Dating: How's your luck? - Page 46

I want to start with a good story first that everyone here should appreciate. I was set up on a blind date (this was pre-sc2 time) with a really cute girl by a mutual friend. She laughed at my jokes and was pretty funny herself. I felt like I was charming enough and the conversation was good. Then suddenly the date took a turn I never expected when she, without any kind of initiation from me, expressed her interest in video games (my eyes widen and I sit up a little straighter), specifically in Brood War (my eyes fall out of my head). She played Terran, which was a little downer since I'm a Zerg man, but who cares, right? I remember being amazed that I was on a blind date and the girl across from me was talking about siege tanks. I am usually a closet nerd and I rarely if ever bring up video games on a first date (sorry Day9 episode #100), so it was a little awkward for me to go against the grain, but at the same time how awesome to be able to talk about starcraft on a first date. One interesting thing to note that I'm a little embarrassed about is that yes she was cute and yes we were getting along and YES she was even laughing at my jokes, but holy moly when she started talking about Brood War the attraction meter in my head went off the charts.

Unfortunately the end of the story is she wasn't interested in going out again even though I was. I did ask my friend and did some minimal-yet-necessary facebook stalking and my best guess is she liked me but was more interested in another guy at the time. I always thought that was a fun experience though.

The girl I dated in high school was one of the (if not THE) best matches I've ever had. I wasn't a great boyfriend (hey, it was high school), and she ended up cheating on me, but we reconciled and were friends after that. I know people say you can't get back to the friend zone, and sure it wasn't exactly the same but it was pretty close. She ended up leaving the guy she cheated on me for because he was a jerk, only to get back together with him and married him a few years later.

I still regret not putting away my pride and trying to start it up again when we were a little older and more mature. We always were friends and got along great. She also had apologized for what she did and I definitely don't think it would have reoccured. But I always held my feelings back for some arbitrary reason because it seemed like the thing to do (I'm sure plenty of you are nodding your heads, why would you date someone that cheated on you?). I'll tell you why, because you were young and stupid and both made mistakes, but years later you're still getting along great and have both grown and matured a lot. Why not give it a second chance? I didn't realize at that time how good of a match we were, having not experienced a lot of other women, but now I look back and think it was a mistake to follow some arbitrary restriction I put on myself. A lot of these posts are from much younger people, so learn from my mistakes!

Lastly... I just recently broke things off with a really amazing, sweet, cute girl. We both loved each other and were also a really good match. I really like her family and they liked me, and vice versa for her and my family. She supported video games and would even play Plants vs Zombies (and would listen when I talked about esports). We had a really amazing and healthy relationship and were probably on the way to get married.

What happened then? We broke it off because of religious differences (I'm a very critical thinker and like to challenge and investigate religion, while she is very traditional and conservative). We didn't even want to break up, but we came to a mutual decision that that was the best choice for the future. Sad way to break up.

There are a lot of details I'm leaving out of this story, in case people are getting worked up. Feel free to leave feedback if you want, but I am confident that we did not rush the decision and that it was the best one given the particular circumstances we were in.

One upon a time in the distant land of California, there lived a boy named Ticklishmusic. After a storm which drove him from his home (reference to Hurricane Katrina), he went to live with his aunt in the town of Thousand Oaks. It was a sunny, pleasant place, except for his extremely strict and rather overbearing compulsive aunt and his prodigy cousins. At the end of the first semester, he left Thousand Oaks with his family, bidding farewell to his friends.
He went across California to the Bay Area. The family found a house in the tiny city of Albany, slightly south of UC Berkeley which was actually bigger than the town. And the dad went off to work, the mom “cleaned the house”, and Ticklishmusic went to school.

At school, Ticklishmusic quickly made friends. He became part of a patchwork quilt of students from all sorts of backgrounds: rich, poor. Happy, depressed. Athletic, not athletic. Smart, not-so-smart. After a month or two, it was as if he had been there all his life. He could barely remember his real home.

Among the many people Ticklishmusic hnug out with was a boy named Ezra. The two sat together in Spanish class, and walked several blocks in the same direction together after school. And they were friends.

There was also The girl. She and Ticklishmusic were both on the track team, and had PE and Algebra I together. After track practice, they would walk home together as well. And it became kind of a joke amongst the group of friends that the two hung out together so much.

Slowly as these things went, Ticklishmusic and The girl spent more time together. Every morning, Ticklishmusic arranged it so his route would cross The girl’s and they would walk to school together. And at lunch, they sat next to each other. And of course, they walked home together. And the jokes continued, but they took it; the jokes had some truth in them after all.
Ticklishmusic liked The girl, and The girl liked him too. But since they were in seventh grade, it stayed that way for awhile. And perhaps it would have stayed that way, for Ticklishmusic had little time left in Albany. Then nearing the end of the year, there was a dance at school. So Ticklishmusic asked The girl to go “as friends” with the rest of their peoples. And so they did. It was May 13.

For several hours, they sat in the bleachers with other friends and chatted and laughed. And they also got up and danced with their friends in a big group. And it was fun.

Finally, the dance neared its end. And the DJ put on a slow song.

From where they sat, Ticklishmusic gathered up his courage and nudged The girl and asked for a dance. And they snuck away from the mass of laughing, chatting friends to the other, darker side of the gym. And they danced. First they did the awkward shoulder arm thing, then settled into a… err… more comfortable position.

In his mind, Ticklishmusic went over many things and finally opened his mouth to say something.

But, Ezra suddenly popped up, waving his cell phone above the couple’s heads in an irritating, intruding manner. And he ooh’d and ahh’d and called over the other friends. And Ticklishmusic and The girl stepped back from each other (the song was almost over) and smiled sheepishly and laughed too.

Ticklishmusic never got to say what he wanted to say.

Ticklishmusic and The girl hung out plenty for the rest of the year. A big party was thrown for him when he left. Atop Albany Rock, the highest point in the town, they said “I guess this is goodbye,” and impulsively, had their first kiss. They hugged and bid farewell to each other and promised to keep in contact. And that was it.

For several weeks into the summer, they talked often. And one day, Ticklishmusic called, and no one picked up. And the calls stopped.

For three years, it was as if they had never met and never known one another. Ticklishmusic began to wonder if it had actually happened, then locked his memories of California into a box and hid the key. And he hobbled his way through everyday life and smiled.

Well, there were good days and bad days. From his sole remaining contact to California, Michael, he discovered that Ezra and The girl began going out on July 6. And Ticklishmusic was sad. But they quickly broke up. And Ticklishmusic was less sad.

After three years, a thousand days, The girl finally called. When Ticklishmusic took his cell phone from his pocket, he thought he was dreaming. But he picked up. And the box of memories opened. And his phone bill went from an average of 700 minutes to 1300 for January.

After several days of renewed contact, The girl explained why the calls had stopped. Turned out, Ezra had mentioned something to her about Ticklishmusic never liking her. Obviously, it was quite devastating and he, Ezra, had played the sympathetic one. And thusly, they went out. But only for a short time.

Hearing this, Ticklishmusic chucked his phone at the wall/bed. And then went to pick it up and explain. (somehow, the phone didn’t shut off) There was a lot of awkward silence. But the next day, they talked again and there were a lot of what-might-have-beens that whizzed through Ticklishmusic’s head.

And through a series of complicated circumstances involving the economy, The girl’s dad decided to move the family back to Taiwan.

Though years passed and high school happened, they kept in touch. It was a difficult time and space difference, but they managed to keep in contact. They shared stories of their lives, and Ticklishmusic skyped late into the night. But, they never defined exactly what the relationship was between them. Ticklishmusic left the box locked, and they were friends, siblings… something.

Outside of those emails, old-fashioned letters and video calls, life went on. They succeeded in high school, making the top of their classes, and joining many clubs and having lots of fun with new friends. They dated other people, yet for Ticklishmusic, something never quite felt right. Every girl he dated, after that initial flare of passion, felt strangely distant. They were all nice, they were fairly pretty too as Ticklishmusic had some standards, but something was… missing. “Is this love?” he asked himself. And in the end, that doubt led to the ruin of his relationships. And then he asked himself “Is this sadness?” At the best, he was a wet blankie for several girls (and a few guy friends as well). And so life went on.

Finally, graduation came. Ticklishmusic tossed his mortarboard, and his family went to Taiwan to visit the grandparents. Ticklishmusic was delighted to visit Taiwan—he had great memories of the sights, and all his cousins and his wonderful grandmother who had made him delicious things to eat. His Chinese was not so good anymore, but that was no big deal. It was Taiwan. Taipei. The city he perhaps loved the most in the world. And this time, the stakes were higher, for The girl was there as well.

One day, they decided to hang out. Taipei 101 was the location. Ticklishmusic told his family that he was going to take a walk through the city as he often did, and left his grandparents’ apartment. He caught a bus and went to Taipei 101, his stomach filled with butterflies.

Ticklishmusic arrived several minutes early and sat down on a bench. He watched the people moving across the plaza, until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He whirled around, and there stood his friend from seventh grade. Despite the frequent facebooking and video calls, he had not realized how much she had changed, for he his mental image had been static. Indeed, despite years of calculus, biology and English, they were much the same kids they were in a place long ago called California. Except that she was heart-breakingly beautiful to him, as opposed to the “pretty cute” from seventh grade.
And so, they wandered the city together. They chatted like the old friends they were, and had much fun. They caught Pirates of the Carribean, a terrible movie, annoying the many other people who had come to see it with their whispered criticism. They wandered through, generally acting ridiculously. The box of memories was dusted off, and the key was placed in the keyhole and turned.

The sun set, its last light turned Taipei 101 into a blood-red pillar above the city. So, it was time for dinner. They found a small traditional café, which had probably been there for a hundred years that neither would probably visit again. The girl produced some grape juice, and the two began to eat and drink. As Ticklishmusic took the first sip, he noticed it tasted funny—it tasted like grape juice and vodka! Oh well. Carpe diem. The drinking age in Taiwan was 18. He kept drinking anyways.

By the end of the meal, the two were quite tipsy. Grape juice and vodka is not particularly strong, but many Asian people apparently, including Ticklishmusic and The girl, have a gene that makes alcohol processing hard for the body—they had not so good alcohol tolerance. It was dark, and so they headed off to the park. They procured a kite from somewhere and flew it until they managed to lose it, then zig zagged across the park before lying down side by side in the grass under a tree atop a hill.

It was a bit damp and chilly, and so they huddled close together. The girl turned her head, and Ticklishmusic kissed her. They separated, and as Ticklishmusic looked into her eyes, he knew that he was in love with her, and had been for seven years. And after all those years, damn right he told her that. That feeling, that moment when the universe and all the world will stop for you, is love.

We made out for awhile, then remained cuddled. I asked her what would become of us. We agreed that given the distance between us, that we should willingly walk the paths before us. It might lead to each other once more, it might not. And we would walk, and not look back. Letting go of her was perhaps the most difficult thing in my life. I was crying most of the way back.

I flew back home a few weeks later. We kept in touch. We went to college- me in Georgia, her in Taipei. There were many attractive (Asian) girls at my school, but past physical attractiveness, I wasn’t interested really. I had my own private sorrow, happiness, I wasn’t sure which.

About a week ago, she went to the doctor for a more or less routine checkup. She hadn’t been feeling too well. The doctor did his tests, and found something a bit funny.

Cancer was the word, though he wasn’t quite sure what kind. T-cell-prolymphocytic leukemia was the diagnosis, and the path she would walk away from him on.