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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 07 2014 06:20 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On June 06 2014 23:26 Grobyc wrote:On June 06 2014 22:54 farvacola wrote:
Sounds like boner or poop problems. Yeah... let's just say I probably drank a bit too much and my dick wasn't performing how I wanted. In all seriousness though, it really sucks. Maximum embarrassment. I've never been so disappointed in myself and I'm having a hard time shaking it off. If it makes you feel better, i snuck a girl over one night, well not really snuck i guess but didnt want anyone to wake up i guess. We were getting down to business, i had just got my dick in and thrusted a couple times when my dog wanted out of the room, i was like okay thats cool. shes like alright let him out and come back. let the dog out, get back on top repeat a couple thrusts when the dog wants outside. i was like "youre fucking kidding me right now" go let the dog outside and wait for him to come in(probably a minute total) walk back in shes like, "are we good now?" i told her "yeah should be" repeat yet again i get up get in then the dog starts whining wanting in my room. my face is as red as a stop sign bc if i dont get up and let him in he will bark until my mom walks in on me banging a pretty decent looking girl so for the 3rd time i stop and let the dog in. apologize profusely but shes just like whatever just fuck me and then we still end up having sex but she jokes about it the entire way home ._.
PM'd
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On June 06 2014 23:26 Grobyc wrote:Yeah... let's just say I probably drank a bit too much and my dick wasn't performing how I wanted. In all seriousness though, it really sucks. Maximum embarrassment. I've never been so disappointed in myself and I'm having a hard time shaking it off.
I've been there buddy. Actually I made a blog about it but I deleted it haha. 
Just a matter of psyching yourself out, happens to the best of us.
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Dang, I figured it'd be common sense to just ask a girl out if you're on a dating site talking to her???
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Well this is interesting. Met my friend's bestfriend and we just clicked into each other immediately. When she dances it's like she dances in slow motion yet with complete abandon. She absolutely beautiful, adventurous (Think jumping out of helicopters, and travelling the world), an entrepreneur, and geeky. When I think about her I feel a tingling not in my crotch area but around the chest cavity. This is new...
Social game. Best game. Screw pub crawling or club hopping or tinder.
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You know those awkward times when you 'are' on a date, but don't know it?
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On June 11 2014 14:10 Goolpsy wrote:
You know those awkward times when you 'are' on a date, but don't know it?
It happens. I met a girl once and we were just gonna hang out but ended up kissing and doing datey type stuff
it was ok
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I think he might be talking about those times where you didn't actually realise it was a date, but the other person thought it to be one.
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On June 07 2014 19:18 dravernor wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2014 17:49 Monsen wrote:On June 07 2014 01:04 dravernor wrote:Okay, time to vent a little. When I was 16 I met this amazing guy in boarding school. He and I became best friends. We spent all our lunch hours together, all our free periods. We would play games, help each other with homework, even make plans to see each other over the weekend. At the time I met him, he had just started dating a girl from another school. I remember being slightly upset about this at first because I started developing a crush on him. He and I spoke about it, and he admitted to liking me too, but he wanted to give his new relationship a chance. We continued to hang out. He eventually left school and went to do an apprenticeship down south. He and I emailed every day. We flirted, we shared, we joked. We sometimes even skyped. I gave up my lunch hours to write him emails. His girlfriend was my age and was still at school. They dated long distance, he came back once every few months and they spent his holiday together. Eventually I moved down south for uni too, and she moved up north. He and I still messaged every day. We still flirted, and talked about 'maybe one day'. I started dating, but I never forgot him. He was very much a part of my life, I kept wondering what it would be like to kiss him. I made it my mission that one day, ONE DAY I would kiss him. That was all I wanted. I vividly remember one night, we were at a party together. He wanted to show me a car that had parked at the end of the lane, so we walked down the road in the dark together, giving each other piggybacks, laughing, making stupid jokes about the potholes. And I remember he stopped and scooped me up in his arms, looking deep into my eyes by the light of the moon, and he pressed his nose against mine, our lips centimetres apart. And he told me he would always remember this moment. He finished his apprenticeship and moved back home to take up a job as an aviation engineer and pilot. I came home for my holidays and his girlfriend came home for hers at a different time of year. During the holidays he would spend time with both of us. My family loved him and often encouraged me to invite him for dinner or to family functions. When he did visit, 99% of the time his girlfriend would call and ask where he was and he would tell her the truth, and she would get upset and leave shortly after to appease her. She didn't like me. I initially tried my best to get on with her, but she didn't seem to have any personality at all. She just patiently sat around and watched us all have fun, didn't interact with us, didn't join in on conversation etc. SHE DIDN'T EVEN TRY. Eventually she stopped coming, and she stopped allowing him to come. She imposed rules on him - he could only see me if she was around. She was away at uni one year, and I was home on holiday. I invited him over for dinner. We talked (about his failing long distance relationship and his girlfriend's jealousy issues, about her inconsistency with him and how she was slowly draining him of the man he used to be) and we agreed that there was still a chance for him and me in the future, that maybe after all this we would be together. We laughed and joked, even played Worms Armageddon on our laptops. Watched TV, flirted, had a drink. My parents went to bed. We went swimming. We kissed. In that moment, my wish was fulfilled. I was satisfied. I glowed. I was happy to let him get on with his life, and I think he was happy to let me get on with mine. We talked slightly less over the next year or two, but still monthly at least. His girlfriend finished uni and moved back, she moved in with him. His brother told me how much his family hated the girlfriend and how much he wished I would date him instead. My family compared all my boyfriends to him. His friends begged me to take her place, she wouldn't let him go to social events with them anymore either. They said he was the wonderful man I knew him as when they were at work, but a completely different guy when 'that bitch' was around. He told me he loved me. Our talking monthly became an odd message once every few months, and then hardly ever. He told his girlfriend about me, and she imposed further restrictions, he wasn't allowed to message me, and she checked his phone daily. He once stopped by my house on the way back from work (he left early and my house is on the way) and she caught him. She phoned while he was at my house, and he admitted he was with me. He left instantly, with her in tears on the phone. He hadn't even been there five minutes. It has been 5 months since I heard from him, and I had a dream about him earlier this week, the first in years. I decided to message him, and with his reply came the hope that maybe one day there would be the chance. We messaged daily this week, while he was at work, clearing his messages before he got home, even though they were entirely innocent. His girlfriend just posted this on Facebook today. I always find it hard to relate to stories like this. For me it always looks like part of the picture is missing. The way you tell it either a) his girlfriend is amazing and you're cherrypicking negative things about her that you hear from his family/friends or b) the guy you're into is a (emotional) moron. And thus not worth your time/affection anyway. There's no way a superduperawesome guy dates a horrible girl like you describe for years. Yeah, I am probably missing something. She must be really nice when she is with him, it is just not something I or his friends see.
I'm no expert on this but from what I've read she might be abusing him, could be something worth considering.
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Now that's a little extreme. What I'm reading on this thread does not rise to the stark contrast of
* It was all online, never a meet or date
* Guy assumed it constituted an exclusive relationship
You're being far too cynical here. Far more prevalent are the common things, such as each person going into the relationship with different goals & expectations or changing goals and expectations and not communicating nor convincing the other of them. I struggle to recall even 5 such stories in the last 100 pages rising to that level of facepalm. I've done my share of pinning unrealistic hopes on small stuff, but that passes in days and isn't some repeated "WTF" (from link) relationship experience. If we're exclusively talking individuals first experiences with love and opportunity in their adult lives, then it's just (extreme) inexperience and awkwardness that's frankly expected.
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I was super enthusiastic about this girl. The first date she suggested seeing a film, which I wouldn't personally suggest but which was alright. I took her hand during the film, later we kissed and like middle schoolers, we didn't even sleep together that day. Still, for the first time this year, I get really excited thinking about her and spending time with her.
Fast forward a week, we have a great date, but she seems to be pensive and not really 'there' the entire time.
Still, she takes me home, still seems preoccupied the entire time, we sleep together, I get my hopes up, later she tells me that she's not quite over her ex yet and that she needs some time to herself.
No hard feelings, obviously, but I'm really bummed out that the first time I get really excited about a girl and can't see her anymore. Oh well...
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On June 11 2014 20:19 SixStrings wrote:
I was super enthusiastic about this girl. The first date she suggested seeing a film, which I wouldn't personally suggest but which was alright. I took her hand during the film, later we kissed and like middle schoolers, we didn't even sleep together that day. Still, for the first time this year, I get really excited thinking about her and spending time with her.
Fast forward a week, we have a great date, but she seems to be pensive and not really 'there' the entire time.
Still, she takes me home, still seems preoccupied the entire time, we sleep together, I get my hopes up, later she tells me that she's not quite over her ex yet and that she needs some time to herself.
No hard feelings, obviously, but I'm really bummed out that the first time I get really excited about a girl and can't see her anymore. Oh well...
you were that rebound when she wanted dick
she'll move on to someone for good after you, thats just how life goes
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Sure, I'm not too emo about spending a night with a beautiful girls, it's just a bummer that the only girl that doesn't want to see me again is also the only girl I'm interested in.
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That is probably why you are interested in her.
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On June 11 2014 22:54 Ghostcom wrote:
That is probably why you are interested in her.
This.
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Netherlands6192 Posts
On June 12 2014 01:43 CecilSunkure wrote:Show nested quote +On June 11 2014 22:54 Ghostcom wrote:
That is probably why you are interested in her. This.
Yeah, usually the people who are most interesting to you are the ones who don't open up as much as you want them to, they make you want more, and deny it. Just the way attraction works.
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On June 12 2014 02:14 dravernor wrote:Show nested quote +On June 12 2014 01:43 CecilSunkure wrote:On June 11 2014 22:54 Ghostcom wrote:
That is probably why you are interested in her. This. Yeah, usually the people who are most interesting to you are the ones who don't open up as much as you want them to, they make you want more, and deny it. Just the way attraction works.
Yeah but seems to me the more mature a person gets the less they care about this sort of attraction, and more they care about other priorities. You know, the whole settling down thing.
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Netherlands6192 Posts
On June 12 2014 02:24 CecilSunkure wrote:Show nested quote +On June 12 2014 02:14 dravernor wrote:On June 12 2014 01:43 CecilSunkure wrote:On June 11 2014 22:54 Ghostcom wrote:
That is probably why you are interested in her. This. Yeah, usually the people who are most interesting to you are the ones who don't open up as much as you want them to, they make you want more, and deny it. Just the way attraction works. Yeah but seems to me the more mature a person gets the less they care about this sort of attraction, and more they care about other priorities. You know, the whole settling down thing.
I agree. I am at a uncomfortable in between stage myself. It is like puberty of a midlife crisis from an old age home.
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Ran into a girl from my school on my way home from work. We went to school together way back, like 7-8 years ago. We grabbed coffee and talked for a while. Reminiscing.
She from out of the blue: Did you know I had a crush on you for like 4 years?
I had no idea at all. We would probably have hit it off back then.
People, tell others when you like/love them.
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EPT
