.O
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Yorbon
Profile Joined December 2011
Netherlands4272 Posts
February 03 2014 16:44 GMT
#8
I couldn't stop reading part 1 after i started and went through almost all questions. Just wanted to mention how awesome of a blog that was. Most answers seemed to be very well thought out. As a non-Korean, I enjoyed reading them as well as learning another perspective to look from. Thank you for it.

One question though: I saw the last blog was made in 2011. Have you ever looked back to earlier questions and thought you would answer completely different today?
Chaosu
Profile Joined October 2005
Poland404 Posts
February 03 2014 17:23 GMT
#9
Your posts about drinking as a test of your character at works made me think Korea is sick. It's very nice that being drunk is no excuse, but being forced to drink heavy to progress in your career is sick!
Please be patient.
pPingu
Profile Joined September 2011
Switzerland2892 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-03 17:35:08
February 03 2014 17:32 GMT
#10
Do you like Switzerland?

If you've been anywhere else than Zurich, what is your favorite city?

Of all the countries you've been to, which one(s) are your favorite(s) and why?

edit: oops I think it's out of topic
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
February 03 2014 19:16 GMT
#11
Does a real man crumple or fold?
NeuroGnar
Profile Joined February 2014
3 Posts
February 03 2014 20:28 GMT
#12
while you've said what you think makes a man, what do you think makes a woman?
MtlGuitarist97
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1539 Posts
February 03 2014 21:15 GMT
#13
How do you go through something for a long period of time, even if you hate it? I hate high school. I go to a private Catholic high school, even though I'm not Catholic, and I hate it a lot. I don't want to say I hate it every single day I go, but increasingly I just lack the motivation to do well and put up with it. The classes are challenging, boring, and some of them are just complete nonsense. It was my decision to go there, so I guess I should own up to that, but I still have a lot of difficulty not being resentful of going to school each day.
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 03 2014 22:14 GMT
#14
On February 04 2014 01:22 Pandemona wrote:
Random question Mr Atom, however one im intrigued about.

What are YOUR plans about retirement? Have you set yourself an age in your head where you want to just stop flying around making business deals and start to either have a relaxed job inside your hometown so you can see your family more? Or even stop working all together.
Also how do the "pension" schemes work in Korea? Do you have a money pot you pay into every month through tax deductions like what we call in England national insurance. Also we cannot touch ours until we are state pension age which at the moment is changing all the time. You pay national insurance for 40 years, after 40 years of paying it you don't have to pay it anymore and it adds as tax releif.
My current age for state pension;
You’ll reach State Pension age on 5 October 2058.
Your State Pension age is 68 years.

Yours input and opinion on Korean retirement would be nice to hear And of course your personal plans if you have them in place :D


I think as a Korean man, if you stop working you die (or all men), so I'm never not going to stop working, but what working means is that if I end up being devoted to raising my grandchildren full time and be a better grandfather than father I am to my kids, I will do that. But in terms of financial, depending on your work, it is tough to keep going at the same pace, but since much of my work is strategic, I think will continue to work as long as I can directly, then train others, then advise, then just sit on some boards until they kick me off because I'm too irrelevant to the times.

In terms of the Korean pension funds, seriously I'm not sure, I think when I was PwC they gave a yearly contribution, but when I left, I think they gave it all back to me, so if you're funded by your company to a point- but I think its pretty much totally up to you. The social net is not great in Korea whatsoever, if you have no relatives to help you out once in a while, you're pretty fucked.

Basically in Korea, you need to look to acquiring two homes fully paid for, one you can live in for the rest of your life with your wife or sell if need be to provide for your retirement and you need one to either give to your kid when they get married, or sell to split up the money for the deposit for when your kids get married. The big thing in Korea is always property, but it's been very tough in the last 5 years in Korea save the Gangnam area, the rest of Korea has been pretty screwed up by certain gov't policies set in place about 7 years ago.

My personal plan is to set up a trust in an offshore location, declare all my money by 45 (in like 6 years) and move everything to Switzerland and just pay a minor tax on all my declared cash. But this is all dependent upon me hitting it at a significant size bigger than I'm at, so I'll know in 2 years if this pans out. Otherwise, I will sort out a job with a public firm and then start putting as much as I can into compound interest accounts on a monthly basis and try to invest in some international product trade with the EU and an Asia product and hopefully get the timing right. But I'm not of the mentality to depend upon the gov't for a pension personally simply because I live all over the place with my family and I'm self employed. I'd say I'm not the norm by a long shot, but since business is my field of expertise it will always be easier to make more money than to figure out how to save more money, unless I really fuck up and I haven't sorted this all out by 45 in which case things like the gov't pension will mean a lot more to me than it has now.

Sorry if that wasn't insightful, but I'm ready and want to work until I can't any longer and I'm lucky to be in a position that if I score a few good projects I can make enough money in a short period of time. But my life is a brutal stress ball nearly everyday, so I mean there are always pluses and minuses, but I'm living my life without regrets and doing what I love, so my retirement is formed from that.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 03 2014 22:42 GMT
#15
On February 04 2014 01:36 Chef wrote:
Is the difference between being a mature, responsible adult and being a man that a man makes overly aggressive, self-indulgent declarations about his competence to protect his ego, and an adult just does what an adult needs to do?

o.O


I think the key word you used is mature. I'm not saying a man needs to be this alpha dog all the time or needs to look towards confrontation, but again, with responsibility comes all these things. It is a learning process. A lot of times when we're well into our mid-20's we are simply acting out what role we think we should be acting out. A man is like this, a CEO is like this, a leader is like this, a boyfriend is like this; and we are more playing out a role than really realizing what is the situation.

I had a business dinner yesterday, at the table there was this brilliant fund manager, but during the course of the evening, we talked 3 times and all 3 times he said things that we a bit offensive, and if I had responded to him him, the only response would have been an insult back; so I didn't respond back when he was offensive, but I really didn't care or think about him, I realized that his social skills were obviously really bad to be rude to a client and that I could recognize that it wasn't intentional.

Now if was intentional I probably would have said out right, what is your problem? But I didn't, not because I didn't want to cause trouble, or that I was being a pussy, but that I knew that he was simply short on social skills, but his intention wasn't there to be rude, but rather to try to get some attention for himself.

But if was 15 years younger, I may have misconstrued the situation and thought he was a real asshole and basically asked him to come outside for a cigarette and then just talked with him - after all- it was a nice restaurant and I'm not stupid to make a scene. But maybe I wouldn't have realized his intentions were just neutral and taken it personally rather than not being bothered by it at all.

Anyone who needs to say they are the leader, or the CEO, or the boss, obviously isn't. Once you utter those words or make that statement, we know that they are the fools, but when you're in the 20's, this is the norm, everyone's a fool at least a few times. By the 30's a lot less, but still some assholes are still there, but by the 40's, you just look like a loser to anyone who really is worth something. But at the end of it all, do we care? If this little piece of shit isn't harming anyone, and everyone thinks and sees he is an egotistical dick head, then he will get his due, he will be a lonely man, always blind to why know one really likes him and always wants to play politics.
When you're young, you want to correct dickheads like this;
when you're older, you don't give a care about these kinds of losers;
and if they are your boss or someone who has position over you, you accept it as a game, you play your part and get what you need from them, but you never correct them because you don't care enough about them to do so.

At the end of the day, an adult does what they need to do because they really understand the situation and the people's intentions and what they need to have people do. A responsible man, can apologize to make things better and can fail and admit those failings, to make things better, to move things. An immature man, simply can't do that because they aren't interested in making things better but rather justifying their insecurity by what you mentioned; their responsibility is to justify their position, to create some type of authority they use to control rather than progress and lead.

But at the end of the day, when you yourself is that man who is self-assured in his skills and aware of his strengths and weakenesses, your presence, side-by-side to the egotisical man, makes him look like a fool who blames, puts down or complains constantly. Now how you deal with such pieces of shits, who do bully or try to harm, well again, that is by the situation and sometimes it involves playing the game or simply not playing any game and just confronting with the brutal truth, providing they aren't your boss, then you just gotta play the game - real life isn't about proving your the man, rather it is about being able to do what you need to do make things right, whether it taking on the humble position or sacrificing for it.

To just sum up what is a man that is really not just fronting as a man:
-accepts the responsibility both good and bad
-uses their position to train and build relationships not to lord over them
-able to continue to learn from both failures and achievements, but keeps on being the better man
-recognizing why people do the things they do, not necessarily compassion, but people's intentions and acting appropriately from there.

In Korea we have a problem with this;
*in general* if you are from a low socio-economic background then you tend to beat your wife, if you from a high-socio-economic background there is a good chance your wife hits you once in a while, but for your entire life, you will never hit a woman once.
The thing is in Korea, men automatically have a position over women, but for what point. For the lower socio-economic range, they use this position as a position of power to abuse. In the higher end spectrum, they understand it is a position to be responsible for their woman and family and it is a position to make the good decision. Of course not all Koreans are like this by their economic level, but I'd say, a man protects with position, but a pussy abuses when they have position.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 03 2014 22:54 GMT
#16
On February 04 2014 01:44 Yorbon wrote:
I couldn't stop reading part 1 after i started and went through almost all questions. Just wanted to mention how awesome of a blog that was. Most answers seemed to be very well thought out. As a non-Korean, I enjoyed reading them as well as learning another perspective to look from. Thank you for it.

One question though: I saw the last blog was made in 2011. Have you ever looked back to earlier questions and thought you would answer completely different today?


I did read through the previous blog before I started this, and surprisingly no, I wouldn't answer it differently probably because I am in my late 30's now, so I've pretty much the guy I've been for the last 5 years or so, maybe I would have answered it differently had I wrote it even 7 years ago.

There is a point where you become the father, the bread winner and it's not about your parent's traditions, but now they are your traditions, I don't justify myself or have insecurities about how I live or what I believe or who I think is wrong or right. I don't need to win any arguments so I can confirm I'm smarter than someone or know more.

Now that cuts both ways, maybe I'm stuck in some wrong thinking now that can't be changed or maybe I don't care about those who are not close to me and have lost some level of compassion or I can think I've lived my life and I only open my mouth when its for people I care about and when I know, insofar as I can know, what I'm talking about. And that comes down to my own views on how hard I have pushed myself to live up to and to fail and to continue to grow in the expectations I've set for myself that were challenging and that made me year on year the better man.

I mean there is a point though, where I should really be clear on my own identity and where I stand on a lot of issues because I have wrestled and have the experience to really now be able to articulate both my feelings and thoughts.

You a lot of guys say, 'i dont give a shit what anyone thinks' but really it's just bravo. And I'll say the same thing, 'I don't give a shit what anyone thinks', but the difference is that is not bravo, rather while I don't give a shit, I am listening, and I am honestly making a judgement does this really matter to me, is it something I can learn from; and reason I can do that is because I am extremely self-assured in my identity of what I know and don't' know and what I do consider right and wrong. And nothing is black and white, but also nothing is just an open rainbow, but rather the decisions I do make come from years of reflection and experience.

but I did read it them through to see if I would change any answers, just in case, instead of assuming that I wouldn't; after all if there were some responses I'd change, I think it would have been a great moment to reflect on why it was like that, but nah, I am what I am. ^^
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51481 Posts
February 03 2014 22:57 GMT
#17
On February 04 2014 07:14 MightyAtom wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 04 2014 01:22 Pandemona wrote:
Random question Mr Atom, however one im intrigued about.

What are YOUR plans about retirement? Have you set yourself an age in your head where you want to just stop flying around making business deals and start to either have a relaxed job inside your hometown so you can see your family more? Or even stop working all together.
Also how do the "pension" schemes work in Korea? Do you have a money pot you pay into every month through tax deductions like what we call in England national insurance. Also we cannot touch ours until we are state pension age which at the moment is changing all the time. You pay national insurance for 40 years, after 40 years of paying it you don't have to pay it anymore and it adds as tax releif.
My current age for state pension;
You’ll reach State Pension age on 5 October 2058.
Your State Pension age is 68 years.

Yours input and opinion on Korean retirement would be nice to hear And of course your personal plans if you have them in place :D

+ Show Spoiler +

I think as a Korean man, if you stop working you die (or all men), so I'm never not going to stop working, but what working means is that if I end up being devoted to raising my grandchildren full time and be a better grandfather than father I am to my kids, I will do that. But in terms of financial, depending on your work, it is tough to keep going at the same pace, but since much of my work is strategic, I think will continue to work as long as I can directly, then train others, then advise, then just sit on some boards until they kick me off because I'm too irrelevant to the times.

In terms of the Korean pension funds, seriously I'm not sure, I think when I was PwC they gave a yearly contribution, but when I left, I think they gave it all back to me, so if you're funded by your company to a point- but I think its pretty much totally up to you. The social net is not great in Korea whatsoever, if you have no relatives to help you out once in a while, you're pretty fucked.

Basically in Korea, you need to look to acquiring two homes fully paid for, one you can live in for the rest of your life with your wife or sell if need be to provide for your retirement and you need one to either give to your kid when they get married, or sell to split up the money for the deposit for when your kids get married. The big thing in Korea is always property, but it's been very tough in the last 5 years in Korea save the Gangnam area, the rest of Korea has been pretty screwed up by certain gov't policies set in place about 7 years ago.

My personal plan is to set up a trust in an offshore location, declare all my money by 45 (in like 6 years) and move everything to Switzerland and just pay a minor tax on all my declared cash. But this is all dependent upon me hitting it at a significant size bigger than I'm at, so I'll know in 2 years if this pans out. Otherwise, I will sort out a job with a public firm and then start putting as much as I can into compound interest accounts on a monthly basis and try to invest in some international product trade with the EU and an Asia product and hopefully get the timing right. But I'm not of the mentality to depend upon the gov't for a pension personally simply because I live all over the place with my family and I'm self employed. I'd say I'm not the norm by a long shot, but since business is my field of expertise it will always be easier to make more money than to figure out how to save more money, unless I really fuck up and I haven't sorted this all out by 45 in which case things like the gov't pension will mean a lot more to me than it has now.

Sorry if that wasn't insightful, but I'm ready and want to work until I can't any longer and I'm lucky to be in a position that if I score a few good projects I can make enough money in a short period of time. But my life is a brutal stress ball nearly everyday, so I mean there are always pluses and minuses, but I'm living my life without regrets and doing what I love, so my retirement is formed from that.


Nice answer thanks Mighty Atom. It pretty much seems its a work based pension scheme, your company paid into a pot from your earnings which they matched, but instead of returning it to you as soon as you leave, in England they freeze that pot until your retirement age (68 for me for example) then you get it. Which is pretty annoying but also kind of good.

Thanks for an insight on your aims for retirement seems pretty good idea and as you say with a business head on your shoulders probably makes it easier for you to spot the right investments ^_^

here's to our retirements though good health and good luck!
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 03 2014 23:00 GMT
#18
On February 04 2014 02:23 Chaosu wrote:
Your posts about drinking as a test of your character at works made me think Korea is sick. It's very nice that being drunk is no excuse, but being forced to drink heavy to progress in your career is sick!


It's cultural, if you want to progress in a Korean company you need this skill also to close deals at a higher level; but if you also think some foreigner is going to come to Korea and just close a major deal without drinking a lot, well that is wishful thinking as well. Again, we can judge good or bad, but depending on the situation, we do act or react differently. Now you could say your morals or character wouldn't allow you to do that or this and that is perfectly fine, but don't expect to do business in Korea in a big way etc.

In terms of progress, things are changing in some small ways, and but nothing cultural is so simple to fix or the reasoning behind it so simple to say, Koreans do this because of this reason. While I could go move into it about the real culture and business culture of drinking, I will agree, its not good, its terrible for your body, and I hope one day it changes, but if it doesn't and I still need to close a major deal in Korea, I'll down that bottle and close that deal.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 03 2014 23:09 GMT
#19
On February 04 2014 02:32 pPingu wrote:
Do you like Switzerland?

If you've been anywhere else than Zurich, what is your favorite city?

Of all the countries you've been to, which one(s) are your favorite(s) and why?

edit: oops I think it's out of topic


I absolutely love Switzerland! I've only been to Zurich and Zug (both for business) and I love the clean air here, the families all walking in the streets and the endless amount of water fountains that have water from the lake. I hope to travel around Switzerland the next time I'm here in about a month, but I've been here only 3 times in the last 2 months, so I'm still very much a noobie when it comes to swiss things.

My favorite is, other than Korea, is Switzerland, but other than Switzerland, Japan, but since there is the massive radiation there, I'd have to say New Zealand, but it is so freaking far away but it's just a cool country with lots of lamb and rugby on nearly every day. But really, my heart is always with Korea, everything for me is just perfect there, the saunas/bath houses, the food, the hiking trails, the lovely women to look at and of course the drinking with my friends, relatives and even wife! I think, you're always going to love the place where you are the most comfortable at. No matter how long I've been away from Korea, I always miss it as soon as I board the plane. But it is crappy place to raise kids and that is why I'm planning to move to Switzerland as soon as I can, but learning the Swiss German is freaking tough for an English/French/Korean speaker like me. But I learned 3 phrases already:
ver piss die
vik die
dux sage sexi oosh

meaning (sorry I dont' know the actual spellings)
go piss off
fuck off
you look sexy

^^
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
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Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
February 03 2014 23:09 GMT
#20
all men are men, huh...
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