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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Northern Ireland23771 Posts
I have more reason than many to vent, but am currently quite enjoying the single life. As somebody prone to depression and general mental malaise I've felt pretty good since cutting contact with Minibat's mum to a minimum, but she's started making things a bit difficult for me (again). I'm more venting than looking any kind of advice, but it's always appreciated.
To TLDR it we split around Christmas time, she was due to come up to the North coast of Ireland for the day with Minibat, where all my family live so she could meet my clan and we could spend some time together, as we hadn't due to her university exams. She bails ON THE DAY, my mum and I have to travel an hour back home to pick him up and this was the final straw of many, so we ended things there.
Since then I've seen him pretty regularly and provided financial support while growing increasingly resentful. I love the wee guy, but the baggage around it with him and her family is ridiculous. I didn't pressure her either way when it came to the pregnancy, but IMO am justifiably annoyed at her refusal to put in any kind of effort into salvaging things. Some things aren't fixable ofc, but at least try ffs :p. Latest annoyance for me was when I booked 2 weeks in a row off on holiday to mind him while she did her final exams. She finished her exams and within a day blocks me on Facebook and says it's 'for the best.' My desire to at least occasionally take him out together, so he isn't shunted from one house to another is now not on the cards it seems.
I feel she's on the cusp of fucking me over for access, so am pre-emptively getting things sorted on that front. With all this going on I can say my dating life has somewhat suffered :p
Anyway I love my TL dating brethren and have been bottling up my latent rage for ages, figured I'd let it out here. If you're wondering anything (as this was a small fraction) feel free to ask.
Use a condom kids!
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Soo things in my life have been good, except the fact that I'm about to move and that is certainly going to complicate things with the guy I've been dating. I'm only moving about two hours away though, so that would be manageable... anddd then he decided that he'll likely be moving across the country in December to work at a lab where he can finish his phd. We've only been seeing each other for a couple months right now, so when he (maybe) leaves we'll only have been dating for 8ish months. Not exactly a solid foundation when you'll be faced with at least 4 years very far apart.
So that kind of sucks. :/
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On June 06 2014 23:26 Grobyc wrote:Yeah... let's just say I probably drank a bit too much and my dick wasn't performing how I wanted. In all seriousness though, it really sucks. Maximum embarrassment. I've never been so disappointed in myself and I'm having a hard time shaking it off.
If it makes you feel better, i snuck a girl over one night, well not really snuck i guess but didnt want anyone to wake up i guess.
We were getting down to business, i had just got my dick in and thrusted a couple times when my dog wanted out of the room, i was like okay thats cool. shes like alright let him out and come back.
let the dog out, get back on top repeat a couple thrusts when the dog wants outside.
i was like "youre fucking kidding me right now" go let the dog outside and wait for him to come in(probably a minute total)
walk back in shes like, "are we good now?" i told her "yeah should be" repeat yet again i get up get in then the dog starts whining wanting in my room.
my face is as red as a stop sign bc if i dont get up and let him in he will bark until my mom walks in on me banging a pretty decent looking girl so for the 3rd time i stop and let the dog in.
apologize profusely but shes just like whatever just fuck me and then we still end up having sex but she jokes about it the entire way home
._.
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United Kingdom36156 Posts
On June 07 2014 06:20 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On June 06 2014 23:26 Grobyc wrote:On June 06 2014 22:54 farvacola wrote:
Sounds like boner or poop problems. Yeah... let's just say I probably drank a bit too much and my dick wasn't performing how I wanted. In all seriousness though, it really sucks. Maximum embarrassment. I've never been so disappointed in myself and I'm having a hard time shaking it off. If it makes you feel better, i snuck a girl over one night, well not really snuck i guess but didnt want anyone to wake up i guess. We were getting down to business, i had just got my dick in and thrusted a couple times when my dog wanted out of the room, i was like okay thats cool. shes like alright let him out and come back. let the dog out, get back on top repeat a couple thrusts when the dog wants outside. i was like "youre fucking kidding me right now" go let the dog outside and wait for him to come in(probably a minute total) walk back in shes like, "are we good now?" i told her "yeah should be" repeat yet again i get up get in then the dog starts whining wanting in my room. my face is as red as a stop sign bc if i dont get up and let him in he will bark until my mom walks in on me banging a pretty decent looking girl so for the 3rd time i stop and let the dog in. apologize profusely but shes just like whatever just fuck me and then we still end up having sex but she jokes about it the entire way home ._.
she sounds perfect tbh.
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On June 07 2014 07:39 marvellosity wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2014 06:20 arb wrote:On June 06 2014 23:26 Grobyc wrote:On June 06 2014 22:54 farvacola wrote:
Sounds like boner or poop problems. Yeah... let's just say I probably drank a bit too much and my dick wasn't performing how I wanted. In all seriousness though, it really sucks. Maximum embarrassment. I've never been so disappointed in myself and I'm having a hard time shaking it off. If it makes you feel better, i snuck a girl over one night, well not really snuck i guess but didnt want anyone to wake up i guess. We were getting down to business, i had just got my dick in and thrusted a couple times when my dog wanted out of the room, i was like okay thats cool. shes like alright let him out and come back. let the dog out, get back on top repeat a couple thrusts when the dog wants outside. i was like "youre fucking kidding me right now" go let the dog outside and wait for him to come in(probably a minute total) walk back in shes like, "are we good now?" i told her "yeah should be" repeat yet again i get up get in then the dog starts whining wanting in my room. my face is as red as a stop sign bc if i dont get up and let him in he will bark until my mom walks in on me banging a pretty decent looking girl so for the 3rd time i stop and let the dog in. apologize profusely but shes just like whatever just fuck me and then we still end up having sex but she jokes about it the entire way home ._. she sounds perfect tbh.
She ended up moving back to the west coast this month, so i guess im just glad i got to have sex with her a few times
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Not sure if my standards are higher or I'm just more mature (for lack of a better word), but since I broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years in 2012 I've been single and really fucking happy, HOWEVER
I still very much want a serious girlfriend but I find that most girls I've met since then just don't interest me enough for me to want to commit to a relationship. Part of it has to do with the fact that I have known during this time that I would be going off to medical school somewhere so if I did start a relationship it would most likely end up being a long-distance one. So sometimes I do "give up" somewhat quickly because I just don't want to deal with any long-distance thing at this stage of my life.
Another reason might be because I want my next girlfriend to be the one I propose to. I mean I won't force anything obviously but I've been through a couple relationships already and I know myself very well and what I want, so I just don't want to even start dating unless I can see a lot of promise. You guys think this is fair enough or am I being way to selective and critical at the beginning?
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On June 07 2014 15:24 Titusmaster6 wrote:
Not sure if my standards are higher or I'm just more mature (for lack of a better word), but since I broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years in 2012 I've been single and really fucking happy, HOWEVER
I still very much want a serious girlfriend but I find that most girls I've met since then just don't interest me enough for me to want to commit to a relationship. Part of it has to do with the fact that I have known during this time that I would be going off to medical school somewhere so if I did start a relationship it would most likely end up being a long-distance one. So sometimes I do "give up" somewhat quickly because I just don't want to deal with any long-distance thing at this stage of my life.
Another reason might be because I want my next girlfriend to be the one I propose to. I mean I won't force anything obviously but I've been through a couple relationships already and I know myself very well and what I want, so I just don't want to even start dating unless I can see a lot of promise. You guys think this is fair enough or am I being way to selective and critical at the beginning?
I kinda have the same feeling as you. For example I know this girl and there definitely is mutual attraction but the fact that she lives like two hours away and we are both extremely busy made me decide to not even bother. At least for now.
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Netherlands6175 Posts
On June 07 2014 15:24 Titusmaster6 wrote:
Not sure if my standards are higher or I'm just more mature (for lack of a better word), but since I broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years in 2012 I've been single and really fucking happy, HOWEVER
I still very much want a serious girlfriend but I find that most girls I've met since then just don't interest me enough for me to want to commit to a relationship. Part of it has to do with the fact that I have known during this time that I would be going off to medical school somewhere so if I did start a relationship it would most likely end up being a long-distance one. So sometimes I do "give up" somewhat quickly because I just don't want to deal with any long-distance thing at this stage of my life.
Another reason might be because I want my next girlfriend to be the one I propose to. I mean I won't force anything obviously but I've been through a couple relationships already and I know myself very well and what I want, so I just don't want to even start dating unless I can see a lot of promise. You guys think this is fair enough or am I being way to selective and critical at the beginning?
Heh, I feel similarly to you. I suppose maybe not set on marrying the next guy I date, but I also want something serious. I am not even interested in random hook-ups etc. So I don't think you are wrong in knowing what you want and going for it. Just wait it out and see if you meet someone at school. Better to wait and find someone it might work with than just go with anyone I think.
Edit: I guess just don't rule out getting to know girls just because you are set on finding a specific type of person. Some of the more awesome people I have dated have been completely outside of my standard interest zone.
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On June 07 2014 15:24 Titusmaster6 wrote:
Not sure if my standards are higher or I'm just more mature (for lack of a better word), but since I broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years in 2012 I've been single and really fucking happy, HOWEVER
I still very much want a serious girlfriend but I find that most girls I've met since then just don't interest me enough for me to want to commit to a relationship. Part of it has to do with the fact that I have known during this time that I would be going off to medical school somewhere so if I did start a relationship it would most likely end up being a long-distance one. So sometimes I do "give up" somewhat quickly because I just don't want to deal with any long-distance thing at this stage of my life.
Another reason might be because I want my next girlfriend to be the one I propose to. I mean I won't force anything obviously but I've been through a couple relationships already and I know myself very well and what I want, so I just don't want to even start dating unless I can see a lot of promise. You guys think this is fair enough or am I being way to selective and critical at the beginning?
You kidding? Of course that's good. I'd go so far even to say as that's the right way to do it. You don't have to mean or anything to girls that are interested in you, of course, but it just sounds like you have expectations and aren't really looking to mess around anymore.
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On June 07 2014 15:24 Titusmaster6 wrote:
Another reason might be because I want my next girlfriend to be the one I propose to. I mean I won't force anything obviously but I've been through a couple relationships already and I know myself very well and what I want, so I just don't want to even start dating unless I can see a lot of promise. You guys think this is fair enough or am I being way to selective and critical at the beginning?
It sounds like you're done messing around. It's equally obvious that future girlfriends might be a bad match after the first two dates, but you wouldn't drag it out because its fun anymore. A word of caution about knowing yourself very well and what you want. If you've discovered 5 new, broad things about yourself that you won't shake, or patterns of attraction in women, don't think you're done understanding your own inner wants and inclinations. If you've gone 5 miles of self discovery after a lifetime of only making it 5 inches, there might be another 2 miles left to go, or another 10.
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On June 07 2014 01:04 dravernor wrote:Okay, time to vent a little. When I was 16 I met this amazing guy in boarding school. He and I became best friends. We spent all our lunch hours together, all our free periods. We would play games, help each other with homework, even make plans to see each other over the weekend. At the time I met him, he had just started dating a girl from another school. I remember being slightly upset about this at first because I started developing a crush on him. He and I spoke about it, and he admitted to liking me too, but he wanted to give his new relationship a chance. We continued to hang out. He eventually left school and went to do an apprenticeship down south. He and I emailed every day. We flirted, we shared, we joked. We sometimes even skyped. I gave up my lunch hours to write him emails. His girlfriend was my age and was still at school. They dated long distance, he came back once every few months and they spent his holiday together. Eventually I moved down south for uni too, and she moved up north. He and I still messaged every day. We still flirted, and talked about 'maybe one day'. I started dating, but I never forgot him. He was very much a part of my life, I kept wondering what it would be like to kiss him. I made it my mission that one day, ONE DAY I would kiss him. That was all I wanted. I vividly remember one night, we were at a party together. He wanted to show me a car that had parked at the end of the lane, so we walked down the road in the dark together, giving each other piggybacks, laughing, making stupid jokes about the potholes. And I remember he stopped and scooped me up in his arms, looking deep into my eyes by the light of the moon, and he pressed his nose against mine, our lips centimetres apart. And he told me he would always remember this moment. He finished his apprenticeship and moved back home to take up a job as an aviation engineer and pilot. I came home for my holidays and his girlfriend came home for hers at a different time of year. During the holidays he would spend time with both of us. My family loved him and often encouraged me to invite him for dinner or to family functions. When he did visit, 99% of the time his girlfriend would call and ask where he was and he would tell her the truth, and she would get upset and leave shortly after to appease her. She didn't like me. I initially tried my best to get on with her, but she didn't seem to have any personality at all. She just patiently sat around and watched us all have fun, didn't interact with us, didn't join in on conversation etc. SHE DIDN'T EVEN TRY. Eventually she stopped coming, and she stopped allowing him to come. She imposed rules on him - he could only see me if she was around. She was away at uni one year, and I was home on holiday. I invited him over for dinner. We talked (about his failing long distance relationship and his girlfriend's jealousy issues, about her inconsistency with him and how she was slowly draining him of the man he used to be) and we agreed that there was still a chance for him and me in the future, that maybe after all this we would be together. We laughed and joked, even played Worms Armageddon on our laptops. Watched TV, flirted, had a drink. My parents went to bed. We went swimming. We kissed. In that moment, my wish was fulfilled. I was satisfied. I glowed. I was happy to let him get on with his life, and I think he was happy to let me get on with mine. We talked slightly less over the next year or two, but still monthly at least. His girlfriend finished uni and moved back, she moved in with him. His brother told me how much his family hated the girlfriend and how much he wished I would date him instead. My family compared all my boyfriends to him. His friends begged me to take her place, she wouldn't let him go to social events with them anymore either. They said he was the wonderful man I knew him as when they were at work, but a completely different guy when 'that bitch' was around. He told me he loved me. Our talking monthly became an odd message once every few months, and then hardly ever. He told his girlfriend about me, and she imposed further restrictions, he wasn't allowed to message me, and she checked his phone daily. He once stopped by my house on the way back from work (he left early and my house is on the way) and she caught him. She phoned while he was at my house, and he admitted he was with me. He left instantly, with her in tears on the phone. He hadn't even been there five minutes. It has been 5 months since I heard from him, and I had a dream about him earlier this week, the first in years. I decided to message him, and with his reply came the hope that maybe one day there would be the chance. We messaged daily this week, while he was at work, clearing his messages before he got home, even though they were entirely innocent. His girlfriend just posted this on Facebook today.
I always find it hard to relate to stories like this. For me it always looks like part of the picture is missing. The way you tell it either a) his girlfriend is amazing and you're cherrypicking negative things about her that you hear from his family/friends or b) the guy you're into is a (emotional) moron. And thus not worth your time/affection anyway. There's no way a superduperawesome guy dates a horrible girl like you describe for years.
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On June 07 2014 06:20 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On June 06 2014 23:26 Grobyc wrote:On June 06 2014 22:54 farvacola wrote:
Sounds like boner or poop problems. Yeah... let's just say I probably drank a bit too much and my dick wasn't performing how I wanted. In all seriousness though, it really sucks. Maximum embarrassment. I've never been so disappointed in myself and I'm having a hard time shaking it off. If it makes you feel better, i snuck a girl over one night, well not really snuck i guess but didnt want anyone to wake up i guess. We were getting down to business, i had just got my dick in and thrusted a couple times when my dog wanted out of the room, i was like okay thats cool. shes like alright let him out and come back. let the dog out, get back on top repeat a couple thrusts when the dog wants outside. i was like "youre fucking kidding me right now" go let the dog outside and wait for him to come in(probably a minute total) walk back in shes like, "are we good now?" i told her "yeah should be" repeat yet again i get up get in then the dog starts whining wanting in my room. my face is as red as a stop sign bc if i dont get up and let him in he will bark until my mom walks in on me banging a pretty decent looking girl so for the 3rd time i stop and let the dog in. apologize profusely but shes just like whatever just fuck me and then we still end up having sex but she jokes about it the entire way home ._.
I think your dog doesn't want you to spend time with that girl.
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On June 07 2014 15:29 B.I.G. wrote:
I kinda have the same feeling as you. For example I know this girl and there definitely is mutual attraction but the fact that she lives like two hours away and we are both extremely busy made me decide to not even bother. At least for now.
2 hours only? You got this 
On June 07 2014 15:52 dravernor wrote:
Heh, I feel similarly to you. I suppose maybe not set on marrying the next guy I date, but I also want something serious. I am not even interested in random hook-ups etc. So I don't think you are wrong in knowing what you want and going for it. Just wait it out and see if you meet someone at school. Better to wait and find someone it might work with than just go with anyone I think.
Edit: I guess just don't rule out getting to know girls just because you are set on finding a specific type of person. Some of the more awesome people I have dated have been completely outside of my standard interest zone.
Ya sorry by date I meant an actual exclusive relationship. And yes I tell myself everyday to stay open minded!
On June 07 2014 17:25 Danglars wrote:
It sounds like you're done messing around. It's equally obvious that future girlfriends might be a bad match after the first two dates, but you wouldn't drag it out because its fun anymore. A word of caution about knowing yourself very well and what you want. If you've discovered 5 new, broad things about yourself that you won't shake, or patterns of attraction in women, don't think you're done understanding your own inner wants and inclinations. If you've gone 5 miles of self discovery after a lifetime of only making it 5 inches, there might be another 2 miles left to go, or another 10.
Yes I am done! And thanks for the word of caution. I'm only 24 still so I expect to learn a lot more.
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Netherlands6175 Posts
On June 07 2014 17:49 Monsen wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2014 01:04 dravernor wrote:Okay, time to vent a little. When I was 16 I met this amazing guy in boarding school. He and I became best friends. We spent all our lunch hours together, all our free periods. We would play games, help each other with homework, even make plans to see each other over the weekend. At the time I met him, he had just started dating a girl from another school. I remember being slightly upset about this at first because I started developing a crush on him. He and I spoke about it, and he admitted to liking me too, but he wanted to give his new relationship a chance. We continued to hang out. He eventually left school and went to do an apprenticeship down south. He and I emailed every day. We flirted, we shared, we joked. We sometimes even skyped. I gave up my lunch hours to write him emails. His girlfriend was my age and was still at school. They dated long distance, he came back once every few months and they spent his holiday together. Eventually I moved down south for uni too, and she moved up north. He and I still messaged every day. We still flirted, and talked about 'maybe one day'. I started dating, but I never forgot him. He was very much a part of my life, I kept wondering what it would be like to kiss him. I made it my mission that one day, ONE DAY I would kiss him. That was all I wanted. I vividly remember one night, we were at a party together. He wanted to show me a car that had parked at the end of the lane, so we walked down the road in the dark together, giving each other piggybacks, laughing, making stupid jokes about the potholes. And I remember he stopped and scooped me up in his arms, looking deep into my eyes by the light of the moon, and he pressed his nose against mine, our lips centimetres apart. And he told me he would always remember this moment. He finished his apprenticeship and moved back home to take up a job as an aviation engineer and pilot. I came home for my holidays and his girlfriend came home for hers at a different time of year. During the holidays he would spend time with both of us. My family loved him and often encouraged me to invite him for dinner or to family functions. When he did visit, 99% of the time his girlfriend would call and ask where he was and he would tell her the truth, and she would get upset and leave shortly after to appease her. She didn't like me. I initially tried my best to get on with her, but she didn't seem to have any personality at all. She just patiently sat around and watched us all have fun, didn't interact with us, didn't join in on conversation etc. SHE DIDN'T EVEN TRY. Eventually she stopped coming, and she stopped allowing him to come. She imposed rules on him - he could only see me if she was around. She was away at uni one year, and I was home on holiday. I invited him over for dinner. We talked (about his failing long distance relationship and his girlfriend's jealousy issues, about her inconsistency with him and how she was slowly draining him of the man he used to be) and we agreed that there was still a chance for him and me in the future, that maybe after all this we would be together. We laughed and joked, even played Worms Armageddon on our laptops. Watched TV, flirted, had a drink. My parents went to bed. We went swimming. We kissed. In that moment, my wish was fulfilled. I was satisfied. I glowed. I was happy to let him get on with his life, and I think he was happy to let me get on with mine. We talked slightly less over the next year or two, but still monthly at least. His girlfriend finished uni and moved back, she moved in with him. His brother told me how much his family hated the girlfriend and how much he wished I would date him instead. My family compared all my boyfriends to him. His friends begged me to take her place, she wouldn't let him go to social events with them anymore either. They said he was the wonderful man I knew him as when they were at work, but a completely different guy when 'that bitch' was around. He told me he loved me. Our talking monthly became an odd message once every few months, and then hardly ever. He told his girlfriend about me, and she imposed further restrictions, he wasn't allowed to message me, and she checked his phone daily. He once stopped by my house on the way back from work (he left early and my house is on the way) and she caught him. She phoned while he was at my house, and he admitted he was with me. He left instantly, with her in tears on the phone. He hadn't even been there five minutes. It has been 5 months since I heard from him, and I had a dream about him earlier this week, the first in years. I decided to message him, and with his reply came the hope that maybe one day there would be the chance. We messaged daily this week, while he was at work, clearing his messages before he got home, even though they were entirely innocent. His girlfriend just posted this on Facebook today. I always find it hard to relate to stories like this. For me it always looks like part of the picture is missing. The way you tell it either a) his girlfriend is amazing and you're cherrypicking negative things about her that you hear from his family/friends or b) the guy you're into is a (emotional) moron. And thus not worth your time/affection anyway. There's no way a superduperawesome guy dates a horrible girl like you describe for years.
Yeah, I am probably missing something. She must be really nice when she is with him, it is just not something I or his friends see.
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On June 07 2014 19:06 Titusmaster6 wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2014 15:29 B.I.G. wrote:
I kinda have the same feeling as you. For example I know this girl and there definitely is mutual attraction but the fact that she lives like two hours away and we are both extremely busy made me decide to not even bother. At least for now. 2 hours only? You got this
Haha thanks for the optimism... But this one is seriously not gonna work. Probably not enough attraction to force the situation right 
On a side note I have an opinion question for you guys: At what point if a girl is constantly joking about wanting to be your gf/wanting to marry you/kiss you do you start taking it serious? It's all fun and games now because I'm pretty sure it's a joke or do you guys think I'm being oblivious and should start working damage control?
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On June 08 2014 03:55 B.I.G. wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2014 19:06 Titusmaster6 wrote:On June 07 2014 15:29 B.I.G. wrote:
I kinda have the same feeling as you. For example I know this girl and there definitely is mutual attraction but the fact that she lives like two hours away and we are both extremely busy made me decide to not even bother. At least for now. 2 hours only? You got this Haha thanks for the optimism... But this one is seriously not gonna work. Probably not enough attraction to force the situation right On a side note I have an opinion question for you guys: At what point if a girl is constantly joking about wanting to be your gf/wanting to marry you/kiss you do you start taking it serious? It's all fun and games now because I'm pretty sure it's a joke or do you guys think I'm being oblivious and should start working damage control?
If you're interested in her I'd just ask her to hang out for a day and do something fun together in a one on one scenario. Towards the end I'd just ask her about her feelings of me, and express mine.
But that's me, and I would be totally cool with however she reacts. It wouldn't be a high stakes scenario. So the context would of course matter a lot, depending on what you want at this point in your life.
Edit: As some more perspective there was this girl in HS I was friends with that would do the same thing all the time. She was a year older than me, so upper classmen and I was a Sophomore. I could tell she liked me and I was definitely interested too, but she was pretty immature and didn't want to look silly in front of her friends for dating a small underclassmen. So one time I asked her about and she acted all weird, removed me from Facebook and we never spoke since. This is why I say what matters is what you want, for me I don't mind if the girl reacts in a retarded way, because if she does then I know for sure that there was no way anything could have happened, and I suddenly don't have anymore interest.
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On June 08 2014 03:55 B.I.G. wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2014 19:06 Titusmaster6 wrote:On June 07 2014 15:29 B.I.G. wrote:
I kinda have the same feeling as you. For example I know this girl and there definitely is mutual attraction but the fact that she lives like two hours away and we are both extremely busy made me decide to not even bother. At least for now. 2 hours only? You got this Haha thanks for the optimism... But this one is seriously not gonna work. Probably not enough attraction to force the situation right On a side note I have an opinion question for you guys: At what point if a girl is constantly joking about wanting to be your gf/wanting to marry you/kiss you do you start taking it serious? It's all fun and games now because I'm pretty sure it's a joke or do you guys think I'm being oblivious and should start working damage control?
Sounds like the ball is completely in your court. Handle it however you want. I don't think there's damage yet
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So here's my predicament. My best friend of 15 or so years has been really keen on me in the past. At that point in time I had a girlfriend (it was long distance and she didn't know - I kept it on the hush) so I rejected all of her advances, anyways we ended breaking up and I didn't really see my best friend in that kind of way still. Recently went to Europe, had a blast, came back, we had a chat, and I was a lot more open with her, but we both agreed we couldn't really have sex because it would just be too awkward for our parents (they are best friends as well) but over the past month I've found myself becoming more and more attracted to her, and she's one of the few girls I could legitimately see myself in a relationship with. We flirt so much and whenever we have lunch or dinner together she continually mentions she wants a fling with someone she knows or maybe a relationship. I'm really keen to try something out but also hesitant because of the situation of being best friends for so long and if our parents found out, it would kinda be awkward (or it could work out really well :D)
I'm thinking I just gotta go for it though, next time we're drinking or just next time we go out for dinner, lay it on the table?
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On June 08 2014 14:50 Sedzz wrote:
So here's my predicament. My best friend of 15 or so years has been really keen on me in the past. At that point in time I had a girlfriend (it was long distance and she didn't know - I kept it on the hush) so I rejected all of her advances, anyways we ended breaking up and I didn't really see my best friend in that kind of way still. Recently went to Europe, had a blast, came back, we had a chat, and I was a lot more open with her, but we both agreed we couldn't really have sex because it would just be too awkward for our parents (they are best friends as well) but over the past month I've found myself becoming more and more attracted to her, and she's one of the few girls I could legitimately see myself in a relationship with. We flirt so much and whenever we have lunch or dinner together she continually mentions she wants a fling with someone she knows or maybe a relationship. I'm really keen to try something out but also hesitant because of the situation of being best friends for so long and if our parents found out, it would kinda be awkward (or it could work out really well :D)
I'm thinking I just gotta go for it though, next time we're drinking or just next time we go out for dinner, lay it on the table?
Go for it. She seems interested and open to the idea obviously and probably harbors feelings for you still. Your parents being good friends makes it all the better if you actually get into a relationship together. Usually it's an awkward thing having to be forced to be friends with your child's bf/gf parents and hoping you actually get along.
It's hard finding someone period that you can be around you're entire life and not get bored or out of touch with over time. I myself only have 1 friend like that, met at 5yrs old and been best friends since, now 24yr. Good relationships start with a good friendship imo.
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On June 06 2014 15:42 LeeDawg wrote:
I had a very, very, good first date today with a girl I met online. The area I live is a bunch of cities all considered part of the same 'region' and she lives in a city somewhat far from the one I live in. I had to wake up a few hours earlier than I normally do and drive a half hour to meet her up there. She and I had texted a bit in the prior days, and had a full conversation in Spanish, a language she is fluent in and I know a decent amount in, and had a lot of common interests, so I had high hopes, but I know enough not to have any expectations. I don't know the city she lives in for shit, so I got a bit lost trying to find the place we were to meet, but I found it eventually. At first it was awkward since she was kind of quiet, but I had kind of high hopes, so I persisted. We had lunch, and then walked to the nearby park where we sat and watched the ducks in the pond for an hour or so. Conversation was good and, like I said, we had a good deal in common. It was really nice. I had a feeling she wanted me to make a move, but I have a policy against kissing people I just met, so I didn't. I wanted to stay a while longer, but I had to go to work, sadly, so we made plans to get together 'soon' so I can cook dinner for her (cooking is my passion) and we're going to watch princess bride, a mutual favorite movie. I texted her a little while ago to confirm that we can do it monday, and she seemed really excited. Sealed the deal with a bit of a corny joke. She wanted me to make thai food for her, since she's never had it. I called the potential date "Princess Thai'd." Puns are my specialty. I'm quite excited about all this, but doing my absolute best to stay realistic.
so, through sheer luck and my frustration at my job, last night, my manager let me go home a few hours early, in order to catch up on paper work etc. I happened to take this opportunity to meet up with the same girl yet again. We went out and got a drink. I bore in mind that the town she lives in is a notorious party town, but after one drink a piece, we ended up walking through the same park as a few days earlier. In a secluded corner, I kissed her for the first time, which was quite nice. Long story short, after I drove her home, I was pretty intent on walking her to her door, kissing her goodnight, and being on my way. She ended up bringing me indoors and next thing I knew it was 430 AM and we had had sex a few times. Now I have tomorrow off, and I'm still planning on cooking a very nice dinner and watching some princess bride and tonight's game of thrones. Still trying to keep real about shit, but for the first time in way too long I'm connecting with someone on a personal level that is really... real. I dunno, not trying to sound too 'teenager' since I'm almost halfway through my 20's, but I'm getting pretty optimistic about everything. We'll see. after my last girlfriend, I could use someone worth it.
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EPT
