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On July 22 2011 11:53 Dhalphir wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 11:51 travis wrote:On July 22 2011 11:50 Dhalphir wrote: Its really easy to make silly posts like this before you've had sex. You will not question the importance of a healthy and good sex life when you've experienced one.
You cannot have a healthy relationship without good sex. If you are not having sex, what you have is a friendship, and nothing more.
Period. What is unhealthy about friendships? Nothing is unhealthy about a friendship, unless you're trying to pretend it is something more than it is. To be honest, I do not see how sex should essentially be the focal point of a relationship. There are many more aspects than that, and it really shouldn't have to be necessary.
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On July 22 2011 11:51 Tenhou wrote: Do you at least masturbate? I do not need sex to make me happy, I can masturbate! Screw society and peer pressure. This is easier said than done. Can you really say that you give no shits about what anyone thinks of you?
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Well, you can try attempting a zergling rush, but I don't think it's legal.
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United Kingdom16710 Posts
I was raised in a very strict christian family and sex was never ever talked about and just sort of automatically branded as sin/taboo unless it was in a marriage. Even after finally telling my family that I was not a christian, it took a while for me to break free from that particular hold and truly experience what sex is about. For me, while sexual intercourse in itself is a very pleasurable act, it is something you do to truly connect with someone you like/love and express your feelings beyond the obvious means (verbal/other physical communication).
I would not be worried if I were you. 21 is still very young and you have plenty of time to experience sex. My advice to you is this; don't get too get hung up on the fact that you haven't experienced it and wait for the right person to come by. Try not to let it become an insecurity of yours and affect any potential relationships. I promise you that sex with the person you care deeply about is 1000x better than just a casual fling.
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sex is fun. honestly it what makes a good night in to a memorable one. sex just feels really damn good. i urge you to try it. don't worry about not being ready, it's honestly is not a big deal (unless you have morals against that or something) and you'll suck the first time no matter what guaranteed! might as well get it out of the way so you can learn the moves and have some fun like everyone else!
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was thinking of trying with some beastiality in it...
with some eels...
is that ok
User was warned for this post
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On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote: I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser." Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit: I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2: I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly. I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society. This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of you have to have a 32C boobs and have slim slender body else you are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think) etc...
understand now?
American society is deeply misogynistic and hence they enjoy claiming the domination of women through sex and other means as medals of pride and masculinity.
It's not that virgins are shunned because they haven't had sex (if you really wanted sex you could just pay a hooker for a one night stand--but people will look down on you for that) the reason virgins are shunned is because they haven't dominated a woman. A male who has a girlfriend that he has sex with regularly is considered pussy-whipped if he is accommodating and on equal terms with the woman and hence he is equally shunned as the virgin.
So to answer your question, it is not the sex that matters--it is the misogyny that matters to society.
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Doesn't matter, when the right time comes, you'll know. And to be honest, isn't peer pressure on having sex something done mostly in high school?
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Sex is exactly what you make of it.
I love sex, but I've been blessed with excellent partners who have the same lust that I do. I could go without it, but it's nice to have.
If you don't think sex is awesome or necessary, that's fine. it is your opinion, and I appreciate it just the same.
I have seen extremely healthy relationships without sex, and very poor relationships with it. I have seen vice versa. It is always your decision.
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Often, people who vocally make a big deal about sex are insecure about it in some way, so take some comfort in that. That said, sex is our evolutionary purpose. By not having sex when you're an adult, you set yourself against the norm. In that sense, your "avg-dimwitted tool" might call you a loser for the same reason he called that kid who carried a briefcase to high school a loser... just because you're perceived as different.
Dim-witted tool aside, what do you want? If you're legitimately not ready for sex, that's your choice, and fuck what anyone else thinks about it (and if you're insecure... don't tell them about it). If you want to get laid, put some effort into your appearance and go be social. Sex happens from there, almost like we're programmed to do it. Oh wait... we are. Either way, I'm sure it's haunting your thoughts now, so this is going to suck for you, but the solution to your problem lies in honestly not caring.
To answer the title, sex isn't OP, sex is the game. Women are OP.
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On July 22 2011 11:57 lorkac wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote: I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser." Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit: I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2: I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly. I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society. This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of you have to have a 32C boobs and have slim slender body else you are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think) etc...
understand now? American society is deeply misogynistic and hence they enjoy claiming the domination of women through sex and other means as medals of pride and masculinity. It's not that virgins are shunned because they haven't had sex (if you really wanted sex you could just pay a hooker for a one night stand--but people will look down on you for that) the reason virgins are shunned is because they haven't dominated a woman. A male who has a girlfriend that he has sex with regularly is considered pussy-whipped if he is accommodating and on equal terms with the woman and hence he is equally shunned as the virgin. So to answer your question, it is not the sex that matters--it is the misogyny that matters to society. This is a response I am looking for...
for the love of god people I.do.not.care about me being a virgin. I don't.... for now...
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On July 22 2011 11:50 Dhalphir wrote: Its really easy to make silly posts like this before you've had sex. You will not question the importance of a healthy and good sex life when you've experienced one.
You cannot have a healthy relationship without good sex. If you are not having sex, what you have is a friendship, and nothing more.
Period.
If you cant have a relationship based on more that just a purely physical aspect, then any relationship will lack fulfillment. You need to have an emotional connection and then afterwards is when you should decide whether or not to have sex. Theres more to relationships than having sex, and not having sex does not automatically mean friendship.
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The only reason why you might be embarrassed about it is if you're insecure about it. My friend is abstaining until marriage and it's not a big deal, although she's had some boyfriends be douches about it.
All told, the only people who place such huge emphasis on it are the media, and people whose only source of information is the media -- and they're idiots.
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On July 22 2011 11:54 garlicface wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 11:47 mprs wrote: The only respectful stance on this issue is the one that you come up with yourself.
Nicely said. And was I the only one who came into this thread thinking sex was overpowered? rofl.
My thoughts exactly, in regards to both of those quotes lol i was like, hmm nerf sex? and hmm sex is whatever you make of it, sometimes good, sometimes bad, in the end, we all end up the same.
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i think of it this way: Society says no to it. Peer Pressure says yes to it. All (most) Parents say Wait. Most Kids say Hurry. Its pure choice, which i have chosen to have the (balls) (no pun intended XDXDXD) to remain a virgin. But again its choice.
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On July 22 2011 11:58 FroZen(-_-) wrote: i think of it this way: Society says no to it. Peer Pressure says yes to it. All (most) Parents say Wait. Most Kids say Hurry. Its pure choice, which i have chosen to have the (balls) (no pun intended XDXDXD) to remain a virgin. But again its choice.
This is pretty similar to my posting. Cool beans! haha
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On July 22 2011 11:42 ClysmiC wrote:I've always had the following view on sex: Save it till you meet your wife and it will be a million times more satisfying than it would be just hooking up with some random girls. Show nested quote +The only other option is you are super religious and haven't ever seen a beautiful women Or he has been tempted just like everyone else, but has the self-control to make the smarter choice.
Smarter choice? Wow, that's some judgment right there.
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Why put it on a pedestal, is my question. It's just sex, guys.
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On July 22 2011 11:58 FroZen(-_-) wrote: i think of it this way: Society says no to it. Peer Pressure says yes to it. All (most) Parents say Wait. Most Kids say Hurry. Its pure choice, which i have chosen to have the (balls) (no pun intended XDXDXD) to remain a virgin. But again its choice.
Sex is easy, relationships are hard.
Adults tell you to "wait" because they know how hard relationships are and don't want kids to have to deal with that.
Kids say "do it" because they still haven't grasped that relationships are more than just bodies bumping and grinding.
However, the "societical pressure" that people *must* have sex is deeply rooted in misogyny.
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