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On August 13 2011 20:49 FJ wrote: Then we went home and ate a special dog stew as apposed to the beef stew we intended to eat. What a heart warming tale noh?
the first like 5 times i read this i thought you meant you ate the dog LOL
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On August 14 2011 00:42 FrankWalls wrote:Show nested quote +On August 13 2011 20:49 FJ wrote: Then we went home and ate a special dog stew as apposed to the beef stew we intended to eat. What a heart warming tale noh? the first like 5 times i read this i thought you meant you ate the dog LOL
Well, this is awkward, because, that is exactly what I did.....
Remember, she asked for the dog to be skinned, but not boned....
It tastes a bit bland, like generic red meat. It tastes like rat....anyone else had rat?
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you should make a tumblr FJ! I bet loads of people would follow you!
Also, my Dad has been working in Katar for several years now, and I think it's very similar to Dubai in the sense that Indians and Pakistanis live terrible lives there as the labour class. I only visited for a few days at a time, so I didn't really have much contact with the people there, but it seems to me that it's basically impossible to meet anyone in a country like that, so mad props to you for finding so many friends there!
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This is gross looking back, but when I was younger and first discovering the joys of pleasuring myself, I would sometimes just let it fall onto the floor, and the family dog (black lab) would lick it up. No fussing with tissues or anything for me.
That right there is embarassing to admit.
Anyway, one time I was doing this and the dog came towards me as I was finishing, and it landed on the top of his head. I wiped it off, but there were these white spots matted into his fur, that stayed there for a few weeks until the next time he got a bath.
No one ever said "what's that in his hair?" But I knew what it was...
I felt stupid every time I saw it.
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On August 14 2011 00:27 Lz wrote: I have a embarrassing story..
I once lost to machine...
ohh the shame... and embarrassment!
Haha that's a good one.
Seriously don't joke about...
+ Show Spoiler +
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FJ, you have made my day with these stories. And it even just so happens to be my birthday. I thank you for sharing sir and hope you continue to do so. <333333333
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On August 14 2011 00:49 FJ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2011 00:42 FrankWalls wrote:On August 13 2011 20:49 FJ wrote: Then we went home and ate a special dog stew as apposed to the beef stew we intended to eat. What a heart warming tale noh? the first like 5 times i read this i thought you meant you ate the dog LOL Well, this is awkward, because, that is exactly what I did..... Remember, she asked for the dog to be skinned, but not boned.... It tastes a bit bland, like generic red meat. It tastes like rat....anyone else had rat?
oh =o. well at least now i know i wasnt wrong the first 5 times
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I don't really have any super awkward stories, just a few anecdotes where I was really embarassed :p
1) I'm a pretty skinny/pale/fragile guy. Now, this isn't really a problem, except for whenever I have to go somewhere in the morning and skip breakfast/not drink something when I wake up. Well, a couple of years ago I had to take some medicine but before that I had to go to the hospital so they could extract some blood samples to determine the correct daily dose. I had to go there at like 6 in the morning and had to go there on a "sober stomach". The nurse that took the samples was actually pretty cute and I was (unsuccesfully of course, I was a fucking highschool nerd) trying to flirt with her. While the needle stuck in my arm and she was draining a second bottle, my vision turned blurry and I passed out on the floor. That was the first time I feinted in my life, and I discovered then your whole body turns pretty numb when it happens leading to me pissing all over my pants/the floor >.> My dad, who was there with me, was actually really helpfull (I was still really drowsy even after waking up) but I remember walking across the parking lot with an obsiouly wet pants and a lot of people looking at me
2) I often have that moment where you say something bad and it turns out someone involved in whatever you're saying stands right next to you. This one time, I was ranting to my friends (and a couple of their friends I didn't know) about a teacher of mine, insulting him and the usual stuff. Turns out one of the folk I didn't know was his daughter >.> This is actually quite mean of me but w/e. I was sitting in the schoolbus, we were on a fieldtrip. There was this girl in my class that was a bit of a snob, and her mother had died like... 10 years ago at the time. Now, obviously that's horrible and all, but she was really exploiting the whole thing, she was quite the attention whore. Obviously I had to go off on a monologue to my friend trashing this girl pretty badly when it turns out she sat RIGHT behind me. I honestly don't know how I could've missed that but whatever. She started crying and ran to the other end of the bus. I felt pretty horrible :s
3) When I was 17, I got drunk for the first time. I'm Belgian, so I've been drinking beer since the age of... 12, 13 or sth. It's widely accepted for kids to start sipping beers and drinking a glass or sth at the dinner table. I hadn't ever gotten drunk though. Anyways, my brother (who is 2 years older than me and was in his first year of university at the time) threw a party with some college friends, at our place. I went into it thinking "I'll have a few drinks, have a good time, I'm not planning on getting drunk but if it happens, oh well." I went completely overboard. I had something like 30 beers, then a good 10 more of those slightly more fancy beers (~10%alcohol-ish) and then drank half a bottle of jenever (I think this is gin in english, it's like ~30-40% alcohol). Do note up untill then I never drank more than what, 5 beers? I have no memory of that night after my 20th beer, and found out what happened because of facebook photos >.> The morning after, I woke up in my bed, filled with puke. I had actually slept in my own vomit, it had crusted onto my face. I vomited over 20 seperate times that day. I'm actually surprised my dad wasn't mad. He was fairly disappointed, still he cleaned my sheets and didn't bother me with questions all that much (I was a pretty good kid in general, not rly a troublemaker). Anyways, as it turns out, I had: poured beer over myself while dancing on a table, shirtless, with a bucket (dear god I hope this was empty then) upside down on my head; I had dryhumped some tattooed guy I don't even know the name of to this day, then later that guy chased me, naked, through my own house. Strangest night of my life to be honest.
4) I just finished my first year of university. Now, I didn't do that much crazy shit, I'm actually going out/drinking way more than I should but I try to not let myself go crazy as I'm studying physics and it's really fucking tough Anyways, some fond memories include: My friends mock me for the fact that I've never had a girlfriend before, nor kissed a girl (pretty sad I know, but it doesn't bother me that much). They don't mean any harm though, it's all good fun. Unfortunatly, every single time some of them get drunk they try to hook me up with the most random people ever. Like, one night they intentionally dragged me to every fat chick in the bar asking "Do you want to be the Moby Dick to his Ahab?" (lame pun, I know). They've also purposely got mutual (female) friends of ours drunk in attempt to get me laid. This leads to me, helplessly trying to convince some girl that's pretty attractive and fun (but that I don't wanna 'bang in the alley') that no, she should not learn me how to take of a bra, nor let me feel her up in a public area. These same friends of mine are the people I hang out with all the time. Most of them are in the same faculty (the one that contains language/regional studies, history, art, that kind of stuff) so naturally we hang out in their faculty bar all the time. This also happens to be the place where the university organises parties for foreign exchange students. Obviously we try to sneak in all the time. Me and a buddy actually managed to get in under the names "Dimitri and Boris, from Belarus" (no idea why we picked that country). We started hitting on some girls, drinking a bit, when suddenly we meet some guy that's actually_from_Belarus What are the odds huh ^^ anyways, the awkward moment happens when, after we explain to him we're just belgian kids trying to have fun, he starts trying to convince us to go to Minsk, and that it'd be great. He said "it's a very nice place, lots of beautiful girls, or boys if you're like that". He continues to describe him fucking some 16 year old boy and how it was a wonderfull "first gay experience for him". I think after a while we just walked away in confusion xD
that's all I can think of off the top of my head. sorry if they're underwhelming, and apologies for the wall of text
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On August 14 2011 02:30 bo0 wrote:4) I just finished my first year of university. Now, I didn't do that much crazy shit, I'm actually going out/drinking way more than I should but I try to not let myself go crazy as I'm studying physics and it's really fucking tough Anyways, some fond memories include: My friends mock me for the fact that I've never had a girlfriend before, nor kissed a girl (pretty sad I know, but it doesn't bother me that much). They don't mean any harm though, it's all good fun. Unfortunatly, every single time some of them get drunk they try to hook me up with the most random people ever. Like, one night they intentionally dragged me to every fat chick in the bar asking "Do you want to be the Moby Dick to his Ahab?" (lame pun, I know). They've also purposely got mutual (female) friends of ours drunk in attempt to get me laid. This leads to me, helplessly trying to convince some girl that's pretty attractive and fun (but that I don't wanna 'bang in the alley') that no, she should not learn me how to take of a bra, nor let me feel her up in a public area. These same friends of mine are the people I hang out with all the time. Most of them are in the same faculty (the one that contains language/regional studies, history, art, that kind of stuff) so naturally we hang out in their faculty bar all the time. This also happens to be the place where the university organises parties for foreign exchange students. Obviously we try to sneak in all the time. Me and a buddy actually managed to get in under the names "Dimitri and Boris, from Belarus" (no idea why we picked that country). We started hitting on some girls, drinking a bit, when suddenly we meet some guy that's actually_from_Belarus What are the odds huh ^^ anyways, the awkward moment happens when, after we explain to him we're just belgian kids trying to have fun, he starts trying to convince us to go to Minsk, and that it'd be great. He said "it's a very nice place, lots of beautiful girls, or boys if you're like that". He continues to describe him fucking some 16 year old boy and how it was a wonderfull "first gay experience for him". I think after a while we just walked away in confusion xD that's all I can think of off the top of my head. sorry if they're underwhelming, and apologies for the wall of text
Brilliant!
Mine's not really embarrassing, more just extremely awkward:
So I'm skiing in Val d'Isere with my mates, and we go to a pub to watch the Champions League match between Arsenal and Barcalona (you know the one where Messi scored 4 goals in 20 mins). As it's like the 2nd last day of the trip, the only t-shirt I have left is one sporting the grand phrase he's gay (One like thisOne like this). Anyway, it gets to half time and this german woman next to me turns around and says "Sorry if my English not so good, what does your shirt mean?"
Needless to say, a lot of hand movements and ums followed...
Funny, that was the same night as when we got a gin bottle run over by a piste basher and a mate lost his glasses...
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so here's one
its after school, im playing bball with some friends ya know i go up to intercept and smack the ball, but then it goes and hits some dudes who are known as trouble makers, right on their boom box
now they get all pissed and come up, and im like chill, well they dont want to chill, they grab me and swing me around and around, so yea i get into that fight
my mom hears of this, and she's all worried, and says that i have to move in with my auntie and uncle in bel air.
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On August 14 2011 00:27 Lz wrote: I have a embarrassing story..
I once lost to machine...
ohh the shame... and embarrassment!
I don't believe it, your gosu bank strat was too pro.
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I was driving to see some relatives up in Utah (I live in SoCal). So I stop for gas at this one place and its rather cold outside. I walk inside to use the bathroom and buy a bag of sunflower seeds. So I buy the bag and have like 70 cents or so in change. I walk back out to the car and i see this older black guy standing there with a paper coffee cup like you would get at Stabucks or something stretched out. So i walk by and place my change in this cup. Then i hear *plop plop plop*. Dropped my changed right into this poor guys coffee.
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On August 14 2011 04:14 Arathore wrote: I was driving to see some relatives up in Utah (I live in SoCal). So I stop for gas at this one place and its rather cold outside. I walk inside to use the bathroom and buy a bag of sunflower seeds. So I buy the bag and have like 70 cents or so in change. I walk back out to the car and i see this older black guy standing there with a paper coffee cup like you would get at Stabucks or something stretched out. So i walk by and place my change in this cup. Then i hear *plop plop plop*. Dropped my changed right into this poor guys coffee.
haha, short but funny :D
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So, a girl from work asked me to her house for a party, it was her birthday.
So I went to the party, and since they're Filipino, we ate dog and rat that night. I got pretty drunk, but all in all, a good night.
Now, it was a stupid idea, but the party was a the night before work. I tried to say it was alright since I was on the afternoon shift, and I wont drink much. Well I did, quite a lot.
I went to word the next day, and felt pretty ill about it.
All through the shift I was feeling worse and worse and worse.
It came to the end of the shift, I made it, finally.
I was really excited and sat up hastily....big mistake. The quick movement made me vomit into my own mouth, I ran to the bathroom but around the corner was my boss. I bumped into her and puked up chunks of dog and rat onto her shoes and legs.
FML
She was cool about it though. After I was sick, I felt great haha. I cleaned it up and went home. She never even mentioned it, just asked how I was. That, without directly saying, but it was obvious she knew, she suggested the staff don't get together and get pissed on a work night.
Still super embarrassing though.
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On August 14 2011 04:14 Arathore wrote: I was driving to see some relatives up in Utah (I live in SoCal). So I stop for gas at this one place and its rather cold outside. I walk inside to use the bathroom and buy a bag of sunflower seeds. So I buy the bag and have like 70 cents or so in change. I walk back out to the car and i see this older black guy standing there with a paper coffee cup like you would get at Stabucks or something stretched out. So i walk by and place my change in this cup. Then i hear *plop plop plop*. Dropped my changed right into this poor guys coffee. I laughed out loud.
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I have done a lot of embarassing stuff but nothing which is funny :< Keep it coming FJ this thread is a lot of fun to read. Everyone else too
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I'm impressed no one mentioned socially awkward penguin yet, lol. Heres a couple of them, that have happened to me several times:
Well, this one pretty much sums it up, lol:
User was warned for this post
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This is embarassing situations, not mildly awkward moments that are funny because everyone can relate to them.
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On August 14 2011 03:50 amd098 wrote: so here's one
its after school, im playing bball with some friends ya know i go up to intercept and smack the ball, but then it goes and hits some dudes who are known as trouble makers, right on their boom box
now they get all pissed and come up, and im like chill, well they dont want to chill, they grab me and swing me around and around, so yea i get into that fight
my mom hears of this, and she's all worried, and says that i have to move in with my auntie and uncle in bel air. That is the worst Fresh Price of Bel Air reference ever...
seriously FJ should just spam stories out, they are too entertaining...damn Filipino girls, they be too easy...
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Northern Ireland23286 Posts
Was going to see my old band play but was rather bitter about being kicked out so started drinking heavily.
I'm not a malicious drunk by any means, merely idiotic. We ended up in some hotel trying to prise open some shutters with the rationale being 'Oh, well we can pour our own and pay in reception'. Security evidently didn't share our belief that this was a good idea so we got chased out of the place
My next brainwave was that I would scale some 8 foot high fences and hide out in a park overnight, but sadly I managed to impale my scrotum on said fence, puncturing it. The alcohol masked this pain so I didn't notice until 3pm the next day, but it was still somewhat inconvenient. My friends were also somewhat too drunk to help me so we had to rely on a friendly German passer-by to rescue me
Next day upon noticing my injury I rang my friend to speak to his mum (who is a nurse) and despite her laughs got some solid medical advice. I decided, being still a bit loaded that I would make it into work and upon being quizzed about my peculiar walking stance explained the story
Sadly I have been a complete joke in my workplace since this, possibly not without reason
Oh and to add even more horror I had some girl travelling up from Dublin who for some strange reason wanted to have sex with me, she also had that like 4 day stubble down below, I swear to god the discomfort of fucking under those conditions has scarred me to this day
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