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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On March 17 2014 10:03 FreedomMurder wrote:
My girlfriend of 6 months is planning on moving to a new apartment and recently I've been tempted to move as well cause my landlord sucks. I sense her hinting that she wants to live with me but she hasn't asked me out right. On one hand I don't want to jeopardize our so far awesome relationship but on the other I think we could making living together work. I'm 22 years old currently in university if that adds any context. What do you guys think?
in general living with someone is pretty nice, the only downsides are if you have a fight it can be awkward since there is nowhere to escape and cool off.
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On March 17 2014 10:44 Orcasgt24 wrote:
No such thing as leagues bro. Get that kind of crap out of your head asap!
there definitely are leagues. And I mean for a relationship, not just setting up a single date.
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On March 17 2014 11:06 biology]major wrote:Show nested quote +On March 17 2014 10:44 Orcasgt24 wrote:
No such thing as leagues bro. Get that kind of crap out of your head asap! there definitely are leagues. And I mean for a relationship, not just setting up a single date.
It's a limiting belief, there may be leagues but it doesn't help you to think of women in terms of in your league/out of your league nor are they set in stone.
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On March 17 2014 10:03 FreedomMurder wrote:
My girlfriend of 6 months is planning on moving to a new apartment and recently I've been tempted to move as well cause my landlord sucks. I sense her hinting that she wants to live with me but she hasn't asked me out right. On one hand I don't want to jeopardize our so far awesome relationship but on the other I think we could making living together work. I'm 22 years old currently in university if that adds any context. What do you guys think?
If it's serious go for it. Sure 6 months isn't a lot of time to be sure but living with someone you like is awesome. It solves a lot of logistic problems and money. Obviously it also makes the relationship more serious and both individuals must be ready to be a good "housemate" and take responsibilities concerning holding the house or doing chores. Me and GF have a pretty clear split of who does what every week in the apartment and evenly split bills (with an excel sheet !), while it certainly isn't really romantic I'm pretty sure it prevents a ton of possible conflicts.
I have never felt my relationships diminishing due to moving with someone following these lines. Well... I was pretty sure it would be fine to begin with.
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On March 17 2014 11:35 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On March 17 2014 11:06 biology]major wrote:On March 17 2014 10:44 Orcasgt24 wrote:
No such thing as leagues bro. Get that kind of crap out of your head asap! there definitely are leagues. And I mean for a relationship, not just setting up a single date. It's a limiting belief, there may be leagues but it doesn't help you to think of women in terms of in your league/out of your league nor are they set in stone.
On the other hand, it may be a limiting belief to believe that all women are in your league. If you don't recognize that some women you may never have a chance with, there is a possibility you will waste plenty of your time chasing women pointlessly, instead of enjoying what life has to offer.
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Leagues are very real. Major League. Minor League. Alpha League.
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On March 17 2014 13:20 WarSame wrote:Show nested quote +On March 17 2014 11:35 Najda wrote:On March 17 2014 11:06 biology]major wrote:On March 17 2014 10:44 Orcasgt24 wrote:
No such thing as leagues bro. Get that kind of crap out of your head asap! there definitely are leagues. And I mean for a relationship, not just setting up a single date. It's a limiting belief, there may be leagues but it doesn't help you to think of women in terms of in your league/out of your league nor are they set in stone. On the other hand, it may be a limiting belief to believe that all women are in your league. If you don't recognize that some women you may never have a chance with, there is a possibility you will waste plenty of your time chasing women pointlessly, instead of enjoying what life has to offer.
Believing in leagues is stupid. I see ugly guys, broke guys, fat guys, and all sorts of dudes get with girls. The only reason you would waste time pursuing a girl is if you were a loser nice guy who got friendzoned and couldn't take a hint. Otherwise you just simply ask out girls, go on dates, and keep pursuing them if you are making progress. If not, you move on. This has nothing to do with leagues and everything to do with paying attention to simple hints that a girl is not interested.
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League or no leagues, I am just happy to know that she may be possibly really into me, and hope that it will just work out 
And there are leagues.. I shockingly found out she plays League of Legends as well.. and is unranked, where as I am Silver 2 haha :p
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I am bit confused and don't know what do to.
There is a girl I know for 2 years. Back in the day I asked her out to a date but she refused as she was in a relationship so we both moved on. Over the years we talked many times and became very good friends (she is the closest friend I ever had so far).
Last Tuesday around 2am she called me, she was crying and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. She woke me up, I was half-asleep and barely remembered anything next morning until she called again and asked me if I remember anything. I remembered something so she explained the whole situation. The same day around midday she called again if I have some free time to have lunch together. I had so we had a lunch together, talked a lot, she was confused and somewhat sad, not a great company at all. After we finished the meal she asked if I can accompany her to her place. I said yes since I had nothing to do that day and her place was just a 5 min walk away. There she asked me if I can go up to her flat, around that time I was getting suspicious she might be up to something. Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time. I haven't thought about her as a partner since she refused my date up until this point. Later that day she texted me and asked me out to a movie Wednesday night. I agreed to that and we had an awesome night, she was feeling much better that day. After the movie we went on our way and she didn't ask me to go up to her place.
Since then we talked often, she is feeling better and better as the days go by but she still says she is somewhat mourning his past relationship.
When is it appropriate to ask her out on a date again? I feel somewhat confused about her nowadays, don't really know what to do and starting to think more and more about her as a possible partner.
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On March 17 2014 20:39 Lipko wrote:
I am bit confused and don't know what do to.
There is a girl I know for 2 years. Back in the day I asked her out to a date but she refused as she was in a relationship so we both moved on. Over the years we talked many times and became very good friends (she is the closest friend I ever had so far).
Last Tuesday around 2am she called me, she was crying and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. She woke me up, I was half-asleep and barely remembered anything next morning until she called again and asked me if I remember anything. I remembered something so she explained the whole situation. The same day around midday she called again if I have some free time to have lunch together. I had so we had a lunch together, talked a lot, she was confused and somewhat sad, not a great company at all. After we finished the meal she asked if I can accompany her to her place. I said yes since I had nothing to do that day and her place was just a 5 min walk away. There she asked me if I can go up to her flat, around that time I was getting suspicious she might be up to something. Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time. I haven't thought about her as a partner since she refused my date up until this point. Later that day she texted me and asked me out to a movie Wednesday night. I agreed to that and we had an awesome night, she was feeling much better that day. After the movie we went on our way and she didn't ask me to go up to her place.
Since then we talked often, she is feeling better and better as the days go by but she still says she is somewhat mourning his past relationship.
When is it appropriate to ask her out on a date again? I feel somewhat confused about her nowadays, don't really know what to do and starting to think more and more about her as a possible partner.
Don't think to much.
Just ask her to do something with you. No need to make it an official "date". Have fun and see what happens.
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On March 17 2014 20:39 Lipko wrote:
I am bit confused and don't know what do to.
There is a girl I know for 2 years. Back in the day I asked her out to a date but she refused as she was in a relationship so we both moved on. Over the years we talked many times and became very good friends (she is the closest friend I ever had so far).
Last Tuesday around 2am she called me, she was crying and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. She woke me up, I was half-asleep and barely remembered anything next morning until she called again and asked me if I remember anything. I remembered something so she explained the whole situation. The same day around midday she called again if I have some free time to have lunch together. I had so we had a lunch together, talked a lot, she was confused and somewhat sad, not a great company at all. After we finished the meal she asked if I can accompany her to her place. I said yes since I had nothing to do that day and her place was just a 5 min walk away. There she asked me if I can go up to her flat, around that time I was getting suspicious she might be up to something. Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time. I haven't thought about her as a partner since she refused my date up until this point. Later that day she texted me and asked me out to a movie Wednesday night. I agreed to that and we had an awesome night, she was feeling much better that day. After the movie we went on our way and she didn't ask me to go up to her place.
Since then we talked often, she is feeling better and better as the days go by but she still says she is somewhat mourning his past relationship.
When is it appropriate to ask her out on a date again? I feel somewhat confused about her nowadays, don't really know what to do and starting to think more and more about her as a possible partner.
"Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time."
Like, complete loser thinking. All she wanted was to fuck somebody to feel better and you were not there for her. Get the feminist stuff out of your head, it's all for the better.
Btw you know what happened afterwards? She probably called somebody else to fuck her in your place.
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On March 17 2014 18:01 Kerotan89 wrote:League or no leagues, I am just happy to know that she may be possibly really into me, and hope that it will just work out And there are leagues.. I shockingly found out she plays League of Legends as well.. and is unranked, where as I am Silver 2 haha :p
Silver 2 is still pretty horrid so you shouldn't be an objection.
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On March 18 2014 02:16 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On March 17 2014 20:39 Lipko wrote:
I am bit confused and don't know what do to.
There is a girl I know for 2 years. Back in the day I asked her out to a date but she refused as she was in a relationship so we both moved on. Over the years we talked many times and became very good friends (she is the closest friend I ever had so far).
Last Tuesday around 2am she called me, she was crying and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. She woke me up, I was half-asleep and barely remembered anything next morning until she called again and asked me if I remember anything. I remembered something so she explained the whole situation. The same day around midday she called again if I have some free time to have lunch together. I had so we had a lunch together, talked a lot, she was confused and somewhat sad, not a great company at all. After we finished the meal she asked if I can accompany her to her place. I said yes since I had nothing to do that day and her place was just a 5 min walk away. There she asked me if I can go up to her flat, around that time I was getting suspicious she might be up to something. Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time. I haven't thought about her as a partner since she refused my date up until this point. Later that day she texted me and asked me out to a movie Wednesday night. I agreed to that and we had an awesome night, she was feeling much better that day. After the movie we went on our way and she didn't ask me to go up to her place.
Since then we talked often, she is feeling better and better as the days go by but she still says she is somewhat mourning his past relationship.
When is it appropriate to ask her out on a date again? I feel somewhat confused about her nowadays, don't really know what to do and starting to think more and more about her as a possible partner. "Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time." Like, complete loser thinking. All she wanted was to fuck somebody to feel better and you were not there for her. Get the feminist stuff out of your head, it's all for the better. Btw you know what happened afterwards? She probably called somebody else to fuck her in your place.
Also please dont listen to cloud if you value her as a person and not just as a fuck toy.
"Not fucking someone = looser" is a realy sad logic
for some people "fuck her" is always the right answer........
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On March 18 2014 03:22 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On March 18 2014 02:16 aTnClouD wrote:On March 17 2014 20:39 Lipko wrote:
I am bit confused and don't know what do to.
There is a girl I know for 2 years. Back in the day I asked her out to a date but she refused as she was in a relationship so we both moved on. Over the years we talked many times and became very good friends (she is the closest friend I ever had so far).
Last Tuesday around 2am she called me, she was crying and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. She woke me up, I was half-asleep and barely remembered anything next morning until she called again and asked me if I remember anything. I remembered something so she explained the whole situation. The same day around midday she called again if I have some free time to have lunch together. I had so we had a lunch together, talked a lot, she was confused and somewhat sad, not a great company at all. After we finished the meal she asked if I can accompany her to her place. I said yes since I had nothing to do that day and her place was just a 5 min walk away. There she asked me if I can go up to her flat, around that time I was getting suspicious she might be up to something. Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time. I haven't thought about her as a partner since she refused my date up until this point. Later that day she texted me and asked me out to a movie Wednesday night. I agreed to that and we had an awesome night, she was feeling much better that day. After the movie we went on our way and she didn't ask me to go up to her place.
Since then we talked often, she is feeling better and better as the days go by but she still says she is somewhat mourning his past relationship.
When is it appropriate to ask her out on a date again? I feel somewhat confused about her nowadays, don't really know what to do and starting to think more and more about her as a possible partner. "Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time." Like, complete loser thinking. All she wanted was to fuck somebody to feel better and you were not there for her. Get the feminist stuff out of your head, it's all for the better. Btw you know what happened afterwards? She probably called somebody else to fuck her in your place. Also please dont listen to cloud if you value her as a person and not just as a fuck toy. "Not fucking someone = looser" is a realy sad logic for some people "fuck her" is always the right answer........
This kind of mediocre thinking is hurting you guys so much. Consenting to have sex with a girl doesn't make her an object. We are way past the time when we thought sex is bad and casual sex is an offense to women. Wake up.
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On March 17 2014 20:39 Lipko wrote:
I am bit confused and don't know what do to.
There is a girl I know for 2 years. Back in the day I asked her out to a date but she refused as she was in a relationship so we both moved on. Over the years we talked many times and became very good friends (she is the closest friend I ever had so far).
Last Tuesday around 2am she called me, she was crying and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. She woke me up, I was half-asleep and barely remembered anything next morning until she called again and asked me if I remember anything. I remembered something so she explained the whole situation. The same day around midday she called again if I have some free time to have lunch together. I had so we had a lunch together, talked a lot, she was confused and somewhat sad, not a great company at all. After we finished the meal she asked if I can accompany her to her place. I said yes since I had nothing to do that day and her place was just a 5 min walk away. There she asked me if I can go up to her flat, around that time I was getting suspicious she might be up to something. Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time. I haven't thought about her as a partner since she refused my date up until this point. Later that day she texted me and asked me out to a movie Wednesday night. I agreed to that and we had an awesome night, she was feeling much better that day. After the movie we went on our way and she didn't ask me to go up to her place.
Since then we talked often, she is feeling better and better as the days go by but she still says she is somewhat mourning his past relationship.
When is it appropriate to ask her out on a date again? I feel somewhat confused about her nowadays, don't really know what to do and starting to think more and more about her as a possible partner.
She was sad over the end of a relationship and wanted to have sex. Because you didn't bang her, she probably put you in the friendzone. Just ask her out again and try to kiss her this time, if she says "i'm not ready for a relationship" then move on. Either she's really not ready, or she's just saying that as an excuse.
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Eh, I don't think you want to be the rebound guy. The rebound guy is usually just filler until the next guy comes along. Unless you're ok with that.
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On March 18 2014 03:48 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On March 18 2014 03:22 Snotling wrote:On March 18 2014 02:16 aTnClouD wrote:On March 17 2014 20:39 Lipko wrote:
I am bit confused and don't know what do to.
There is a girl I know for 2 years. Back in the day I asked her out to a date but she refused as she was in a relationship so we both moved on. Over the years we talked many times and became very good friends (she is the closest friend I ever had so far).
Last Tuesday around 2am she called me, she was crying and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. She woke me up, I was half-asleep and barely remembered anything next morning until she called again and asked me if I remember anything. I remembered something so she explained the whole situation. The same day around midday she called again if I have some free time to have lunch together. I had so we had a lunch together, talked a lot, she was confused and somewhat sad, not a great company at all. After we finished the meal she asked if I can accompany her to her place. I said yes since I had nothing to do that day and her place was just a 5 min walk away. There she asked me if I can go up to her flat, around that time I was getting suspicious she might be up to something. Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time. I haven't thought about her as a partner since she refused my date up until this point. Later that day she texted me and asked me out to a movie Wednesday night. I agreed to that and we had an awesome night, she was feeling much better that day. After the movie we went on our way and she didn't ask me to go up to her place.
Since then we talked often, she is feeling better and better as the days go by but she still says she is somewhat mourning his past relationship.
When is it appropriate to ask her out on a date again? I feel somewhat confused about her nowadays, don't really know what to do and starting to think more and more about her as a possible partner. "Seeing she in that confused and saddening state, I refused because it just felt wrong at that time." Like, complete loser thinking. All she wanted was to fuck somebody to feel better and you were not there for her. Get the feminist stuff out of your head, it's all for the better. Btw you know what happened afterwards? She probably called somebody else to fuck her in your place. Also please dont listen to cloud if you value her as a person and not just as a fuck toy. "Not fucking someone = looser" is a realy sad logic for some people "fuck her" is always the right answer........ This kind of mediocre thinking is hurting you guys so much. Consenting to have sex with a girl doesn't make her an object. We are way past the time when we thought sex is bad and casual sex is an offense to women. Wake up.
I'm all for casual sex, and I sure as hell dont think sex is a bad thing for anyone. But that doesn't mean deciding to not fuck a girl is weak, i know that kind of logic dosnt really resonate in some people, but sometimes its just wiser not to get your dick wet^^
And I speak from experience here. I ruined two really good friendships doing exactly what didnt happen here: Fucking a good friend who just had a bad breakup. Sure is nice. But i rather keept the friendships, after all there are plenty of ohter women around who also want sex and/or a relationship.
But I'm sure someone will explain to me why fucking the girl is the right call, no matter the situation^^
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On March 18 2014 02:16 aTnClouD wrote:
Get the feminist stuff out of your head, it's all for the better.
I am curious to hear what you think feminism is
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Netherlands6190 Posts
I think you did the right thing tbh (it was the gentlemanly thing to do and it showed you respected her enough to not give in to your primal instincts) - give her time and space. Having sex with her now does make you the rebound guy and will probably ruin the friendship and the potential for a relationship out of that friendship. She obviously likes you for who you are, so keep being there for her and as the others suggested, keep doing things together.
Edit: YAY Hawk is back
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EPT
