EPTIt wont make her love you. It wont make you go back to the friend-state (which I guess is a good thing). But it will make her understand how you feel, and she'll likely agree its good you dont talk to each other for a while. Best case scenario is that you agree to not talk for enough time for you to get over your obsession, and then you can get back to being best friends again some time in the future. At worst you dont get over it and you never talk with her again, but at least she'll disappear out of your life in sort of agreement with her rather than because of your emotianal actions of blocking out every way of communication without saying anything or giving a reason.
[Girl Blog] Where do I begin... - Page 4
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Kreb
4834 Posts
It wont make her love you. It wont make you go back to the friend-state (which I guess is a good thing). But it will make her understand how you feel, and she'll likely agree its good you dont talk to each other for a while. Best case scenario is that you agree to not talk for enough time for you to get over your obsession, and then you can get back to being best friends again some time in the future. At worst you dont get over it and you never talk with her again, but at least she'll disappear out of your life in sort of agreement with her rather than because of your emotianal actions of blocking out every way of communication without saying anything or giving a reason. | ||
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opsayo
591 Posts
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Kreb
4834 Posts
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Bigtony
United States1606 Posts
On July 06 2012 17:59 opsayo wrote: yeah thats terrible advice bro Yeah talking about your feelings is for pussies, man. Uh but seriously, it's a bit risky and it really puts yourself out there, but if you wanna get over it it's not a bad idea. The reality is that she didn't do anything wrong at all. | ||
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Killerkrack
664 Posts
On July 06 2012 17:59 Kreb wrote: Tell her exactly what you wrote here. Really, do. Well, maybe remove the memes first. :p It wont make her love you. It wont make you go back to the friend-state (which I guess is a good thing). But it will make her understand how you feel, and she'll likely agree its good you dont talk to each other for a while. Best case scenario is that you agree to not talk for enough time for you to get over your obsession, and then you can get back to being best friends again some time in the future. At worst you dont get over it and you never talk with her again, but at least she'll disappear out of your life in sort of agreement with her rather than because of your emotianal actions of blocking out every way of communication without saying anything or giving a reason. I'm with you, just put it all out there and link the blog to her. The worst that happens is she says she doesn't feel the same way, knowing is better than constantly thinking about her wondering if maybe she felt the same way. | ||
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Kreb
4834 Posts
For the sake of this argument im assuming she doesnt, and wont, love him. Meaning any kind of relationship is out of the question. As such, we have the situation: The OP has a problem (obsession of a girl he cant get) The solution to said problem is to get rid of the obsession. To do so, a good idea might be to spent some time not talking to each other. If anyone has any other way of getting rid of the obsession while still keeping contact, im all ears. But thats what i'll roll with for now. So to solve the obsession the OP blocked all communication. Now, the goal (to spent time apart) of those actions are good. The road to the goal is not. By not communicating why hes doing said action, the girl will be left with only questions. Why did he block me? Doesnt he like me anymore? Have I done something wrong? This is supported by her PMs: + Show Spoiler + "What the hell? Did you unfriend me? What's going on? Please don't be mad..." Then she also tries to play the victim a bit, which is a natural thing to do. + Show Spoiler + "I thought you cared for me..." But that only makes it worse: That last one actually made me go berserk. She successfully managed to play the victim and as such hurt the OP even more. Thats bad. The truth is that the OP is the one with a problem, not the girl. The OP is the one who needs support to get out of this sutiation. The OP is the one whos being hurt by these event. As such, if she really considers the OP her best friend, she should do what she can to support him. Now, by not telling her, she wont know the situation and as such she wont know how to handle it. By telling her how you feel and why you want to spend time apart, she should understand. If she really likes you (as a friend), she should set aside her own friendship for you in favour of your emotional well-being. That is the right thing to do as a friend. And as such, she should agree to spend time apart. If she doesnt agree to that, then its because she isnt able to set aside her friendship for the sake of the OP, or because she doesnt understand the situation. Now, linking to the blog might or might not be the best idea to go through with it. But taking the essence of the post (removing memes, felicity, etc), and then send it to her in some way could work. People often feel its easier to express themselves in text rather than talking to the other person. Maybe just remove the SC2 related stuff, send it to her with the message saying "i posted this on an internet forum to ask for advice"? That way it wont feel directed to her and she'll hopefully be able to look at it without her getting disctracted by her own emotions. Then in the end tell her that because of this, you think spending time apart is the best thing for you. Either way, telling her should be a good thing, whichever way of sending the message over to her the OP chooses. What happens in the future no one can tell. As I said, best case is the OP gets over this. Maybe in some time he can look at this situation in a more unemotinal way. Maybe he can get bac kto the girl, explain again why he did what he did, apologize for what happend, thank her for her understanding, etc. And best case they become friends again. A lot of worse things might of course happen, and if the breakup needs to be permanent for the sake of OPs emotial well-being, then so be it. | ||
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Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
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FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
On July 06 2012 18:18 Bigtony wrote: Yeah talking about your feelings is for pussies, man. Uh but seriously, it's a bit risky and it really puts yourself out there, but if you wanna get over it it's not a bad idea. The reality is that she didn't do anything wrong at all. She didn't do anything wrong? After I finished medschool and moved to another city to begin my practice. She constantly called me and messaged me on AIM or Skype to go to Santiago and see her. Every time I went there, she hid. She always "had another compromise" or "had something of last-minute to do"... Right! Nothing wrong with what she did there! | ||
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THE_DOMINATOR
United States309 Posts
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GnarlyArbitrage
575 Posts
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Abductedonut
United States324 Posts
Here's some background info. I fell in "love" with a girl literally EXACTLY the same way as you in the 10th grade. Started out telling each other everything, then I broke out and said I "loved" her (I put it in quotes because you sound like you're too young to know what love is, eg watch first minute) + Show Spoiler + In any case, insta friend zone, of course, so I said "screw it, what's the worst that could happen?" Dumbest decision of my life. I spent five tiring years being "friends" with her. I was mayor of the friend zone, man. See the biggest problem with anybody who's in "love" like you is that you've got the illusion that she's different. That's she's special, and great, and the best thing in the world. In fact, when you think of other women you're disguisted because how could anybody be as good as her? You can't be much better than PERFECT, right? It's a twisted chain. You can't have her but you also can't have anyone else, so what do you do? You've alone AND lonely. + Show Spoiler + The feelings never go away. She assumes they're gone and resumes everything normally like it never happend. The smarter girls ( girls who actually comprehend how you feel and fuck with your emotions just because) will periodically set and break boundraies. For example, she'll neglect to tell you something, then tell you she neglected to tell you because she didn't want to bring up how you felt. Two days later though, she'll say the sweetest things to/about you and talk to you until two in the morning and give you the impression that she likes you. Poor you. Because as times goes on your convince yourself that it's changed. Becuase she's the sweetest and amazing, right? But it hasn't. And it never will. The cycle goes on like this. That's just the regular cycle that happens every so often, though. The real shit hits the fan when she starts dating. When she tells you about a guy shes dating and you get to hear the gruesome details about how he's so perfect and amazing and how her "heart skips beats every time she sees him" and blah blah blah. And if you ever see them together, you'll notice how she can't keep her hands off of him and how she stares at him. I could succinctly say that it makes you feel like an absolutely incompetent and worthless piece of shit. The worst part? He's a moron. The girl I liked started dating a guy who was routely taking drugs, smoking, and I'm not even sure what he was going to do to make money. Your girl will do exactly the same thing. And all you're left to wonder is what is wrong with you, why she can't see that you'll be better for her, and how many times a day she's letting him stick his tongue down her throat. The above sounds cynnical as hell, but to be frank, I'm barely scratching the surface how it truly feels. It's is the most excruciating compilation of feelings I've ever felt. It's self-inflicated torture. And to wish it on somebody is about as bad as wishing them dead. Anyway, I eventually had enough of her bullshit and snapped one day. I told her that her boyfriend is an idiot, and that she's blind for not seeing how great I am. I guess this pissed her off and she suggested we stop being friends. I didn't hesitate to take that offer. As time went on, I actually grew to hate her. Any time she popped up into my head the only thing I could remember was how horrible she made me feel about myself. Once you realize this it stops becoming about her. Because regardless of how great she is, you can't be around someone who makes you feel like trash. And that's how it ends. Then you meet another girl who actually likes you, realize how easy everything is with her, and you rejoice happily ever after. So unless you want to eventually hate her, I don't advise you try to be friends with her. Find another girl. And if you can't, I suggest you actually obsess over a celebrity. It actually helps. Convinces you that there IS another girl out there for you. Mine was Jennifer Love Hewitt at the time. + Show Spoiler + Best of luck finding another girl  P.S. Don't EVER convince yourself that a girl is "innocent" and "doesn't realize" what she's doing to you. Some, and dare I say most, know exactly how that whole friend zone thing makes a guy feel and they'll exploit it for their benefit. | ||
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Shield
Bulgaria4824 Posts
On July 06 2012 18:34 Arcanefrost wrote: I've always wondered how a girl would react if she read the tl blog about her, since you have nothing left to lose you should give it a shot and tell us whether it works :p Results may vary from "you're desperate" to "omg, awesome". I guess only nerdy girls will go with the latter. :p Edit: Teamliquid is really turning into GirlLiquid, lol. Oops, that brings some nasty thoughts. :D | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14054 Posts
She successfully managed to play the victim and as such hurt the OP even more. Thats bad. The truth is that the OP is the one with a problem, not the girl. The OP is the one who needs support to get out of this sutiation. The OP is the one whos being hurt by these event. As such, if she really considers the OP her best friend, she should do what she can to support him. Now, by not telling her, she wont know the situation and as such she wont know how to handle it. By telling her how you feel and why you want to spend time apart, she should understand. If she really likes you (as a friend), she should set aside her own friendship for you in favour of your emotional well-being. That is the right thing to do as a friend. And as such, she should agree to spend time apart. If she doesnt agree to that, then its because she isnt able to set aside her friendship for the sake of the OP, or because she doesnt understand the situation. Are you serious? She is in no way responsible for his feelings. In fact she IS the victim in such a case. Every single person on this planet is responsible for their own thoughts and feelings. It is not her job to be nice to him because he - without her trying to make him fall in love - did so anyway. Don't blame a girl for your inability to convey what you really want from her. | ||
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Kreb
4834 Posts
On July 06 2012 19:00 r.Evo wrote: Are you serious? She is in no way responsible for his feelings. In fact she IS the victim in such a case. Every single person on this planet is responsible for their own thoughts and feelings. It is not her job to be nice to him because he - without her trying to make him fall in love - did so anyway. Don't blame a girl for your inability to convey what you really want from her. Im not sure I follow... Did I say she was responsible? What is she the victim of? To me she is neither victim nor culprit, shes just a part of the story. she did nothing wrong to cause all this. only thing wrong she did was playing the "dont you care for me?" card (which is a natural thing to do, especially considering she didnt know what caused all the blocking to happen) which made OPs emotional state worse. But what exactly is she the victim of? Did I blame the girl for anything? Please explain. And to your question: Yes im serious. | ||
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nihoh
Australia978 Posts
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Aerisky
United States12128 Posts
HawaiianPig said it perfectly. It's not that you're never supposed to say that--of COURSE there is a time an place for it, no need to be so misogynistic. Just so many guys say it at a very bad moment and it comes across poorly. Anyway, best of luck. My personal opinion is that you should try to find another girl. I understand you completely when you say that you've loved her for so long. It just sucks, but if she doesn't reciprocate, then moving on is the right thing to do even though it's so damn painful. You will eventually find the love of your life. Hope things go well for you man. | ||
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Dagobert
Netherlands1858 Posts
On July 06 2012 09:37 UmbraaeternuS wrote: Day[9] just provided the TL;DR version of this blog. Fucking Felicity, man. :/ Actually, the TLDR is "Not fucking Felicity, (that) man." | ||
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FFGenerations
7088 Posts
she will only start to like you when your ego becomes stronger than hers; then she will start to respect and appreciate you and see you as a potential mate. this requires you to spend years becoming independent by pursuing achievements you set for yourself | ||
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Trox
Sweden20 Posts
Shortly after we started doing things together (hanging out with mutual friends), we got in bed. The sex was fucking amazing. I've never met a girl like this before in that regard either. So much passion between us. We met some more times. After a few weeks, I learned she was going away to work over the summer. This SUCKED. I was the last friend she visited before going away. I decided not to tell her I was becoming more and more infatuated. After she left, we continued having daily contact. One night, I was hinting of going to visit her. This started a big discussion. She said she was trying to get over us. A while into the conversation, I thought I started seeing hints of her being interested in me on a higher level as well. She was not. I confessed that I wanted her more and that it fitted logically and emotionally for me. Since then, we've been trying to find out where we are. She insists of wanting to have me as a friend and that I mean a lot to her. But I don't know. She visited me a day of the weekend she was home from work. I was the only one she met outside of family that weekend. It was very strange. She is still the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing before I fall asleep. I am slowly cutting down on my communication with her. She still tries to message me but I don't answer very fast or enthusiastic etc. I feel a little bit better now when we don't have as much contact anymore. I feel you bro. | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
On July 06 2012 19:48 Trox wrote: I hear you man. I am in a very related situation. I was not very interested from the beginning but then we became like really close and started supporting eachother. I got more intrigued by her. I loved her ways of thinking and we had very similar interests. I dont think I've ever met a girl like this. Shortly after we started doing things together (hanging out with mutual friends), we got in bed. The sex was fucking amazing. I've never met a girl like this before in that regard either. So much passion between us. We met some more times. After a few weeks, I learned she was going away to work over the summer. This SUCKED. I was the last friend she visited before going away. I decided not to tell her I was becoming more and more infatuated. After she left, we continued having daily contact. One night, I was hinting of going to visit her. This started a big discussion. She said she was trying to get over us. A while into the conversation, I thought I started seeing hints of her being interested in me on a higher level as well. She was not. I confessed that I wanted her more and that it fitted logically and emotionally for me. Since then, we've been trying to find out where we are. She insists of wanting to have me as a friend and that I mean a lot to her. But I don't know. She visited me a day of the weekend she was home from work. I was the only one she met outside of family that weekend. It was very strange. She is still the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing before I fall asleep. I am slowly cutting down on my communication with her. She still tries to message me but I don't answer very fast or enthusiastic etc. I feel a little bit better now when we don't have as much contact anymore. I feel you bro. Blawg! | ||
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