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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
June 13 2014 08:49 GMT
#9741
Snotling, that's exactly what I'm going to do, just relax and wait. No intentions of stalking, don't worry I don't know why yesterday the thing seemed much worse o.o today I feel good, not going to chase.

Thanks everyone for the tips! Love you guys!
Dating thread on TL LUL
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
June 13 2014 08:51 GMT
#9742
On June 13 2014 06:33 SoSexy wrote:
Need some opinions on this:

Girl I like, got in contact because I know some friends. She sells me weed and is younger than me (25-18). I met her two times, both for buying stuff. Then the other day I ask her out, she accepts, we have a nice date, she tells me she has a 'boyfriend' but they have an open relationship and they date other people (so basically friends with benefits) Two hours later end in bed. Best sex in a long while o.o I drive her home (she doesn't live far from me) and the last thing she says is 'I know you jog, if you come near my house stop by! I may be alone...'

So things seem pretty good! The problem is that this girl is SUPER awkard on facebook (I don't have her number yet). It takes her 6-8 hour to read a message: it's super frustrating and throws me off by a long shot. Two days after our meeting, I texted her in the morning 'hey, how are you?'. She replied in the late afternoon 'heygood, and you??'. I then asked her if she had some weed to sell because I wanted to relax in the evening (I didn't mean nor say 'relax with you': I'm good a sticky one). Well, it's almost midnight and she didn't even read the message... wtf -.-

Any tips? I'd just like to meet her more, not interested in a serious relationship, but at least I'd like to get a reply within hours...



You've got to be joking!

I'm all for romance, but come on, she's an 18 year old weed dealer, does that sound like someone who responds well to cyber stalking? Take it easy, enjoy her and her weed and stop checking up on her online.

Jesus shit, people get handed a golden fucking ticket and fuck it up so hard...
Anub1s
Profile Joined March 2011
Bulgaria17 Posts
June 13 2014 09:22 GMT
#9743
For the younger of you - just have fun. People change a lot in the years once they start living by their own and take responsibilities.

About relationships that don't work out, this is one of the first things that pops up in my head:

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
- Tom Robbins
Reality is forged of Dreams.
Aveng3r
Profile Joined February 2012
United States2411 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-13 19:47:43
June 13 2014 16:46 GMT
#9744
I might be about to have sex with a 38 year old crazy cougar lady tonight and I'm a little terrified. I'm only 21 and I've never had sex with anyone outside of my immediate age group, anyone care to offer some advice here?
I carve marble busts of assassinated world leaders - PM for a quote
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States23738 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-13 20:36:58
June 13 2014 18:30 GMT
#9745
On June 14 2014 01:46 Aveng3r wrote:
I might be about to have sex with a 38 year old crazy cougar lady tonight and I'm a little terrified. I'm only 21 and I've been had sex with anyone outside of my immediate age group, anyone care to offer some advice here?


Sounds like she is a dominant (crazy) type although she could be a submissive. I would try to get an idea of what she is into without just asking her outright. Chances are either way it's going to be pretty freaky (she has been having sex for at least a decade longer than you, probably not looking for a 21 year old to just do the basics).

I think the first thing to establish is whether she wants to be dominated (to some degree) or if she 'want's to teach you something'. Casual flirting should be able to establish this. If she is being aggresive about hooking up ask her 'You like it rough huh?" Her response should give a clue as to whether she want's to be rough and who should dominate.

No offence but if she is trying to hook up with a 21 year old as you describe, chances are that she 'wants your bod', Either way some seductive teasing with your body will definitely get her going.

**Realized it was a bit graphic**

+ Show Spoiler +
If she want's it rough from you be prepared to play rough. Pull her hair from behind (get a good handful and avoid the short hairs near the base of the neck [those hurt a lot more]), rough biting of nipples (start soft, then get harder TIP: cover your bottom teeth with your lip to prevent from biting too hard), slapping her ass (especially near orgasm, telling her what to do (Man voice), choking (Try to apply force primarily to the arteries instead of the windpipe), etc.

If she want's to dominate you be prepared to do a healthy amount of cunnilingus, your back is going to get scratched to hell, she may want foot play, getting teased, etc... (If you're not into that kind of stuff make it clear before you go home with her.) Something like "now you're not going to chain me up and make me lick your boot are you"?

If it's going to be rough, start light and work your way up, also make sure to have a safe word. So that if things get too intense you/she can calm them down a bit. I suggest using a fruit, it's obvious, but doesn't break the mood too much.

That was based on the (crazy) qualifier. If she is just normal in the bedroom just go with the teasing her with your body and then seduce her by lightly touching her all over her body (if you have super rough hands use just the tip of your tongue without much, if any saliva) while avoiding her nipples, ass, and vag. Slowly work closer to those hotspots and before you know it she will be forcing you into her.


Finally be prepared for her not to be impressed. She is definitely experimenting with a younger man, and has likely had far more experienced partners. If she does consider your performance remarkable than it means you exceeded expectations.

Just my 2 cents
Good Luck and be Safe
"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
Aveng3r
Profile Joined February 2012
United States2411 Posts
June 13 2014 19:50 GMT
#9746
That was good advice haha almost too good.

But yeah she already mentioned some crazy shit like choking that I've never done before so well see how this goes
I carve marble busts of assassinated world leaders - PM for a quote
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States23738 Posts
June 13 2014 20:27 GMT
#9747
On June 14 2014 04:50 Aveng3r wrote:
That was good advice haha almost too good.

But yeah she already mentioned some crazy shit like choking that I've never done before so well see how this goes


Realized I'm actually giving sex advice more than dating advice and I am not familiar with protocol here. In interest in helping you both have a good time I'll still give it to you in spoilered form.

+ Show Spoiler +
OK if that's the case I suggest wearing a good leather belt you can spank her with. Remember the choking tip and if that's a bit much, try covering her mouth with your hand, you can intermediately cover/block her nostrils at the same time to achieve a similar 'lightheaded' feeling for her. If you want to do it again try not to be too timid, just throw on that young man bravado even if you're not entirely confident. Lastly, LISTEN TO HER! She will guide you to what she wants either directly (she sounds like this type) or with sound.


"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
Beastgief
Profile Joined June 2014
United States34 Posts
June 13 2014 20:40 GMT
#9748
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.
Waylander
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States23738 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-13 21:06:02
June 13 2014 20:51 GMT
#9749
On June 14 2014 05:40 Beastgief wrote:
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.


Is the lack of attraction objective (like she is not attractive to most people) or more subjective (as in just not really your type)?

Also your/her age range would be helpful.

EDIT: Is it mostly a weight/fitness issue or is it mostly a generically unattractive (abnormal features or something[maybe specifically cultural] like size of nose or proportion of body/face features)

I'm not trying to objectify her, just narrow down whether your lack of attraction stems from non-surgically alterable aspects or not.
"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
Beastgief
Profile Joined June 2014
United States34 Posts
June 13 2014 20:53 GMT
#9750
On June 14 2014 05:51 GreenHorizons wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 14 2014 05:40 Beastgief wrote:
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.


Is the lack of attraction objective (like she is not attractive to most people) or more subjective (as in just not really your type)?

Also your/her age range would be helpful.


We're both 24. And yea, I would say she's not attractive to most people. I wouldn't say she's ugly, but she's definitely not my type.
Waylander
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
June 13 2014 21:09 GMT
#9751
Usually when people feel like a pos it is because they are being a pos. You are fine if you have told her that this isn't something longterm for you and that she is essentially a fuck buddy for you, but if not then you are indeed a pos.

Just my 2c
Beastgief
Profile Joined June 2014
United States34 Posts
June 13 2014 21:36 GMT
#9752
On June 14 2014 05:51 GreenHorizons wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 14 2014 05:40 Beastgief wrote:
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.


Is the lack of attraction objective (like she is not attractive to most people) or more subjective (as in just not really your type)?

Also your/her age range would be helpful.

EDIT: Is it mostly a weight/fitness issue or is it mostly a generically unattractive (abnormal features or something[maybe specifically cultural] like size of nose or proportion of body/face features)

I'm not trying to objectify her, just narrow down whether your lack of attraction stems from non-surgically alterable aspects or not.




her face is pretty. she's just fat, and I've only ever dated/ been attracted to petite girls
Waylander
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-13 21:53:18
June 13 2014 21:52 GMT
#9753
Seems like her feelings aren't going "down" anytime soon, so at least make it clear for her what you want from that relationship. From the way you talk about it, it does seem like you're using her, but it's a bit hard to judge...
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5711 Posts
June 13 2014 22:20 GMT
#9754
On June 14 2014 06:36 Beastgief wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 14 2014 05:51 GreenHorizons wrote:
On June 14 2014 05:40 Beastgief wrote:
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.


Is the lack of attraction objective (like she is not attractive to most people) or more subjective (as in just not really your type)?

Also your/her age range would be helpful.

EDIT: Is it mostly a weight/fitness issue or is it mostly a generically unattractive (abnormal features or something[maybe specifically cultural] like size of nose or proportion of body/face features)

I'm not trying to objectify her, just narrow down whether your lack of attraction stems from non-surgically alterable aspects or not.




her face is pretty. she's just fat, and I've only ever dated/ been attracted to petite girls


But you have sex with her? She's obviously attractive enough to fuck. The longer you prolong your decision the more it's going to hurt her and the more your gonna feel bad about it.

For her sake it's best you told her how you feel about the situation and basically want to be fuck buddies and nothing more.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
June 13 2014 22:40 GMT
#9755
you could always to active stuff with her
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States23738 Posts
June 13 2014 22:46 GMT
#9756
On June 14 2014 06:36 Beastgief wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 14 2014 05:51 GreenHorizons wrote:
On June 14 2014 05:40 Beastgief wrote:
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.


Is the lack of attraction objective (like she is not attractive to most people) or more subjective (as in just not really your type)?

Also your/her age range would be helpful.

EDIT: Is it mostly a weight/fitness issue or is it mostly a generically unattractive (abnormal features or something[maybe specifically cultural] like size of nose or proportion of body/face features)

I'm not trying to objectify her, just narrow down whether your lack of attraction stems from non-surgically alterable aspects or not.




her face is pretty. she's just fat, and I've only ever dated/ been attracted to petite girls


Ok basically being honest in the least asshole way is least pos way out of your situation.

First your 24 so you probably still have some 'wild oats' to sew. But with that in mind this is a calculated risk. Sounds like this girl has basically everything you could ask for in a partner except the physical attraction (this is primarily a weight issue which may or may not be alterable and beneficial to her health in general).

If you know you want to hook up with more 8+'s that will probably break your heart (one might not) then you should let her go asap, but if you could consider settling down with a girl like her (not necessarily her) than you should think a bit before doing anything too rash.

I guess I'm a bit analytic about it, but I would consider how important a woman's appearances are to you (keep in mind they fade and could be temporarily improved to a mutual benefit). If she could potentially lose the weight to a point where you could both be happy I would let her know before letting her go, chances are she'll think you're a dick and want to break up anyway (thinking you are shallow) or she'll have already thought about it and be appreciative of having someone who cares for her help her out.
"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
Adrian_mx
Profile Joined April 2010
Mexico1880 Posts
June 13 2014 23:53 GMT
#9757
I think this girl Im messing with though we didnt have sex yet, is starting to get feelings for me. how do i dodge but still get sexity sex sex
我是冠军
Adrian_mx
Profile Joined April 2010
Mexico1880 Posts
June 13 2014 23:59 GMT
#9758
On June 14 2014 07:46 GreenHorizons wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 14 2014 06:36 Beastgief wrote:
On June 14 2014 05:51 GreenHorizons wrote:
On June 14 2014 05:40 Beastgief wrote:
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.


Is the lack of attraction objective (like she is not attractive to most people) or more subjective (as in just not really your type)?

Also your/her age range would be helpful.

EDIT: Is it mostly a weight/fitness issue or is it mostly a generically unattractive (abnormal features or something[maybe specifically cultural] like size of nose or proportion of body/face features)

I'm not trying to objectify her, just narrow down whether your lack of attraction stems from non-surgically alterable aspects or not.




her face is pretty. she's just fat, and I've only ever dated/ been attracted to petite girls


Ok basically being honest in the least asshole way is least pos way out of your situation.

First your 24 so you probably still have some 'wild oats' to sew. But with that in mind this is a calculated risk. Sounds like this girl has basically everything you could ask for in a partner except the physical attraction (this is primarily a weight issue which may or may not be alterable and beneficial to her health in general).

If you know you want to hook up with more 8+'s that will probably break your heart (one might not) then you should let her go asap, but if you could consider settling down with a girl like her (not necessarily her) than you should think a bit before doing anything too rash.

I guess I'm a bit analytic about it, but I would consider how important a woman's appearances are to you (keep in mind they fade and could be temporarily improved to a mutual benefit). If she could potentially lose the weight to a point where you could both be happy I would let her know before letting her go, chances are she'll think you're a dick and want to break up anyway (thinking you are shallow) or she'll have already thought about it and be appreciative of having someone who cares for her help her out.

Also, dude thats easy. do more adctive shit with her get her in shape ez win
我是冠军
MaestroSC
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States2073 Posts
June 14 2014 00:28 GMT
#9759
On June 14 2014 05:40 Beastgief wrote:
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.


ur going to hurt her. she is going to think you are an asshole.

Just got out of relationship with a girl who was a solid 9..but she was fucking crazy. Has daddy issues. Falls in love too fast...

basically within a month she was "in love" and i told her we needed to break up as i wasnt where she was with it all emotionally... and I turned her down for sex, because i legitimately care about her as a person...and then told her later i turned down the sex because i knew she felt more than i did...

she still called me an asshole who only used her for her amazing breasts...

they were amazing tho.

also I get the whole petite thing... all of my serious relationships are girls with: Dark hair, glasses, and a teeny tiny petite frame. Last girl was the most hourglass figure ive ever met, Great breasts, great ass... but she was into fake tanning and hair dyeing/extensions..when i prefer em more...natural looking.

you like what you like. Its not any more shallow than dudes who like big fat chicks.
CecilSunkure
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2829 Posts
June 14 2014 04:50 GMT
#9760
On June 14 2014 06:36 Beastgief wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 14 2014 05:51 GreenHorizons wrote:
On June 14 2014 05:40 Beastgief wrote:
Currently dating a girl I'm not attracted to, but the sex is great and she takes good care of me. Recently broke up with a legit 9/10, but she ended up breaking my heart, and I wanted a change of pace.

I feel kind of bad for who I'm with now. Like she's a good person and I care about her, but there is no passion on my end, which is different from my most recent relationship in which I was head over heels in love. Am I using her? I kind of enjoy how care free I can be around her, and I won't get jealous or anything, and won't become obsessive, but I still kind of see this as a temporary thing to boost my confidence and self esteem until I'm ready to move on.

I feel like such a pos... she really likes me too and I really don't want to end up hurting her.


Is the lack of attraction objective (like she is not attractive to most people) or more subjective (as in just not really your type)?

Also your/her age range would be helpful.

EDIT: Is it mostly a weight/fitness issue or is it mostly a generically unattractive (abnormal features or something[maybe specifically cultural] like size of nose or proportion of body/face features)

I'm not trying to objectify her, just narrow down whether your lack of attraction stems from non-surgically alterable aspects or not.




her face is pretty. she's just fat, and I've only ever dated/ been attracted to petite girls

Here's what you do, you work out and live as healthy a lifestyle. Then bring it up to her that you'd be more attracted to her if she does the same. If you lead the way first chances are she'll also want to lose weight and just do it herself. If you really care about her and the relationship you'll change yourself first, and then you can ask her to do the same.

Then the ball is in her court, and if she doesn't work for a better relationship then you can end it in good conscious knowing you did what was right.

But if you're just too lazy or don't want to do all this work, then yeah you need to be honest with her and treat her properly.
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