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Active: 17672 users

"Hey, I'm pregnant" - Page 2

Blogs > Xhiwi
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next All
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-21 10:57:03
September 21 2012 10:53 GMT
#21
Your friend seems like a nut case, honestly. If it was me I don't know if I would support her in this, though it'll ruin your friendship with her. (but you do have to protect yourself from people that take advantage of you) gogo abortion, anyway :o
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
Erasme
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Bahamas15899 Posts
September 21 2012 11:12 GMT
#22
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7lxwFEB6FI “‘Drain the swamp’? Stupid saying, means nothing, but you guys loved it so I kept saying it.”
Tyrran
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
France777 Posts
September 21 2012 11:28 GMT
#23
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


This.

Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.

If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can
Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.
SupplyBlockedTV
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
Belgium313 Posts
September 21 2012 11:29 GMT
#24
tell her to get rid of the child. my sister got a child at 18, she is now studying at university...but i can promise you that it is nearly impossible to combine, its GG to future studies, you just cannot combine those two things unless you have some steel willpower and determination.

PEW PEW PEW
Pulimuli
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Sweden2766 Posts
September 21 2012 11:40 GMT
#25
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


An unwanted baby at that, being too young and not being able to care for a child properly and having it is just stupid.

We have enough people in this world alreay, i'd say get an abortion. If she wants children when she's a bit older she can always try to have another one. If that doesnt work out there are millions of starving children in the 3rd world
AxUU
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Finland162 Posts
September 21 2012 11:46 GMT
#26
I say you should help her, but make it clear that you also have your own life to live and that you can't just throw your own life away just to help her raise an accident baby.

ps. if one of my irl mates would just blatantly expect me to help them raise it I would be pissed off, but would prolly still help.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
PiPaPoh
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
121 Posts
September 21 2012 12:04 GMT
#27
On September 21 2012 18:19 Xhiwi wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 21 2012 18:12 PiPaPoh wrote:
If she is your best friend, you have to help her in every kind of trouble.
If you cant help her, thats the point of your relationship where you realize that you are just friends.

There are two directions for you: Help or break up

I think you're totally right. I'm actually not sure If I would really like to help her but I don't have the time or if this is just a stupid excuse.


Another point is: You cant expect a reward. You'll get nothing if you help her.
I know it sounds hard, but if she ruins her life in that way doesnt mean that you have to do the same.

Think about this: Youre at school 10hrs, you leave and help her with the baby. When do you study at home? Midnight?

And the most important thing: Soon the child will be grown up and your friend doesnt need you anymore.
Much time wasted for nothing. Hard world, but you have to think about the future.
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
September 21 2012 13:12 GMT
#28
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


This.

Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.

If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can

So much the above.

My GFs best friend who is currently on vacation in the US told her some days ago that she "had a little accident" and "if she got pregnant from it so be it". I find bringing a child into a world where you aren't able to take care of it properly and without being able to give it what you would want to give it incredibly irresponsible. Not aborting is just as tough of a decision as aborting. Whatever it is, both have huge consequences for the rest of her live and most likely for the lives of the people around her. While I said that I find it to be irresponsible (I know 2 girls who got her kids around 17-19, both cases total disasters a few years later), I also know a girl who needed a few years to get over herself aborting her possible child.

I think the choice is too hard that it would help if her best friend would bombard her with arguments and moral lectures, your best bet is to make it clear to her that whatever her plan is that she has to be aware of most consequences possible. Also she should be aware of the fact that it's her child and her responsibility. Dragging a best friend into it and expecting help is pretty damn selfish imo.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
guN-viCe
Profile Joined March 2010
United States687 Posts
September 21 2012 13:12 GMT
#29
I vote:

- Apologize for slapping her
- Support her, but also question her thought process. Get her to think and educate her if she is ignorant. She may feel that she has to go through with this pregnancy for whatever reason.

Ultimately it is her decision and the best way to be a friend is to support her in her final decision without compromising your own emotions/future.
Never give up, never surrender!!! ~~ Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence -Sagan
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44097 Posts
September 21 2012 13:20 GMT
#30
On September 21 2012 18:12 PiPaPoh wrote:
If she is your best friend, you have to help her in every kind of trouble.
If you cant help her, thats the point of your relationship where you realize that you are just friends.

There are two directions for you: Help or break up


That's absolutely terrible advice in this situation.

Her teen pregnancy is going to ruin her life. Why the hell should it ruin the OP's life too?

If the pregnant girl was going to be a good friend, she wouldn't blatantly tell and attempt to force the OP to help her raise her eventual child. What kind of bullshit is that? You just don't do that. You don't put your friends in that kind of situation.

The pregnant girl clearly isn't ready (at least from an emotional/ maturity standpoint) to be a mother. Have her get an abortion or- if she's morally against it- have her give her child up for adoption or something. Or if she doesn't want to ever get rid of the child, you need to remove yourself from this whole situation immediately. Stop being friends with her, because it looks like she's going to rely on you to do half the shit that she'll need to do. It doesn't appear like she can handle the situation alone (or with the father), and there's absolutely zero reason why the OP has a moral obligation as a friend/ best friend to sacrifice the rest of her time and money to put up with this crap.

Slapping her was exactly what you should have done. That reaction was completely justified.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
September 21 2012 13:26 GMT
#31
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.

Yep, your friend has no fucking clue how hard raising a baby is. Let alone without a reliable father. She shouldn't expect more from you than visits and presents. Seriously though she should abort.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
Paperplane
Profile Joined March 2011
Netherlands1823 Posts
September 21 2012 13:29 GMT
#32
It's not your responsibility. Don't get dragged into this mess or you'll end up spending more time on her baby then she will.
SnipedSoul
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada2158 Posts
September 21 2012 13:41 GMT
#33
On September 21 2012 22:29 Paperplane wrote:
It's not your responsibility. Don't get dragged into this mess or you'll end up spending more time on her baby then she will.


Simple advice the OP should listen to.
Saechiis
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands4989 Posts
September 21 2012 14:03 GMT
#34
I think you need to be really clear with your friend in that you'll support and help her out if possible but that you're not at a stage in your life where you can help raise a child.
I think esports is pretty nice.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
September 21 2012 14:11 GMT
#35
On September 21 2012 18:49 TheKwas wrote:
Serious recommendation: abortion.

Normally I'm not in favor of abortion, but in this case, adpotion or abortion might be a good idea. This girl might know who the father is, but I don't think she understands the magnitude of what has happened. She cannot go to college until the kid is older, like 7, she can't do that because if she doesn't play a role in his childhood, varying issues with the child's early childhood that can haunt him past adulthood.This girl is acting like a dumbass for someone who should be smart.

BTW: WHO THE FUCK IS THE FATHER
User was warned for too many mimes.
lungo
Profile Joined October 2005
Denmark276 Posts
September 21 2012 14:13 GMT
#36
your best friend is not taking responsibility, by this i mean that even if she want a child, she should also consider the childs father, and his opinion and feeling toward this. Raising a child without a father could turn out to be "devastating" in the future, imo a child should allways have the opportunity to raised with love from both a mother and a father.

i dont need to tell how difficult it is to raise a child, as you probably have an idea about that.
as Arnold said: you have been erased! but dont worry!
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44097 Posts
September 21 2012 14:17 GMT
#37
On September 21 2012 23:11 docvoc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 21 2012 18:49 TheKwas wrote:
Serious recommendation: abortion.

Normally I'm not in favor of abortion, but in this case, adpotion or abortion might be a good idea. This girl might know who the father is, but I don't think she understands the magnitude of what has happened. She cannot go to college until the kid is older, like 7, she can't do that because if she doesn't play a role in his childhood, varying issues with the child's early childhood that can haunt him past adulthood.This girl is acting like a dumbass for someone who should be smart.

BTW: WHO THE FUCK IS THE FATHER


I can tell you these two aren't:





But the pregnant girl needs to worry about making sure the father will be there for the baby... not just a random friend.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Cyber_Cheese
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Australia3615 Posts
September 21 2012 14:47 GMT
#38
Don't help her out. It' not yours. She needs to take responsibility.
The moment you lose confidence in yourself, is the moment the world loses it's confidence in you.
r00ty
Profile Joined November 2010
Germany1050 Posts
September 21 2012 14:48 GMT
#39
"And then, this one time at math camp..."
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
September 21 2012 14:51 GMT
#40
Not the father, but slap her anyway after finding out she's pregnant.

You are now: the perfect man.
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
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