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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
...THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU TO BE UNATTRACTIVE OTHER THEN YOUR OWN LAZINESS.
This is quite false for a lot of people.
On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
Steps to take:
1) Go the gym 4-6 times in a week. Learn how to excercise, learn how to lift weights. Do that. Get off your lazy butt and do it. Get in pristine shape, the best possible shape you could push yourself to.
Do not go to the gym 6 times a week, go 4 and workout correctly. Make sure you get enough sleep otherwise it's useless.
Also when you do weights do not let gravity do the work for you.
On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:3) Come back here and message me. I challenge ANYONE here to do what I just suggested, (getting in good shape and taking care of your looks) and show me that theyre still failing in the dating department. I guarantee you, right here right now, you will see what you have been missing all along.
One thing you haven't addressed is acne. How does one get rid of it? Let me guess you are going to say: Drink lots of water, change pillowcase every night (Skin Sensitive stuff), wash face twice a day (EL OH EL), drink pure organic home made vegetable juice? Don't smoke, don't drink, no sugar, almost no salt, fish oil, acv, no oily moisturiser, exercise, no oil in foods...etc etc. I bet you don't do all of that and yet have better skin than I, (Well I do drink socially).
You seem to think it's because people are larger than normal that they are unattractive, you missed another issue all together.
It's very hard to be attractive when you have pimples \ pimple scars everywhere, your face looks greasy and dry\cracked at the same time and no matter how hard you try you can't fix your skin.
Also, I have never asked a girl out and have had (After school):
3 one night stands.
2 dates, same girl. (She stopped the dates when she saw me dancing with some of her friends and a random chick a week after our second date  , I didn't know they were her friends)
These are my current statistics:
3.6% of the time I go out, I will have a one night stand.
1.2% of the time I go out, a girl will approach me. (Usually to dance)
1.2% of the time I go out, I will make only make out with a girl.
1.2% of the time I go out, I will make out with a girl, but she will have a boyfriend and get really upset.
1.2% of the time I go out, a girl will ask me on a date a 4-5 days later. (Although where I have to make all the plans >_<)
91.6% of the time I go out, nothing will happen with a girl.
I don't know why girls even come after me, it makes no sense.
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On February 02 2012 21:17 MrToasty wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
...THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU TO BE UNATTRACTIVE OTHER THEN YOUR OWN LAZINESS.
This is quite false for a lot of people. Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
Steps to take:
1) Go the gym 4-6 times in a week. Learn how to excercise, learn how to lift weights. Do that. Get off your lazy butt and do it. Get in pristine shape, the best possible shape you could push yourself to. Do not go to the gym 6 times a week, go 4 and workout correctly. Make sure you get enough sleep otherwise it's useless. Also when you do weights do not let gravity do the work for you. Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:3) Come back here and message me. I challenge ANYONE here to do what I just suggested, (getting in good shape and taking care of your looks) and show me that theyre still failing in the dating department. I guarantee you, right here right now, you will see what you have been missing all along. One thing you haven't addressed is acne. How does one get rid of it? Let me guess you are going to say: Drink lots of water, change pillowcase every night (Skin Sensitive stuff), wash face twice a day (EL OH EL), drink pure organic home made vegetable juice? Don't smoke, don't drink, no sugar, almost no salt, fish oil, acv, no oily moisturiser, exercise, no oil in foods...etc etc. I bet you don't do all of that and yet have better skin than I, (Well I do drink socially). You seem to think it's because people are larger than normal that they are unattractive, you missed another issue all together. It's very hard to be attractive when you have pimples \ pimple scars everywhere, your face looks greasy and dry\cracked at the same time and no matter how hard you try you can't fix your skin. Also, I have never asked a girl out and have had (After school): 3 one night stands. 2 dates, same girl. (She stopped the dates when she saw me dancing with some of her friends and a random chick a week after our second date , I didn't know they were her friends) These are my current statistics: 3.6% of the time I go out, I will have a one night stand. 1.2% of the time I go out, a girl will approach me. (Usually to dance) 1.2% of the time I go out, I will make only make out with a girl. 1.2% of the time I go out, I will make out with a girl, but she will have a boyfriend and get really upset. 1.2% of the time I go out, a girl will ask me on a date a 4-5 days later. (Although where I have to make all the plans >_<) 91.6% of the time I go out, nothing will happen with a girl. I don't know why girls even come after me, it makes no sense.
Im only here to point out how scary it is that you keep statistics of this. Also, I dont think that almost 1/10 is that bad. Cheers to you mate.
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My dating life is currently non-existent. But for the first time in nearly a year I have a little crush on someone >.< I'm pretty sure he digs me too but idk guess I have to wait and see what happens.
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I'm still in love with a girl 3500 miles away. Can't see things working out. C'est la vie.
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On February 02 2012 21:17 MrToasty wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
...THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU TO BE UNATTRACTIVE OTHER THEN YOUR OWN LAZINESS.
This is quite false for a lot of people. Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
Steps to take:
1) Go the gym 4-6 times in a week. Learn how to excercise, learn how to lift weights. Do that. Get off your lazy butt and do it. Get in pristine shape, the best possible shape you could push yourself to. Do not go to the gym 6 times a week, go 4 and workout correctly. Make sure you get enough sleep otherwise it's useless. Also when you do weights do not let gravity do the work for you. Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:3) Come back here and message me. I challenge ANYONE here to do what I just suggested, (getting in good shape and taking care of your looks) and show me that theyre still failing in the dating department. I guarantee you, right here right now, you will see what you have been missing all along. One thing you haven't addressed is acne. How does one get rid of it? Let me guess you are going to say: Drink lots of water, change pillowcase every night (Skin Sensitive stuff), wash face twice a day (EL OH EL), drink pure organic home made vegetable juice? Don't smoke, don't drink, no sugar, almost no salt, fish oil, acv, no oily moisturiser, exercise, no oil in foods...etc etc. I bet you don't do all of that and yet have better skin than I, (Well I do drink socially). You seem to think it's because people are larger than normal that they are unattractive, you missed another issue all together. It's very hard to be attractive when you have pimples \ pimple scars everywhere, your face looks greasy and dry\cracked at the same time and no matter how hard you try you can't fix your skin. Also, I have never asked a girl out and have had (After school): 3 one night stands. 2 dates, same girl. (She stopped the dates when she saw me dancing with some of her friends and a random chick a week after our second date , I didn't know they were her friends) These are my current statistics: 3.6% of the time I go out, I will have a one night stand. 1.2% of the time I go out, a girl will approach me. (Usually to dance) 1.2% of the time I go out, I will make only make out with a girl. 1.2% of the time I go out, I will make out with a girl, but she will have a boyfriend and get really upset. 1.2% of the time I go out, a girl will ask me on a date a 4-5 days later. (Although where I have to make all the plans >_<) 91.6% of the time I go out, nothing will happen with a girl. I don't know why girls even come after me, it makes no sense.
Hahaha, I love how you have your stats.
We should make a TL dating thread ELO
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On February 02 2012 22:36 FaZe wrote:Show nested quote +On February 02 2012 21:17 MrToasty wrote:On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
...THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU TO BE UNATTRACTIVE OTHER THEN YOUR OWN LAZINESS.
This is quite false for a lot of people. On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:
Steps to take:
1) Go the gym 4-6 times in a week. Learn how to excercise, learn how to lift weights. Do that. Get off your lazy butt and do it. Get in pristine shape, the best possible shape you could push yourself to. Do not go to the gym 6 times a week, go 4 and workout correctly. Make sure you get enough sleep otherwise it's useless. Also when you do weights do not let gravity do the work for you. On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote:3) Come back here and message me. I challenge ANYONE here to do what I just suggested, (getting in good shape and taking care of your looks) and show me that theyre still failing in the dating department. I guarantee you, right here right now, you will see what you have been missing all along. One thing you haven't addressed is acne. How does one get rid of it? Let me guess you are going to say: Drink lots of water, change pillowcase every night (Skin Sensitive stuff), wash face twice a day (EL OH EL), drink pure organic home made vegetable juice? Don't smoke, don't drink, no sugar, almost no salt, fish oil, acv, no oily moisturiser, exercise, no oil in foods...etc etc. I bet you don't do all of that and yet have better skin than I, (Well I do drink socially). You seem to think it's because people are larger than normal that they are unattractive, you missed another issue all together. It's very hard to be attractive when you have pimples \ pimple scars everywhere, your face looks greasy and dry\cracked at the same time and no matter how hard you try you can't fix your skin. Also, I have never asked a girl out and have had (After school): 3 one night stands. 2 dates, same girl. (She stopped the dates when she saw me dancing with some of her friends and a random chick a week after our second date , I didn't know they were her friends) These are my current statistics: 3.6% of the time I go out, I will have a one night stand. 1.2% of the time I go out, a girl will approach me. (Usually to dance) 1.2% of the time I go out, I will make only make out with a girl. 1.2% of the time I go out, I will make out with a girl, but she will have a boyfriend and get really upset. 1.2% of the time I go out, a girl will ask me on a date a 4-5 days later. (Although where I have to make all the plans >_<) 91.6% of the time I go out, nothing will happen with a girl. I don't know why girls even come after me, it makes no sense. Hahaha, I love how you have your stats. We should make a TL dating thread ELO
I sincerely approve of this and will start on my stats from now on. We will beat it with science.
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i am happy with my anime girls.
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Five months into it... I dare say I'm doing fine.
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Well after three relationships that ended, pretty sour to say the very very least, this is my take on the situation.
![[image loading]](http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/001/333/jd.jpg)
It would take a 7000 word blog post to really explaine everything. But what i learnt is Carpe diem. Be decisive.
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I think people here overestimate the importance girls put in looks. First of all, IMO there are few people that are actually naturally ugly. Usually the main problem is neglect. On top of that, I know people that are just downright ugly but they just have so much swag they still get the hot girls and guys. I will never pretend I am a baller at dating, but there are some basic things that are just common sense:
1)Get yo swag on.
Take care of how you look. There is a difference between being metrosexual as fuck and making sure that you are clean, shaved and wearing nice clothes. No girl that is to be taken serious will ever fall for just looks. The point is not to try and attract women with your appearance like your some goddamn bird, but to not be repulsive. Even a guy that has really bad skin (Acne for example) can still look good if he just makes sure to look crisp and clean every day. Also going to the gym is never a bad idea.
2) Be an interesting person.
No girl is gonna come to you if all you do is lie on the couch and play video games in your free time. Have ambitions and dreams, work on something special or whatever. Just as with friends, people tend to have more respect for the man with the plan. Nooone is more uninteresting then people who do not have any kind of ambition and are just throwing their lives away until the moment comes when they really HAVE to make some new choice again (like when you graduate or something).
3) Don't be awkward.
Go and talk to people. Get out there, don't be afraid to talk to that pretty girl. Be confident that any girl that dates you is the one who is lucky, not the other way around.
And for those who manage to get girlfriends but don't manage to on to them: The biggest mistake I see people make is doing nothing special with their girl. A friend of mine got dumped by his gf of 2 years. When I asked him how they used to spend their time together the answer was sitting on the couch watching TV 99% of the time for a couple a days a week. Relationships between people get stronger because of experiences. The reason I'm so close with my friends is because we experienced a lot of fun, crazy and sad shit together. The same goes for your gf. Don't just sit on the couch all day every day but take her somewhere special. It doesn't have to be anything expensive, just make sure its something special or unique that will make you remember that moment together.
Well, those were my words of wisdom, I hope someone finds it useful.
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On February 02 2012 23:02 B.I.G. wrote:
I think people here overestimate the importance girls put in looks. First of all, IMO there are few people that are actually naturally ugly. Usually the main problem is neglect. On top of that, I know people that are just downright ugly but they just have so much swag they still get the hot girls and guys. I will never pretend I am a baller at dating, but there are some basic things that are just common sense:
1)Get yo swag on.
Take care of how you look. There is a difference between being metrosexual as fuck and making sure that you are clean, shaved and wearing nice clothes. No girl that is to be taken serious will ever fall for just looks. The point is not to try and attract women with your appearance like your some goddamn bird, but to not be repulsive. Even a guy that has really bad skin (Acne for example) can still look good if he just makes sure to look crisp and clean every day. Also going to the gym is never a bad idea.
2) Be an interesting person.
No girl is gonna come to you if all you do is lie on the couch and play video games in your free time. Have ambitions and dreams, work on something special or whatever. Just as with friends, people tend to have more respect for the man with the plan. Nooone is more uninteresting then people who do not have any kind of ambition and are just throwing their lives away until the moment comes when they really HAVE to make some new choice again (like when you graduate or something).
3) Don't be awkward.
Go and talk to people. Get out there, don't be afraid to talk to that pretty girl. Be confident that any girl that dates you is the one who is lucky, not the other way around.
And for those who manage to get girlfriends but don't manage to on to them: The biggest mistake I see people make is doing nothing special with their girl. A friend of mine got dumped by his gf of 2 years. When I asked him how they used to spend their time together the answer was sitting on the couch watching TV 99% of the time for a couple a days a week. Relationships between people get stronger because of experiences. The reason I'm so close with my friends is because we experienced a lot of fun, crazy and sad shit together. The same goes for your gf. Don't just sit on the couch all day every day but take her somewhere special. It doesn't have to be anything expensive, just make sure its something special or unique that will make you remember that moment together.
Well, those were my words of wisdom, I hope someone finds it useful.
Everything that this gentleman has said, plus dont flirt with their friends and pay them compliments at least twice a month.
Try and take an interest in the things that they value, even if you dont
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On February 02 2012 23:10 CursedRich wrote:Show nested quote +On February 02 2012 23:02 B.I.G. wrote:
I think people here overestimate the importance girls put in looks. First of all, IMO there are few people that are actually naturally ugly. Usually the main problem is neglect. On top of that, I know people that are just downright ugly but they just have so much swag they still get the hot girls and guys. I will never pretend I am a baller at dating, but there are some basic things that are just common sense:
1)Get yo swag on.
Take care of how you look. There is a difference between being metrosexual as fuck and making sure that you are clean, shaved and wearing nice clothes. No girl that is to be taken serious will ever fall for just looks. The point is not to try and attract women with your appearance like your some goddamn bird, but to not be repulsive. Even a guy that has really bad skin (Acne for example) can still look good if he just makes sure to look crisp and clean every day. Also going to the gym is never a bad idea.
2) Be an interesting person.
No girl is gonna come to you if all you do is lie on the couch and play video games in your free time. Have ambitions and dreams, work on something special or whatever. Just as with friends, people tend to have more respect for the man with the plan. Nooone is more uninteresting then people who do not have any kind of ambition and are just throwing their lives away until the moment comes when they really HAVE to make some new choice again (like when you graduate or something).
3) Don't be awkward.
Go and talk to people. Get out there, don't be afraid to talk to that pretty girl. Be confident that any girl that dates you is the one who is lucky, not the other way around.
And for those who manage to get girlfriends but don't manage to on to them: The biggest mistake I see people make is doing nothing special with their girl. A friend of mine got dumped by his gf of 2 years. When I asked him how they used to spend their time together the answer was sitting on the couch watching TV 99% of the time for a couple a days a week. Relationships between people get stronger because of experiences. The reason I'm so close with my friends is because we experienced a lot of fun, crazy and sad shit together. The same goes for your gf. Don't just sit on the couch all day every day but take her somewhere special. It doesn't have to be anything expensive, just make sure its something special or unique that will make you remember that moment together.
Well, those were my words of wisdom, I hope someone finds it useful. Everything that this gentleman has said, plus dont flirt with their friends and pay them compliments at least twice a month. Try and take an interest in the things that they value, even if you dont
All of this is true, I can add that you should think that it's never too late to start working on these important things. It does not matter if you are dating someone or not, neither your age or social status, looking good and being someone interesting is common sense (as B.I.G. has said), and it'll help you have a better social life in general.
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Dating... not sure if we are the minority but here in Sweden ''dating'' doesn't really exist in the same sense as in USA Here (from a teenagers view) you don't really ask some one out (in any case it's extremely rare) you simply go to the same parties as your crush and attempt to hook up there ^_^ Reversed process, but if all goes well you'll start to hang out after that, and in the worst case (if nothing happened) you have an incentive to speak to him/her during school
Kinda OT, but since I've started drinking (3 years ago) the ''game'' has gotten really lazy... I remember pre-alcohol days when getting someone to like you/hook up was a really drawn out process that required skills.. nowadays as long as I'm semi-drunk ( I need some shots of jäger/beer to get in the zone, kinda pathetic ^^) hooking up with a hot chick that is equally hammered is rather simple.... the drawbacks of this are that even though you reached second/third base last saturday when you were both drunk, it doesn't mean anything when everything gets back to normal...
Just my thoughts ^^
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On February 02 2012 23:49 Coal wrote:Dating... not sure if we are the minority but here in Sweden ''dating'' doesn't really exist in the same sense as in USA Here (from a teenagers view) you don't really ask some one out (in any case it's extremely rare) you simply go to the same parties as your crush and attempt to hook up there ^_^ Reversed process, but if all goes well you'll start to hang out after that, and in the worst case (if nothing happened) you have an incentive to speak to him/her during school Kinda OT, but since I've started drinking (3 years ago) the ''game'' has gotten really lazy... I remember pre-alcohol days when getting someone to like you/hook up was a really drawn out process that required skills.. nowadays as long as I'm semi-drunk ( I need some shots of jäger/beer to get in the zone, kinda pathetic ^^) hooking up with a hot chick that is equally hammered is rather simple.... the drawbacks of this are that even though you reached second/third base last saturday when you were both drunk, it doesn't mean anything when everything gets back to normal... Just my thoughts ^^
No, we go to college too
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break up with gf, start going to gym again, feel like a pussy magnet, not bad not bad
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Be confident, no fear of fucking up and you will just come across as yourself if shes interested shell let you know if not no big deal, move on to next available girl. The worst thing you can do is over think something or have feelings for a girl and wait to tell her, this is the way people get "friend zoned" and stay single for a very long time. Its best to tell her right away or after more time spent with her so you don't waste the potential you have for finding other girls. Also the longer you sit around with your "secret crush" the more you put her on a pedestal, the more crushing the defeat if she says no. Simply put stop wasting time. Sitting around waiting for it to happen wont happen.
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Lost my girl in November after almost 5 years together. Probably a month later a girl I went to highschool with(I am 23) starts talking to me out of the blue. We hit it off, went on a few dates and had sex a couple times. She moved about 30 minutes away and invited me over to her appartment we got way too drunk and engaged in some other questionable activities then had sex again.During and after the sex I guess I was talking about my ex and a bunch of other things I shouldn't have been talking about. Problem is I dont remember a single word for this like 2 hour span in the night and now she wont talk to me at all.
Moral of the story is dont expect them all to work out I went from a 5 year serious relationship where I was trying to figure out the girls ring size to ruining something in less than a month. Keep your chin up and keep trying you will find someone out there in the wide world.
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I can't say I bother too much with dating, because:
1. I'm a boring person. Ok, that's not completely true, but I enjoy video games, hockey, as well as some other sports ( & Cats! :D ), but that's about it. I do tell a LOT of lame puns, but most of my friends learn to ignore the bad ones. I'm kind of scared of going out in the whole wide world alone, but I'll do it if it's for something I really have a passion for (Such as DHW11), and I don't really go out to party a lot.
Why don't I go partying? Well, I live in a small hole called Älmhult, with very limited nightlife. I also don't enjoy drinking very much, I prefer coke (what a gamer, right?), the music played on clubs doesn't really suit my taste (I prefer Rock, Punk & Metal), and most parties spiral out of control and I, as the only sober person, must deal with it. Not fun, trust me.
2. My self-esteem's about as low as can get. I feel as if I'm behind most of the time, be it looks or physical performance. Part of this is because I have asthma, so I'm not that good with physical exercises. I also think I look bad, which kind of is a by-product of my asthma. I'm also allergic to fur (which prompted my brother to make sure his girlfriends have all had riding as an interest, true story), so I can't say I have much of a chance of hooking up with a girl who's crazy for animals (like a lot of them are)
And finally, the perhaps most ridiculous reason of them all:
3. I don't want to go out with anyone without being able to properly support them. Now this may sound as if I'm already preparing to spend my whole life with one person, which I may very well do, but it's just that I feel as if I'm not a competent enough person to date somebody, since I might not always be able to help her out.
As of now, I've had few encounters with love, never had a girlfriend (surprise!), so I'm just chilling and enjoying my everyday life. I'm completely fine without love, but it'd be awesome to have somebody you love, so please treasure your respective others!
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On February 02 2012 22:18 Phyrful wrote:
I'm still in love with a girl 3500 miles away. Can't see things working out. C'est la vie.
im with you in the same boat. sadly 
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EPT
