On September 22 2012 23:50 fire_brand wrote:
Don't tell her what to do, but advise her. In the end it's entirely her decision.
She has to understand the burden of raising a child as a teen parent though and has to be ENTIRELY committed to raising that child. If she's not, she needs to get rid of it right now. If you want to help her you need to know that you're going to have to commit ratherly heavily to it as well and it could very well ruin your life. If you're not looking for that then you have to tell her, now.
If she's going to keep it she needs to find a father for her child or her parents are going to have to be heavily involved. Either way its going to make the next several years of her life extremely difficult.
Number one recommnedation is get rid of it, its too much too take care of too early in life. Ultimately that's a decision she has to make though.
I think that this is a very good post. However, I wouldn't necessarily jump to the recommendation of "getting rid of it." Yes, she is making the biggest decision of her life if she has the child: having that child will dictate the rest of her life. That doesn't necessarily mean it is the wrong decision though.
The knee-jerk reaction for most people is to say "get rid of it." While that is the easy choice, it is not always the best one for a young parent. If she understand all of the impacts and responsibilities of having this child, and she decides she wants to do it, she should be free to live her life that way. I am quite sure that she currently doesn't appreciate how significant of a commitment having a child is in addition to it being irreversible.
The best thing you can do as a friend is help inform her and play devil's advocate during discussions. You should make it clear to her what sort of help you'd be willing to provide. If you don't have time to do much, save maybe watch her for a few hours in the evening while she gets some rest, make that clear.
Good luck!