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"Hey, I'm pregnant" - Page 3

Blogs > Xhiwi
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U_G_L_Y
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States516 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-21 15:12:55
September 21 2012 15:08 GMT
#41
Adoption. Your friend is clearly not responsible. Abortion is not the only answer. Either way, it it not YOUR responsibility.
Anuzi
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
192 Posts
September 21 2012 15:09 GMT
#42
Doesn't sound like much of a best friend if she wants to foist such a burden onto you. You can of course help her out, but don't sacrifice the important things in your life (education/employment/financial stability/relationships) in order to do so.

You must remember that this is HER choice, not yours, and SHE has to live with the consequences, and not you. If you end up investing a lot of time helping her raise a child that is not yours, you will miss out on the things in life, and you may end up really regretting that later on.

You are 18, this is a very important time in your own life, and it is a time that you do not get back. Please think about yourself and your own future first.
wwJd)El_Mojjo
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Sweden173 Posts
September 21 2012 15:11 GMT
#43
You mentioned being confused... My guess is that she finds the situation quite confusing as well.

Anyways, I guess sometimes being a friend means you will have to give more than you receive in some cases. If you still want to be a close friend of hers than of course you need to be supportive in such a difficult situation (regardless on how much time you are prepared to give up for her).

That being said, are you really the only one she has at the moment?
What about her parents? Will they help too maybe?
Gc.El_Mojjo
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
September 21 2012 15:17 GMT
#44
There's a difference between being supportive as a friend and raising someone else's kid. The girl doesn't seem to understand this difference.
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
danl9rm
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States3111 Posts
September 21 2012 15:19 GMT
#45
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


This.

Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.

If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can


How is this different from the baby?
Killing the child isn't the answer.
"Science has so well established that the preborn baby in the womb is a living human being that most pro-choice activists have conceded the point. ..since the abortion proponents have lost the science argument, they are now advocating an existential one."
Dfgj
Profile Joined May 2008
Singapore5922 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-21 15:27:53
September 21 2012 15:26 GMT
#46
On September 21 2012 18:02 Xhiwi wrote:
My first reaction wasn't right but I slapped her. She didn't cry, no. It seemed like she's proud. She smiled and said: "Yeah, I'm really pregnant. And you'll help me to raise up my child."

Yes, you should be angry with her. Just for that.

On September 22 2012 00:19 danl9rm wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote:
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


This.

Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.

If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can


How is this different from the baby?
Killing the child isn't the answer.

How can an unborn child 'sound like a smart person with a great potential life'? This isn't even a personhood argument, there's just literally no way to know any attributes at all.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46640 Posts
September 21 2012 15:31 GMT
#47
On September 22 2012 00:19 danl9rm wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote:
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


This.

Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.

If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can


How is this different from the baby?
Killing the child isn't the answer.


The pregnant friend doesn't have to abort the fetus. There exists adoption. As in: Hopefully, the baby will have parents who can actually raise him or her in a safe, supportive, and structured environment with parents who are emotionally stable and financially ready for the biggest commitment of all: raising a child.

The pregnant seventeen year old girl clearly is not, as shown by her current behavior and mindset.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-21 16:09:28
September 21 2012 16:08 GMT
#48
On September 22 2012 00:26 Dfgj wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 21 2012 18:02 Xhiwi wrote:
My first reaction wasn't right but I slapped her. She didn't cry, no. It seemed like she's proud. She smiled and said: "Yeah, I'm really pregnant. And you'll help me to raise up my child."

Yes, you should be angry with her. Just for that.

Show nested quote +
On September 22 2012 00:19 danl9rm wrote:
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote:
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


This.

Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.

If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can


How is this different from the baby?
Killing the child isn't the answer.

How can an unborn child 'sound like a smart person with a great potential life'? This isn't even a personhood argument, there's just literally no way to know any attributes at all.


Dude.The poster you quoted was referring to her friend, not the potential baby.

Her friend is a "smart person with a great potential life".

Read the post more carefully.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
CaptainKirk
Profile Joined February 2011
Canada34 Posts
September 21 2012 16:13 GMT
#49
At that age... you should feel no obligation whatsoever to help raise her own kid. Do not commit to anything or get involved, just do your own thing and care less.
tehemperorer
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States2183 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-21 16:15:57
September 21 2012 16:15 GMT
#50
I'd say help her as much as you can, but the relationship like the one you describe isn't worth limiting your own potential. It sounds a lot like she knows the road ahead of her has just gotten significantly more difficult, but wants to drag another person down it too. Be careful, be smart, and remember that you have your own life to live too. Make it clear to her that you will help while you're there, but when you go away to college or when you get a job, you will be available a lot less.
Knowing is half the battle... the other half is lasers.
Dfgj
Profile Joined May 2008
Singapore5922 Posts
September 21 2012 16:22 GMT
#51
On September 22 2012 01:08 Praetorial wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 22 2012 00:26 Dfgj wrote:
On September 21 2012 18:02 Xhiwi wrote:
My first reaction wasn't right but I slapped her. She didn't cry, no. It seemed like she's proud. She smiled and said: "Yeah, I'm really pregnant. And you'll help me to raise up my child."

Yes, you should be angry with her. Just for that.

On September 22 2012 00:19 danl9rm wrote:
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote:
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


This.

Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.

If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can


How is this different from the baby?
Killing the child isn't the answer.

How can an unborn child 'sound like a smart person with a great potential life'? This isn't even a personhood argument, there's just literally no way to know any attributes at all.


Dude.The poster you quoted was referring to her friend, not the potential baby.

Her friend is a "smart person with a great potential life".

Read the post more carefully.

Nah. He's saying the potential of the friend is no different from the potential of the baby in an anti-abortion rhetoric. Well and good, except for my point.

You read.
Xhiwi
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
49 Posts
September 21 2012 16:30 GMT
#52
Wow. I'm really impressed by all these different opinions.
And everyone of you is right. I talked to her a few minutes after my break and she said that abortion is not an option because she really wants to have this child. And yeah: She really wants to study but I guess she didn't notice that she could not do this with a baby.

For answering some of your questions:
Yeah, she has other friends but they are not that close. Her parents aren't able to help her because they're also working every day. To me it sounds impossible to raise a child. But this is not my problem.
The father is just a random guy who said: "I won't take care of this child."
And yeah, she said "will". It wasn't a question.
-insert kitschy quote here-
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-21 16:46:12
September 21 2012 16:33 GMT
#53
Okay Dfgj let's go over this
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


This.

Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.

If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can



The post he quoted was this:
On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote:
A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort.


His response was "This".

That doesn't sound like anti-abortion rhetoric to me?

That sounds pro-abortion.


Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate.


the first sentence is saying that her friend has a lot of potential. The subject of the sentence is "Your friend", which implies that her friend is the "smart person with a great potential life IN FRONT OF HER". You didn't even READ THE SENTENCE FULLY.


a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her
[/b]

a smart person with a great potential life in front of her
[/b]

Now does that make more sense?

The second sentence says that she shouldn't waste that raising a child.

The third sentence is self-explanatory.

The next sentences are good advice for a friend to counsel another.

Your point is a misinterpretation of the post.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
September 21 2012 16:34 GMT
#54
From the title I thought OP was pregnant, then I realized it was her friend. Didn't conclude she was the husband though so 1/2 isn't bad.

Let's not turn this into a prolife/prochoice debate.
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
OkStyX
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
Canada1199 Posts
September 21 2012 16:44 GMT
#55
That friend of yours is a scared 17 year old girl remember that people, she just wants to feel safe again. The reason she is trying to drag someone with her is because shes frightened . The father wont help her her next line of thinking would be to tell her best friend , but this in no way warrants her behaviour towards you .People make mistakes and from what you describe her as she seems to have self esteem issues and made a mistake now it threatens her life as she knows it and put her future in jeopardy .

My advice is tell her that she needs to make a decision regarding her future , either abort the baby finish school----> career and then kids or Adoption--> finish school---> career. Maybe if she's lucky and has a supportive family her parents can help.

Either way she needs to make a decision and either way she's going to have se baggage for the rest of her life .

P.s. what she asked you to do was a dick move ( really lessens the sympathy I have for her )

P.s.s. Focus on the eggs in your basket first
Team Overklocked Gaming! That man is the noblest creature may be inferred from the fact that no other creature has contested this claim. - G.C. Lichtenberg
Monsen
Profile Joined December 2002
Germany2548 Posts
September 21 2012 16:52 GMT
#56
Someones life will end up being ruined.
Maybe yours, probably your friends almost certainly the babies.
If there's a chance to convince your friend to have a child later in life (i.e. abortion now) you should take it.
11 years and counting- TL #680
LuckyFool
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States9016 Posts
September 21 2012 16:57 GMT
#57
totally read that op from a boyfriends perspective till I saw the first few replies.
babylon
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
8765 Posts
September 21 2012 16:57 GMT
#58
If she's not going to abort, then she should put the kid up for adoption. She can't take care of it, simple as that, esp. without parental support. Give some other couple who actually wants a kid the chance.

(I guess you can technically go and see if the grandparents would be willing to help raise the kid ... depends on how spry they are, ofc ...)

Tell her you have your own life. You'll be there for moral support, but goddamn, you need to focus on your own shit too. If she starts getting angry at you for that, then she's quite frankly a selfish friend.
Elegance
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
Canada917 Posts
September 21 2012 17:18 GMT
#59
If she is keeping, I would suggest you get her to look for community resources on raising a child. Being educated about it is very important if she doesn't want her baby to get fucked up.
Power of Ze
PassiveAce
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States18076 Posts
September 21 2012 17:24 GMT
#60
On September 22 2012 01:30 Xhiwi wrote:
Wow. I'm really impressed by all these different opinions.
And everyone of you is right. I talked to her a few minutes after my break and she said that abortion is not an option because she really wants to have this child. And yeah: She really wants to study but I guess she didn't notice that she could not do this with a baby.

For answering some of your questions:
Yeah, she has other friends but they are not that close. Her parents aren't able to help her because they're also working every day. To me it sounds impossible to raise a child. But this is not my problem.
The father is just a random guy who said: "I won't take care of this child."
And yeah, she said "will". It wasn't a question.

Wow she seems really illusioned;;
just try to explain to her the actual ramifications of having a child without financial support. (and how ridiculously rude it is to just go up to a friend and be like, "hey, im having a baby and your helping me take care of it! isnt that amazing!!!!")
Call me Marge Simpson cuz I love you homie
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