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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
On May 23 2017 03:35 Artisreal wrote: What has hornieness to do with the aforementioned question regarding advice given to women and men by fathers? I thought my point was pretty clear. It is one of the factors feeding into the "sexual market"(or whatever less TRP sounding name you want to give it). That drives social attitudes. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
Maybe I'm approaching this the wrong way. I don't see the connection between advice given from men to women that they shall not sleep but with their husband with a proposed lesser hornieness. Do I portray what you said falsely? Help me here lol | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
On May 23 2017 07:05 Artisreal wrote: No sorry, I did not understand it. I still don't. Maybe I'm approaching this the wrong way. I don't see the connection between advice given from men to women that they shall not sleep but with their husband with a proposed lesser hornieness. Do I portray what you said falsely? Help me here lol Sorry, I can't understand what you're saying here. As for what effect horniness has on the advice given by fathers: the differing horniness helps contribute to the prevailing social attitudes, informing the advice that fathers give. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8912 Posts
On May 23 2017 11:19 GoTuNk! wrote: I think woman and men are different, if a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys she is a hoe to me and I don't want her for anything serious. Sorry, I'm a bigot. its important that we accept our own faults, brother bigot. i dont have a problem with women who have had multiple partners if the relationships were serious/intimate enough, but if a woman has had multiple partners just because she liked the one night stands or the casual fun or whatever, i wouldnt touch that shit with a 10 foot pole. and this is the kind of thing that makes me think no matter how much i support gender equality when it comes to other topics such as salary, various rights etc. i understand to an extent i am a hypocrite because i will never see a promiscuous woman as acceptable despite having no problems with it for men | ||
dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On May 23 2017 12:53 evilfatsh1t wrote: its important that we accept our own faults, brother bigot. i dont have a problem with women who have had multiple partners if the relationships were serious/intimate enough, but if a woman has had multiple partners just because she liked the one night stands or the casual fun or whatever, i wouldnt touch that shit with a 10 foot pole. and this is the kind of thing that makes me think no matter how much i support gender equality when it comes to other topics such as salary, various rights etc. i understand to an extent i am a hypocrite because i will never see a promiscuous woman as acceptable despite having no problems with it for men I don't think you (or myself) are hypocrite. It is one thing to think everyone is equal to the law, and another one to disapprove certain behaviors and choose to not associate with people who exhibit such behavior. If you were asking for woman to be required to declare how many sexual partners they had, to receive pay cuts depending on sexual partner count, or simply be imprisoned for adultery, then you would be a hypocrite. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On May 23 2017 13:03 dravernor wrote: And that is why we'll never have true gender equality. Do we want 100% gender equality? Wouldn't that be the same as having no genders? Do we begin reproducing by mitosis then? | ||
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dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
On May 23 2017 13:10 GoTuNk! wrote: Do we want 100% gender equality? Wouldn't that be the same as having no genders? Do we begin reproducing by mitosis then? Hahaha. Maybe it would be clearer if I said we'll never see an end to gender based discrimination. To have double standards on how many partners one has had based on their sex is the problem. It's different in saying you'll never have anything to do with someone who has had a lot of sexual partners, sure that's fine. But really that shouldn't change whether you're male or female. | ||
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dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
This would be the same if I was a man. Blah. In short what I'm trying to say is I respect your decision to not have anything to do with women who have had multiple sexual partners, but I disagree with your double standards for men. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8912 Posts
On May 23 2017 13:09 GoTuNk! wrote: I don't think you (or myself) are hypocrite. It is one thing to think everyone is equal to the law, and another one to disapprove certain behaviors and choose to not associate with people who exhibit such behavior. If you were asking for woman to be required to declare how many sexual partners they had, to receive pay cuts depending on sexual partner count, or simply be imprisoned for adultery, then you would be a hypocrite. well i labelled myself as a hypocrite somewhat because of other factors too. for example i work with a lot of chefs and a common problem within the kitchen (lul) with women is their lack of physical strength and obviously their time of the month (which has stronger effects on their work due to it being physical in nature). as much as i support gender equality in terms of the law, you cannot overlook the fact that due to their biology the guys in the kitchen have to pick up the slack occasionally and yet are paid equally for it. this has gone off topic so ill stop here but yeah, we will never have full gender equality unless we all become hermaphroditic animals or something | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
On May 23 2017 11:41 WarSame wrote: Sorry, I can't understand what you're saying here. As for what effect horniness has on the advice given by fathers: the differing horniness helps contribute to the prevailing social attitudes, informing the advice that fathers give. Alright nevermind, I misread your post then and see what you mean now. Regarding the current conversation, in my opinion having double standards is nothing to be proud of and harmful to how we treat each other. Her private business is as much your ground as my backyard. Everything related to her past sexual activity that renders her not being suitable as a partner has a fine line between "I don't trust her being committed with such history" and "She's a whore and a disgrace". Anyway I'm actually pretty happy to be moving in again with my partner! Aaah those damn long distance relationships, let's hope this one's for a bit longer than last time! | ||
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dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
On May 23 2017 15:49 Artisreal wrote: Alright nevermind, I misread your post then and see what you mean now. Regarding the current conversation, in my opinion having double standards is nothing to be proud of and harmful to how we treat each other. Her private business is as much your ground as my backyard. Everything related to her past sexual activity that renders her not being suitable as a partner has a fine line between "I don't trust her being committed with such history" and "She's a whore and a disgrace". Anyway I'm actually pretty happy to be moving in again with my partner! Aaah those damn long distance relationships, let's hope this one's for a bit longer than last time! Thank you, that is what I was trying to express without finding the words. Good luck with your move! Long distance is hard man... | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18379 Posts
I don't think gotunk or evilfatshit are hypocrite for having a personal preference and expressing that. That said, slut shaming is a disgusting practice and has no place in civilized society. It's just another form of bullying and bullying for any reason is bad. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32157 Posts
On May 23 2017 17:15 Acrofales wrote: While I don't think women should somehow feel limited in how much casual sex they can have, it's simply a personal choice that may make them less attractive to potential partners. Just as my love of videogames and comic books makes me less attractive to potential partners. I don't think gotunk or evilfatshit are hypocrite for having a personal preference and expressing that. That said, slut shaming is a disgusting practice and has no place in civilized society. It's just another form of bullying and bullying for any reason is bad. On May 23 2017 11:19 GoTuNk! wrote: I think woman and men are different, if a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys she is a hoe to me and I don't want her for anything serious. Sorry, I'm a bigot. that is the definition of hypocrite and slut shaming | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
I think nowadays any good looking woman that is socially outgoing and still single at 30 will have had at least 25 ~ 30 sexual partners. Although I obviously don't know exact numbers I expect several of my female friends and exes have easily doubled that. And here's the kicker: none of them are the scandalous sluts that many seem to expect them to be based on their "promiscuity". Mostly what they have in common is that when they're not in a relationship they are fine with casual dating and don't get so overly attached to people that they spend months waiting for someone or getting over someone. And yes, obviously they are not dickshy. Can you really blame a girl for hooking up with 6 or guys in a year when she is not in a relationship? That's like one per two months. Fairly conservative if you look at it like that if you ask me. Yet for a 30 year old woman activity like that will easily put her on 50 sex partners. I think what we see here is the result of men simply not liking the smell of another dude on the girl they're sleeping with and on an even bigger scale women don't like competition in landing themselves a solid guy. It's easy to read between the lines that I'm half arguing with you guys and half arguing myself. I guess it bothers me that I can convince myself rationally but not instinctively. Still feel like I gotta stick up for the women around me, plenty of whom, by society's standards, would be considered slutty. Edit: I also have to add that when it comes to commitment etc. I have had better experience with the "promiscuous" women who are open about it then many so called "good girls". It makes sense really that a girl who has been around the block has far less need to step out because she has already had her fill of dating, knows what she wants, and isn't so easily lured by temptation anymore because she knows there's nothing interesting there. | ||
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Ektor Baboden
68 Posts
I guess I just don't understand  | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On May 24 2017 00:44 Ektor Baboden wrote: I actually never understood where this comes from: what is it that bothers people, if their partner had many sexual partners in the past? Surely if guys like casual sex, girls must like it as well? How would guys find casual sex partners if girls avoided it completely (and vice versa)? I guess I just don't understand The irony for me is that if a girl my age says she only dated like 3 guys I will consider her to be naive/innocent for me while 30+ digits still make me gulp... | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On May 24 2017 00:44 Ektor Baboden wrote: I actually never understood where this comes from: what is it that bothers people, if their partner had many sexual partners in the past? Surely if guys like casual sex, girls must like it as well? How would guys find casual sex partners if girls avoided it completely (and vice versa)? I guess I just don't understand guys who haven't slept with very many women feel insecure. it's always the guy with 2-4 lifetime partners talking about how that woman who slept with more is a slut. | ||
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Ektor Baboden
68 Posts
On May 24 2017 00:47 B.I.G. wrote: The irony for me is that if a girl my age says she only dated like 3 guys I will consider her to be naive/innocent for me while 30+ digits still make me gulp... In fact, for me it's a plus if a girl had many sexual partners. It means that: 1) She enjoys sex and is not too shy. 2) She had more chances to get experience and understand what she wants and what she likes. 3) She is less likely to think that she is "missing out" by committing to a relationship. All of these are very important to me and for the success of a relationship in general, I think. | ||
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