EPT"Hey, I'm pregnant" - Page 3
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U_G_L_Y
United States516 Posts
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Anuzi
192 Posts
You must remember that this is HER choice, not yours, and SHE has to live with the consequences, and not you. If you end up investing a lot of time helping her raise a child that is not yours, you will miss out on the things in life, and you may end up really regretting that later on. You are 18, this is a very important time in your own life, and it is a time that you do not get back. Please think about yourself and your own future first.  | ||
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wwJd)El_Mojjo
Sweden173 Posts
Anyways, I guess sometimes being a friend means you will have to give more than you receive in some cases. If you still want to be a close friend of hers than of course you need to be supportive in such a difficult situation (regardless on how much time you are prepared to give up for her). That being said, are you really the only one she has at the moment? What about her parents? Will they help too maybe? | ||
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bonifaceviii
Canada2890 Posts
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danl9rm
United States3111 Posts
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote: This. Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate. If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can How is this different from the baby? Killing the child isn't the answer. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
On September 21 2012 18:02 Xhiwi wrote: My first reaction wasn't right but I slapped her. She didn't cry, no. It seemed like she's proud. She smiled and said: "Yeah, I'm really pregnant. And you'll help me to raise up my child." Yes, you should be angry with her. Just for that. On September 22 2012 00:19 danl9rm wrote: How is this different from the baby? Killing the child isn't the answer. How can an unborn child 'sound like a smart person with a great potential life'? This isn't even a personhood argument, there's just literally no way to know any attributes at all. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46424 Posts
On September 22 2012 00:19 danl9rm wrote: How is this different from the baby? Killing the child isn't the answer. The pregnant friend doesn't have to abort the fetus. There exists adoption. As in: Hopefully, the baby will have parents who can actually raise him or her in a safe, supportive, and structured environment with parents who are emotionally stable and financially ready for the biggest commitment of all: raising a child. The pregnant seventeen year old girl clearly is not, as shown by her current behavior and mindset. | ||
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Praetorial
United States4241 Posts
On September 22 2012 00:26 Dfgj wrote: Yes, you should be angry with her. Just for that. How can an unborn child 'sound like a smart person with a great potential life'? This isn't even a personhood argument, there's just literally no way to know any attributes at all. Dude.The poster you quoted was referring to her friend, not the potential baby. Her friend is a "smart person with a great potential life". Read the post more carefully. | ||
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CaptainKirk
Canada34 Posts
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tehemperorer
United States2183 Posts
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
On September 22 2012 01:08 Praetorial wrote: Dude.The poster you quoted was referring to her friend, not the potential baby. Her friend is a "smart person with a great potential life". Read the post more carefully. Nah. He's saying the potential of the friend is no different from the potential of the baby in an anti-abortion rhetoric. Well and good, except for my point. You read. | ||
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Xhiwi
49 Posts
And everyone of you is right. I talked to her a few minutes after my break and she said that abortion is not an option because she really wants to have this child. And yeah: She really wants to study but I guess she didn't notice that she could not do this with a baby. For answering some of your questions: Yeah, she has other friends but they are not that close. Her parents aren't able to help her because they're also working every day. To me it sounds impossible to raise a child. But this is not my problem. The father is just a random guy who said: "I won't take care of this child." And yeah, she said "will". It wasn't a question. | ||
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Praetorial
United States4241 Posts
On September 21 2012 20:28 Tyrran wrote: This. Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate. If all of this fails, and she still wants to keep the baby, help her as much as you can The post he quoted was this: On September 21 2012 20:12 Erasme wrote: A baby that soon will ruin her life, you should really tell her to abort. His response was "This". That doesn't sound like anti-abortion rhetoric to me? That sounds pro-abortion. Your friend sounds like a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her. Do not let her put everything on side for raising a child alone as of now. Seing how she came to you, my guess is that the father doesnt want to raise this kid (or maybe she doesnt know who he is). Ask her why she wants to keep it. Tell her this probably means the end of her carier as a mathematician/Physicist. All the people I know that tried to raise a child as student failed to graduate. the first sentence is saying that her friend has a lot of potential. The subject of the sentence is "Your friend", which implies that her friend is the "smart person with a great potential life IN FRONT OF HER". You didn't even READ THE SENTENCE FULLY. a smart person with a great potential life ( math camp every summer ? for real ? ) in front of her a smart person with a great potential life in front of her Now does that make more sense? The second sentence says that she shouldn't waste that raising a child. The third sentence is self-explanatory. The next sentences are good advice for a friend to counsel another. Your point is a misinterpretation of the post. | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
Let's not turn this into a prolife/prochoice debate. | ||
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OkStyX
Canada1199 Posts
My advice is tell her that she needs to make a decision regarding her future , either abort the baby finish school----> career and then kids or Adoption--> finish school---> career. Maybe if she's lucky and has a supportive family her parents can help. Either way she needs to make a decision and either way she's going to have se baggage for the rest of her life . P.s. what she asked you to do was a dick move ( really lessens the sympathy I have for her ) P.s.s. Focus on the eggs in your basket first | ||
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Monsen
Germany2548 Posts
Maybe yours, probably your friends almost certainly the babies. If there's a chance to convince your friend to have a child later in life (i.e. abortion now) you should take it. | ||
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LuckyFool
United States9015 Posts
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babylon
8765 Posts
(I guess you can technically go and see if the grandparents would be willing to help raise the kid ... depends on how spry they are, ofc ...) Tell her you have your own life. You'll be there for moral support, but goddamn, you need to focus on your own shit too. If she starts getting angry at you for that, then she's quite frankly a selfish friend. | ||
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Elegance
Canada917 Posts
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PassiveAce
United States18076 Posts
On September 22 2012 01:30 Xhiwi wrote: Wow. I'm really impressed by all these different opinions. And everyone of you is right. I talked to her a few minutes after my break and she said that abortion is not an option because she really wants to have this child. And yeah: She really wants to study but I guess she didn't notice that she could not do this with a baby. For answering some of your questions: Yeah, she has other friends but they are not that close. Her parents aren't able to help her because they're also working every day. To me it sounds impossible to raise a child. But this is not my problem. The father is just a random guy who said: "I won't take care of this child." And yeah, she said "will". It wasn't a question. Wow she seems really illusioned;; just try to explain to her the actual ramifications of having a child without financial support. (and how ridiculously rude it is to just go up to a friend and be like, "hey, im having a baby and your helping me take care of it! isnt that amazing!!!!") | ||
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