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More like a support group.
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On July 22 2011 12:18 zimz wrote:
if your a straight person, of course you want sex with hot women, don't act like your better than having sex with a hot women when opportunity arise. sex is the continuation of a species. sex is important, unless you want your family tree to stop, which your ancestors would hate. the point of this thread sound like a whine of frustrated virgin/s.
For the record, my ancestors are dead.
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On July 22 2011 12:13 tednoob wrote:
I'm 23 years old and still a virgin, but that does not bother me.
What does bother me is that I have never connected on a deeper emotional level to any girl. I have loved, but never been loved. That kind of sucks.
no fun is it  .
i agree that sex is far too casualized and overemphasized. idk to me i've just always wanted to just have sex with those that are really important to me. i could go find some random girl and sleep with her yeah, but that just doesnt appeal to me. that feeling goes away. if theres an emotional connection to it though, then the sex enhances that and makes the relationship more special to me. i also think its stupid that people get made fun of for being virgins. there's absolutely nothing wrong with that
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A lottttttt of denial in this thread.
Nothing wrong with being a virgin; I won't hate on you and I feel bad that you have to put up with so many idiots out there, but they're idiots for judging you like that, not for being socially and sexually active.
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My view is that as soon as you have a regular supply of sex (ie. girlfriend, f-buddy, etc.) you think about it way less. It's the people who have long periods between having sex who actually place so much emphasis on it.
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On July 22 2011 12:15 pedrotrv wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 12:07 obesechicken13 wrote:On July 22 2011 11:57 lorkac wrote:On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser."
Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit:
I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2:
I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly.
I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society.
This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of you have to have a 32C boobs and have slim slender body else you are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think)
etc...
understand now? American society is deeply misogynistic and hence they enjoy claiming the domination of women through sex and other means as medals of pride and masculinity. It's not that virgins are shunned because they haven't had sex (if you really wanted sex you could just pay a hooker for a one night stand--but people will look down on you for that) the reason virgins are shunned is because they haven't dominated a woman. A male who has a girlfriend that he has sex with regularly is considered pussy-whipped if he is accommodating and on equal terms with the woman and hence he is equally shunned as the virgin. So to answer your question, it is not the sex that matters--it is the misogyny that matters to society. A good point. I can't think of any counterarguments. Just in response to some of the derogatory comments, OP are you religious? I'd like to add an opinion to this thread. Perhaps we've all been taking love to be something that it's not. Love is portrayed as something magical, when it's really just hormones and biological instinct trying to get you to reproduce and raise viable offspring. Love, and sex are just biological processes. They're kinda like eating or shitting. In this line of thought, one should recognize that it's easy to fall in "love" with any girl that comes up to you, but to maximize overall happiness, in life, (and I'm not certain about this) it would be best to find a partner similar to oneself to spend time with. Hold out on finding the right person. TL:DR, it's rational to just go after girls you like and not try to maximize sex. I have a completely different point of view about this subject. Feminism is ruling everything now and any commentary/action disagreeing with women is considered misogynistic, when the truth is it's all the feminism fault. Contraceptive methods are the ultimate liberation of the women's sexuality and we can see it in today's society. Sex was always a big deal for man (c'mon, if you don't think highly of sex, do it, get the hang of it and enjoy it) but it's now one of the center points of female liberty. That's why sex is sooooo overrated and we're seeing increases in teen pregnancy, low age sex and stuff like that. I's sry if my point is not clear, english is not my first language.
Sex is a really big deal for women. And yes, they do want it just as much as men do.
When I say that America is misogynistic about sex I don't mean in the amount of sex they have (or don't have). What I was trying to point out is that in America, it's not the act of having sex that is praised but is instead the domination of women that is praised.
When a woman has sex with a lot of men, she's called a slut.
When a man has sex with a lot of women, he's praised for his pursuits.
When a woman does not have sex with men, she's called cold hearted and lifeless
When a man does not have sex with women, he's called a failure.
The amount of sex is not what makes it misogynistic. It is about how that pursuit of sex is comprehended in society as a whole. What I was trying to inform the OP was that the reason he is being pressured into having sex is because society wants for him to dominate a woman.
There is nothing wrong with promoting a sex filled environment. The act of having sex is perfectly normal and acceptable. The problem comes when we place value and judgement on those who pursue/don't pursue it that is inherently misogynistic.
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I think it's the idea that sexual intercourse is indicative of a certain degree of social and physical worth, and that those who don't have sex are likely lacking in either or both aspects. Does not having sex make you a loser? Well, valuation is subjective, so it all depends on how you define success and self worth.
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TBH I have been in a steady relationship for years, have sex everyday, and I agree that it is 110% overrated. If we're going to be real, the girls always look better in porn and "doing it yourself" will always be more satisfying. It's the emotional connection that comes with sex that makes it important. It goes unsaid, but the funny thing about sex is that there is ANOTHER FUCKING PERSON THERE and they see you naked... its a very vulnerable experience that can make a strong bond between two ppl.
but some nights even I "have a headache" lol, you aren't weird
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On July 22 2011 12:09 heroyi wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 12:07 obesechicken13 wrote:On July 22 2011 11:57 lorkac wrote:On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser."
Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit:
I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2:
I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly.
I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society.
This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of you have to have a 32C boobs and have slim slender body else you are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think)
etc...
understand now? American society is deeply misogynistic and hence they enjoy claiming the domination of women through sex and other means as medals of pride and masculinity. It's not that virgins are shunned because they haven't had sex (if you really wanted sex you could just pay a hooker for a one night stand--but people will look down on you for that) the reason virgins are shunned is because they haven't dominated a woman. A male who has a girlfriend that he has sex with regularly is considered pussy-whipped if he is accommodating and on equal terms with the woman and hence he is equally shunned as the virgin. So to answer your question, it is not the sex that matters--it is the misogyny that matters to society. Just in response to some of the derogatory comments, OP are you religious? . read the very first post. very first post first post
I came into this thread before your edits. If you'll look at my previous comment on page 2 I can prove it with the timestamp. People seem to be calling me out on it :/
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Having sex is easier than getting a job, you just have to be comfortable with yourself and realize that women are more insecure in general so as long as you exude confidence you can sleep with one of them. Tbh you are in university years when many people do one night stands it's really common, so I recommend just going to a lot of on campus parties and meeting people. I recommend watching "Keys to the VIP" just youtube it , hilarious show.
Also remember that it doesn't matter how many times you strike out, just keep on swinging. Babe Ruth holds the record of home runs, he also holds the record in strike outs. Nobody remembers the strike outs.
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Don't worry about it. While you might feel that people will judge you for still being a virgin most people don't have sex until their early 20s, and it's not like anyone else could ever know exactly whether or not you've had sex.
I wouldn't worry about being bad at it when the time comes around either, as most guys in their 20's are terrible at sex, and most girls in their 20s are terrible at sex as well. Most people just don't have the experience to tell.
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On July 22 2011 11:42 Torenhire wrote:
I think, ultimately, those who are like "oh you're a virgin, what a loser" are of the thought process that, because you haven't had sex, it's because you can't. Not because you don't want to.
This is the truth.
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I waited till 21. It just took that long to have serious enough relationship.
I have friends that waited later for the same reason.
What I will say is do not expect th
e woman of your dreams to be a virgin.
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It doesn't matter whether or not you are a virgin. If you have adequate social skills and are not irrationally intimidated by women you will not be handicapped in life by this..
The more important question is have you been in intimate, healthy relationships with women (independent of sex [obviously {sry ^^}])?
When you have sex for the first time you don't suddenly transform into something else. That is just ridiculous, and if you believe any of it for a minute you are just further augmenting this silly idea you have about virginity--by that I mean your inclination to make a thread about it. Really, do not sweat it. When it happens, it will happen. Sure, on forums or when you are chilling around a bonfire with a bunch of doods people will talk about the idea of sexual prowess. But you and the girl that you have sex with are the only ones that have any business with your sexuality and you can say w/e you want at said bonfire.
gl hf
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On July 22 2011 12:23 lorkac wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 12:15 pedrotrv wrote:On July 22 2011 12:07 obesechicken13 wrote:On July 22 2011 11:57 lorkac wrote:On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser."
Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit:
I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2:
I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly.
I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society.
This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of you have to have a 32C boobs and have slim slender body else you are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think)
etc...
understand now? American society is deeply misogynistic and hence they enjoy claiming the domination of women through sex and other means as medals of pride and masculinity. It's not that virgins are shunned because they haven't had sex (if you really wanted sex you could just pay a hooker for a one night stand--but people will look down on you for that) the reason virgins are shunned is because they haven't dominated a woman. A male who has a girlfriend that he has sex with regularly is considered pussy-whipped if he is accommodating and on equal terms with the woman and hence he is equally shunned as the virgin. So to answer your question, it is not the sex that matters--it is the misogyny that matters to society. A good point. I can't think of any counterarguments. Just in response to some of the derogatory comments, OP are you religious? I'd like to add an opinion to this thread. Perhaps we've all been taking love to be something that it's not. Love is portrayed as something magical, when it's really just hormones and biological instinct trying to get you to reproduce and raise viable offspring. Love, and sex are just biological processes. They're kinda like eating or shitting. In this line of thought, one should recognize that it's easy to fall in "love" with any girl that comes up to you, but to maximize overall happiness, in life, (and I'm not certain about this) it would be best to find a partner similar to oneself to spend time with. Hold out on finding the right person. TL:DR, it's rational to just go after girls you like and not try to maximize sex. I have a completely different point of view about this subject. Feminism is ruling everything now and any commentary/action disagreeing with women is considered misogynistic, when the truth is it's all the feminism fault. Contraceptive methods are the ultimate liberation of the women's sexuality and we can see it in today's society. Sex was always a big deal for man (c'mon, if you don't think highly of sex, do it, get the hang of it and enjoy it) but it's now one of the center points of female liberty. That's why sex is sooooo overrated and we're seeing increases in teen pregnancy, low age sex and stuff like that. I's sry if my point is not clear, english is not my first language. Sex is a really big deal for women. And yes, they do want it just as much as men do.When I say that America is misogynistic about sex I don't mean in the amount of sex they have (or don't have). What I was trying to point out is that in America, it's not the act of having sex that is praised but is instead the domination of women that is praised. When a woman has sex with a lot of men, she's called a slut. When a man has sex with a lot of women, he's praised for his pursuits. When a woman does not have sex with men, she's called cold hearted and lifeless When a man does not have sex with women, he's called a failure. The amount of sex is not what makes it misogynistic. It is about how that pursuit of sex is comprehended in society as a whole. What I was trying to inform the OP was that the reason he is being pressured into having sex is because society wants for him to dominate a woman. There is nothing wrong with promoting a sex filled environment. The act of having sex is perfectly normal and acceptable. The problem comes when we place value and judgement on those who pursue/don't pursue it that is inherently misogynistic.
That is blatantly not true. Sex is very different for women than it is for men, which is why it seems there is a double-standard. For example, the very first search result for something like this yields this page:
http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare
webmd is relatively reputable so this information has some authenticity to it, at the very least.
This makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint as well. I really don't see how you can argue that male sexuality is the same as female sexuality.
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I can tell you from experience, sex is a lot more work than they tell you up front! I mean, those teen comedies and whatnot... They make it all look so wacky and fun and whatnot.
It's a lot of work! Is it better than masturbation? Probably...
But is the ROI there? I'm not sure...
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On July 22 2011 12:23 KimJongChill wrote:
I think it's the idea that sexual intercourse is indicative of a certain degree of social and physical worth, and that those who don't have sex are likely lacking in either or both aspects. Does not having sex make you a loser? Well, valuation is subjective, so it all depends on how you define success and self worth.
Not having sex defines you as a failure as a male of your species. We can't fight biology. I don't think valuation is that subjective in this topic, because we are born to do it, and we all want to do it. This is my view.
I don't defend that pussy should be pursued before everything else, but it's pretty important stuff for a guy.
---
This topic is kinda meh. I defend masculinism (anti-feminism) points of view and all I can see here are a lot of opinions that make me sad. C'mon guys, we are men, natural born hunters!!
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On July 22 2011 11:56 Telcontar wrote:
I promise you that sex with the person you care deeply about is 1000x better than just a casual fling.
I completely agree. I am still a virgin at age 20. I am religious person but my beliefs about sex are different. I personally feel that you don't have to wait till you're married. I feel that as long as you are doing it with someone that you care about It's perfectly fine. I work at a restaurant where i get hassled about my virginity quite a lot by some people. It's not that I'm some hideous being or that I'm scared, but more of the fact that i don't want to have "Flings." It just doesn't feel right to me. If i really wanted to i know plenty of women who i could easily talk into it, but that's just not me. No matter how much i get hassled about it i just joke about it and move on. What everyone says about it i just ignore. Wait for that special someone and keep doing what you're doing. Don't let it get to you. And what Telcontar said is probably 100% correct.
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On July 22 2011 12:35 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 12:23 lorkac wrote:On July 22 2011 12:15 pedrotrv wrote:On July 22 2011 12:07 obesechicken13 wrote:On July 22 2011 11:57 lorkac wrote:On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser."
Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit:
I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2:
I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly.
I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society.
This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of you have to have a 32C boobs and have slim slender body else you are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think)
etc...
understand now? American society is deeply misogynistic and hence they enjoy claiming the domination of women through sex and other means as medals of pride and masculinity. It's not that virgins are shunned because they haven't had sex (if you really wanted sex you could just pay a hooker for a one night stand--but people will look down on you for that) the reason virgins are shunned is because they haven't dominated a woman. A male who has a girlfriend that he has sex with regularly is considered pussy-whipped if he is accommodating and on equal terms with the woman and hence he is equally shunned as the virgin. So to answer your question, it is not the sex that matters--it is the misogyny that matters to society. A good point. I can't think of any counterarguments. Just in response to some of the derogatory comments, OP are you religious? I'd like to add an opinion to this thread. Perhaps we've all been taking love to be something that it's not. Love is portrayed as something magical, when it's really just hormones and biological instinct trying to get you to reproduce and raise viable offspring. Love, and sex are just biological processes. They're kinda like eating or shitting. In this line of thought, one should recognize that it's easy to fall in "love" with any girl that comes up to you, but to maximize overall happiness, in life, (and I'm not certain about this) it would be best to find a partner similar to oneself to spend time with. Hold out on finding the right person. TL:DR, it's rational to just go after girls you like and not try to maximize sex. I have a completely different point of view about this subject. Feminism is ruling everything now and any commentary/action disagreeing with women is considered misogynistic, when the truth is it's all the feminism fault. Contraceptive methods are the ultimate liberation of the women's sexuality and we can see it in today's society. Sex was always a big deal for man (c'mon, if you don't think highly of sex, do it, get the hang of it and enjoy it) but it's now one of the center points of female liberty. That's why sex is sooooo overrated and we're seeing increases in teen pregnancy, low age sex and stuff like that. I's sry if my point is not clear, english is not my first language. Sex is a really big deal for women. And yes, they do want it just as much as men do.When I say that America is misogynistic about sex I don't mean in the amount of sex they have (or don't have). What I was trying to point out is that in America, it's not the act of having sex that is praised but is instead the domination of women that is praised. When a woman has sex with a lot of men, she's called a slut. When a man has sex with a lot of women, he's praised for his pursuits. When a woman does not have sex with men, she's called cold hearted and lifeless When a man does not have sex with women, he's called a failure. The amount of sex is not what makes it misogynistic. It is about how that pursuit of sex is comprehended in society as a whole. What I was trying to inform the OP was that the reason he is being pressured into having sex is because society wants for him to dominate a woman. There is nothing wrong with promoting a sex filled environment. The act of having sex is perfectly normal and acceptable. The problem comes when we place value and judgement on those who pursue/don't pursue it that is inherently misogynistic. That is blatantly not true. Sex is very different for women than it is for men, which is why it seems there is a double-standard. For example, the very first search result for something like this yields this page: http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-comparewebmd is relatively reputable so this information has some authenticity to it, at the very least. This makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint as well. I really don't see how you can argue that male sexuality is the same as female sexuality.
And to strengthen you point, we can talk about female hypergamy, while men want to have sex with any pussy out there. Good read.
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I never wanted to have sex honestly. Never trusted a girl enough with that sort of thing, emotionally or responsibly. Had sex with 2 different girls this past year though. Not a huge deal either way. It's personal and between the two of you. Doesn't change you as a person and it's not a rite of passage. Don't put too much weight on it
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EPT
