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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On May 13 2018 03:11 sc-darkness wrote: Do you order her to make you a sandwich?  + Show Spoiler + Just a joke. I don't approve of this previous century thinking. She cooks while I provide assistance. It's her expertice domain. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
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GreenHorizons
United States23535 Posts
On May 13 2018 06:46 L_Master wrote: I got asked once or twice on POF recently with newer pics if I was real. Added my IG handle, results have been...pretty suprising. Almost out of hand. Seems like there is much less inhibition slipping in the DMs of insta than there is messaging on the apps themselves. Friend:"Where did you meet?" Girl: "oh we exchanged dm's on instagram" Friend: "Show me his insta" Vs Friend:"Where did you meet?" Girl: "On tinder" Friend: "Eww, you're such a thirsty slut hahaha" BTW, not saying that about the women on Tinder, but other women do all the time. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On May 13 2018 07:18 GreenHorizons wrote: Friend:"Where did you meet?" Girl: "oh we exchanged dm's on instagram" Friend: "Show me his insta" Vs Friend:"Where did you meet?" Girl: "On tinder" Friend: "Eww, you're such a thirsty slut hahaha" BTW, not saying that about the women on Tinder, but other women do all the time. Hmm yea I could see that...it's not like they have to show their DMs to their friend either so I guess it gives them the chance to play down the thirsty aspect. Cause of these messages have been extremely thirsty. Which, I have to admit, I think is funny we still worry about so much. Most people are pretty damn thirsty, especially in the right circumstances...everyone kinda knows it...yet it's so common for (girls especially) to get shit about it. 🤣🤣 | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
2. Why are so many suggesting that Husnan should be lying about why he doesn't want to see her? You obviously don't need to tell her "you're fat and you're ugly". But a "Sorry, but I'm not feeling it." should suffice, if she wants an explanation, you give her one. I bet you 100 bucks she will see right through your lies anyway. 3. Debating feminazi stuff will unfortunately not cut it if you want to diss her.  The girl I saw backpeddled hard and we have seen each other since, and will probably continue to see each other. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On May 14 2018 01:56 bloodwhore~ wrote: 1. L_Master, your haircut is good! Your pictures you have posted here are all terrible for Tinder though (not sure if you use them for tinder though). Which ones? Are you including the two I posted here: LMaster Pics? If so, I have had some very, very good luck with those pics recently. Along with one or two other "fun" pics showing off a few activities I like to do. I'm sure I can do better, but for now what I have is definitely working well. I would certainly be open to suggestions about what you think could improve...because it can always get better. EDIT: This is the other pic I'm using in addition to the above two: ![[image loading]](https://i.imgur.com/wo3fCyY.jpg) This one obviously could be better since it's an obvious selfie, but overall I look decent in it. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Well I don't doubt that you're doing fine on Tinder, you're an attractive guy, and I assume girls do look past the bad photos. But you can do WAY better if you put some effort in them. The pics I've seen so far have all been selfies or very cut off in terms of how much of you is actually visible, low quality (as in resolution or just it looks like its taken with a cell phone camera from 2006), not smiling using teeth, odd surroundings, mostly indoors. You should EASILY be able to rack up at least like 10x more matches if you change just one or two of the aspects I just mentioned. Of course, if you don't feel like you need it there is no need. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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Emnjay808
United States10664 Posts
1. Showing off ur body 2. Making money 3. Doing outgoing things | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On May 14 2018 05:12 bloodwhore~ wrote: Yes exactly. Well I don't doubt that you're doing fine on Tinder, you're an attractive guy, and I assume girls do look past the bad photos. But you can do WAY better if you put some effort in them. The pics I've seen so far have all been selfies or very cut off in terms of how much of you is actually visible, low quality (as in resolution or just it looks like its taken with a cell phone camera from 2006), not smiling using teeth, odd surroundings, mostly indoors. You should EASILY be able to rack up at least like 10x more matches if you change just one or two of the aspects I just mentioned. Of course, if you don't feel like you need it there is no need. o.O That would be utterly ridiculous haha! I'm already getting double digit matches each swipe period, so this would imply almost every single swipe being successful! But, advice does seem solid, and you're absolutely right I could have better photos. I'll have to finish leaning out here over the next couple months and take a few good shots with a friend that has a proper camera and see what the results are. On May 14 2018 07:53 Emnjay808 wrote: You need a photo of u: 1. Showing off ur body 2. Making money 3. Doing outgoing things 1 is in progress, need to get back to 9-10% and then I should be able to do that pretty easy at a pool/beach setting. Should help. 2 ain't happening, because I don't make any and don't want to put off a false impression. Tbh, I'd prefer to avoid that, so that I can be assured interest in me is due only to looks and whatever personality comes through. People into you for money are such a turn off to me. 3 I have things of me doing activities, but not as much with friends. It's tricky because at 5'8" it's really easy for me to come out looking wayyy short, considering most of my friends are 6'+. Will have to look for the right opportunity or maybe just get my friends to help me stage something. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10664 Posts
number 3. doesnt have to be just "going out". you can knock out numbers 1 and 3 with a beach pic (ur bod pic), thats all you need. generally for me i'd have me hiking or taking my dog for a walk. that said, ur an attractive dude, Lmaster. if i were u id just find my confidence and stop treating dating like its an enigma. | ||
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
On May 14 2018 08:44 Emnjay808 wrote: at the the least they would like to have a piece of mind that the person they are dating are making more than them. And.. welcome to the 20th century. :D | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
On May 14 2018 07:53 Emnjay808 wrote: You need a photo of u: 2. Making money Kinda curious what exactly you were thinking this is supposed to be. Flashing hundred dollar bills, gangsta style? Standing next to a fancy car? Holding a pay stub? | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10664 Posts
Im talking like pics of you at work or in a business suit or medical scrubs. Something that shows a professional side of you. I know when I look at girl's tinder I dont wanna just see pics of them half naked and going out/drinking. Seeing a well-balanced lifestyle that theyre open to share about is very attractive to me and great for ice breaking. | ||
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SoSexy
Italy3725 Posts
Any experience in approaching SUPER shy/chaste girls? There's this girl I like in my town, which I met several years ago at a friend's party. No real contact, just small talk but she was a master at shutting down guys. She was virgin at around 22-23 and now (26-27) I wouldn't bet my money against it. Also, her parents are very, very religious and she attended all those catholic youth associations. Yesterday I went to a musical with a friend of mine, because his sister was starring and, to my surprise, the girl was acting too. At the end, when everyone was caught in the excitement of the post-show, I went to her and said something like hey what a surprise, I came here to see the sister but it was nice to see you too, didnt expect such a great performance blabla. She was pleased. The problem is how to behave now. Online contact really seems way too easy for her to ghost and it's not a girl who goes out with my group of friends. This means that meeting her at a bar in town is pure luck (happened once in the last 6 months) No jokes on my name, this isn't about sex. I am genuinely interested. | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
The religious aspect is worth emphasizing, though. IME unless you're into the same, it's always a bigger deal than you hope it'd be. Nothing you can do about it and it really, really sucks sometimes. | ||
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SoSexy
Italy3725 Posts
Or better, I play this Saturday at a place in our town that she likes - I might aswell strike the iron while it's hot and tell her 'hey, it was cool seeing you the other day, this saturday I'm playing blabla, let's have a chat in case you'll be there' | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On May 14 2018 15:56 SoSexy wrote: Coming to this thread is my dose of fun nowadays. Much like asking an undertaker how to save a patient. But here we go... Any experience in approaching SUPER shy/chaste girls? There's this girl I like in my town, which I met several years ago at a friend's party. No real contact, just small talk but she was a master at shutting down guys. She was virgin at around 22-23 and now (26-27) I wouldn't bet my money against it. Also, her parents are very, very religious and she attended all those catholic youth associations. Yesterday I went to a musical with a friend of mine, because his sister was starring and, to my surprise, the girl was acting too. At the end, when everyone was caught in the excitement of the post-show, I went to her and said something like hey what a surprise, I came here to see the sister but it was nice to see you too, didnt expect such a great performance blabla. She was pleased. The problem is how to behave now. Online contact really seems way too easy for her to ghost and it's not a girl who goes out with my group of friends. This means that meeting her at a bar in town is pure luck (happened once in the last 6 months) No jokes on my name, this isn't about sex. I am genuinely interested. Dude, you are practically got a date already. I personally don't think the way you ask her matters that much. If you want to be old school I guess you will have to find her in real, otherwise just shoot her a message that you'd love to take her out/meet her. I wouldn't wait too long though. I don't get it, why do you think she would ghost? If she ghosts you it only means she is not interested. Then you move on. There is nothing bad with ghosting other than that it sucks more to be ghosted than to be told she is not interested. Don't you usually give advice to others in here? If someone wrote what you wrote here, what would you tell them? Pretty sure you would say that they should just send a message. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On May 14 2018 08:21 L_Master wrote: o.O That would be utterly ridiculous haha! I'm already getting double digit matches each swipe period, so this would imply almost every single swipe being successful! But, advice does seem solid, and you're absolutely right I could have better photos. I'll have to finish leaning out here over the next couple months and take a few good shots with a friend that has a proper camera and see what the results are. Well I'm just throwing out what I think would happen if someone with your pictures lived where I live. There are so many extremely attractive people where I live which also take great photos, it's hard to compete. But tinder differs a lot based on locations so it could very well be that your competition isn't as high where you live. I noticed this a lot when I moved from my student city to the capital. | ||
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SoSexy
Italy3725 Posts
On May 14 2018 16:56 bloodwhore~ wrote: Dude, you are practically got a date already. I personally don't think the way you ask her matters that much. If you want to be old school I guess you will have to find her in real, otherwise just shoot her a message that you'd love to take her out/meet her. I wouldn't wait too long though. I don't get it, why do you think she would ghost? If she ghosts you it only means she is not interested. Then you move on. There is nothing bad with ghosting other than that it sucks more to be ghosted than to be told she is not interested. Don't you usually give advice to others in here? If someone wrote what you wrote here, what would you tell them? Pretty sure you would say that they should just send a message. Hmm a bit too optimistic. Normally you are right - but this girl throws me off balance. I can't read her. Also, I have fun posting here  | ||
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