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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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brian
United States9641 Posts
On May 24 2017 01:13 IgnE wrote: guys who haven't slept with very many women feel insecure. it's always the guy with 2-4 lifetime partners talking about how that woman who slept with more is a slut. swish. hitting the nail on the head here. bravo on cutting right to the chase there. | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
On May 24 2017 00:44 Ektor Baboden wrote: I actually never understood where this comes from: what is it that bothers people, if their partner had many sexual partners in the past? Surely if guys like casual sex, girls must like it as well? How would guys find casual sex partners if girls avoided it completely (and vice versa)? I guess I just don't understand  For me personally I just don't think highly of casual sex. To each their preferences of course but I don't think it's a good thing. That goes for both males and females. But of course the stigma is stronger for females. | ||
ZeromuS
Canada13407 Posts
On May 24 2017 01:24 LegalLord wrote: For me personally I just don't think highly of casual sex. To each their preferences of course but I don't think it's a good thing. That goes for both males and females. But of course the stigma is stronger for females. I think, if you don't engage in casual sex, then it makes sense if you prefer to have a partner who also does not. I'm the same way. Though I've been in a committed relationship for almost 10 years since I was 18. So I guess its a bit different for me  | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On May 24 2017 01:20 brian wrote: swish. hitting the nail on the head here. bravo on cutting right to the chase there. Yeah, let's begin insulting people who disagree with my style of life. Surely if they care about sexual partner count it's because they are insecure. I personally do not like female promiscuity because it's a proxy for a lot of other thing I STRONGLY oppose in a partner, such as heavy regular drinking, drugs, general irresponsability, lack of bonding/commitment, etc. (generally, there are always exceptions). I'm not a fan of those things on men either, alas I'm straight so it doesn't matter in any way? | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32135 Posts
On May 23 2017 11:19 GoTuNk! wrote: I think woman and men are different, if a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys she is a hoe to me and I don't want her for anything serious. Sorry, I'm a bigot. | ||
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brian
United States9641 Posts
On May 24 2017 03:51 GoTuNk! wrote: Yeah, let's begin insulting people who disagree with my style of life. Surely if they care about sexual partner count it's because they are insecure. I personally do not like female promiscuity because it's a proxy for a lot of other thing I STRONGLY oppose in a partner, such as heavy regular drinking, drugs, general irresponsability, lack of bonding/commitment, etc. (generally, there are always exceptions). I'm not a fan of those things on men either, alas I'm straight so it doesn't matter in any way? goalpost shifting as shown by hawk claiming having multiple sexual partners as a proxy for general irresponsibility is so horribly ridiculous as to not even warrant reply. you may have your opinion that a woman you are interested in would have fewer sexual partners. to each their own. to try to equate everything you did in your post is crap. to say you're not a fan of people with higher sexual partners is cool. to say you aren't a big drinker is cool. to say a promiscuous woman is a hoe who probably drinks to much and does drugs is just indefensible. but apparently this discussion has been had and should be avoided as per this weirdly long mod note. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
It's all about hormones, body chemistry some women just enjoy sex more why'd that have to go with all the other bad stuff | ||
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Dark_Chill
Canada3353 Posts
Even this isn't always true, anything else is rooted in so many different personality variables that saying one thing will imply several others is kinda ridiculous. Maybe there's a weak correlation, but typically people don't use weak correlations for general purposes. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
On May 24 2017 00:38 B.I.G. wrote: Obviously there is difference in physique but I do like to think equality is possible in things like this. Warsame gave some evolutionary and market based rationalizations, but in the end I feel they are nothing more than that. Just rationalizations. Yeah, the post was just supposed to be rationalizations. I don't even agree with the things I said, but those views do exist for a reason, and I think it is important to give them a fair treatment. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
We'll see if I will get more active on here once I have move back, the capital of Sweden has more girls :D. Really feel like I want something a bit long lasting now. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
Personally I'm fine with it because I think most of us enjoy attention from the gender of their interest no matter how happy you are in a relationship. But sometimes I think I might be a bit too easy going. As a friend of mine said "why does she need attention from other men if she has you?" | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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NewSunshine
United States5938 Posts
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
I know a fair few women like that. They tend to do... interesting things when they feel that people aren't paying enough attention to them. It gets really tiresome really fast to have to consistently shower them with the amount of attention they want, lest they feel unloved and act accordingly. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
I also suspect that many times girls have a "girls' night out" this is exactly what they want to do. Unfortunaly many women seem to base a lot of their self esteem on male attention. Yes I know that sounds mysogonistic. | ||
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Dark_Chill
Canada3353 Posts
On June 03 2017 14:24 B.I.G. wrote: Well yeah I agree that if she would be super needy for attention all the time it would be a less than charming trait. If she enjoys going out like this once or twice a month that's fine for me. I also suspect that many times girls have a "girls' night out" this is exactly what they want to do. Unfortunaly many women seem to base a lot of their self esteem on male attention. Yes I know that sounds mysogonistic. Is it misogynistic if it's true for all sexes? | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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MoonfireSpam
United Kingdom1153 Posts
On June 04 2017 15:35 IgnE wrote: Maybe if you guys got attention from the opposite sex you would understand? Meh not really sure I've ever been regretful that I'm unable walk into the room and automatically make every woman within 100 yards wet just by standing there, there is a point where it stops being "we're having fun throwing shapes and looking good" and becomes narcissitic and offputting / "the bad kind of crazy". But to each their own. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On June 04 2017 15:35 IgnE wrote: Maybe if you guys got attention from the opposite sex you would understand? Why do any of us seek new connections? I believe B.I.Gs question was more about actively seeking attention than just getting it as a sideeffect of what you are already doing. In which case you can propably draw some conclusions that range from perceiving the person as needy of attention/confirmation from others, whoring around or just simply enjoying it without any negative/bad intetnions or without really needing it but just enjoying it so why the hell not. To me personally, I wouldn't mind my girlfriend ding so since I should be able to trust her, therefore most of the arguments against it are invalid. On the other hand, it is hard to tell for sure since the chance of me being with someone like that is not that high, I tend to naturally stay away from such people, disregarding their gender or how we are connected, though if I try to reason why there probably isn’t any real explanation besides me being sceptical when it comes to my own success and almost excusatory modesty on my part. In general I feel like when it comes to this, there are some ways to justify seeing your girlfriend / boyfriend seeking attention from others as a bad thing, but if you are really honest that usually is not why you are feeling uncomfortable about it. I am sure it usually boils down to either being insecure, distrusting, jealous (which of course is understandable to some degree and normal), simply not used to it, conflicting personal values/beliefs (which I for example expect why I don't really like it for example) or what not. For the most part it doesn’t seem truly honest to me and more like justification for of the own believes, at least I know for myself that this is true. I simply don't like it and when thinking about why I don't like it, I almost always have to admit that it is probably not the actual reason and just an argument that fits my narrative. In which case the solution is to figure out if you can live with it or if it is a serious problem and if it is the latter, see what you can do about it. I feel like the only ‘valid’ arguments against it stem from cultural / moral obligations and there isn’t really a factual way to say it is wrong, other than a big enough group of people see it as wrong (see: culture). I feel like I cheated on this question | ||
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