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zbedlam
Australia549 Posts
You cant "make" a relationship work, well you can but its not really fun for either person. If you have confessed your feelings for eachother and it doesnt go anywhere within a day or two, odds are its not going anywhere ever. If you go out to see her and she doesn't show, get pissed. Girls do not find males that follow them blindly attractive at all. | ||
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tehemperorer
United States2183 Posts
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insaneMicro
Germany761 Posts
I don´t think I´ve ever heard of that working. Anyway, you did the right thing in my opinion. She´s obviously not interested in you as a man, but would like to keep you around as an emotional sponge. Good luck to you sir, other mothers have beautiful daughters as well :D + Show Spoiler + Also, next time cut donw on the image macros please, those stopped being original years ago -.- | ||
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CopperLeague
154 Posts
Do you think about having sex with this girl? If you're like most men in this situation, you don't. What you want is to kiss her, hold her close, hold her hand, talk to her while she's sitting next to you. You don't want to have sex. But women are sexual creatures. Yes, so are men, but we have porn. And porn isn't as good as sex, but it's close. So it kills our sex drive. We want to hang out with girls to hold their hands – not to have sex. Girls are like men without porn. They need sex and hand holding. This girl knows you won't deliver on the sexual end because you've never been horny with her. Instead you talk about how you love her. I know it's true. But when you only want affection from a girl, you will never be more than friends. The solution to this problem? Start seeing her in a horny light. Picture her in your mind naked. Picture her sucking your dick. Picture fucking her. Then tell her you can't stand having her around because of how horny she makes you, and how it's all her fault. "Why did you delete me on Facebook?" "Because I get so horny whenever I think about you I can't function. It's not my fault. Look what you've done to me. I can't sleep at night. I just roll around all night because I'm so fucking horny." Then she says, let's just talk like we used to. Then you say, that's impossible, whenever I talk to you I get so horny I can't control myself. It's best for both of us if you stay away – maybe I can get some sleep at night. Does this girl live near you? If not, what are you doing? If so, either she'll want to hang out with you or she'll go her own way. Why would she want to hang out with you? Because your new behavior intrigues her. She could SENSE you weren't horny before – that you just wanted to play with her hair and whisper sweet things into her ear. But now you are horny and it turns her on. Girls love it when guys are so into them they can't control themselves. So she wants to hang out. You say, "no. You can't come over. I'll get so horny I won't be able to help myself. I'm like a fucking predator." And if she doesn't come over, no problem – you were just friends with her anyways. You haven't lost anything (except her friendship, which—let's face it—is not what you want, no matter how much you tell yourself). If she does come over, your relationship goes to a new level: the sexual relationship. This is the only method that works to get out of the friend zone. It's not 100%, but it works pretty damn well. It's because you're showing this girl you're a man. And that's what she wants. It's biology, use it to your advantage. And stop looking at porn. | ||
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MrASAP
United Kingdom63 Posts
She proberly left you that crappy message because she was upset, either way the passing of time is a great healer, soon you will find someone else and forget all about her. Plus you might randomly bump into her one day again and after some light conversation be sooooo happy that you never were an item, this has happend with both of my previous Felicitys. The only other thing i can say is keep telling your self that it is "her loss" which without sounding arogant in anyway is most likely true. | ||
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FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
On July 07 2012 01:01 CopperLeague wrote: You gotta be horny. Do you think about having sex with this girl? If you're like most men in this situation, you don't. What you want is to kiss her, hold her close, hold her hand, talk to her while she's sitting next to you. You don't want to have sex. But women are sexual creatures. Yes, so are men, but we have porn. And porn isn't as good as sex, but it's close. So it kills our sex drive. We want to hang out with girls to hold their hands – not to have sex. Girls are like men without porn. They need sex and hand holding. This girl knows you won't deliver on the sexual end because you've never been horny with her. Instead you talk about how you love her. I know it's true. But when you only want affection from a girl, you will never be more than friends. The solution to this problem? Start seeing her in a horny light. Picture her in your mind naked. Picture her sucking your dick. Picture fucking her. Then tell her you can't stand having her around because of how horny she makes you, and how it's all her fault. "Why did you delete me on Facebook?" "Because I get so horny whenever I think about you I can't function. It's not my fault. Look what you've done to me. I can't sleep at night. I just roll around all night because I'm so fucking horny." Then she says, let's just talk like we used to. Then you say, that's impossible, whenever I talk to you I get so horny I can't control myself. It's best for both of us if you stay away – maybe I can get some sleep at night. Does this girl live near you? If not, what are you doing? If so, either she'll want to hang out with you or she'll go her own way. Why would she want to hang out with you? Because your new behavior intrigues her. She could SENSE you weren't horny before – that you just wanted to play with her hair and whisper sweet things into her ear. But now you are horny and it turns her on. Girls love it when guys are so into them they can't control themselves. So she wants to hang out. You say, "no. You can't come over. I'll get so horny I won't be able to help myself. I'm like a fucking predator." And if she doesn't come over, no problem – you were just friends with her anyways. You haven't lost anything (except her friendship, which—let's face it—is not what you want, no matter how much you tell yourself). If she does come over, your relationship goes to a new level: the sexual relationship. This is the only method that works to get out of the friend zone. It's not 100%, but it works pretty damn well. It's because you're showing this girl you're a man. And that's what she wants. It's biology, use it to your advantage. And stop looking at porn. THIS! Its a long shot but its probably the only way. | ||
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sc4k
United Kingdom5454 Posts
On July 07 2012 01:18 FractalsOnFire wrote: THIS! Its a long shot but its probably the only way. I don't think this is great. I can imagine a nerdly nerd stuttering through some pre-prepared lines like a novice naughty hotline operator. It would be cringe-worthy and the sort of thing you see in a comedy film. Although it is true you need to get your feelings out and I agree with the porn overload thing, it can actually prevent your natural instincts emboldening your spirit. | ||
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Flip9
Germany151 Posts
Sorry OP I can't help you, but I wish you the best. | ||
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tehemperorer
United States2183 Posts
On July 07 2012 01:34 sc4k wrote: I don't think this is great. I can imagine a nerdly nerd stuttering through some pre-prepared lines like a novice naughty hotline operator. It would be cringe-worthy and the sort of thing you see in a comedy film. Although it is true you need to get your feelings out and I agree with the porn overload thing, it can actually prevent your natural instincts emboldening your spirit. I can imagine a bunch of inexperienced nerds on a forum talking about it... The dude is actually right that's pretty much how it goes, but nerds, because they lack social skills from being in front of a computer all day talking on forums anonymously without the risks associated with social exposure, typically don't have the experience to know that you never blurt out something lame like "I LOVE YOU LETS BECOME BOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND ITS ALL PLANNED OUT IN MY HEAD." Most people, guys included, get way more enjoyment out of organic connections... the "have a drink/hang out see where it goes" thing rather than "we share all our secrets like bedfellows let us pledge our love my betrothed." | ||
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Slardar
Canada7593 Posts
<3 | ||
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Bigtony
United States1606 Posts
On July 07 2012 01:01 CopperLeague wrote: You gotta be horny. + Show Spoiler + Do you think about having sex with this girl? If you're like most men in this situation, you don't. What you want is to kiss her, hold her close, hold her hand, talk to her while she's sitting next to you. You don't want to have sex. But women are sexual creatures. Yes, so are men, but we have porn. And porn isn't as good as sex, but it's close. So it kills our sex drive. We want to hang out with girls to hold their hands – not to have sex. Girls are like men without porn. They need sex and hand holding. This girl knows you won't deliver on the sexual end because you've never been horny with her. Instead you talk about how you love her. I know it's true. But when you only want affection from a girl, you will never be more than friends. The solution to this problem? Start seeing her in a horny light. Picture her in your mind naked. Picture her sucking your dick. Picture fucking her. Then tell her you can't stand having her around because of how horny she makes you, and how it's all her fault. "Why did you delete me on Facebook?" "Because I get so horny whenever I think about you I can't function. It's not my fault. Look what you've done to me. I can't sleep at night. I just roll around all night because I'm so fucking horny." Then she says, let's just talk like we used to. Then you say, that's impossible, whenever I talk to you I get so horny I can't control myself. It's best for both of us if you stay away – maybe I can get some sleep at night. Does this girl live near you? If not, what are you doing? If so, either she'll want to hang out with you or she'll go her own way. Why would she want to hang out with you? Because your new behavior intrigues her. She could SENSE you weren't horny before – that you just wanted to play with her hair and whisper sweet things into her ear. But now you are horny and it turns her on. Girls love it when guys are so into them they can't control themselves. So she wants to hang out. You say, "no. You can't come over. I'll get so horny I won't be able to help myself. I'm like a fucking predator." And if she doesn't come over, no problem – you were just friends with her anyways. You haven't lost anything (except her friendship, which—let's face it—is not what you want, no matter how much you tell yourself). If she does come over, your relationship goes to a new level: the sexual relationship. This is the only method that works to get out of the friend zone. It's not 100%, but it works pretty damn well. It's because you're showing this girl you're a man. And that's what she wants. It's biology, use it to your advantage. And stop looking at porn. Holy fucking creepy advice man. | ||
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CopperLeague
154 Posts
Why? | ||
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Bigtony
United States1606 Posts
Then tell her you can't stand having her around because of how horny she makes you, and how it's all her fault. "Why did you delete me on Facebook?" "Because I get so horny whenever I think about you I can't function. It's not my fault. Look what you've done to me. I can't sleep at night. I just roll around all night because I'm so fucking horny." What was I thinking I guess that's not creepy at all. ... Although that's definitely insightful about affection vs sexual. | ||
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CopperLeague
154 Posts
On July 07 2012 03:13 Bigtony wrote: What was I thinking I guess that's not creepy at all. ... Although that's definitely insightful about affection vs sexual. Would you rather be the guy who's "just friends" with every girl he meets, every time, or the guy who's "creepy" to some girls and "sexy" to others? Most men are too afraid of being "creepy." It's what we fear over anything else, practically. Here's the problem: in order to be sexually attractive, you need to risk being creepy. Saying, "Because I get so horny whenever I think about you I can't function" could very well be "creepy" to one girl. But it's going to be hot as fuck for another. The reality is, the risk of being creepy is actually minimal. Girls love knowing that they drive a guy crazy. Here's what's creepy: Having no sexual feelings for a girl and pursuing her for a relationship. Playing it safe and avoiding "being creepy" is a surefire way to guarantee creepiness. | ||
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Bigtony
United States1606 Posts
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CopperLeague
154 Posts
On July 07 2012 03:23 Bigtony wrote: This has nothing to do with playing it safe or missing opportunities. Telling a person straight out "sorry I can't hang out with you because you make me so fucking horny" is creepy. Why? | ||
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zev318
Canada4306 Posts
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Endymion
United States3701 Posts
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Escuche
60 Posts
On July 06 2012 20:23 treekiller wrote: I recommend stalking her. Eventually she will relent, or you will end up in prison. Either way, you'll get some loving. LOL! That made my day. Seriously though, a lot of people have posted advice, but what exactly is the goal here? To forget about her, right? OP doesn't need "here's what you should've done," he needs "here's what you do now." Honestly I don't think 10 months is that long in a case like this. My suggestion is wait it out, which is gonna suck, but that's the only guaranteed way to fix it. To make it easier on yourself, start up some type of long-term project that will show you clear improvement, something like working out, learning a language, or even just practicing SC2 more seriously. The more involved you get with that, the less you'll think about her over time, and a few months down the line you'll have a new skill and won't be thinking about her at all. | ||
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tehemperorer
United States2183 Posts
On July 07 2012 05:34 Escuche wrote: LOL! That made my day. Seriously though, a lot of people have posted advice, but what exactly is the goal here? To forget about her, right? OP doesn't need "here's what you should've done," he needs "here's what you do now." Honestly I don't think 10 months is that long in a case like this. My suggestion is wait it out, which is gonna suck, but that's the only guaranteed way to fix it. To make it easier on yourself, start up some type of long-term project that will show you clear improvement, something like working out, learning a language, or even just practicing SC2 more seriously. The more involved you get with that, the less you'll think about her over time, and a few months down the line you'll have a new skill and won't be thinking about her at all. When I read the post it struck me more as a general inexperience with love interests more than a one-time thing, a situation that will arise time and time again over the course of his life. I think therefore he should really reflect on what he did and have some introspection on why he may feel lost or follow a completely bad direction or set of actions when pursuing love interests. In fact, I would say less SC2 and more getting outside with friends. I would also counsel some humility and instead of moving on like I said earlier, to face what he did and talk to her. Simply saying "hey I freaked out because I didn't know how to handle my feelings; I still wannabe friends" will most likely do wonders for him. | ||
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