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[Girl Blog] Where do I begin...

Blogs > UmbraaeternuS
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UmbraaeternuS
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Chile476 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-07 01:24:37
July 05 2012 22:54 GMT
#1
So I had this friend.
Yes, HAD.
Long story, so sit down and read if you'd be so kind.

Once upon a time, when I was known as just "Winters" on this big ocean called Teh Internetz, like 7 years ago, I played Call Of Duty. A friend of mine, who also played, invited me over to his clan.
That's when I met her.
We'll call her... Felicity.

[image loading]
What the fuck, I know the name is overused -Thank you, Sean- but I'll roll with that

Felicity was quite younger than me at the time. She was very friendly, she liked to dick around and tell jokes and chat all day and talk to me in TeamSpeak back in the day. So we suddenly became really, really good friends who told eachother EVERYTHING. And I seriously mean everything, even some things I wasn't that interesed in knowing -or that even grossed me out-; she told me when she had a fight with her mom or a friend, when she got her first kiss (she was kind of a late bloomer) and when she had menstrual cramps, the first time she masturbated, she told me about her first boyfriend, the first time she had an orgasm, the first time she fought with her boyfriend because she didn't want to have sex before marriage, she told me she was going to break up with him before she even told him... Needless to say, I also told her everything. There were absolutely no secrets between us. You get the picture.
And then it happened.
I fell for her.
I don't know why, one day when we were chatting on Skype, I saw her face and thought "holy shit, this girl is the most beautiful person I've ever met. She's funny, she's friendly, she's honest, open-minded, she likes the same stuff I like..." and still I fought the urge to tell her because somehow, deep inside of me, I knew she wasn't interested in me. Because women NEVER trust men with all their secrets. EVER. Before the "friendzone" concept even became a wide-spread meme and idea, I knew I was in there.
Time passed, and she was still there, lingering in my heart. We were still talking, telling eachother the stupidest shit, passing time, having fun, being friends...
Then I had a really bad moment, in the middle of medschool, when I nearly dropped out of college.... I was having a depressive episode because I wasn't getting great grades and I begun dropping my 4.0 GPA because I was thinking of her all the Goddamn fucking time and I begun giving zero fucks about my carreer. She was getting on my head. One night, after I don't know how many glasses of scotch I don't know what demon possesed me, but I picked up the phone, called her as I used to do and told her:

-Hi. Felicity? I need to talk to you. Now. I've been dying to tell you this for over two years. I fucking love you. Not like 'OMG YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND EVER' but 'OMG I LOVE YOU, like, LOVE you...


Fuck, what the hell am I doing? Dafuq did I just say?


... Wait, what?...
-I love you, girl.


Ok, now you've fucking done it, great. Just great.


Oh God, this is so sudden... I don't know what to say... I need to think this through.
(she hangs up).


2 hours later she texts me saying "You're the best friend I've ever had. Thank you for being so kind to me."
Needless to say, that SandyMac bottle went down like a motherfucker.
And I got even more depressed.

Good job, Einstein.

I stopped talking to her for like 2 months. Then she talked to me and told me she didn't want me to freak out because of all this. She wanted to be my friend and be beside me no matter what, -as a friend-...

Oh, what the fuck, what gives...

So we sticked around. As friends.
After I finished medschool and moved to another city to begin my practice. She constantly called me and messaged me on AIM or Skype to go to Santiago and see her. Every time I went there, she hid. She always "had another compromise" or "had something of last-minute to do"...

And I still loved her. And this annoying feeling grew inside of me. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I couldn't be with her either. What the fuck was I doing? Was I an obsessive son of a bitch who stopped thinking about himself because of someone else?
Fuck that!

And thus, on august 18th, 2011, I deleted her cell number, unfriended her on Facebook, closed my twitter, deleted her Skype contact, and everything. She almost inmediatly posted to my Facebook wall (which I had open to the public, like a little n00b) the following message:
"Hey, don't be a girl, read your PMs".

And then, I wrote this:
"Hello. If you didn't already get it, I don't ever want to speak with you again. Don't contact me on any way, for whatever reason you may have. Have good luck in your life. Goodbye".

It's been 10 months and a little more...

AND I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT HER.

What did I do wrong?
Did I fuck up giving her the finger and doing what I did?
Should I seek her again?
How the fuck do I provide closure to this? I mean, I can't even play a fucking ZvZ without thinking "I should get Ultras. Felicity liked ultras."

There she is again, she's not even letting you do your usual build or macro in peace, bro.

I feel lost and brutally fucked up by this girl. I'm known for finding stupidly simple solutions for everything. I help a lot of people out because of my job.
But I can't fucking help myself.

What the fuck do I do?...


What would you do in my shoes, TL?...
Thank you for reading.

TL;DR:

On July 06 2012 09:00 Day[9] wrote:
Fucking Felicity man =/.



User was warned for this post

*EDIT: Deleted the meme images because I got le manner warning for 2 many memes.

***
therealwinters - Skype / @DrUmbra - Twitter // "There is nothing more cool than being proud of the things that you love" - Sean "Day[9]" Plott <3
Cokefreak
Profile Joined June 2011
Finland8095 Posts
July 05 2012 22:56 GMT
#2
5 stars for the girl blog, way too many memes though T_T
Elegance
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
Canada917 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-05 23:00:49
July 05 2012 22:59 GMT
#3
move on man. I feel like it's just because this is the first time you got close to a girl by the sounds of it. Sometimes staying as friends is the best thing man, relationships never go forever but friendships last.

Edit: and the whole thinking about her all the time thing, just means you are wayy too attached. Man up and cut the string (ie. meet some other girls)
Power of Ze
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22212 Posts
July 05 2012 23:04 GMT
#4
After I finished medschool and moved to another city to begin my practice. She constantly called me and messaged me on AIM or Skype to go to Santiago and see her. Every time I went there, she hid. She always "had another compromise" or "had something of last-minute to do"...

Well that's not nice...
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
UmbraaeternuS
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Chile476 Posts
July 05 2012 23:04 GMT
#5
Not really. 7 months ago I dumped my 4th girlfriend because she went all psycho on me, getting in my e-mail and in my cellphone to check for the calls I'd done for the day.
Felicity was like the "Wingman" of the Bro-code, but instead of the mandatory huge pair of balls, she had a vagina. That's how close we were. I tried practicing the "a new nail takes an old nail out of the wood" by knowing some other girls, 4 of which, in a space of over 6 years became my GFs, but I always had HER in my head.
Not cool, bro. Not cool.
therealwinters - Skype / @DrUmbra - Twitter // "There is nothing more cool than being proud of the things that you love" - Sean "Day[9]" Plott <3
UmbraaeternuS
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Chile476 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-05 23:05:27
July 05 2012 23:05 GMT
#6
On July 06 2012 08:04 ahswtini wrote:
Show nested quote +
After I finished medschool and moved to another city to begin my practice. She constantly called me and messaged me on AIM or Skype to go to Santiago and see her. Every time I went there, she hid. She always "had another compromise" or "had something of last-minute to do"...

Well that's not nice...

I suppose she was scared of seeing me again after I confessed. Can't blame her. I was drunk and stupid when I did, LOL.
therealwinters - Skype / @DrUmbra - Twitter // "There is nothing more cool than being proud of the things that you love" - Sean "Day[9]" Plott <3
juked
Profile Joined May 2010
United States691 Posts
July 05 2012 23:06 GMT
#7
There are lots of fish in the sea. Sounds like a good friend you had but its time to move on.
EngrishTeacher
Profile Blog Joined March 2012
Canada1109 Posts
July 05 2012 23:18 GMT
#8
Omg, I swear to solemnly on my life that I'm going through the exact same thing.

I fucking swear some women are affiliates with the devil; I'm great friends with this girl at work and we tell each other most things, I got friendzoned because I only started to fall for her, no, fucking love her AFTER we became friends.

Thing is though, I can't stop thinking about her, and I'm only about 70% sure that I've been hopelessly friendzoned. I say she is in association with Lucifer precisely because everyone at the office jokes about us being a fantanstic match, and she fucking tells me things like I really like you, I love you, I would give you a 8/10 in terms of looks (she only gives her fav. movie star a 9...), I think we'd be great together.

Then fuck, when I hint at how we should be together in very subtle ways, she's able to perceive them and tell me thing like, in her exact words, "you're not my cup of tea", or, "we're really compatible together... As friends."

Fuck man. I can empathize with you completely, difference being I haven't really told her about my feelings hiding them pretty well from her.

I'm just afraid I'm going to be fucking retarded and lose control one day, calling her up and fucking up as hard as you did.

Fuck our lives.
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22212 Posts
July 05 2012 23:19 GMT
#9
So you've been pining for her for 7 years? Cutting her out is definitely the right call to make here, it's the only way
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
SigmaoctanusIV
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States3313 Posts
July 05 2012 23:24 GMT
#10
I have been in the exact same situation it doesn't feel good, You kind of never get over it tell you are finally with someone else. Isn't so crazy to think that you could feel so strongly for someone and they not feel the same to you. Truly a cruel world, an unbalanced piece of shit sometimes. Though you need to keep truckin and move on with life. Eventually I am sure it will pass. Atleast that is what I am told to believe, Life hurts but it also feels so damn good when you find something that felt that way about you.

My story is a bit more fucked up, possibly twisted, So I have much more hope for you good sir!!!
I am Godzilla You are Japan
UmbraaeternuS
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Chile476 Posts
July 05 2012 23:26 GMT
#11
On July 06 2012 08:18 EngrishTeacher wrote:

I'm just afraid I'm going to be fucking retarded and lose control one day, calling her up and fucking up as hard as you did.

Fuck our lives.


Dude, I went full retard and lost the game.
NEVER go full retard.

Stay away from booze. That would be my best advice.
+ Show Spoiler +
Stupid and sensual scotch. Damn it.
therealwinters - Skype / @DrUmbra - Twitter // "There is nothing more cool than being proud of the things that you love" - Sean "Day[9]" Plott <3
Slithe
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
United States985 Posts
July 05 2012 23:27 GMT
#12
On July 06 2012 08:04 UmbraaeternuS wrote:
Not really. 7 months ago I dumped my 4th girlfriend because she went all psycho on me, getting in my e-mail and in my cellphone to check for the calls I'd done for the day.
Felicity was like the "Wingman" of the Bro-code, but instead of the mandatory huge pair of balls, she had a vagina. That's how close we were. I tried practicing the "a new nail takes an old nail out of the wood" by knowing some other girls, 4 of which, in a space of over 6 years became my GFs, but I always had HER in my head.
Not cool, bro. Not cool.


Bro Code Article 134 - "A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman."

On topic: If you've already cut communication with her and have tried meeting other girls, then I dunno what other course of action you can take. You're probably just boned.
Sigh
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Canada2433 Posts
July 05 2012 23:28 GMT
#13
Wow, I feel for you, man. Cutting her out of your life was definitely the right thing to do, the only way you'll truly get over her is if you meet someone better (while also cutting contact with her). Give it time.
Also, you're doctor, go buy yourself a shiny new toy (sexy ass car), that will take her off your mind for while :D
GL!!
NaDa/Flash/Thorzain Fan
Qwyn
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2779 Posts
July 05 2012 23:30 GMT
#14
You approached her as a friend for too long. And she thought of you as a friend. I know for a guy it might be easy to be like - shit I like this girl! - after a long time but the response is not mutual. You were already friendzoned for a long time, lol. There was nothing you could do.

That is extremely rude that she would not see you in any way. You made the right choice in the end.

But isn't there some way that you can just BLOCK her from your social media instead of closing it, lol. I wouldn't close my skype for that - too much of a pain in the ass.

Also, why would you go see her? Don't do that. Man it sucks that men can get so fucked up by dem hormones. What the fuck that's stupid. Argh.

Nice job on medschool, though. Congrats! And I think I'd find someone else so that you can finally let her go. I think nearly a year is a bit too long.
"Think of the hysteria following the realization that they consciously consume babies and raise the dead people from their graves" - N0
Th1rdEye
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States1074 Posts
July 05 2012 23:35 GMT
#15
And this shall be written on our epitaphs
from the days of: TheMarine [NC]...YellOw [H.O.T.]-Forever99 OgOgO [_MuMyung_] ChRh PlayGrrrr.... SlayerS_`BoxeR` [Oops]Reach [ReD]NaDa [DF]zergboy..!! Pusan[S.G] Nal_rA GARIMTO SSamJJang ChoJJa JinSu Silent_Control iloveoov H_PauL_WII JulyZerg [DaK]JoYo
Silencioseu
Profile Joined June 2011
Cyprus493 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-05 23:54:14
July 05 2012 23:51 GMT
#16
I'm gonna go with the classy you-should-see-a-doctor.
Nah jk. Well, your situation is kinda over isn't it? I mean, it's like you said her "Fuck you" by blocking her like that. You should never get to be that much open with her, but you know, those thing can't be controlled. She opened up and you accepted her as a friend, it's pretty much over by that point, you should never hope for that girl again.

After all, you know what they say, there are a lot of fish in the sea.

I just noticed the part that you go there, and she acts all busy, man that's rude, i would never have respect for a woman like that no matter how crushed i'm on her.
i kno i r badass no need to repeat
Day[9]
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
United States7366 Posts
July 06 2012 00:00 GMT
#17
Fucking Felicity man =/. Condolences.
Whenever I encounter some little hitch, or some of my orbs get out of orbit, nothing pleases me so much as to make the crooked straight and crush down uneven places. www.day9.tv
Djagulingu
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Germany3605 Posts
July 06 2012 00:02 GMT
#18
The 2 best moves i saw in this blog:

1- Confessing your love
2- Giving her the finger

Yes, if you give her the finger for good, you never see/talk to/have any more good memories with her, but this is not about her, it's about you. You say you have been in a bad shape ever since she has been in your life. All the obsessions and shit, First you get over the obsession and then poof she disappears from your life, along with every single thing you fuck up with because of her.
"windows bash is a steaming heap of shit" tofucake
Wintex
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Norway16838 Posts
July 06 2012 00:14 GMT
#19
Welp, I don't want to say what you should do! People are morons and telling the truth seems hard for some (I am too harsh at times tho... BUT ANYWAY). In the words of Day9, Fucking Felicity man...
The Bomber boy
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
July 06 2012 00:24 GMT
#20
You did the right and smart thing. Dis gurl be playing games. I know she's attractive but let yourself move on. gl bro
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
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