So I guess the summary of my post is terrible past/ happy present? Heh, I'll take it.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 47
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
Wafflelisk
Canada1061 Posts
So I guess the summary of my post is terrible past/ happy present? Heh, I'll take it. | ||
stevarius
United States1394 Posts
11 months this month. She's geeky and fun like me, but getting her to play games is still a challenge... | ||
Hoban
United States1600 Posts
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QNdie
Poland210 Posts
Love fucking sucks, not touching a girl or anything for a looooooooooong time I feel | ||
AcTiVillain
Australia81 Posts
Cost me less than $8 and 15 minutes of preparation + Show Spoiler + ![]() Thats how you do it guys! | ||
Rebel_lion
United States271 Posts
2. Convince self "she" is perfect, the one, whatever. 3. ????? 4. FUCK! sadness convince self it was your fault. 5. Try again, more jaded or 1. Have sex 2. Maybe call later 3. either jump to #1 on other scale or save self trouble and just don't 4. be more jaded. love sucks. That is basically my best explanation for my process. not so good, but I'm a sucker for punishment | ||
Fishgle
United States2174 Posts
On February 02 2012 16:30 ticklishmusic wrote: Here's my story. God it sounds corny, and I wrote it in third person too. Feels good to vent though. + Show Spoiler + One upon a time in the distant land of California, there lived a boy named Ticklishmusic. After a storm which drove him from his home (reference to Hurricane Katrina), he went to live with his aunt in the town of Thousand Oaks. It was a sunny, pleasant place, except for his extremely strict and rather overbearing compulsive aunt and his prodigy cousins. At the end of the first semester, he left Thousand Oaks with his family, bidding farewell to his friends. He went across California to the Bay Area. The family found a house in the tiny city of Albany, slightly south of UC Berkeley which was actually bigger than the town. And the dad went off to work, the mom “cleaned the house”, and Ticklishmusic went to school. At school, Ticklishmusic quickly made friends. He became part of a patchwork quilt of students from all sorts of backgrounds: rich, poor. Happy, depressed. Athletic, not athletic. Smart, not-so-smart. After a month or two, it was as if he had been there all his life. He could barely remember his real home. Among the many people Ticklishmusic hnug out with was a boy named Ezra. The two sat together in Spanish class, and walked several blocks in the same direction together after school. And they were friends. There was also The girl. She and Ticklishmusic were both on the track team, and had PE and Algebra I together. After track practice, they would walk home together as well. And it became kind of a joke amongst the group of friends that the two hung out together so much. Slowly as these things went, Ticklishmusic and The girl spent more time together. Every morning, Ticklishmusic arranged it so his route would cross The girl’s and they would walk to school together. And at lunch, they sat next to each other. And of course, they walked home together. And the jokes continued, but they took it; the jokes had some truth in them after all. Ticklishmusic liked The girl, and The girl liked him too. But since they were in seventh grade, it stayed that way for awhile. And perhaps it would have stayed that way, for Ticklishmusic had little time left in Albany. Then nearing the end of the year, there was a dance at school. So Ticklishmusic asked The girl to go “as friends” with the rest of their peoples. And so they did. It was May 13. For several hours, they sat in the bleachers with other friends and chatted and laughed. And they also got up and danced with their friends in a big group. And it was fun. Finally, the dance neared its end. And the DJ put on a slow song. From where they sat, Ticklishmusic gathered up his courage and nudged The girl and asked for a dance. And they snuck away from the mass of laughing, chatting friends to the other, darker side of the gym. And they danced. First they did the awkward shoulder arm thing, then settled into a… err… more comfortable position. In his mind, Ticklishmusic went over many things and finally opened his mouth to say something. But, Ezra suddenly popped up, waving his cell phone above the couple’s heads in an irritating, intruding manner. And he ooh’d and ahh’d and called over the other friends. And Ticklishmusic and The girl stepped back from each other (the song was almost over) and smiled sheepishly and laughed too. Ticklishmusic never got to say what he wanted to say. Ticklishmusic and The girl hung out plenty for the rest of the year. A big party was thrown for him when he left. Atop Albany Rock, the highest point in the town, they said “I guess this is goodbye,” and impulsively, had their first kiss. They hugged and bid farewell to each other and promised to keep in contact. And that was it. For several weeks into the summer, they talked often. And one day, Ticklishmusic called, and no one picked up. And the calls stopped. For three years, it was as if they had never met and never known one another. Ticklishmusic began to wonder if it had actually happened, then locked his memories of California into a box and hid the key. And he hobbled his way through everyday life and smiled. Well, there were good days and bad days. From his sole remaining contact to California, Michael, he discovered that Ezra and The girl began going out on July 6. And Ticklishmusic was sad. But they quickly broke up. And Ticklishmusic was less sad. After three years, a thousand days, The girl finally called. When Ticklishmusic took his cell phone from his pocket, he thought he was dreaming. But he picked up. And the box of memories opened. And his phone bill went from an average of 700 minutes to 1300 for January. After several days of renewed contact, The girl explained why the calls had stopped. Turned out, Ezra had mentioned something to her about Ticklishmusic never liking her. Obviously, it was quite devastating and he, Ezra, had played the sympathetic one. And thusly, they went out. But only for a short time. Hearing this, Ticklishmusic chucked his phone at the wall/bed. And then went to pick it up and explain. (somehow, the phone didn’t shut off) There was a lot of awkward silence. But the next day, they talked again and there were a lot of what-might-have-beens that whizzed through Ticklishmusic’s head. And through a series of complicated circumstances involving the economy, The girl’s dad decided to move the family back to Taiwan. Though years passed and high school happened, they kept in touch. It was a difficult time and space difference, but they managed to keep in contact. They shared stories of their lives, and Ticklishmusic skyped late into the night. But, they never defined exactly what the relationship was between them. Ticklishmusic left the box locked, and they were friends, siblings… something. Outside of those emails, old-fashioned letters and video calls, life went on. They succeeded in high school, making the top of their classes, and joining many clubs and having lots of fun with new friends. They dated other people, yet for Ticklishmusic, something never quite felt right. Every girl he dated, after that initial flare of passion, felt strangely distant. They were all nice, they were fairly pretty too as Ticklishmusic had some standards, but something was… missing. “Is this love?” he asked himself. And in the end, that doubt led to the ruin of his relationships. And then he asked himself “Is this sadness?” At the best, he was a wet blankie for several girls (and a few guy friends as well). And so life went on. Finally, graduation came. Ticklishmusic tossed his mortarboard, and his family went to Taiwan to visit the grandparents. Ticklishmusic was delighted to visit Taiwan—he had great memories of the sights, and all his cousins and his wonderful grandmother who had made him delicious things to eat. His Chinese was not so good anymore, but that was no big deal. It was Taiwan. Taipei. The city he perhaps loved the most in the world. And this time, the stakes were higher, for The girl was there as well. One day, they decided to hang out. Taipei 101 was the location. Ticklishmusic told his family that he was going to take a walk through the city as he often did, and left his grandparents’ apartment. He caught a bus and went to Taipei 101, his stomach filled with butterflies. Ticklishmusic arrived several minutes early and sat down on a bench. He watched the people moving across the plaza, until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He whirled around, and there stood his friend from seventh grade. Despite the frequent facebooking and video calls, he had not realized how much she had changed, for he his mental image had been static. Indeed, despite years of calculus, biology and English, they were much the same kids they were in a place long ago called California. Except that she was heart-breakingly beautiful to him, as opposed to the “pretty cute” from seventh grade. And so, they wandered the city together. They chatted like the old friends they were, and had much fun. They caught Pirates of the Carribean, a terrible movie, annoying the many other people who had come to see it with their whispered criticism. They wandered through, generally acting ridiculously. The box of memories was dusted off, and the key was placed in the keyhole and turned. The sun set, its last light turned Taipei 101 into a blood-red pillar above the city. So, it was time for dinner. They found a small traditional café, which had probably been there for a hundred years that neither would probably visit again. The girl produced some grape juice, and the two began to eat and drink. As Ticklishmusic took the first sip, he noticed it tasted funny—it tasted like grape juice and vodka! Oh well. Carpe diem. The drinking age in Taiwan was 18. He kept drinking anyways. By the end of the meal, the two were quite tipsy. Grape juice and vodka is not particularly strong, but many Asian people apparently, including Ticklishmusic and The girl, have a gene that makes alcohol processing hard for the body—they had not so good alcohol tolerance. It was dark, and so they headed off to the park. They procured a kite from somewhere and flew it until they managed to lose it, then zig zagged across the park before lying down side by side in the grass under a tree atop a hill. It was a bit damp and chilly, and so they huddled close together. The girl turned her head, and Ticklishmusic kissed her. They separated, and as Ticklishmusic looked into her eyes, he knew that he was in love with her, and had been for seven years. And after all those years, damn right he told her that. That feeling, that moment when the universe and all the world will stop for you, is love. We made out for awhile, then remained cuddled. I asked her what would become of us. We agreed that given the distance between us, that we should willingly walk the paths before us. It might lead to each other once more, it might not. And we would walk, and not look back. Letting go of her was perhaps the most difficult thing in my life. I was crying most of the way back. I flew back home a few weeks later. We kept in touch. We went to college- me in Georgia, her in Taipei. There were many attractive (Asian) girls at my school, but past physical attractiveness, I wasn’t interested really. I had my own private sorrow, happiness, I wasn’t sure which. About a week ago, she went to the doctor for a more or less routine checkup. She hadn’t been feeling too well. The doctor did his tests, and found something a bit funny. Cancer was the word, though he wasn’t quite sure what kind. T-cell-prolymphocytic leukemia was the diagnosis, and the path she would walk away from him on. tl;dr girl and me liked each other since seventh grade, moved far away from each other but kept in contact, finally saw each other and realized we were in love. we agreed to go on with our lives, regardless of where they took us, then found out she has cancer. now i'm depressed. ![]() | ||
n.DieJokes
United States3443 Posts
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Hyst3ria
United States167 Posts
![]() He's the one next to machine obviously. They are so cute together. Right now I feel like he doesn't know how I feel so it's kind of at that friend zone stage. I don't like this stage because I've been there so many times and I have difficulty moving past it. Any advice people? I believe his TL account is HelloKittySS. Thanks and have a nice day everyone! | ||
CaptainCharisma
New Zealand808 Posts
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n.DieJokes
United States3443 Posts
On February 02 2012 18:17 CaptainCharisma wrote: Is it OK it date a girl 5 years younger than you? imo, not if you're younger than 24 | ||
Hamsterdam
New Zealand59 Posts
On February 02 2012 16:30 ticklishmusic wrote: Here's my story. God it sounds corny, and I wrote it in third person too. Feels good to vent though. + Show Spoiler + One upon a time in the distant land of California, there lived a boy named Ticklishmusic. After a storm which drove him from his home (reference to Hurricane Katrina), he went to live with his aunt in the town of Thousand Oaks. It was a sunny, pleasant place, except for his extremely strict and rather overbearing compulsive aunt and his prodigy cousins. At the end of the first semester, he left Thousand Oaks with his family, bidding farewell to his friends. He went across California to the Bay Area. The family found a house in the tiny city of Albany, slightly south of UC Berkeley which was actually bigger than the town. And the dad went off to work, the mom “cleaned the house”, and Ticklishmusic went to school. At school, Ticklishmusic quickly made friends. He became part of a patchwork quilt of students from all sorts of backgrounds: rich, poor. Happy, depressed. Athletic, not athletic. Smart, not-so-smart. After a month or two, it was as if he had been there all his life. He could barely remember his real home. Among the many people Ticklishmusic hnug out with was a boy named Ezra. The two sat together in Spanish class, and walked several blocks in the same direction together after school. And they were friends. There was also The girl. She and Ticklishmusic were both on the track team, and had PE and Algebra I together. After track practice, they would walk home together as well. And it became kind of a joke amongst the group of friends that the two hung out together so much. Slowly as these things went, Ticklishmusic and The girl spent more time together. Every morning, Ticklishmusic arranged it so his route would cross The girl’s and they would walk to school together. And at lunch, they sat next to each other. And of course, they walked home together. And the jokes continued, but they took it; the jokes had some truth in them after all. Ticklishmusic liked The girl, and The girl liked him too. But since they were in seventh grade, it stayed that way for awhile. And perhaps it would have stayed that way, for Ticklishmusic had little time left in Albany. Then nearing the end of the year, there was a dance at school. So Ticklishmusic asked The girl to go “as friends” with the rest of their peoples. And so they did. It was May 13. For several hours, they sat in the bleachers with other friends and chatted and laughed. And they also got up and danced with their friends in a big group. And it was fun. Finally, the dance neared its end. And the DJ put on a slow song. From where they sat, Ticklishmusic gathered up his courage and nudged The girl and asked for a dance. And they snuck away from the mass of laughing, chatting friends to the other, darker side of the gym. And they danced. First they did the awkward shoulder arm thing, then settled into a… err… more comfortable position. In his mind, Ticklishmusic went over many things and finally opened his mouth to say something. But, Ezra suddenly popped up, waving his cell phone above the couple’s heads in an irritating, intruding manner. And he ooh’d and ahh’d and called over the other friends. And Ticklishmusic and The girl stepped back from each other (the song was almost over) and smiled sheepishly and laughed too. Ticklishmusic never got to say what he wanted to say. Ticklishmusic and The girl hung out plenty for the rest of the year. A big party was thrown for him when he left. Atop Albany Rock, the highest point in the town, they said “I guess this is goodbye,” and impulsively, had their first kiss. They hugged and bid farewell to each other and promised to keep in contact. And that was it. For several weeks into the summer, they talked often. And one day, Ticklishmusic called, and no one picked up. And the calls stopped. For three years, it was as if they had never met and never known one another. Ticklishmusic began to wonder if it had actually happened, then locked his memories of California into a box and hid the key. And he hobbled his way through everyday life and smiled. Well, there were good days and bad days. From his sole remaining contact to California, Michael, he discovered that Ezra and The girl began going out on July 6. And Ticklishmusic was sad. But they quickly broke up. And Ticklishmusic was less sad. After three years, a thousand days, The girl finally called. When Ticklishmusic took his cell phone from his pocket, he thought he was dreaming. But he picked up. And the box of memories opened. And his phone bill went from an average of 700 minutes to 1300 for January. After several days of renewed contact, The girl explained why the calls had stopped. Turned out, Ezra had mentioned something to her about Ticklishmusic never liking her. Obviously, it was quite devastating and he, Ezra, had played the sympathetic one. And thusly, they went out. But only for a short time. Hearing this, Ticklishmusic chucked his phone at the wall/bed. And then went to pick it up and explain. (somehow, the phone didn’t shut off) There was a lot of awkward silence. But the next day, they talked again and there were a lot of what-might-have-beens that whizzed through Ticklishmusic’s head. And through a series of complicated circumstances involving the economy, The girl’s dad decided to move the family back to Taiwan. Though years passed and high school happened, they kept in touch. It was a difficult time and space difference, but they managed to keep in contact. They shared stories of their lives, and Ticklishmusic skyped late into the night. But, they never defined exactly what the relationship was between them. Ticklishmusic left the box locked, and they were friends, siblings… something. Outside of those emails, old-fashioned letters and video calls, life went on. They succeeded in high school, making the top of their classes, and joining many clubs and having lots of fun with new friends. They dated other people, yet for Ticklishmusic, something never quite felt right. Every girl he dated, after that initial flare of passion, felt strangely distant. They were all nice, they were fairly pretty too as Ticklishmusic had some standards, but something was… missing. “Is this love?” he asked himself. And in the end, that doubt led to the ruin of his relationships. And then he asked himself “Is this sadness?” At the best, he was a wet blankie for several girls (and a few guy friends as well). And so life went on. Finally, graduation came. Ticklishmusic tossed his mortarboard, and his family went to Taiwan to visit the grandparents. Ticklishmusic was delighted to visit Taiwan—he had great memories of the sights, and all his cousins and his wonderful grandmother who had made him delicious things to eat. His Chinese was not so good anymore, but that was no big deal. It was Taiwan. Taipei. The city he perhaps loved the most in the world. And this time, the stakes were higher, for The girl was there as well. One day, they decided to hang out. Taipei 101 was the location. Ticklishmusic told his family that he was going to take a walk through the city as he often did, and left his grandparents’ apartment. He caught a bus and went to Taipei 101, his stomach filled with butterflies. Ticklishmusic arrived several minutes early and sat down on a bench. He watched the people moving across the plaza, until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He whirled around, and there stood his friend from seventh grade. Despite the frequent facebooking and video calls, he had not realized how much she had changed, for he his mental image had been static. Indeed, despite years of calculus, biology and English, they were much the same kids they were in a place long ago called California. Except that she was heart-breakingly beautiful to him, as opposed to the “pretty cute” from seventh grade. And so, they wandered the city together. They chatted like the old friends they were, and had much fun. They caught Pirates of the Carribean, a terrible movie, annoying the many other people who had come to see it with their whispered criticism. They wandered through, generally acting ridiculously. The box of memories was dusted off, and the key was placed in the keyhole and turned. The sun set, its last light turned Taipei 101 into a blood-red pillar above the city. So, it was time for dinner. They found a small traditional café, which had probably been there for a hundred years that neither would probably visit again. The girl produced some grape juice, and the two began to eat and drink. As Ticklishmusic took the first sip, he noticed it tasted funny—it tasted like grape juice and vodka! Oh well. Carpe diem. The drinking age in Taiwan was 18. He kept drinking anyways. By the end of the meal, the two were quite tipsy. Grape juice and vodka is not particularly strong, but many Asian people apparently, including Ticklishmusic and The girl, have a gene that makes alcohol processing hard for the body—they had not so good alcohol tolerance. It was dark, and so they headed off to the park. They procured a kite from somewhere and flew it until they managed to lose it, then zig zagged across the park before lying down side by side in the grass under a tree atop a hill. It was a bit damp and chilly, and so they huddled close together. The girl turned her head, and Ticklishmusic kissed her. They separated, and as Ticklishmusic looked into her eyes, he knew that he was in love with her, and had been for seven years. And after all those years, damn right he told her that. That feeling, that moment when the universe and all the world will stop for you, is love. We made out for awhile, then remained cuddled. I asked her what would become of us. We agreed that given the distance between us, that we should willingly walk the paths before us. It might lead to each other once more, it might not. And we would walk, and not look back. Letting go of her was perhaps the most difficult thing in my life. I was crying most of the way back. I flew back home a few weeks later. We kept in touch. We went to college- me in Georgia, her in Taipei. There were many attractive (Asian) girls at my school, but past physical attractiveness, I wasn’t interested really. I had my own private sorrow, happiness, I wasn’t sure which. About a week ago, she went to the doctor for a more or less routine checkup. She hadn’t been feeling too well. The doctor did his tests, and found something a bit funny. Cancer was the word, though he wasn’t quite sure what kind. T-cell-prolymphocytic leukemia was the diagnosis, and the path she would walk away from him on. tl;dr girl and me liked each other since seventh grade, moved far away from each other but kept in contact, finally saw each other and realized we were in love. we agreed to go on with our lives, regardless of where they took us, then found out she has cancer. I just about cried T.T Beautiful story. | ||
Brotatoes23
United States67 Posts
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Bartuc
Netherlands629 Posts
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Sickkiee
Japan607 Posts
I recently met the love of my life (or so I think anyway) in Japan. We, of course cannot be together as I study uni in Australia, and her in Japan. We both love each other very, very much. But long distance relationships don't often work, especially not for 4 years. Sigh. | ||
h41fgod
Sweden377 Posts
The acceptance formula is 7.5 + 1/2(age of the younger). At least in Sweden, where the age of consent is 15. You can round up or down. So yeah, dont know if that was spontaneous or not, but spot on. o.O Oh, and my love life is about as rock bottom as it has ever been. | ||
InfernoStarcraft
Australia136 Posts
Since we both don't appreciate stupidly lavish gifts we usually do hand made stuff for holidays, eg. on christmas i made her a cake :D She made me these + Show Spoiler + ![]() The mushroom on the right has a scarf on! :D:D:D:D | ||
Hidden_MotiveS
Canada2562 Posts
On February 02 2012 18:14 Hyst3ria wrote: So there's this guy I met at school, he's really cute (in my opinion). Right now I am currently at college and this guy is a different major than me. He is a business major while I am a computer science major (completely opposite ends of the school). We talk on a daily basis and I have just been trying to find a way to tell him how I feel about him. He's really into the starcraft scene and he is korean which is an A+ in my book. After long deliberating I just don't know how to tell him how I feel about him. This is essentially where I'm at in my dating state. Did I mention he has a fucking massive jaw? pic removed He's the one next to machine obviously. They are so cute together. Right now I feel like he doesn't know how I feel so it's kind of at that friend zone stage. I don't like this stage because I've been there so many times and I have difficulty moving past it. Any advice people? I believe his TL account is [censored]. Thanks and have a nice day everyone! You just told everyone on TL, possibly including him that you like him. Can't be that hard to make sure that he's heard you. I'm not really qualified to give advice though. (I'm not being trolled am I?) | ||
Labbetuss
Norway568 Posts
On February 02 2012 17:36 QNdie wrote: Relationships are bullshit, complete and utter bullshit. I was dating this girl who I was completely dumbfounded by. She really liked me too, and when we were not dating she was always trying to spend time with me and even hit on me etc. When we dated, periodically, she started not caring and not paying attention. She lost interest in meeting me anywhere and never initiated conversations. I became sad and did not know what to do so I just kept on trying to keep her. One day she called me, tears in her eyes and said this is not really working out balablablabla, I really wish we could be together but I have a lot going , on, I'm not ready for a serious relationship, like I thought I was. I was mega sad. I was so fucking angry with myself and felt like a pussy for not being able to fulfill the needs of a girl, so far that she lost interest in me when she really liked me without actually trying before. Love fucking sucks, not touching a girl or anything for a looooooooooong time I feel I salute you my single brotheeeer! Anyways, Valentine's Day is coming up soon, and I'm going to have so much fun hating it ^_^ | ||
FabledIntegral
United States9232 Posts
On February 02 2012 18:17 CaptainCharisma wrote: Is it OK it date a girl 5 years younger than you? EDIT: Shit, the Swedish guy beat me to it! Half your age + 7. If you're 24, lowest you can date is 12 + 7 = 19, which is 5 years younger than you. So basically, if you're 24 or older, than yes. Of course, this is a bunch of bull, and people date whoever, but the "half your age + 7" is always the "go to answer" I've heard from just about everyone when talking "generally" and jokingly. Clearly if you were 24 and dated an 18 year old, not a huge fucking deal. In fact, you could be 30 and date a 20 year old, who cares, really... Although 30 and 17 might be a little creepy. I don't know why 17 is so iffy. Probably just subconscious since the law says 18 is the age of consent. On February 02 2012 18:40 Hidden_MotiveS wrote: You just told everyone on TL, possibly including him that you like him. Can't be that hard to make sure that he's heard you. I'm not really qualified to give advice though. (I'm not being trolled am I?) I was assuming this was simply her way of telling him (as I thought the same thing you did, especially if she knows his account name), although it could very well be a troll, especially someone that knows him personally (or, in fact, it's him on another alias!). | ||
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